Tryingtodobetter

What is the best way to deal with persisting feelings of unreality?

 

Ever since i undertook an extended period of meditation years ago i have dealt with these feelings and perception, though it is only in recent time that i have realized just how long i have been experiencing this.

 

Im arriving on the other side of a tumultuous period where i was in and out of psychosis for the better part of the last 3 or 4 years, and in assessing what transpired during that time from a clearer perspective im finding that i have experienced profound feelings of unreality or derealization for almost a decade- every since i had begun serious meditation.

 

Now i know that a lot of this has to do with the illusory and malleable nature of reality itself, though i think its led me to some dark places in the past and is a large part of what is hindering me in certain arenas of life. 

 

Ive been trying to accept that i cant return to the way things were, the way things were before i started meditating and focusing on what is commonly held as the spiritual side of things- although im now of the opinion that that boundary between the mundane and spiritual life is nonexistent. In doing that ive been considering just giving myself to meditation completely because i dont see a way out of this at times unsettling perception, even though i am still unable to fully handle it with grace.

 

What can i do to deal with this?

 

I used to fetishize and consider the perception and some of its effects as special, as a kundalini something. I think part of it was a coping mechanism because my perception had suddenly shifted so drastically from what it was. 

 

I wish i had never ventured into the realm of meditative practice and just got on with my life in the best way i knew how at the time. It feels unneccessary and i havent found a use or application for many of the realizations ive arrived at since that time. I think the promise of peace and purity is what caused me to pursue meditation so seriously, a sort of escapist way of dealing with my problems at the time.

 

I dont think i am the only one dealing with something like this

 

Does it ever make you sad? It makes me feel sad and alienated from people i love and am close to, as if im living in a different realm- not even in a pretentious or arrogant way, in a way where i desperately want to go back and find myself unable to. I guess thats a big part of why im asking this question in the first place

What location can i go to that is of some semblance to hospice?

 

I no longer see any worth in my own existence or any promise of potential.

 

I dont wish to commit suicide at the moment as my last attempt ultimately failed and complicated matters further.

 

I had an on and off semi-functional psychosis spanning the last several years. In the past couple months i have just begun to step outside of it and it feels as though my entire world was violently ripped from my being. People, places and things are now gone or at such a distance as to be intangible. The very way i thought and interfaced with the world vanished almost overnight. I have never felt this empty or alone in my entire life.

 

I masturbated for the first time in about a year and feel slightly suicidal for doing so.

 

I no longer have any aspirations or goals.

 

I fear getting a job because the way my perception is now i wouldnt be able to hold onto employment for long.

 

Meditation is a causative factor of what initially spurred on my psychotic episode spanning years. Yet i contemplate returning to it as a sort of self flagellation. 

 

I do not want to be alive anymore.

I would like to retire early and permanently.

I would like to retire now.

 

I hold nothing against the world, i just no longer want to be here in any way.  

 

I have given up.

 

I wish you well

On 7/31/2020 at 7:31 PM, Rara said:

Yes, see what you get after you try the above. Hopefully it works oit for you. I might have some other ideas as to what's up/why it might not be a serious problem otherwise...that requires more of a Q&A about your lifestyle though.

 

I would like to hear your thoughts on the matter

For some reason I have been unable to sleep through a night for a while now.

 

Each night I wake up around two o'clock in the morning tossing and turning, and usually covered in sweat. Then I eventually fall asleep again, sometimes it takes a while.

 

Each morning I am unusually drowsy and have a hard time getting out of bed.

 

What can I do so that I can sleep through an entire night?  

 

Why do I keep waking up in the middle of the night?

I am experiencing, constrictions in my foot occassionally and electrical shocks on the left side of my body.

 

I reported the foot problem a while ago, and walking a distance has helped although i feel I'm walking in a lot of pain.

 

The electrical body and hand shocks have not subsided with exercise or meditation. Around my ear area too.

 

Are there any methods i can employ to remedy the aforementioned?

 

Also I'm having problems concentrating or feeling motivated to do much of anything. 

 

I could not attach an image though the veins in my left foot on the top are swollen. Also veins in my forearm appearing blue after what looked like a bug bite near my elbow.

 

There was a presence in my room peeling tape off of the wall one night and i didn't think to film it because i was disoriented. Also items were knocked over in the morning a few days afterwards. 

 

 

For years since I first attempted having a relationship, I feel as though I've been under spiritual attack.

