Tommy

I do not believe myself to be religious by any measure. Grew up with religious instructions. Learnt about Jesus and somewhat of the Bible. But, have distanced myself from actual church. Got exposed to Buddhism or rather Zen Buddhism. Liked it cause it said to actually try it for yourself. So, practised sitting meditation on and off from young teen to retirement. I do not believe it has made much difference in my understanding of the world around me. But, learning about Buddhism has shaped my way of looking at life. So, guess that I practise so I can become a better person. And yes, there are days that I wish that I was not trying to become a better person. Stuff happens.

I wish to not believe your brain is broken. Depression is a bad place to be. As in anything, it all begins with intent. Some might call it will. Only you are in control of you. So, if you want to have interest or anything else, you have to want it. Have the intent to do something about it. I certainly hope you get yourself out of this rut. Depression does not get better with time. It takes an incredible amount of effort to lift oneself by the bootstraps out of depression. I wish you the best.

How does one distinguish actually being 100% present in this moment and being identified with the thought of one being in the present moment? The trick of the mind is lead the ego into thinking one is doing something it isn't capable of doing?? Or is it the constant mind thought of being present in the moment that leads to being mindful?? Or am I just thinking too much about this??

Please, no arrogance here. Maybe a bit of difference in understanding. Buddhism does acknowledge Ying and Yang as a part of Dualism. It is part of the conventional knowledge and not the absolute knowledge. Sorry, for me, I do not know how to explain such things. And Vipassana is just a method. Not good nor bad. The person(s) practicing the method are the ones reflecting the value of the method. Of course, these are not the topic of this thread. Back to the soul in Buddhism, .... The teachings of the Dharma is only the vehicle or method to bring one across the waters. Once across the waters, one should drop the vehicle and move forward. Getting caught up the teachings is just another trap the mind makes. It will get one no where when entangled in argument.

I think there is a big difference between becoming enlightened and becoming a Buddha As being a Buddha implies having learned much wisdom. Where as becoming enlightened is the first steps in learning the wisdom the Buddha taught. And so, the first thing taught is the four noble truths.

Sorry for my comments here. Does beating down a man, better than lifting them out of ignorance? And yes, I do have dust in my eyes. But, I also have love and empathy in my heart. Again sorry for my comments here.

I believe there is a misunderstanding here about what the Buddha taught. The Buddha taught that there is no self as one believes themselves to be. As the Buddha found that one is an aggregate of things which believes itself to be a real self. Much like a car, if you take the pieces apart, there is no one piece that says that is the car. So, in relation to a self which one believes one to be, there is no piece inside one to be called the self. Buddha never said there is a soul nor did he say there is no soul. But that there is something eternal about one. That is what goes on to rebirth. Not reincarnation. Often one believes that something of the self survives rebirth and those are the clues to show there is rebirth or reincarnation. Those are the only markers that one knows to look for. However, it is only the remnant energy. What is reborn can not be seen by ordinary eyes. You might call it a spirit or soul. Believe what you must so you can sleep at night. It changes nothing. Only when one has experienced their true nature will they begin to learn. Okay, this is what I believe. But, I could be wrong. I always leave space for being wrong. That way, I can always learn.

Don't know Qigong. And don't know why there are so many repeat of the same thread?? But, looking it from an outside view point, which may nothing to do with you, ... Grounding is usually finding that one is not grounded and how to proceed from there. Do you have a teacher?? Certain exercises should be done with fore knowledge and guidance. Energy flows where one believes the consciousness resides. So, going for the head? Disturbing peace and sleep? Yes, it would seem to me to be a red flag. Still the question comes up, do you have a teacher? Well, I am sorry that I can not help. Hopefully you will find a teacher who can help you to move forward in your practice.

Thanks.

This is why I have cleared my ignore list. Because whatever they have to say, whether it makes me mad or angry, is showing me a side of me. And regardless, I need to face that as part of my journey to be a better person. Somedays, I wish I wasn't trying to be a better person. Yeah, Still got a massive ego.

I thought mindfulness comes from your practice. The more you are able to focus the mind and concentrate, you will then have more mindfulness thru out the day. Oh, the "You are not your thoughts" is very similar to trying to not identify with thoughts and drop the thinking mind. Of course, we do need to have a thinking mind to navigate the modern world. So, guess more with not identifying with thoughts. Eh, but what do I know. What do you define as mindfulness??

I have had you on the ignore list for a long time. And now you have reminded me of why that was. Yes, facepalm is a disagreement. But, you are free to view it as any way you would like. That is the beauty of emojis. Cause they represent more of an emotion rather than words. Live long and prosper.

I can related. There is a curiosity about the nature of the universe.

That isn't what I said. But if you wish it so then what can I say? I just do not exactly agree with your views.

