ganjaboy

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Everything posted by ganjaboy

  1. Since i'm young and still uncertain and starting out, celibacy does make sense to me. It's also clear to me when I retain that i am preserving life because it restores what i can describe as an ecstatic feeling of sexual self-containment ...and I would bet if i stayed celibate for years it could reach the level of joy I had for sex just as a young boy. I believe the detriment is caused when essence is wasted needlessly and repeatedly, if I could have my way I would never do so again short of for procreation because i did so needlessly in my younger years. I am going to use the energy to better my life, gain compassion and insight and strength at the same time. And one day, i do intend on having a sexual relationship with a woman i am in love with, hopefully one who is spiritually in tune so it could be true lovemaking that involves energy exchange, give and take, not just one-way.
  2. a question...If i've spent about 8 years with masturbation, but spend the next 9 strictly celibate and restoring jing, shen, and chi...will i feel "younger" when i'm 30 then i am now? my inner sense of balance leads me to believe that a young man possesses more of all of these than an older one...i just recall a magical feeling of lack of inhibition and lightness in the body, clear thinking, lack of anxiety, all of which are things that are plaguing me now and i am starting to worry for my health. I ultimately want a relationship but one which does not destroy essence while making love..key phrase making LOVE! not giving in to adolescent animal desire
  3. As someone who has not had a lot of confidence and has spent a LOT of time jerking off (namely, nearly 7 years lol), I would like to avoid that route if possible. I'm desperate to change my life and even if the practices to convert the jing to chi and joy and lust for life are difficult, I am willing to commit to an involved practice, short of an actual relationship with sex of course. I just want more out of life.
  4. Funny you should say that lol. It has come to my attention that there are in fact a few females who fancy me. It can be interesting, while cultivating or being celibate , to take note of that attraction and use part of the energy to help confidence as a man. But important to keep ego out of it too
  5. Ideally what I would do would be cultivate for a few years to get myself under control, then have a girlfriend / partner who would be fine with having phases of sex and no sex for spiritual advancement, hopefully of us both. Jewish couples actually do this to help intermittently rebuild the lust and love between each other, it's supposed to be healthy for the relationship.
  6. Thank you for your wisdom and bless you. I love dancing. Even though the crowd there is often not spiritually "pure" by any means I love going to big dance festivals with fast loud rhythmic music, often under the influence of certain herbs lol It helps me release energy that there is very little means for me to do so otherwise. I never intended the celibate phase to last forever but I want to use it is as a tool just for a few years as part of a wake-up call. Overindulgence sexually in my teens made me weak and too petty. I want to use this time and the power celibacy grants to grow stronger as a person and in my determination and willpower. When I have those, which bring confidence, the women will come more naturally anyways and perhaps around that time I can become interested in a parter and likewise. I'm thinking around 25 here. I'm turning 22 in May. I ask myself what do I REALLY want out of life? Is it pleasure or fulfillment? To me that is the difference between a boy and a man, a boy just goes for temporary pleasure while a man seeks deeper meaning, fulfillment and illumination to life. There are many grown males out there still in the former mindset and they can't stop using women just for temporary pleasure. I haven't entered that cycle and I want to avoid doing so while I can. I agree that celibacy alone isn't the end all, be all though and I might actually achieve higher enlightenment having sex, just in the context of a meaningful relationship and balanced with soul sharing and love
  7. The plan is not to remain celibate for my whole life but I feel that there's a bit of a fire that needs to be built especially since I want to do something special with my life. The next 3 or 4 years will be fairly celibate and ascetic for me though while i work on some specific issues in my self. I'd like to get a regular practice going in this time and stay disciplined. I wouldn't rule out starting to see a woman around 25 or 26 if I feel stable enough. I look at young men my age who engage too much sexually, too early and I think that they are losing too much of that fire too early on in life. It's a scary world out there and to be confidence and achieve I feel that cultivation helps me a lot since it puts a bit of a fight in my soul. As far as diet, I eat fairly healthy but am getting to the age where my metabolism slows down so I am really avoiding the less wholesome food. Also for whatever reason, I think my system doesn't respond well to heavy, rich foods so I avoid those. I try to stick with plants. Music and meditation are two things I really enjoy. They both make me feel very alive and I am sure are full of life energy. I see too much death in modern society and lifestyle and I don't want to be part of it.

