angstg

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Everything posted by angstg

  1. I had posted earlier in 2020. I have achieved a new power now. I can control rain and clouds. I can attract heat or cold with regards to my own practice. I have become the Rainmaker. But to achieve this power was not easy. It took me 8 years. I have some more powers but it should be kept hidden. I guess I have become a Buddha. Thank you for reading.
  2. Nowadays I can control rain.

    @Cleansox āyusaį¹…khāra ossaji. @freeform The world is different now. All technology and new science stuffs, however the ancient path remains the same. The real thing is when Buddha said, "you can remove suffering," he meant, "you can remove suffering not only from you, but from the whole world." That's how this practise works. "Ceasing to do evil, Cultivating the good, Purifying the heart."==> this is the exact root concept the practitioner should embrace while doing tantra, but most of the time when practitioner is lay the opposite happens. It is more complex and a mere words cannot explain, sometimes you need to practise it all by yourself. You need to remove suffering not only from the self but from the whole world.
  3. Nowadays I can control rain.

    @Cleansox Yes, still focusing on retention, since 2013. I would rather say a path of tantra than just "semen retention" and it is a tricky path, and you need to treat it with many different other techniques. However, it is the root path that awakens the superpower only if you do it correctly. First, it starts with the realization of "Nibbana" which I experienced last year. But it is the lay realization. I am not joking, to write a false statement goes against my principle. The path is harmful only if you do it in the wrong way. But all those wrong methods will act as a ladder to the right method. I believe I am the only power walking this earth, there could be others too, but their powers are inferior. I would like to write one more thing that first you need to accomplish the basic practice before acquiring anything. It is the same power that Padmasambhava realized at Yanglesho cave. "Powerful spirits caused a three year drought, with famine and disease, and Padmasambhava asked his teachers in India for a teaching to counter them." It is the same power that Shakyamuni Buddha realized after awakening. "Then the thought occurred to me, 'This Alara Kalama is wise, competent, intelligent. He has long had little dust in his eyes. What if I were to teach him the Dhamma first? He will quickly understand this Dhamma.' Then devas came to me and said, 'Lord, Alara Kalama died seven days ago.'" (and Uddaka Ramaputta died last night.) Things are deeper, you cannot grasp its knowledge easily. To understand what I have written, or to understand the attainment of such superpower, or to understand the ancient text, you need to practice it yourself and see yourself. I have nothing to write anymore.
  4. Nowadays I can control rain.

    @freeform I believe you have not thoroughly scrutinized my previous post. It is difficult for you to believe such things and that's why some knowledge should be kept hidden from the laypeople. I am not here to increase your wealth, however, my power is related to control the elements of earth, and basically, I can control rain or fire with my will. It is really easy to mock, but you have not seen my trial and error, my practice, and how I end up achieving this state. It was not easy. Anyway, thank you for your reply. Edit: I even believe such power had been practiced by Tibetan ascetics. This is the final form after 6 dharmas of Naropa. The hidden knowledge which mankind has yet not found.
  5. Nowadays I can control rain.

    @freeform I am sorry to inform you that I am the one who is causing all the wildfires across this world. I will not stop it anytime sooner. Too much evil in the world. Need some time to wipe out all.
  6. hi, can you please dm me. I have to talk with you about an important issue.