 

From strange sensations around some of my energetic centers, to feeling as though I am being electrocuted, to feeling strange phantom touches on my hands, to items around the house going missing and reappearing, to household items having gone missing entirely, to my car moving where it was parked during the middle of the night when my key went missing.

 

Most of note a pain that I feel in my left foot that I have already made a detailed post about that was met with much mockery and derision, possibly unintentionally.

 

 

My stomach makes strange cooing amd deflating noises, as do the stomachs of some of the people I live with. At times a strange gurgling and rapid deflating sensation as though something were moving around or getting sucked out of it. It almost seems sentient. There is a strange intense burning sensation there when I have spoken to certain individuals on the phone and when I have been around them in public. I thought it might be diabetes, though doctors said my blood sugar was fine and I am a little sceptical of a group of adults suddenly developing diabetes around the same time.

 

Several years ago my main gmail account went missing and all of its secondary accounts, as well as other social media site accounts it was attached to. I had a number of things saved to it and logged into a number of online sites, a number of which seemed to change shortly after I lost access to the email account being addressed.

 

 

I feel as though I am under spiritual and/or technological attack at times and I am at a loss of who to seek for counsel.

 

Through patterns I have noticed on the internet it seems like someone or a small group of people is attempting to accuse me of practicing magic or something of the sort, though if that were true I would have defended myself and taken action against them already. 

 

 

Also things like fraudulent activity on my bank account a few years ago in another state when I was speaking with the second woman, and while I am not accusing her of anything- my life seemed to slowly destabilize once I began communicating with her.

 

 

One of the things I used to do to take my mind off of the overwhelming fear and paranoia was to play guitar. One day when I was on a creative streak I tried turning on my amp and it made harsh squealing noises, as if a person with money was beaming something into my room to scramble my digital amplifier.

 

There is more.

 

I would appreciate any and all advice, please and thank you

 

Several years ago when I was in a relationship with a woman who claimed to be from puerto rico and I was experienced strange bodily sensations I went to this forum to seek counsel.

 

After messaging him for help forum member named spotless told me that I had "a white mist floating in front of my stomach" and when I asked him to specify he said "Well, I thought you knew what that meant. Gotta go, see ya!"

 

Now, a few years ago I found myself having strange bodily phenomena and a spiritual/energetic crises of some sort when I began a relationship with another woman, although her words and actions caused me to question the validity and authenticity of the relationship. I once again consulted spotless for advice, this time he told me to ask jeff.

 

There has been a number of times I have encountered the name jeff in recent time. From seeking help from an acupuncturist named jeffery, which after the treatment I've found that my circulation is not what it was and I am unable to exercise with any regularity. Blood pools in my hands when I take relatively short walks about town, and I have veins showing in my right forearm constantly. Lost of memes with the name Jeffrey aswell, "my namea jeff". I received a dress shirt with the name geofferey bean on the tag. There is more.

 

 

Also during the latest crises I asked another member for advice and he told me to try focusing on complex objects such as orange cross-sections, leaf veins and mountains.

 

My entire conversation with the aforementioned member and spotless is missing from my inbox on this website.

 

 

*On a possibly unrelated tangent. Why did the creator of lone man pai change the slogan of his practices to "blood and honey"? I have seen a pattern of bear imagery over the last few years, even on trips to places. Some of the bear and bee imagery seems self-referential and it doesn't feel good*

 

 

Where did this preoccupation with the writings of carl jung arise from?

 

I've known a number of new yorkers who seem to favor his teachings.

Why did this forum change it's name from the Tao bums? 

 

 

On 12/3/2019 at 10:12 PM, Walker said:

 

I feel you. I don't think you did the wrong thing. I agree that he seems like a petulant venter, too. Two people close to me killed themselves, both suddenly and without any clear warning--everybody was shocked, especially with the second guy, who had been a radiant source of joy and enthusiasm in the life of everybody he touched, and as he was a generous person, he touched many! Others I have met (and worked with) who sound a lot like Tryingtodobetter strike me as more pitched towards energetic/emotional vampirism. They're suffering, for sure, but they've stumbled into a type of habitual malingering where attention and the stimulation that comes from putting people into a druthers with suicide threats becomes an addiction. That's quite possibly why he returned recently seeking another round of sympathy and care like he got in the (northern hemisphere) summer. Perhaps,  because addiction always requires an increase and diversification of dosages, he has added more angry lashing out, since causing fights also creates a thrill and puts the instigator at the center of attention. I tend to think that behavior like this reflects an underlying desire for cheap, easy dopamine and adrenaline hits, and not an underlying desire to truly change. A swift kick in the ass is probably what people in this rut need more than anything else. 