  8. Walking

    ganjaboy replied to ganjaboy's topic in Healthy Bums

    Am I understand jing, shen and chi correctly? When I cultivate or retain I feel a very strong and unmistakable energy behind my actions, very masculine and it can be somewhat aggressive. It also gives me a lot of willpower and focus, which increases the longer I have retained. It is of course partially sexual, there's a drive to reproduce but in my experience, with discipline it can be channeled into virtually anything, even if it's just blind confidence. Chi on the other hand I understand more as a force for overall life. It makes me desire to take better care of myself and increase longevity, as well as recover lost elements of youth - to sort of feel the same vigor and spark I did as a young teenage boy. Shen / spirit is just a feeling to me - whether I'm filled with elation or anger or whatnot.

  9. Walking

    ganjaboy replied to ganjaboy's topic in Healthy Bums

    I've been rather sedentary for the past five years and haven't gotten enough exercise. This winter it culminated in me just feeling sluggish and horrible. This summer i'd like to run, lose weight, bike, walk, water fast and try to eat healthier foods. I'm pretty sure all of these things are in good effort to boost chi (life energy and I will feel better

  10. Haven't been around in a long time, good to be back!

  11. Eating practices

    ganjaboy posted a topic in General Discussion

    Does anyone have a particular Taoist practice or discipline that they follow for eating? I live in the United States which is a country in which, ironically, it is the abundance of food that is making us gravely ill. So it makes good sense to have good habits that promote spiritual cultivation and growth. The below page I recently read, and found it to be a good resource for this topic: http://www.seventhfam.com/temple/books/eattolive_one/eat1_10.htm I think one large meal a day is more than possible, and honestly makes good sense because you can devote the majority of your day to everything besides cooking or eating. It just seems to be cultivating an "eat to live" mindset. I have never done well with several meals a day. I've had very religious experiences fasting for a couple days, it seems to open creative and soul channels which are closed after consuming food. I have never gone longer than a few days though because I'm already slender. I've also read about one bowl meditation where you put everything you want to eat in one bowl. Not sure about the practicality of this if eating one meal a day.
  12. Background: 20 year old male, turning 21 in the spring. Former great loss of jing, ojas, meaning of being "man", etc. due to pornography and masturbation. Of course I have long since quit these behaviors in favor of spiritual practice. But I want to take it a step further - I'd like to remain celibate for approximately 10 years in order to give myself opportunity to deepen spiritually and use my creative energies for other purposes. Some call this "Brahmacharya". and traditionally it lasts 12 years in disciplined practice, but I'm shooting for the decade between ages 20 and 30. This is the time of my life when I feel I will have the most potentially to do and achieve anything I want. While celibate I've noticed that the creative CHI life energies naturally flow elsewhere; art, music, literature, film, theater, even raw emotion seem to come alive for me at a whole new level. I am an artist and would like to seriously devote my energy to creation because I believe I have something to contribute to this realm in the world. I am currently seeing a girlfriend, and we are dating, but I haven't yet mentioned to her my plan. That said I feel that she is a soulmate, and perhaps she would understand (cliche, but true love waits). I believe dating should occur for years before marriage. Am I deluding myself by believing that such a period of self-realization would change me as a person, and perhaps take me some distance toward the realm of enlightenment?

  13. Is celibacy for 10 years realistic?

    ganjaboy replied to ganjaboy's topic in General Discussion

    That sounds great. Yeah, I eventually concluded that the loss of energy thing is only as much of an issue as you make it. I don't like to orgasm often but when I do I make sure that I replenish the energy from both the Jing and the heart centers, but since i'm young, that doesn't take a lot of time. I made love last week with a girl I know, and I'd have to say that it was a good thing. It helped to dispel a lot of the sexual energy / celibacy / cultivation OCD that has tended to fog my brain. I think that sometimes experience is the most important thing, and I'm glad that I was able to find someone who wanted to share pleasure through sex. It may have not been as deep at a spiritual level as would be possible through a long-term relationship, but it definitely had its place. I'm young, and I feel like if I didn't as least live it up sometimes, I would be pretty regretful by the time I was an old man.