  7. I don't know how to explain this. If this was said to me some five years ago, when I had not done semen retention, I would call them directly crazy. Some very strange things have taken place in my life. Right after ejaculation great suffering follows me. In my mental state I am completely fine but what happens is people who surround me, family, friends, neighbors, people on news(in my country), everything suffers. This has not happened only once. I don't remember exactly when this phenomenon started to come in cycle. Now it has happened more than I could count. I stopped thinking about it, but it follows, even if I forget or try to live a normal life. Here are some repeated phenomenon that occurs after the loss of sexual energy: Same people contacting me or coming to my house after relapse. (i even see this phenomenon in facebook, people sharing posts and updating status.) Neighbor having a fight and attacking each other. Hearing news about car accident and someone dying or bus accident and a group of people dying all at once (my streak goes from 20- 30 days and in those periods of time no such phenomenon happens. Exactly after 4 days everything stops or I don't see them happening until I relapse) New problem arises in the mind of my parents and they have a negative discussion as well. Everything changes. Also, I feel that those people who are unawakened, or those who walk on everyday life as normal beings, are affected. Sometimes positively as well. My analysis is that we all have our perception. Retaining seed makes one individual's perception a lot stronger that it bends reality. All people near you, people in your imagination, everything that is related to you is affected once you relapse. There is no escape from it. Bad luck is mandatory after relapse. Also, what I have found is that retaining seed stops some event from happening and as soon as you relapse those events will follow. Like today I got stock dividend from the companies I had invested on. And all other events followed me one by one. My only question remains is how and why this is happening? Is retaining seed making me live in another dimension that as soon as I relapse earthly things follow me? Or is there something vaguely unknown energy on work? I don't want this to happen. I want things to go in a smooth flow, not relapse changing things and making many event happen. I know some of you have not experienced this. (because maybe you have not still awakened your sexual centers, or whatever through lots of force retaining) But I know some of you have experienced this exact phenomenon. Please comment your experience. Your explanation would be helpful as well.
  8. @mark Limbo state is such a state where there comes a pause. No events follow the practitioner. No good events, no bad events. To tell you the truth, I have not gone beyond this state. At first 'hell state' follows as in the moment after a relapse, everything that I have explained above. Then 'heaven state' follows. The hell ends, there is no mental torture, guilt, shame, or anything. Sometimes there is remainder of heaven state that has to finish then comes a hell state. After some time then comes a limbo state. Where your presence is not a presence nor the absence. You live in between. The affair of the world is on one side, you on the other side. It's like you are not in this world anymore. If your energy at this time is strong then it also reflects in the outer world. I have not gone beyond this. At the very moment, I am entering in such a state. However there is bliss, there is warm heat in the stomach, the spine seems to be breathing and mind in a calm state. We should not and never engage in lust when such a state comes, else 'hell state' arises again. Thank you for asking this question, the explanation can seem vague but can only be understood by the self-practice. @EmeraldHead Nofap thread. They only go for 2,3 days and relapse. I have stopped visiting that subreddit for long. Also, I have stopped visiting other semen retention related subreddit since late 2019. My experience comes from longer streak with extreme will, extreme cold shower everyday (sometimes thrice), and extreme purification through lust (I know it sounds ironic, but there comes a time when you have to withdraw from such lust, and only focus on lust that is created from within not without, and then drop that too), maybe that is why my relapse has higher impact. However, at the very moment, I am refraining again to talk such a thing. Because it is the nature of practice itself, as the days pass by, I lose interest in such stuff, like I am slowly transcending to another consciousness. Thank you for your knowledge about Sambogakaya and Nirmanakaya, that is new to me. I was searching about relapse phenomenon yesterday, and got something from another religion. Let me share that with you here, it wrote: 'The teshuvos Maharsham (7:26) quotes the Zohar that masturbation is worse than all other sin. The teshuvos P'nei Yehoshua says that it is like murder. The Maharal in Be'er HaGula (Be'er sheni perek tes) says that it is worse than murder.' The important point to remember here is that in all religions masturbation is in fact a greatest sin. It is my own sin that bad things happen to my own perception of inner and the outer. However, let it be, I am not focusing on such stuff now, at the moment I am euphoric from my own practise **************** One more thing, since my last relapse I have been more serious about my practice. I only used lust energy for the first 4 days or so and then I dropped it off. Now is the time to transcend. The energy seem to build up in my stomach already and been slowly moving up. This part of the retention journey is the best part. No more lust, no more thoughts, just pure euphoria. Also, now when I close my eyes I see lots of vivid images like in a dream. And my dream seems to be like my reality. Cheers. Love and Kindness. Good days are coming. Peace.
