liminal_luke

Karl, I´m neither transsexual nor a crossdresser, just a garden-variety gay. In my more insecure moments, I´d like to think that I could pass as "straight," but, sadly, few are deceived. So while I´m not especially up on the biology of transsexualism, or the fine points of trans politics or ethics, I do know what it feels like to be hated. I know what it´s live in a community where people think you are evil and bad for something that´s such a central part of who you are. Not fun. So, to me, it seems like basic human decency to extend a little compassion to transsexual people. If they say they were born the wrong gender, and want to take steps to change that, who am I to say otherwise? If they take hormones or get surgery or wear wigs it´s not about me. They aren´t doing it to have duplicitous sex with vulnerable straight dudes. They certainly aren´t doing it so they can make less per hour at their jobs or get passed over for promotions. They are doing it because it feels right deep in their souls. The son of my mom´s boyfriend is transsexual. Born Matt, she´s now Emilie. She told her father that for years she had been hiding the fact that she felt like a girl from everyone. His response? Why couldn´t she go on hiding? Her decision to transition was more about honesty than dishonesty if you ask me. It takes courage to be who you are. So much courage.

Karl, You bring up a good point. Transsexualism brings up ethical issues, issues I haven´t spent a lot of time thinking through and don´t claim to be an expert about. If a transsexual person has transitioned to live as the gender they identify with, then that´s an important part of their life and I imagine that they would, and should, share it with people they are close to, whether friends or sexual partners. I think we agree about this. But I don´t think that simply being trans is about deception. Transsexual people experience their given anatomical gender as psychologically painful, and, in many cases, take measures to alleviate that pain. These measures may involve hormones or surgery so that the gender they feel like on the inside matches their outside appearance. Nobody chooses to be transsexual, but some people choose to crossdress. As I pointed out in my post to Aetherous, those people might be halloween party-goers, sexual fetishists, or rebellious teens experimenting with gender-fluidity. Maybe some few of them are gay men trying to trick attractive drunk heterosexual men into their beds, and, if so, that would be wrong. But that has nothing to do with being transsexual. Transsexual people are not frauds, at least not merely by virtue of being trans. They are people with a painful psychological condition who want to be happy. Just like the rest of us. Liminal

Aetherous, I´m happy to hear your views on the physiological basis of people born with ambiguous gender. Agreed. But don´t you think that a similar physiological phenomenon might be at the root of at least some cases of transsexual identity? I´m not saying that our culture as a whole isn´t getting more fluid about gender as a whole. I think it is and perhaps Karl and you object to that cultural phenomenon. But that´s not what´s going on in most cases when people call themselves transsexual. I could decide to wear a dress and put on makeup for any number of reasons. Perhaps it´s Halloween and this is my costume. Maybe it turns me on sexually. Maybe I¨m rebelling against my parents or think it´s fashionable with the kids at school. Some of these reasons are no doubt silly. Some of these reasons might be evidence of "an unprincipled and foolish culture." We could debate this but, strictly speaking, we´d be going off topic. None of these hypothetical crossdressers-- not the halloween party-goer, the sexual fetishist, or the rebellious adolescent-- are transsexual. Transsexualism is something entirely different. Liminal

Men are men except when they aren´t. This isn´t people "messing with definitions"; it´s a fact of their biology. Transgender may be meaningless to you but it wouldn´t be if you were transgender. I imagine you are a man who feels comfortable with your masculine identity, is sexually attracted to women, and so on. If so, that´s great. Life is much easier that way. But why assume everyone is like you? There´s this whole group of people out there who say that ever since they remember they´ve felt like they were born the "wrong" gender. Sometimes they take steps to correct the problem through hormone treatments or surgery. Again, they aren´t messing with definitions. They simply have a different experience than you do. Why get mad?

Karl, Transgender people aren´t blurring the definition of gender, and neither, for that matter, are gays and lesbians. Or intersex folks. In all these cases, people are just responding to their biology. There are physical reasons that underlie these variations, things that could be seen under a microscope if we knew where (and when) to look. So it´s not simply a matter of people getting needlessly relativistic and fuzzy-headed with abstraction. Perhaps you would prefer to live in the wild west where "men were men," but morality has nothing to do with it. Liminal

Transgender folk suffer from a neurological and/or hormonal glitch in the system. Straight men who put on their girlfriends panties in private are indulging a sexual kink. Drag queens (and kings) just want to have fun. ................................................. Well, at least that´s my current understanding, though I´m sure reality is more complicated than I imagine.

