liminal_luke
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Everything posted by liminal_luke
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Town Hall Meeting on Self-Governance for TDB Re: No Mods or Sean Currently
liminal_luke replied to Earl Grey's topic in General Discussion
My partner is sensitive to negative news stories so I tell him not to watch. Why put oneself in a position to get worked up? IĀ“ll occasionally talk with him about conflict here and he offers me similar advice: just stay away. Touche! I donĀ“t think I need to quit the board entirely (so many good people here), but I could stand to be more discerning about the threads where I put my energy. One thing I notice is that I like a fight. I try not to participate directly but I like to watch, often while telling others to pipe down. (This doesnĀ“t make me look good, I know. Thankfully, IĀ“m not claiming any kind of perfection here.) I spent a lot of time on the recent levitation thread. IĀ“ve spent a lot of time on threads dedicated to the alledged misbehavior of particular Bums -- most recently Gendao and Jeff. A new thread in this vein recently popped up to warn people about ChiDragon. That should be a good one! When Trump Talk was active, I was right there. Spectator fights are entertaining but they arenĀ“t good for me psychologically or spiritually. I notice the same thing with my reading and TV watching habits. Once, I told a friend that I only like to read fiction where someone dies. ThatĀ“s not entirely true but thereĀ“s some truth in it. Unfortunately, something icky happens to my mind if I load up on crime stories. ItĀ“s not possible to completely avoid negativity and still be a member here -- conflict and strife infuse even the most "spiritual" of topics. Still, I could choose to guide my viewing in directions that are likely to be congruent with my goals as a Bum. There are people posting here, even now, who are capable of informing me, inspiring me, uplifting me. May I spend time in their company. -
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Town Hall Meeting on Self-Governance for TDB Re: No Mods or Sean Currently
liminal_luke replied to Earl Grey's topic in General Discussion
Everybody comes to this board with different sensibilities. Some Bums have blustery personalities (looking at you, Starjumper) and bring a little bit of biker bar atmosphere to the board. Some like a very loose moderation approach -- or no moderation at all -- and think that the board works best when itĀ“s allowed to grow wild, that apparent anarchy is the way of the Dao. Others, such as myself, would suspend folks just for using the laughing emoji in a "laughing at" manner. If it was up to me everyone would hug and sing songs and nobody would say an unkind word. -
Town Hall Meeting on Self-Governance for TDB Re: No Mods or Sean Currently
liminal_luke replied to Earl Grey's topic in General Discussion
This is a good idea, though I do think that you, Earl Grey, were unusually open to feedback. Kudos to you. Most of the Bums who could stand to dial it back a bit wouldnĀ“t listen. Still, doesnĀ“t hurt to try. -
Love Shys, Involuntary Celibates, True Forced Loneliness, etc.
liminal_luke replied to Immortal4life's topic in The Rabbit Hole
Damn that Brad Pitt! Only wanting to have sex with beautiful women. Why not with Luke? Beta male ainĀ“t good enough for ya, Brad? The world has really changed, and IĀ“ll tell ya, not for the better. -
Love Shys, Involuntary Celibates, True Forced Loneliness, etc.
liminal_luke replied to Immortal4life's topic in The Rabbit Hole
IĀ“m not surprised. It feels as though the men identifying with the "incel movement" arenĀ“t relating to women as human beings. They accuse women of being shallow (for not having sex with them), and are blind to their own shallowness. -
Love Shys, Involuntary Celibates, True Forced Loneliness, etc.
liminal_luke replied to Immortal4life's topic in The Rabbit Hole
One more observation from the gay world. Sometimes older gay men will complain that they canĀ“t get sex but what they really mean is that they canĀ“t get sex with men twenty years younger. The older gay men sometimes think of this as "ageism" but, interestingly, they are not interested in having sex with each other either. I wonder if something similar occasionally plays out among straights? -
Love Shys, Involuntary Celibates, True Forced Loneliness, etc.
liminal_luke replied to Immortal4life's topic in The Rabbit Hole
More than a few gay men have married women -- often to the womenĀ“s horror when circumstances come to light. If gay men can marry women, I canĀ“t help but think itĀ“s not that hard to do. -
Love Shys, Involuntary Celibates, True Forced Loneliness, etc.
liminal_luke replied to Immortal4life's topic in The Rabbit Hole
You think I havenĀ“t made a choice? -
Love Shys, Involuntary Celibates, True Forced Loneliness, etc.
liminal_luke replied to Immortal4life's topic in The Rabbit Hole
Many people look to the past and think that life was better then -- and in many ways perhaps it was. Still, there are some things I like about being a modern man. ThereĀ“s more freedom to choose a lifepath that works for me rather than being shamed into choosing one that doesnĀ“t work. Men can choose to live with a woman and form a family, or not. I choose not. -
Love Shys, Involuntary Celibates, True Forced Loneliness, etc.
liminal_luke replied to Immortal4life's topic in The Rabbit Hole
I think itĀ“s helpful to take responsibility for oneĀ“s own erotic life. Suppose IĀ“m single and unable to find willing sexual partners. ItĀ“s not helpful to blame those who donĀ“t want to have sex with me. ItĀ“s not helpful to yell at the moon. What does work is taking a hard look at oneĀ“s situation and taking appropriate action. Some questions.... Am I putting myself into situations where IĀ“m likely to meet suitable partners? Am I taking care of my personal appearance? Do I need to work on social skills? Shyness? Would therapy be useful to help me identify and address the issues that are holding me back? If sex isnĀ“t in the cards, are there other ways that I can cultivate fulfilling nonsexual intimcy and community in my life? -
Can we please drop the rancor and bickering?
liminal_luke replied to dwai's topic in General Discussion
IĀ“m not sure thereĀ“s much to be done about the general tenor of the board. Rancor and conflict is due to the personalities of those posting and thereĀ“s no way to control that. I like what @ilumairen has done with her PPD and think it could be a model for those who want to have deep and productive conversation. She has created her own little mini forum under her purview. Bums could start conversations in their PPDĀ“s, perhaps inviting in particular people knowledgable about the topic at hand. The person who owned the PPD would have total moderating power to keep things rancor-free. -
I have no idea what happens after death. My personal spiritual experience doesnĀ“t extend far enough for me to speculate. I have however explored a tiny fraction of the practices Steve alluded to earlier and I can tell you from experience that they are worth exploring.