 

All that said, I still think it's good to be conservative with calling people's bluff, especially online, where it's all too easy to misread situations. We might be totally wrong about the guy! I have a person in my family who is high functioning autistic and I have heard him go on rants like Tryingtodobetter's many times. In my family we all know that he is, for lack of a better term, retarded (he lived in a slum in a war-torn country till he was four and was severely malnourished and orphaned; whatever genetic predisposition to autism he may have had was severely exacerbated by all of this, putting him at a severe disadvantage in life that no amount of therapy and medication and prayer will likely fully fix). Objectively we realize that it is almost impossible for him to change himself, but this does not make his rants less frustrating. The thing is, he's actually quite eloquent, and were he to show up on a message board, it might not be obvious that he's truly not playing with a full deck. And, as harsh as it may sound to say this, the fact is he is also dumb enough that he might cause himself physical harm if encouraged to do so, even by random online strangers in a web forum (petty arguments he has with his online gaming friends are enough to ruin his mood for a week). And that would be a tragedy, because as frustrating and seemingly senseless as he can be sometimes when he gets to ranting about how he's the worst human being on planet earth and should die, he's still a much-beloved and important human being. 

 

Final thought, though... lest it seem like I'm saying that disability or deep psychological torment is an excuse for abusive language, ingratitude, or attempts to start fights, I do not think it is. Even those at a huge disadvantage can and should be reminded to use decorum, gratitude, and circumspection. Anybody capable of tying his shoes is fair game for being firmly told not to be an irascible narcissist, in my books. 

 

 

Wise words. 

 

Would you use those colorful negative attributes to describe the ongoing sensations and shocks in my legs that respond to my thoughts, that have yet to slow down at all despite attempting different methods?

 

Would you use it to describe waking up feeling like I had been sodomized in my sleep by something electrical, and then for a few weeks having large pulsing electrical shocks in that region feeling like someone or something was messing with me?

 

Would you use it to describe all of the obtuse things that were said to me at the mental hospital? Would you use it to describe how my last gmail account was deleted and all of the captchas had "piss" in them which is odd for a company like google to do? Would you use it to describe how a guy at the mental hospital was yelling right in front of me about a hacker named "pee" something? Would you use it describe waking up in that hospital and feeling like I had been stuck with a needle and my current roommate walking over to me and whispering "sorry" and then walking out into the dayroom?

 

Would you use it to describe the pointed algorithm I saw on my youtube and facebook account? Where certain numbered and phrased posts, regardless of content/source, would be the first result and if I pressed "most recent" then suddenly my paranoid ideation/OCD disappeared? Would you use it to describe how i kept getting local ads from the city that woman was from despite me changing my location several times?

 

Would you use it to describe how I tried to commit suicide in a hotel room due to various perceived stimuli, and when I woke up from me failed attempt there was a pill or painkiller on my thigh that I didnt put there and the door to the hotel room was locked and chained? 

 

Would you use it describe all of the various synchronicity and/or "synchronicity" I've experienced? 

 

It wasnt a rant, despite what you or the pulses in my legs and shocks say. It was a plea for help because I thought that someone might be able to help or just understand. I dont even know your motive behind posting in this thread or even who you really are, the same i could say of the forum member "everything" and probably others, I dont know- some members have said unusually synchronistic things. It's not some joke or "just trying to make someone feel bad", I haven't been getting any answers so far from here or elsewhere so like I said im going to kill myself at the first opportunity.

10 minutes ago, Earl Grey said:

 

Dear Teenage Mutant Ninja Attention-Seeker:

 

We have experienced these sensations before. I have. I meditated right through it with the proper technique and right teacher. You're just not paying attention because you don't want to do the work or pay for it. 

 

Go get professional help--your insults, threats, and your tantrum are not going to get you far here, and so far have not gotten you anywhere with your own life. 

 

Compassion to you seems to be giving you what you want rather than giving you what you need. Spare yourself further aggravation and go get help and until then, you probably shouldn't be posting here, Reddit, YouTube comments, or other dark corners of the web.

