Hannes

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About Hannes

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  1. In case anyone is interested. My wife compared my mental state to that of a pregnant woman; doesn't want to hear any of my prophecies/philosophy anymore and just decided to live in the moment. I have a lot to learn from her (something about let the left hand live in the moment and the right hand prepare for the future as it unfolds) Another thing that is funny is that a week after I started advanced yoga practice I got invited to a community who's founder also started with AYP. So beautiful is life, so intricate and divine. Grace be given.
  2. Chi, Qi or Love

    Welcome, Thank you for being.
  3. What's going on here?

    When I watch the first video I can't help but thinking about fractals (like Mandelbrot) In fact I was contemplating yesterday evening that if the universe is just a collection of energy vibrations in space-time following a quantum equation. It would mean everything is happening at the same time (in terms of consciousness). It would also mean that the time dimension we perceive as clock time would just be the measure of of causality that is the result of the solving (and direction) of the (mathematical) quantum functions and its collapse of (unmanifested) potential into causal time-space reality. There is some more to this; but I leave it at this for the time being -clock time I mean
  4. Why Follow Tao?

    To the first 3 statements: You can only chose to lead your own life. You can chose to grow into being yourself and align yourself with Tao (under any other name) to grow. Or you can stay who you are, rust in place and stagnate and decline. To the last 3 statements: You chose to give because giving is receiving. There are no unilateral transactions. Follows: receiving is giving. I have not yet met a rock that is indifferent; even a single hadron has a will. Indifferent things don't manifest. But if you refer to a state of mind, know that you are fooling yourself. Why follow Tao? you cannot follow Tao. You can only realize Tao. Be aware of it. Being aware if what some called being efficient in posts above. Which you accomplish by Taoism or many other paths which are in fact all similar.
  5. What to say when one kills an ant?

    I eat meat to sustain myself and I have no problem killing an animal to feed myself. I would chase away / kill an animal to defend myself. Ants don't take hints well, so they learn by example: die in my kitchen, be prosperous is my garden.
  6. Are Secrets Really Necessary . . . (?)