  9. @freeform 6 years and I have not gone into such hungry ghost states that you have mentioned. I feel younger than I was in 18. I could write 1000 words in 10 minutes. You said I do not have the ability to sink my QI but the thing is I did not do anything. I do not do anything. All I did was retain my semen. Semen is only meant for procreation and I tried to save it as much as I can. Things like jing and other energy built by itself. All the sensation on my spine, all the current on my tongue, all the lights on my forehead. All happened automatically, once I truly retained my semen. And yes, I played with lust energy but that energy also arose by itself. My sole belief was to save semen. Other things took care of itself. Now I do not understand why I need Guru if my purpose is to save semen. Guru: ā€˜Just donā€™t masturbate.ā€™ Me: ā€˜Okay, I have been doing that for a long time. Thanks for your time.ā€™ Yes, I would rather die than to ejaculate mindlessly. My all loss of this energy was through conscious effort. I cannot do anything unconsciously or knowing that this action will lead to destruction. Other than that I can understand that heart palpitation and other things happened. Sometimes it was hard, but the thing is life is hard itself. I did not let anything consume me. You wrote: 'where one's lust corrupts the purity of the heart - one would look to similarly corrupt the purity and innocence of other people with one's lust...' Things I want to clarify here is that lust is not impure energy. There is no such thing that is pure or impure energy in heart, but intentions. Remember we are made of very sex energy. The only thing is to not let this energy fall down. We, humans, are made from this lust energy and it forever remains with us like gravity that exists in a law of nature. For now and for the whole these years I am focusing on one knowledge that losing semen leads to my downfall and the outer world. Also, now the sensation of lust starts giving me immense energy. But I refrain from it, only work under certain conditions. Other than that I will tell you one incident. There was a time 4 months ago when there was strong lust energy inside me with Day 21 of retention energy. I went to one hotel, there the electric bulb (which was on a row) turned off. Then I went to my friendā€™s house, there too such a thing happened. I donā€™t know about this. But there is one long sign that I have yet to ponder on about such an electric phenomenon. For now, I am only pondering on why people are dying after a relapse. Anyway, for my whole life, I have been alone. Like so alone, Milarepa inside his cave. For 6 months during cultivating my retention energy, I did not move out of the house. Now for me, it is the same if I go outside or if I live inside. However, the external world means nothing to me, I am trying to find out the relation of the human body with the outer world. However, thank you for the message, I am still in the raw phase as I said earlier. Here, we are deviating from the core subject, and yet trying to convey a message. @Cleansox Damp heat and phlegm only happened in the first two weeks of the journey. Yes, it affects the heart and unbalances the mind. That is where extreme cold shower comes into play. I said I will not stop and I do not need a teacher unless I have morals because nature functions under a certain law. Just like gravity, and all phenomena in nature, it is the law of moral this sex energy functions. I have found this by changing my inner intention and how the universe responds. However, I have not found the first cause that makes this happen. I have not found why the universe punishes us after the loss of semen. You said to me that I have read some Grotto thread. No, I have not. I would look into it but I know they would go against the nature of retaining. The most important knowledge we humans need to have for now is that not everybody can retain semen. The journey is hard itself, and it is mandatory to follow the less restricted path. @Sudhamma You said those people whom you do not know have no karmic link with you. Once I was on a long streak. That day I lusted too much. There was a work of mine to go to a bank which I would go often to deposit and withdraw my money. The thing is thatā€“ā€“ that day the event of me going to the bank happened just after I relapsed. I said to myself, ā€˜well, too much lust in my body, I need to lose this.ā€™ Also, it was the year 2018 where I was not convinced about the effect in the outer world after my loss of semen. This thing is very private and I do not share with anybody, well I wish to write on this here, however. So what happened is that I lost my semen that day and right after 10 minutes I went to a bank. Things were going normal. And all of a sudden this happened. A girl in a counter who gives and takes money suddenly acted in a very rude way. ā€˜Sign here,ā€™ she said, ā€˜remove the date, and put another,ā€™ she said. Everybody was looking at me. She said those things in a very rude and loud voice, and that was not how someone would treat her customer. Then I thought itā€™s normal and again she repeated, ā€˜donā€™t you even know how to write a date?