 

Like I said. Your posts show a lot about your character, your opening is the summation of your responses

 

As if I hadn't already sought and applied the methods you suggested already.

 

As if the main person on this thread behaving from a place of total immaturity isn't you

8 hours ago, Walker said:

Yep,

 

Therapist is needed. If you do not have the money to visit one or you live in a very remote area or a country without many mental health professionals, I suggest reaching out to a suicide hotline and/or elders/mentors in your area.

 

ALSO,

 

Volunteer. A lot. The more the better. You need to feel needed. You ARE needed. There is SO fucking much on this planet that needs doing, and not enough people doing it, even though there are too many people. Ironic, eh? Greta Thunberg changed the world by sitting on her ass outside of the parliament. You're sitting on your ass not changing anything at all, not even your own circumstances. There are SO many people and SO many organizations you could be helping with your time and energy. AND you will reap the benefits of oxytocin, which you need desperately. 

 

Go.

 

Outside.

 

Help. Other. People. 

 

Bare minimum, kid: Help me and every one of us fuckers who is fretting on the Global Warming thread in the Rabbit Hole section. We're counting on you. Go. Now. 

 

You're either pretending, or you're not a very discerning person

 

You're either pretending, or have little working knowledge of the pervasive systems of orchestrated struggle and artificial scarcity 

 

You're either pretending, or you genuinely believe a teenager(child) found her way to being the mouthpiece for a powerful environmental party/organization by sheer will and capability alone, and not because she was essentially "manufactured" for lack of a better term

 

There aren't "too many people" in the world.

 

When I choose to help people, it's not for simply for the sake of a chemical release or whatever. Sometimes suicide is not from a place of sadness, depression, etc- sometimes suicide is a very logical solution to ones situation. 

 

As I said before, I'm not sure if you're pretending or not at this point. I guess I would ask the same about a few other people responding on this post, especially when looking into their responses and even my own

 

I wonder how many of the responses to this post were mostly projection if not entirely

It was for attention in that I thought someone here would be able to help me.

 

It's not a temper tantrum and it's not childish.

 

Ever since that night with the owls hooting I've had very palpable sensations in my legs and occasionally my body that respond to my thoughts. Left side for wrong or right side for right, I dont know the logic behind it with certainty- that seems to be it. It feels like something writhing under my skin akin to a light scrape with a finger nail and when it's not that it's like a low voltage shock or a deep pinch. I would dismiss it as a nutritional deficiency or a delusion, if it didnt persist throughout every day for well over a year and seem to have some sentience. 

 

I would meditate properly if it wasnt persisting during every waking moment for the last fucking year. How am I supposed to meditate for any given length of time, when I sit down and someone or something is zapping my legs the whole time.

 

It is happening while I'm awake 24/7. It is constantly happening. None of you are even addressing that, the reality of it. How is someone supposed to do much of anything when this is a constant? It's not some occasional thing or a waning emotion, it is happening constantly.

 

How the fuck am I not supposed to be suicidal, when nothing that anyone has recommended had worked thus far, and those replying with condescending bullshit about my attitude towards the situation when they dont have someone or something shocking their fucking legs and occasionally their body every fucking second of the day when they're awake.

 

Its constantly happening to me. It's not a troll it's not some teenage bullshit. I dont know if its supernatural harrassment or man made technology. 

 

Like I said, none of you deal with this. None of you deal with this. And next to none have responded to any of the more unexplainable nuances of my post. Like how when I attempted suicide and when I went to the hospital to get the wound treated they put in a medical honey as the nurse called it and when I have certain "paranoid" thoughts about certain situations/groups-people it sends a deep shock- just in the spot where she put it. 

 

Thank you for showing me how compassionate and understanding most of you Really are. I dont think I'm "unique" or whatever other aggrandized attributes you want to project. I'm not blackmailing anyone. I've already attempted suicide before, and like I said I'll choose a more sound method this time whenever an opportunity presents itself.

 

I'm going to kill myself. I'm sure someone who was being shocked and messed with all the time by someone or something would have no problem killing themselves, because what is the point of even being alive with that happening?! What is the point of living when every thing I even think about doing or even enjoying I get a response in my legs that pulses or shocks me depending on the thought?

