ZLogic

I was just resting in the silence of my body + mind earlier, and my attention drifted to my neck, the bridge between the head and heart. There was very fulfilling energy movement.

Hi Banana, Welcome! Like Lima once said, this is a journey and I'm glad you're on your way! Some points from your posts: Maybe give up the vegetarian diet? It can lead to weakness and sensitivity. We should treat animals better, but tribes and shamans understand that giving animals a humane death when the time is right is better than a slow death in old age or from another predator. Burping is good! It's a sign that things are moving and readjusting for the better. Forget about Kundalini. Maybe some of your practices aren't right for you. Kundalini comes only when it decides. If you'd like to rouse Kundalini safely, bota.org offers a course of meditations that awakens it safely. This will also help you work on your mind. SLEEP ALL THE TIME. Seriously. Forget everything else and just sleep. Nothing else is as important as your health and how you feel inside. It will make you productive. The rare sadness that comes up might be repression. Face it, don't sweep it under the rug. Become the sadness for a time. It has a lesson to teach you that you haven't learned yet. Then remind yourself of your great qualities. Posture is super important! Just be happy every time you remind yourself, and it will correct over months.

Thanks for the kind words! Yes, I'm looking to learn at TDB. What that is exactly is still TBD. I'm not sure that I'm 'there' already. Judging by what I feel and have read here, my sexual practice must be improved if it is to be completely healthy for my body.

Thanks for all the great resources on this site. I'm a student of the Church of Light (CC Zain, more earthy, airy, and astrological) and Builders of the Adytum (Paul Foster Case, more fire, water and tarot). I've also studied some of Mantak Chia's stuff, which I've now read isn't particularly safe or well done. Having experienced multiple orgasms with energy retention over the years, I know it's really exciting, invigorating stuff. I've also experienced some of the downsides, including swelling, less urine flow, discomfort, and injaculation. I'm grateful for MC simply because it gives a preview of what's possible. I'm now at a place where I'm looking to transition into a safer and more sustainable practice. I've already stopped using my fingers on the million dollar point (assuming I ever did that correctly), simply for health and comfort reasons. I'm currently achieving ~50% semen retention by preemptively squeezing my PC muscle before each pulse during ejaculation while pulling my insides back and up from the root in the abdomen with empty lungs. I've now read that it's not good to fight the orgasm itself with the PC muscle. Feeling the sexual energy every day is rather important to me, so my current plan is to continue learning and to begin incorporating changes to this practice over time. It's kind of an intuitive, learn-by-doing approach. I'm currently experimenting with the whole Maha Bandha and how practiced use might help the energy flow safer, easier. I can feel energy moving in my aura daily, and see it too, although I don't have much insight into the explicit meaning of these experiences in most cases. I would like to achieve a level of integration where these feelings of energy movements become cyclical and regular, rather than feeling somewhat disjointed and spontaneous (but still fulfilling). I'm not certain how diligent I'll be with following a specific school or set of practices. What I'm really looking for are some specific tips, practices, or insights which resonate with me intuitively. I find that I can incorporate things like that easily, automatically, and with practice, without the need for some kind of intensively dedicated study of an entire curriculum. Looking forward to doing more reading!