ā€™ Damn, I thought and acted politely and said, ā€˜could you please say such things in a good mannerā€™ There was a debate kind of, and I thought that I am again stuck in this web of events. I think itā€™s karma and samsara, however. Keep in mind that no such things happen to me in a long streak. This was one event, and after that my life also spiraled down for another week. There was a turmoil I could remember. Ignoring all these things I started my practice again. Such things and events always question me, all these anxiety and aggression of the world grows stronger after the loss of sexual energy. Also, that was one event. There are many such events like I would see fights on a street, I would see scooter crash, I would see the fight of my neighbor, I would see a gas explosion, I would see a plane crash, right after my relapse. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. And that is why I am trying my 100 percent to have a very moral life to prevent such things in the world. I know it sounds insane, but it is not. And that is why I came here to ask. But I think people have not experienced such a thing here. Maybe people are still in the path of darkness. I am sorry, but all my words are very true, and I am not deviating to another views. @ilumairen I read your comments on this thread, and you have written about six lokas or realms. I think this is real. However, I also think there are only 3 such states. (i) Heaven state where all things go as per your wish. The world is effortless and there is no negative things that surround us. (ii) Hell state. This is a pure hell state. Nothing works as per the self. There are all difficulties. Even the neuron inside our brain goes against it. (iii) Limbo state. Where nothing happens. You become invisible to the world. However, this is just my speculation. One thing I want to tell is that during my hardcore retention streak I would shift such states. I have not written about this because this might cause confusion. In a simple understanding, on my long streak, I would meet certain people. After a relapse, I would meet certain people who are very different from the people I meet in a long streak. And these same people would appear again and again according to my retention streak. Sometimes I would also call them as a higher and lower being. The higher and lower being would never meet or cross each other. Whenever I had a much higher streak, with enough sexual energy, I would find myself surrounded by such higher people or people who are completely opposite from the lower being. And as I relapsed these people would stop talking to me and the old lower being would contact me. These events also fall into my pattern. Maybe the destruction in the outer world also relates to such a realm. It is that I created a higher realm, and as soon as I dissipated my sexual energy, the higher realm begins to dissolve and so such destruction happens. And as I live in a lower realm for some time, this too needs to get destructed when I shift myself to a higher realm. However, thatā€™s just my experience. The other thing I would want to write something very out of the topic to you. I do not know if it sounds insane or not. Do you remember the two teachers of Buddha, Uddaka Ramaputta and Alara Kalama? This is my own theory that after going through long meditation streak, Buddha had achieved some power of shifting dimensions. And it was sure that bad events followed him after his loss of sexual energy, which in fact killed his two teachers. I know this sounds insane, but during that period of time, the human population was very low. And as soon as he wants to teach such a path to his two teachers, he hears a news that both have died. Sounds eerie. This too is a reason that loss of sexual energy is considered the greatest misconduct in Buddhism. However, that is my theory which I want to share with you. ******* To everyone, I want to write one more thing. Please do not have views. Needing a teacher is a view. However not needing a teacher is also a view, itā€™s better to not think about the teacher. I am also writing this after reading answers from @anshino23 and @Cleansox , All the four points you mentioned here is the view on working of retention. ā€˜Practitioner can be too young, or too oldā€™, ā€˜practitioner lack foundation skillsā€™, or ā€˜why is a person drawn to a practiseā€™. Practitioners just practice. In my retention journey, I have also found that such views also act as a blockage of the flow of energy. Once the views are strong, there would be a stuck of energy. I would like to say please deconstruct such a thing. When the self is not distracted with ideas and views, the inner power starts to rise. Thank you for reading.