 

Volunteering is going to stop the pains in my legs that respond to my thoughts? How, how is that going to help

 

Meditation is going to stop the pains in my legs that respond to my thoughts when they're constantly happening how could i possibly meditate properly? Is someone going to recommend a meditation involving imagining myself with butter melting on me?! Is someone going to recommend jesus or Catholicism?! Or some abrahamic or toaist whatever?! Is someone going to recommend qigong?! Is someone going to recommend gardening?! Is someone going to share some photo involving imagery counterintuitive to the plight ice outlined in detail?! Is someone going to recommend "the upanishads"?! Is someone going to recommend something that doesnt help?! Who knows right

 

What is this forum even

 

Suicide is a good answer to this problem. It's not childish. I doubt any of you experience what I do. You want to help me? Just give me something to kill myself with

17 hours ago, Earl Grey said:

 

If this is sarcasm, it's not funny. If this is serious, Free Will of course, but you sound quite childish throwing a tantrum rather than someone who is willing to put in the work without expecting immediate results since it's a lifelong process. 

Also, I would appreciate if you could specify what part of my reaction to the symptom I outlined in this post that I experience at nearly all times during waking hours is childish, for clarity

17 hours ago, Earl Grey said:

 

If this is sarcasm, it's not funny. If this is serious, Free Will of course, but you sound quite childish throwing a tantrum rather than someone who is willing to put in the work without expecting immediate results since it's a lifelong process. 

It's not sarcasm. I'm not a sarcastic person.

 

If you read my response previous to that I stated that the previous remedies suggested have done nothing to alleviate the situation/symptom I've outlined throughout the post, I'm not expecting immediate results- I was expecting progress/lessening of the symptom. If what I've outlined in this post is lifelong- though I doubt that amongst other things, as I stated I will kill myself in a sound manner at the first opportunity

 

I specified nuances of this situation and I've seen little to nothing on the internet about people experiencing similar

Thank you for all of your replies, none of the methods recommended have remedied the issue thus far, I will kill myself of course in a sound manner at the first opportunity

On 11/4/2019 at 3:56 PM, neti neti said:

The dream of life is its own meaning, no matter how meaningless things may at times seem to the dreamer.

 

Nightmares become realities by ignorance or suppression of life's everpresent, yet seemingly meaningless, reflected expressions... to include the divine image of an imagined self.

 

What else can I do beyond what's already been discussed? 

 

What do you think I am being ignorant of and/or what do you think I'm suppressing that caused certain things to happen, "nightmares", in the past? 

 

Is the attempted suicide wound where the nurse put "medical honey" that shocks me whenever I have polarized thoughts of paranoia about certain scenarios/people-groups also something that can be corrected by simply dreaming/thinking of something else?

5 minutes ago, Earl Grey said:

Even if you haven’t “in a long time” it is still affected by prior practice because the rewiring already begins on top of the awareness of the body being triggered by emotional states. A nuance that was attempted to be explained to you as stated earlier.

 

Sorry if I've offended you in some way

 

I didnt know things like this happened a year+ out of practice

 

I hope you have a good day

10 hours ago, dwai said:

All phenomena are a creation of your own mind. Find out the truth about the source of your mind and become free from such phenomena. 
 

These muscle spasms - are they painful or just surprise you when they happen? 
 

If they are painful and come with cramping you might have a potassium deficiency. If they’re not, just relax when they happen and see whether they subside.

 

The worst thing we can do under any circumstance is to resist what is happening. Resistance increases suffering. Stop resisting and relax when faced with such phenomena.

 

wrt owls hooting...why is that a bad thing? Owls are beautiful and magical birds - enjoy their nocturnal sounds. 
 

Don’t be afraid - nothing can hurt you if you are rooted in your own being. 

 

 

 

 

They are constant, I've gotten used to them- somewhat. It's a little destabilizing when just about every polarized thought you have causes that kind of reaction, and as of late it's often in "opposition" to what I'm thinking- or so it seems. I'm not really sure of the logic behind it whether the left side if wrong and the right side is good or vice versa.

 

There are the occasional shocks which are like a deep pinching and electrical shocking sensation simultaneously.

 

I've tried a bunch of things, this is my last resort as feeble or contrived or vague as it may seem to some.

 

I found the owl presence unnerving because I'd yet to encounter them in such a way. The faucet running for no reason and the appearance of the pulses/shocks probably shaped that perception.

 

I will work on trying to uncreate the circumstance

 

11 hours ago, Zork said:

Considering that the OP has side-effects from training or qi deviations and you aren't helping at all, his reactions are modest.