    This is one of the most beautiful things I ever read here.
  7. I don't really know why I'm making this post. Maybe I need help understanding what we are. Maybe it is to show how beautiful something can be when two open hearts come together. Or maybe it is just to solve issues. I met my wife almost 4 years ago. I traveled 4000 miles into the unknown and landed in her house since she rented out a room for AirBnB. Short story. She was seperated for 4 years from her husband and didn't date. Someone asked if she wanted to go to a party, and if he could just drive her. "What could be the harm" she said. Well they didn't make it to the party.. Carcrash.. she broke her ribs. The next day I arrived in her house. We met and I took care of her for 3 months. There was an instant connection, like we knew each other for ages. It felt surreal. In retrospect it felt like we where both in a fugue state or something. We started talking and never stopped. I saw through her essence and felt how she really is. If you ever heard about twin flames (from those new age books). It felt like that. Including the age age difference. She is 28 years older than me; although people that see us together don't seem to notice it. It's like our energy vibrates together. Even stranger, there is some feeling in me that I feel like a father towards her. I call her my little girl. Now four years later. I still love her, love her even more. I love her so much it impedes me from being myself. From the other thread people might know that I had parathyroid issues followed by something like an opening of the hearth (chakra). Past pains resurfaced; and I remember never been young, only been small. At least that's how I phrase it. A lot of loneliness in my childhood, combined with emotional neglect. My mother couldn't show love because of what happened in her childhood. She died when I was 20 and she both told me an my sister that she always loved us but couldn't show it. That was after 3 years of cancer and me taking care of her. After her death I took care of my dad until he found a girlfriend and I was left on my own. I had a dark night of the soul that lasted many months. It almost destroyed me, but now it seems it made me stronger. I took about 10 years to fully recover and at age 30 I set off on a spiritual journey in which I forsake the idea of love and concentrated on my "mission" in life. Which was just more a feeling than a concrete thing. I landed in her lap basically; after a strange series of events that where so weird it not only made me convinced about something spiritual but also showed a glimpse of my (and any human's) potential. Although I know our deep connection, there is something that feels off. At first I thought it was my pain body, but I feel there is more out there. It is hard to know what exactly what I feel or place it into a context. My wife was my first experience and what I thought, my always and my last. I am not so certain about this now. I might have done the most stupid thing and told her about this. I have a hard time lying or keeping things secret and she already felt emotionally what I told her in words. We still love each other deeply and I want to be there for her; but on the other hand their are so many omens and everything seems to fall apart. Even my illness seems to be an expression of something emotional and spiritual. Agape; the highest form of love is what we feel for each other. Below that our regular egoistic love started to grow. More on her side than on mine; although I also feel egoistic love for her; yet less. I don't know what to make of this journey that is our lives. I always had hunches about the future; mostly in dreams at night, sometimes it comes as something I know without recalling how. Maybe they are just possibilities and by having them I've been given the permission to change the future. I might have done this already and literally saved her life if that was the case. Or maybe I just see her death nearing if I didn't. In the middle of this Ziran. It sends me every spiritual person and book around me, my way. My vibration must be rising and it is starting to feel like I felt 4 years ago. Only I am in a better place with more support. From people saying me to strengthen my lower chakras to guiding me to Qi-gong, to pointing out I should read the Dao of physics. I am sure the universe is working its hardest to move me in the right direction; and I feel like I'm failing or rather making mistakes. I know this has nothing to do with Dao; but it has everything to do with Dao. It is the Dao to the Dao in which you start to realize the Dao by becoming the Dao so you may become one with the Dao. Also, I might need a master; but Ziran has been so grateful; I don't know if there is a master I would accept.
  8. Are Secrets Really Necessary . . . (?)

    1. One can guide you to the fountain, but one cannot make you drink. 2. All knowledge has potential to be dangerous. Some things are not knowledge but changes within consciousness beyond knowledge. It is always helpful to have guides. 3. Stop thinking; start being. 4. The rational to see the limitations of the rational and overcoming those. 5. According to the Dao it might very well be that everyone is crazy. 6. They have been revealed and there everywhere around you. The revelation in yourself is a process you and every other person has to do individually. It is not about reasoning or understanding; it is about being and becoming. 7. your opinion depends on definition and is neither true or false 8. The Dutch accepted Judo. When a Chinese Daoist accepts the best the West has to offer he/she to will grow. 9. The unasked question. There are no secrets. There is just waking up and the process of waking up. Daoism is one way; there are others. Even in the west. Only the west didn't value and honor those as high in their culture so they are more hidden. There is nothing to know really; it is more an experience.
  9. Dark night of the soul

    The road to heaven leads through hell. My take on it is that people can see meditation as stress reduction and a way to improve themselves in their lives with their current mindset. I on the other hand am getting comfortable with the idea that I meditate so my mindset can change, so my life will change and the experience in this reality will change. But after having had periods of depression and suicide attempts and such, I (my ego) kind off lost the fear of death gradually. Took about 10 years. Where I started a deep Yoga Meditation recently, I realize going into a certain trance; which with practice will lead to something akin to the death of the ego. Or whatever that would mean. Now this experience can be very scary or it can be the most fulfilling experience and it would be most likely a bit of both Thing to remember is; we are only in this body for about 100 years or much less in many cases. Don't take it too seriously and smile a lot. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. And I do feel sympathy; it is so very scary to be human. Yet it can be so rewarding.
  10. throat issues

    Since I sense some sarcasm in here I just wanted to add that the most bad I felt was before Jeff helped me. He eased my distress and fixed my energy overload and probably sped up my transition to whatever it is I am becoming with days, or weeks. This is more then what any of the medical professionals (with exception of my surgeon) I have seen lately have accomplished. So big thanks to @Jeff for helping me in that crisis moment.
  11. Enlightened movies