  10. I thought you were serious about me. I don't understand why you are deviating away from the subject. I could sense secrecy. I am talking about retention practice, events, and things that come with it, while you are simply talking about pigeons and circumlocution? I have no intention of talking in vague, this experience itself has been such. If I write my heart out and you consider it as vague then I have nothing to add. However, please understand that I am not staying in a state of nonchalance. This energy inside me fuels me a lot. Nobody dies from circumlocution. Have you read Fyodor Dostoevsky's novel? I am inspired by him. However, I have no motive for drawing people towards the wrong line. Also, if a mere self-help knowledge could have satisfied me, I would have googled and stayed in a Youtube. However, thank you for your idea of being silent and just observe, like go with the flow kinda. I will try to understand what this is. Also, nowadays when I keep on putting my tongue there, I feel something in my frontal lobe. It's interesting and sometimes light flicker there when I sleep. However, these things will go once after relapse and will slowly build again. Will try to know about this. I read what you wrote. First I will not write detail about Samaya because my topic is not that. However, Samaya means time as well. With all my knowing and self understanding, it's real meaning has been hidden in tibetean Buddhist context because of its misuse. The other thing, I am not a monk and that is true. A little bit of thing I want to write on 'monk' is that monks believe in lots of wrong views. Praying, eating only vegetable foods, or simply avoiding lust will get us nowhere. Ignoring lust makes the energy stuck, rather embrace it. About energy flow, I have now felt such energy go up in my head as well. I have written about it on my previous post. It happened during 1 am. You said me to stop the practise, but for me it is all about to see what lies beyond. I will not stop and I think I do not need teacher unless I have moral. If death comes then I shall embrace it. There was a moment where I thought I would die as well, like heart palpitation and at one time energy shooting very strongly up once again inside from back of my spine. It's like it needs to be tamed and treat it very carefully and strongly. You also said that my leak won't cause harms to others. Well, that was one idea which I believed. Now 100s of happening has proved me that in fact it does harm others. That is why I came here to ask. Why it is harming others? Else this whole topic should have been only for me. I would never share here. I know that people die all the time, but such thing has not happened or such thing I have not heard in the news on my long streak. It's like I create a field of Aura and nothing enters there. And as soon as I loose my sexual energy, I have to perceive. Maybe such events do not come in my perception when I am in longer streak. This includes, reality, digital world and dream world. But with my relapse, all these world start to suffer, and suffer greatly. If there is something more please let me know. You can reply here or dm me. Thank you. Will look into it. **** Thank you again, for reading.
  11. This is the only best answer I have found for now. Thank you. I am going offline now.
  12. I need an explanation because my whole point could be just an assumption. It is on the raw phase. I do not know why is this happening. There are lots of people who lose their semen every day. Also, lots of tantric practitioners, but why me? Or am I the only one who is practicing this truly? I think some experts could guide me on this, and if there is something more, I would be happy to get the light. I am just writing my journey here, I am not explaining why.