The OP isn't listening. The side effects will subside if he keeps training. Insisting of having a "fix" aka getting rid of the "symptoms" now will only create more problems.

All this provided that the OP is honest and not hiding any important details.

 

 

I havent practiced any meditative or qi based practice for a long time. 

 

This started about a year ago. I would be more than willing to write it off as some stree based phenomena is I was really stressed and that the pulses/tightening and ocassional shocks didnt respond to my thoughts/actions, all the time. Left side could be wrong/bad and right side could be good/right, I dont know really. 

 

I asked the question here because I thought it could be a spiritual or energetic- thing. I dont mean to come off as inattentive or arrogant, it's just that most responses seem to be completely overlooking the nuance I tried to include in my original post.

 

I will try meditating again, even though I haven't in a really long time.

 

Thank you for the responses and concern

On 5/13/2019 at 2:31 PM, Starjumper said:

 

If you and this person were lovers, then there is an energetic link made that exist no matter the distance nor what you think or wish.  I've read in several places that this link lasts for seven years, and the only way to cut it is to find a real shaman who can see the link and break it for you.  I had a volunteer here who went through that recently and she said that after that she felt more energetic.

 

How do I perform a ceremony alone and without seeking out another for help?

 

I thought we were in a relationship, tho she was just using me

 

I would like to completely sever any connection we have and her influence on my life, as well as the influence of some others- particularly whoever or whatever is behind the strange sensations and shocks in my legs that respond to my thinking/actions

On 5/20/2019 at 1:53 AM, Spotless said:

There are many ways to do what you are asking - the burning paper idea does work on some levels. You can also simply postulate that the agreements that brought you together and that have found you in separation are finished - as in the contracts you had between yourselves is now finished - you can write this down on the paper and burn it.

 

If this is done in resistance it will be far less effective than if it is done in simple no effort.

 

You can repeat the process for 7 days.

 

In so doing you are releasing the both of you energetically.

 

If there is something to forgive - greet forgiveness without willfulness and a kick in the behind. Drop it - simply drop it.

 

If you are one to visualize things - close your eyes and imagine you sitting across from the person.  First simply sit with this image and notice any resistance in your physical and energetic bodies that come to pass from sitting across from this person and breath into it and feel the tension dissolve or fall away. Do this until you feel you are not IN resistance.

 

Now imagine that a table appears between the two of you and it has a bowl of fire gently burning. Imagine that any agreements you still have with the person are floating over and dropping into the bowl - and notice that as those agreements go into the burning bowl some energy floats out in vibrant neutrality and some of it goes back to you and some of it goes back to the person across from you. This is the life force that you both had in those agreements. You are both getting it back in Present Time.

 

Address yourself within and know you are spotless - you have not been tarnished in any way. The person that is across from you is as you - spotless and untarnished. Rigidized patterns and held momentums brought you together and are released - releasing will ease over time. Give devotion to higher states - move on - forgive.

 

Be in the center of your bodies - take no side

 

I will try one of these tomorrow

15 hours ago, Earl Grey said:

Spasms in meditation are actually not uncommon. In the beginning, I, my peers, and some students all felt involuntary movements. Energy is being moved and it will eventually find stillness. Based on what you say, your emotional and mental trauma is expressing itself in a psychosomatic manner. With proper practice, it will eventually end. Keep at it and eventually as you physically shake trauma out it will lead to some stillness.

 

In our school, we accelerate the process through both proper golden flower seated meditation and Zhan Zhuang  in embracing position for example, but beyond that, it is best you consult with your teacher or those with seniority in the system of meditation you practice to help.

 

This didnt happen in meditation.

 

Did you read my initial post in full?

 

I'm wondering if you read it because you're talking about meditation and this didnt start happening in meditation, I provided decent context and none of it included meditation

This morning I feel them mostly in my feet. I also feel them occasionally in a sacr on my arm where a doctor/nurse put in a "medical honey" is what she referred to it as. She talked about transcendence and I asked her what her tattoo meant in her finger and she said "it means transcendence" and I responded that it was a fire sign, because it was the triangular alchemical symbol for fire

 

What do I do to stop the sensations i mentioned in my original post and this comment?

 

I am wondering why I am experiencing them and what the significance of the owls were. The sensations have been annoying me this morning. When i was initially going to read this post and clicked back I felt pulses in my left foot and even as I was typing this I keep feeling pulses in my right leg