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Unless the personal testimony in question is oneĀ“s own.
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Quantify? Perhaps not. But thatĀ“s hardly the only way -- and maybe not the best way -- to judge a practice tradition. A person could take up a practice for a week or two, perhaps in the form of widely available online courses, and get personal experience. This wouldnĀ“t be enough experience to "retain awareness in the bardo" but it would be enough to give someone a sense for whether or not they wanted to continue.
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This makes sense to me. If the image was customized to fit the energetic dynamic of each "client" then I would think it would be different depending on each person, not always a busty blonde. The fact that the image is usually a busty blonde suggests to me that itĀ“s about whatĀ“s going on for Jeff.
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Yes, absolutely -- shit comes up. Still, I wonder if you feel you have some responsibility, when you work with someone, to assess readiness and make sure you donĀ“t begin a process that stirs up more shit than a person can safely and comfortably process? Given that a number of people have had a negative reaction to the "busty blonde" technique, will you continue to use it in the same way in the future? Does any of this give you pause?
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Love Shys, Involuntary Celibates, True Forced Loneliness, etc.
liminal_luke replied to Immortal4life's topic in The Rabbit Hole
Lots of virile young straight men arenĀ“t getting sex? Good thing IĀ“m an aspiring Daoist and belong to this forum or I would never have heard of the "incel movement." And here I thought gay men had problems! -
Jeff may have good and pure intentions. I canĀ“t say for certain, though some of the things posted certainly look bad for him. Who knows, maybe some people benefited from their interaction with the busty blonde? One thing is for sure though: any kind of erotic encounter in a therapeutic setting, even just an energetic one, is fraught with risk. ThereĀ“s a reason why therapists, for instance, are prohibited from having sex with their clients -- even if a client agrees, even if a client initiates the encounter. Jeff is certainly not the only spiritual teacher whose been on the hot seat for having sex, astral or no, with his students. ItĀ“s practically an epidemic. Is it always wrong in every circumstance? Our culture says yes. Mostly I say yes too though I have a tiny sliver of doubt. Part of me wants to believe in the possibility of sexual spiritual healing. (Guess IĀ“m heretical like that.) But itĀ“s risky, risky, risky. Spiritual seekers would do well to exercise extreme caution.
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If this discussion is to have value for Bums considering working with Jeff, I think it would be helpful to hear first-person testimonials and reviews, positive and negative. This is obviously personal stuff so I totally get it if people decline to share for reasons of privacy and appropriate personal boundaries. Right now thereĀ“s a lot of negative innuendo and accusations but I donĀ“t hear anybody saying...I worked with Jeff and hereĀ“s my experience. I think it would be helpful to hear from Bums whoĀ“ve worked with Jeff and found it beneficial as well as those who may have had negative experiences. In this way, someone considering getting scanned or "sharing space" or whatever will be able to make a more informed decision.
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IĀ“ve been "hugged" many a time and am no worse for wear. At least I donĀ“t think so. (Others, ahum, may beg to differ.) Perhaps IĀ“m just not sensitive to the deleterious effects others have experienced? In the end, I decided only to accept spiritual hugs from my partner. Casual in-person huggers are also very welcome. Part of my hesitation is that IĀ“m quite averse to hierarchical social structures, situations where one person is assumed to be more advanced than another. Generally speaking, IĀ“ve been in the beta position in such cases and IĀ“m allergic to that. Not that I claim any great spiritual achievement, quite the contrary. Perhaps I should just get over myself and receive instruction and mentoring from my more advanced betters. I have accepted teachers in my life but IĀ“m choosy. Mostly I like to learn something and then go off and practice independently. JeffĀ“s energetic presence may be more potent than most, but IĀ“m not convinced itĀ“s different in kind from the mundane vibes we send each other every day. IĀ“m profoundly effected by the "energy" of what I read here on the board, lately mostly for the worse. WeĀ“re constantly scanning each other, usually unconsciously, and sending out waves of influence. This isnĀ“t black magic (or white magic) -- itĀ“s human nature. That said, I do appreciate JeffĀ“s courtesy in asking for permission. Even his detractors will likely agree that scanning with permission is more ethical than scanning without. .
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In preparation for casual sex?
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...changed my mind...
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As members of this forum, almost all of us have participated in casual, albeit nonerotic, S&M.
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I too have been taught that there`s a divisive (discernment) aspect to metal, as well as a contractive one. The organ associated with metal is the lungs, and the job of the lungs is to divide the oxygen from the carbon dioxide, so there`s this task of separating out what`s needed from what isn`t. Metal can also be fashioned into a sword, which cuts. The ability to discern requires awareness and sensitivity, a mirrorlike reflective quality that accurately depicts things so we know what is what. The exactness, precision of this awareness can give metal an elegant quality. Also related to divisiveness is the act of letting go, clearly the job of the large intestine, the other organ associated with metal. @Taomeow Does this accord with your understanding or are RobB and I lost in a five elements wonderland?