  13. I was unaware of term 'Samaya' at first. Then I researched about Tantra and came to know about this word 'Samaya.' Thing is lots of religion hides many things and sometimes make a simple thing too complex. According to Tibetan Buddhism or Lama or their practise, breaking Samaya has to go through the 14 terms: 1.disrespecting the vajra master 2.transgressing the words of the buddhas 3.insulting oneā€™s vajra brothers and sisters 4.abandoning love for sentient beings 5.abandoning the bodhichitta in aspiration or application 6.criticizing the teachings of the sutras and tantras 7.revealing secrets to those who are unworthy 8.mistreating oneā€™s body 9.abandoning emptiness 10.keeping bad company 11.failing to reflect on emptiness 12.upsetting those who have faith in the teachings 13.failing to observe the samaya commitments 14.denigrating women The above things came through research. But that was simply a made-up thing to control students. They have hidden the real 'Samaya'. However, I have found that it is the moment of long semen retention streak which is called Samaya. That is my understanding through own experiment which also comes in number 5 above: that is .abandoning the bodhichitta. Bodhicitta is in fact 'semen' in Buddhism. So, it is my own analysis with the term. Nothing new. Also, I have found on internet : These are the warning signs of broken samaya: various misfortunes arise, diseases are rampant and harmful, various contagious diseases occur, and there are also provocations and misguiders. If one is killed, one becomes a hell being. Oneā€™s eyes cannot see form. One cannot hear and oneā€™s work cannot be done. Leprosy and blistering diseases arise. Thieves and royal punishments occur. One contracts contagious diseases others do not get. Oneā€™s sons and daughters die. The whole country arises as oneā€™s enemy. Oneā€™s activities become completely pointless. When such warning signs arise, recite a confession as previously explained. If confessions are recited, then these signs will be successfully averted. I think that relates with my practise. That's why I used word 'Samaya'
  14. Before going offline, one thing I want to write is that I have been in a state of lust very strongly. I lusted so much that I could not even explain. I would sometimes wake up three times at night and think 'is this path worth it?' I lusted very crazily. And then there came a day where lust completely dissolved itself. Like the same feeling you have on Day 0. How can lust so strong that could kill me disappear the other day? I found out that it moved up. After some period of time I could also feel this energy like some other being inside my body. And after some time I found that the more I lust, the more this energy starts to build then move through the spine. Too much lust surely leads to relapse, but the right amount and it's a bliss. The only thing that differentiates me and the other Semen retainer is that how I work with lust and intention. With balancing these two, we have to work on morals. But remember if you can conquer the lust and move up to the chest area, which it does after 72 hours, that is my time, and it takes furthermore time to move. No matter what happens do not let that lust energy fritter away. Thank you for reading.
  15. Not way over my head. I am in full awareness. I am trying to understand the science behind sexual energy. There is something surely. I just cannot grasp it fully. With time passing by new things would fall on my path. The stopping of Karma just started a year ago. I am trying to do this thing very very seriously. Also, I am beginning to understand why Buddha said, 'Save all beings through this path."
  16. Vows? I think I take Semen Retention journey very strongly and play with lust energy. But do not let lust consume me, but sometimes it slip.
  17. I do strong moral training. I don't let my intention fall even after lust have consumed me or even after I loose my sexual energy. I refrain from intention that leads me to fall. I have come to the realization that lust and intention is the strongest thing a man could possess. Other than that cold shower everyday, like every single day. No books, never read Mantak Chia. I only do semen retention and other things like breathe and meditation happens automatically. When retaining my mind is not drawn to sexual stimuli, sometimes I edge but I try very strongly to retain semen. Once there was a incidence that sex energy was so strong, blood came out when I was pooping. However, I continued. That was in the beginning of the journey. Nowadays, I focus on my intention. Like not telling myself that 'looking porn is good, sex is necessary, or masturbation is good, or orgasm is okay.' I work on these things and path goes smoothly, however sometimes strong lust hit me and relapse happen. The lust so strong that if there was death i would choose death.
  18. Also, the other thing I want to add is that, nowadays when I put my tongue behind my front teeth, I feel very strong current like sensation. Like electricity running through my upper front teeth (a place where the gum meets). It is 24 hours. I have not stopped taking cold showers, which I do everyday. It is also 5 years of cold shower, I have not taken hot showers once in these 5 years. It's weird but I see a lot of rain and clouds where I stay. It's summer but it's raining.