    "The adjustment bureau" gave me some short lived psychic senses when I watched it 3 years ago. In the sense of telling myself " there is a centipede going to cross the bathroom, don't be scared" 10 seconds before it happened Also I like the SciFi Avalon. It is a rather unknown movie.
  12. throat issues

    What is happening to me? Is a question for which I kind off know the answer already; although I don't know what the answer means. Let me tell you a what happened to me during the last year; and especially the last month. Maybe some of you can bring clarity, or at least it may provide a nice anecdote. Since September I was getting more and more tired. So tired that by December I was sleeping more than half the day. Ten hours at night and 2 after work in the afternoon. My mood was low and gray. I started to feel hopeless. During the Christmas break I got the flue so bad I thought I was going to die; but I lived. Still I became even more tired and start getting symptoms of depression. Half way through February I got a stomach problem so painful that my wife drove me over to the ER. Gastritis was the diagnoses and we were ready to leave until the doctor rushed and said, you need a scan. Your blood calcium level is dangerously high. So after tests they found a benign tumor on one of my parathyroids. Those are 4 little glands behind the thyroid that regulate calcium level. Now on March 1st I had an operation done by an excellent surgeon and it is true that I felt ten years younger afterwards. Only with the apathy lifted I started to feel anxious and had a couple of panic attacks. Now two weeks later, on a Sunday I went to a small wellnessgathering where a friend of mine (who was my 1st level reiki teacher 4 years ago) apparently opened my hearth. Which in itself was a nice experience. Now, I started to feel more and more nervous and weird and on the Wednesday after I posted a thread here where I stated I needed something. Jeff here did some energy work and I started to indeed feel better; but not completely well yet. link to thread The next week the symptoms returned and with the added stress of financial problems I felt dark thoughts on Tuesday. I thought about killing myself but I couldn't. For I love my wife too much and I know that I will live into my seventies; since as a child I have seen my departure from this world. Now on Thursday I had a kind of nervous breakdown and since my wife didn't know what to do with me she brought me to her shrink she was about to visit. He couldn't let me go, so he instructed me to go to the ER. I didn't mention to him the spiritual stuff ofcourse, but I told him the dark thoughts. Now, after a night at the ER they put me in observation. Since I don't have any symptoms of depression or any other disorder; the doctors were puzzled until they got my bloodtests back. Grace be given, they did a thyroid test. Apparently I have a thyroid issue. Only, my thyroid looks normal and Jeff told me I was up for a roller coaster after an opened heart. Now yesterday, still strange moods; although my mind seems detached from them. Like the emotions are happening to my body and not to myself or my mind. Mostly restlessness and some episodes of feeling intense love. I know I that my life is on a pivotal moment and I wanted to talk to someone who is a renown seer. Only she charges a lot and is probably on spring break. Now today, my wife talked to an old friend who also is a spiritual practice and she looked at me. She said I am evolving and ascended masters (a lot of them) are helping me through it. She adviced doing nothing but take plenty of rest and wait it out. She will see me on friday. Meanwhile this afternoon went to my general practitioner who seems to be clueless on thyroid hormones. I secured an appointment with one of the best endocrinologists (thanks to a family connection). So here I sit on a Tuesday evening; waiting and trying to rest. Well, I could use some soothing and actually I might want to be a testament to whatever I am going through.
  13. Everyone post some favorite quotes!

    You can guide one to the fountain, but you cannot make one drink. All wisdom in the world is written on a small stone; be it mere a single symbol.
  14. Gospel of Thomas

    *subscribed* (didn't find a subscribe button on this forum) I' currently interpreting the gospel of Thomas and will post some of my remarks after I finished; for they may bring insight.
  15. Seeking something

    Hi blue eyed snake I was born and raised in the Flemish part of Belgian. Though I currently live in the Chicago area.