My first introduction to anything Taoist was from a modern orthodox Jew cum anthropologist teaching meditation in Jerusalem. He taught us to hold our hands out, palms facing each other, and slowly move them back and forth until we could feel a "chi ball." Now this chi ball isn´t the same as the pearl referenced in the poem Jeff quoted. I know that. But it´s perhaps where it starts. We can debate about the pearl all day, but why not practice? Practice of any number of chi gung systems or forms will deepen understanding. Liminal

Hi Robin, Just some thoughts. What a major life transition, to go from spending 15 years of committed study with someone and then just letting it go, seeing what else comes your way. The word that comes to me is "divorce." Certainly, there´s a need to grieve this life passage. It might seem like a total break, but I´d encourage you to see your new direction as simply a continuation of the spiritual path you´ve been on, in a sense, since birth. You were learning spiritually before you ever met BK Franztis. (If not, you would never have been attracted to his teaching in the first place.) You learned a lot with him, and now you will continue this journey with someone else or on your own. As traumatic as this break from a long-time teacher may feel, it´s actually just a crucial next step in a continuing process, a necessary -- if difficult -- part of your evolution. Liminal

I second gendao´s idea of a healer review sub-section. In the states, I don´t eat a slice of pizza without consulting Yelp. Surely deciding who I trust my body and spirit to deserves similar forethought. Liminal

Thanks! That was fun. I think if I was reading for information (like a student) this would be really useful, but mostly I read for enjoyment. I don´t want to read fast because then it would be over too quick.

I see Kunlun and KYMQ as very different also. The movement in Kunlun is spontaneous, and during Max´s seminars people often gyrated quite wildly. In the KYMQ video practitioners are specifically advised to avoid such movements.

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If only spending a lot of time on Taobums made the list of chief traits...

I don´t know whether to laugh or cry. Think I´ll go with cry for now.

Arya, Far be it from me to be skeptical of your abilities, but about that condom. When you do find a girl who wants to have sex with you and a suitable place to do so (and I believe you will if this is what you truly want) I hope you won´t rely exclusively on your energetic control to avoid an unwanted pregnancy, not to mention possible disease. You might be truly accomplished in this area, but better safe than sorry. Liminal

Not having a place to have sex -- not a huge problem. Not having a condom -- (potentially) a huge problem. Liminal (Of course, Arya didn´t mention concerns about birth control or STDs so I think it´s safe to assume he´s got those areas covered. I just wanted to say...)

If there´s a "huge problem" here it´s that somehow what seems on it´s face to be a simple logistical issue has become a huge problem in your mind. I agree with Miffymog that perhaps there´s more going on here than is apparent in your OP. Here in Mexico, where I live, people commonly live with their parents until they are married -- even into their 40s --and I can assure you that young people are still finding ways to have sex. Liminal

Yes, but everyone wants to sell short.

Years ago, I taught a weekly class in Hebrew pronunciation to adults who wanted to participate more fully in Shabbat services. I wanted them to be interested in the meaning of the words, but they quickly set me straight: no learning beyond the sound of the words was wanted or needed. Talk about your instant noodles. Naturally, once you´ve had the good anything it´s hard to go back. And why should you? I don´t blame anyone for pointing out the difference. I´m just saying that some people arrive at the authentic by virtue of a bastardized, circuitous path. A few stumble on spiritual caviar from the get-go through extraordinary karma, luck, or destiny; most of us do not.

Some years ago I attended a "mountain retreat" led by Hyunmoon Kim, and I can assure you there was nothing watered-down about the experience. We can debate about the exact definition of "Taoist," but one thing is for sure: long-term practitioners of SunDo get results, and they should -- they´ve worked hard for them. Liminal

Some people like their liquor neat, other´s prefer it watered down. But both groups will get drunk eventually if they drink enough. Where there´s more watered down yoga, you´ll also find more pure yoga. And no one culture has a monopoly on the divine. Liminal

Practitioners of Sun Do consider their system Taoist, and I see no reason not to take them at their word. Why define Taoism so narrowly?

What´s Mopai?...Oh never mind...

Oh, the idea of idea of retaining jing -- there´s something so tantalizing about it. I can´t say I´m free of the idea myself, but I do have a cautionary observation. In my experience, the mindset that leads a person to be promiscuous or masturbate to excess (whatever that may be), is the same mindset that leads a person to want to retain. They seem like opposite attitudes but are really two sides of the same coin. It´s like someone who binges and purges with food. Sometimes your stomach is full, sometimes empty, but the mental pattern underlying all this is singular. If you want to do something really and truly different, moderation is the ticket. Of course, people who come from a binge and purge mindset aren´t going to find moderation appealing. And maybe that´s where the work is: getting to a place where it feels OK to be moderate. Liminal

Enlightenment is what happens when you turn on your flashlight. Whether or not you like what you see is another matter.