  19. I will try to explain things in detail. When the first time I read somewhere that not giving our self to the loss of sexual energy, there would come many benefits. Also, somewhere I read that it would bring female attraction. Well, I was naive but my determination was true. It was the year 2013 and I started my practice. At first, it was very hard, like blood and death, I could not overcome the immense amount of sexual energy which I had dissipated for years and years before. My hands would shake and the lust would eat me. At that time, when I was not in such a practice, I had a different life. I had girls, friends, college, groups, and all material things, but I had to chase them, I had to go after them, I had to drool and beg, and talk, like I am in the opposite side of the binary. If world was sun then I was the shadow. The year 2014, the whole year I tried and failed, tried, and failed. My mind was still in the periphery where I craved a lot. Somehow, one time I went beyond Day 10, and saw something that I had never seen in my life. Females would start to give me foods, they would make excuses to talk with me, new girls would come to me and ask my name, the other girl would post on my FB wall without my consent, and all stuffs. This thing had never happened in 27 years of my life. Now I am 33. The year 2015, my practice began more and more determined. I used to look dark, but my face started to look bright and more white. Remember, that before I went to beyond day 10, after that I had a relapse sometime later, and yes everything stopped. I said that was just a coincidence. That could be not true. Nothing happened till 4 days after relapse, then I would start my practise again. Everytime I went beyond day 10 with semen retention practise something new would happen in my life, like suddenly a girl would come again and things would fall into places in my life. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. From then on, I made a vow that whatever happens I will never relapse or lose my semen retention practise. But somehow after 2 weeks or 3 weeks, I would fall into a trap of relapse and start my journey again. Things were still going in a normal and like everyday life, I had not seen bad effects or bad events after relapse. The year 2016. This year something started to change. I suddenly felt a heat inside my belly. A warmth feeling that would move in my whole body, then night when I sleep I would feel this hot/cold kinda energy slowly creeping up. I still feel this energy at the time of my writing. Then, everytime I knew where this energy is in my body. It specially resides in spine and a part of spine always felt warmth or something piercing me. The more days I went the more up this energy went but never beyond neck. The other thing is that, since this year the effect had become a little more stronger after my relapse. I went to Day 20 and relapsed with a sex and the very same day I would see a fight in the street. I went to day 12 and relapsed and the very same day I saw accident on streets. I went to day 20 again and relapsed and I would see the same events happening. Whenever I went smooth in my retention practise, I would see no such thing. I somehow, inside my head, had started to see this pattern but still ignored. I thought okay just a coincidence. Don't relapse. The year 2017. This year I practised my retention journey with very cold shower. However, I used to take cold shower since year 2015, from this year I started to take everyday. Everytime I felt lust I would take cold shower twice or thrice. This year I also felt the energy even more strongly. One night during this year, I was sleeping, and something happened. A very strong energy shoot my head at night during 1 am. I felt kind of bliss, like in deep meditation. The day after this, one girl whom I liked asked me to give her a ride. Another girl called me again. The attraction hit the roof. However, I did not care. Also, something very peculiar happened was that people would gaze me in my eye like they have seen some angel or something. The way they would look at me with eyes wide open. Like in that movie Perfume: the story of a murderer, people would look at him when he wore it. Everything in the universe started to act weird too. Yes, and if I relapse at day 30, I would see accidents the very day, if I relapsed at night, things would happen the day after. One day on my strong SR journey on Day 18, one guy came and said if you need any help tell me. These kinds of things would happen very often in high retention streak. If I went to buy something in a restaurant, a manager would come and help me and do all things. I felt very strange. After the year 2017, things would go even weirder and weirder. At some point in my streak in 2018, I felt the whole universe pause. Like there is no more karma. Things also stopped happening in my life. Whether good or bad, nothing would happen in my retention streak. I thought I have hit something now. I bought a laptop from abroad from my uncle. But it did not arrive. The events in my life stopped happening. Then as I relapsed, the uncle came to my house delivering the laptop. It felt weird and the other day my other laptop broke. Is this life even real? I would buy stocks and my dividend would not come to me even after they have distributed. I seemed to stop my Karma in a long retention streak. Things would now stop happening to me. Then during this year 2018, I also felt strong aggression from my friends and family and from strangers. However, as soon as I