Sorry no patience. Too long-didn't read. If one needs to refer to a complex paper about the nature of consciousness then maybe the subject is also too complex for simple discussions on a social forum. But, then again, it depends upon the participants. I like meditation cause it doesn't require deep thoughts and complex math. It doesn't need ideas of how one thinks one exists. And that is the attractiveness of meditation even if I can not do it properly. Guess, I will sit in my delusions a while longer.

Not sure what is meant by Quantum?? When physicist thought about the world, there were two things. One was the world at large. The night sky showed that there is a universe with many strange things. Then there is the world of the very small. Molecules, atoms, protons and electrons and then down to quarks. All of it thought of as particles. However, the world of the very small stuff seems to have no accuracy. Only probability seems to be allowed. The two slit experiment is one that seems to defy logic. Light or photons travel thru the two slits and create a wave pattern . This can be done also with electrons which one believes is a particle. The same thing happens. There is a pattern of wave interference. But, when one watches to determine a particle travels thru the slit. The pattern then become two lines. The act of observing the electrons seems to cause the wave form function to collapse. So what are we talking about when it comes to Quantum and Consciousness? Probability and statistics? One doesn't just live in the world of the very small. There is also the very large. Are we talking about forces? Gravity, electro-magnetism, strong force, weak force? The topic is not clear.

Sorry, but you put into question his method of validating his truth. That seemed to me that you denied his beliefs. I am probably wrong that you meant it that way. My apologies. His approach seemed logical? When in doubt to see if others see the same things??

If Truth is the bulwark against delusion then who decides what is the truth? Is it or isn't it someone else who agrees with you or your beliefs?? I just find that when one denies other's beliefs publicly that it creates a dangerous precedent. Personally, I agree that people should not be seeing vertical white light coming out of people. But, I only put it that in question and not deny that is what the person believes.

So, what are you implying?? Are people who have similar ideas and beliefs delusional? Then what is a bulwark against delusion?

Skip it. A lighter shade of pale.

Sounds you live inside a cult of some kind. Everyone can see the same vertical white light. Guess you must have asked quite a few people. It must be nice to get that kind of validation. Skipped the light Fandango. Turn the cartwheel 'cross the floor. I was feeling kinda seasick. The crowd called out for more. The room was humming harder. As the ceiling flew away. When we called out for another drink, the waiter brought a tray. And so it was that later, As the miller told his tale. That her face at first just ghostly, Turned a whiter shade of pale, She said there is no reason, And the truth is plain to see. That I wandered thru my playing cards. And would not let her be. One of sixteen vestal virgins. Who were leaving for the coast. And although my eyes were open, they might have well have been closed.

Sorry, I have never had that experience of seeing a vertical stream of light. Supposedly it produces consciousness in the brain and generates life force and spiritual purpose in the heart. I do not believe it is a phenomenon which is commonly experienced. Sorry, you have lost me.

So, this spiritual relationship, does it have a memory? Does it have eyes? Does it feel? Can it sense whatever you sense? If it can do this then it can watch thoughts. But, to me, I have yet to find this spiritual relationship. Where does it sit? Does it reside in the heart? Or does it reside in the brain? Or is this open hearted and good hearted stuff just an attribute of this ego or personality?

To me, it seems that you have created this life with affliction and demons. You keep fighting because this is all you have known. So much so that this has become your Karma. You wrote this story. So, where do you go from here? It would seem that you really need an experienced teacher to work with you and guide you out of this self-made prison. I am sorry if that sounds harsh. But, I am like the madman in the desert looking for the Oasis. I know it is there. Just haven't found it yet. I wish you well.

There is a very good chance that you have spent a great deal of time and effort learning and building this knowledge of the Dharma. So much so that it has become like a brick house. Each lesson or brick laid in place and cemented to stand the fury of the outside winds and rains. But, as everyone knows, it is the empty space which provides us we a living area. You have mentioned creeping vines which to me were thoughts which creep in while one is trying to just sit. And it has shown me my own creeping vines. These things are the remains of what is left fighting to be ego. A self saying to itself, I am here, sitting quietly. This I is the watcher and the doer of not doing. This I prevents one from dropping this mind and moving forward to cross the stream. It is like another trap the mind has created. I am here. I am aware. The mind created this I which is keeping me separate. So, if one drops the mind then the illusion drops away and the absolute appears? Does one see the truth that this is temporary? That there is no need to cling to pleasure or pain? But, this is life and to drop the mind and feel the heart? There may not be happiness but there should be a lightness? Yes, not a Buddha, nor enlightened, nor even a good student. This I understand from my own experiences. Happiness, yes, but no need to hold it. Sadness, yes, but no need to push it away. Just space for things to arise and go away. I think you know much more than your words show.