relapse evil in this world would come a lot stronger. A very famous actress died the day after I relapsed, also numerous bad accidents start to follow the week after I relapsed, also in my own country I saw famous people like Minister's death after I relapsed. Also, it was during this time I started seeing '1111' everywhere. I felt like I was going mad. This could not even be real, all inside my head, but the data on my app, which I had saved after every relapse would say something else. The patterns became stronger. The year 2019, things would happen smooth and then my karma would totally stop, but extreme pain and suffering followed after relapse. This year on my every long streak universe seemed on pause. I could feel deep inside me. I continued my streak, although with little fail, this year proved me that this energy was real. Not a joke. Then on December 27 2019 I relapsed heavily. And you know what, Corona came into being. Also, after this time the famous basketball player died (a day prior I had relapsed). I started seeing unnatural death as well. One relapse could bring so much evil in the world and the change is permanent. My last relapse was on June 13 2020. I am trying to control myself as much as I can. Peace. My main goal for now is to make my heart extremely moral. I strive for the moral hood, but immoral things devour us all. Verse 117: If a man does evil, he should not do it again and again; he should not take delight in it; the accumulation of evil leads to dukkha. The Story of Thera Seyyasaka While residing at the Jetavana monastery, the Buddha uttered Verse (117) of this book, with reference to Thera Seyyasaka. Once there was a thera by the name of Seyyasaka, who was in the habit of masturbating. When the Buddha heard about this, he rebuked the thera for doing something that would lead one farther away from the attainment of Magga and Phala. At the same time, the Buddha laid down the discipline prohibiting such indulgence in sexual pleasures, i.e., Samghadisesa Apatti, offences which require penance and suspension from the Order. Then, the Buddha added, "This kind of offence can only lead to evil results in this world as well as in the next."
  20. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/everytime-i-masturbate-i-have-bad-luck-bad.html I found something here. But I need to know why is this happening.
  21. I do not understand, I am not taken seriously here. I have no intention of lying or anything. Why would I come here and post such thing, if I had to lie or if I had to hide things, I would have done somewhere else. I found no answer anywhere. I thought some esoteric teaching of Tao could help me. Not a lot of people in this world know about semen retention as well. The whole Tibetean Buddhism also hides such a thing. They call it 'Samaya' as a vow of celibacy and broken samaya brings a lot of downfall. But the thing is I am not to preach that here. I wanted to know if anyone has authentic answer for this phenomenon. Yes I have also felt all chakras in the body, like tingling sensation in my spine, and also a movement of energy up. If anyone here is serious please let me know why does my loss of semen brings suffering in the outer world. Just yesterday a famous actor died. I am not being narcissist. All the moments where I go without ejaculation, no such things would happen. And that's it, after one orgasm, I open evil in the world.
  22. I have a serious question

    Where can I ask about microcosmic orbit?
  23. I have a serious question

    I hope I am in the right place to ask things about Microcosmic Orbit. Also, I have lurked much and known about Jing, Qi, and Shen. Today I came here because I want to ask some peculiar things about MCO. It is surely the process of putting our tongue behind the front teeth and letting the flow open, isn't it? However, my question is much deeper. These things has never happened to me before. I started to conserve a lot of Jing inside my body by practicing absolute celibacy. After some year, MCO happened automatically. I felt sort of calm and in more deeper meditative state when I kept my tongue behind my front teeth where gum meets. Now my question is recently I have experienced sort of electric type of sensation. It is little strong electricity like when you put your tongue on a battery. What is this? Is such experience normal in MCO? Please help me. It took a lot of work to search and come here and ask this question. I have not found a word on this topic anywhere. I hope to get some good responses.
  24. I hope I am in the right place to ask things about Microcosmic Orbit. Also, I have lurked much and known about Jing, Qi, and Shen. Today I came here because I want to ask some peculiar things about MCO. It is surely the process of putting our tongue behind the front teeth and letting the flow open, isn't it? However, my question is much deeper. These things has never happened to me before. I started to conserve a lot of Jing inside my body by practicing absolute celibacy. After some year, MCO happened automatically. I felt sort of calm and in more deeper meditative state when I kept my tongue behind my front teeth where gum meets. Now my question is recently I have experienced sort of electric type of sensation. It is little strong electricity like when you put your tongue on a battery. What is this? Is such experience normal in MCO? Please help me. It took a lot of work to search and come here and ask this question. I have not found a word on this topic anywhere. I hope to get some good responses.