  14. Is celibacy for 10 years realistic?

    ganjaboy replied to ganjaboy's topic in General Discussion

    Agreed with the above, I now think complete celibacy is unnecessary and perhaps destructive. By restricting such a natural impulse so harshly it gives it more power and importance, which is anti-Dao. Dao would have it that sex like anything is just a leaf, or perhaps a pretty flower floating in the river...yep, it's there, yep it's nice....and there it goes! I don't know how to describe it but increasingly I am becoming more and more disinterested in sex. This began once I started consuming certain...er...herbs.....and doing more and more deep meditation into myself. At once the shortcomings of the physical became clear to me, and I was disgusted with myself for putting so much stock in them formerly. These realizations seem necessary to anyone who is trying to have a deep, meaningful relationship. I'm looking for one at the present. I think that the girl I am looking for should be able to embody different personalities at different times....sometimes motherly, platonic level, mature caring and concern...other times more sexy lover. I should be able to do the same and I think this is normal and healthy. I feel myself not being attracted to women sexually as much. I like girls who are pretty and have a nice personality, or who just are interesting wholesome individuals. I am getting closer to seeing women as equal partners on the path to enlightenment. Gender seems an illusion to me. I am more interested in manifestations of true love, beauty and transcendence in this world. Lol, there I go sounding like a stoned hippie... but I think it's a good place to be at a karmic level

  15. Is celibacy for 10 years realistic?

    ganjaboy replied to ganjaboy's topic in General Discussion

    I've been celibate for months at a time before. I think at this point I would be best just to have a healthy sex life (in moderation) and a healthy spiritual life (in moderation). I'm sensitive enough that I don't believe I will ever have serious issues of balance. What is harmful however in my experience is obsessing, worrying and thinking too much about life instead of actually living it.

  16. Is celibacy for 10 years realistic?

    ganjaboy replied to ganjaboy's topic in General Discussion

    Thanks for you insights. I'm considering walking a middle path with regard to sexuality as per Buddhist view (the Buddha renounced asceticism as unsustainable, and I feel that complete celibacy for 10 years is unrealistic and a recipe for disaster). Instead I want to just take careful note of where the energies go, be mindful of them and how I can redirect them appropriately. I'm only 20 years old lol, I mean I'm still figuring out my sexuality and cutting it off entirely probably is a bad idea.

  17. Is celibacy for 10 years realistic?

    ganjaboy replied to ganjaboy's topic in General Discussion

    All good advice, but at the same time I wonder if it is possible that I am over thinking it.... i have a tendency to over think everything. If my girlfriend and I wish to share loving sexual experiences, is there really any harm in that? I like to think in terms of jing, shen, qi and all that, but perhaps sex is something I just shouldn't over think. Maybe my life needs to unfold more naturally, in accordance with the Dao, and if I make mistakes I learn from them. Just another thought... agh I feel like I'm second guessing now lol.

  18. Is celibacy for 10 years realistic?

    ganjaboy replied to ganjaboy's topic in General Discussion

    So many great responses here, thanks. I don't know where to begin! So you can see my future? I've noticed that the longer I cultivate the stronger my willpower gets. 10 months and still going strong over here! That's the easy path. But what if I was able to get fulfillment and benefits to my spiritual health in other ways? Music! Art! Just being the best person I can in a lot of areas of my life and having empathy for my fellow man. I'm trying to become less selfish. I agree entire. Music is a type of bliss of the soul, as an example. I've noticed that as celibate the strains of music sound all the sweeter and I feel it all at a much deeper level. Oh, I don't ultimately plan on an asexual relationship. This 10 year period would be a trial period for me, to see how far I can push myself and how much I can deepen my character beyond the common person. I don't believe in asexuality for a long-term relationship. I also don't believe that sexuality or sexual capacity has to, by ANY means, decline beyond a given arbitrary age i.e. 40. If I stay in excellent health, who knows, perhaps my capacity will grow. Thank you! I will endeavor to find a teacher as I agree it is necessary. Agreed. I like this. Can you explain exactly why after 40 sexual capacity declines? I'm in way better health now than I was two years ago.
  19. As a cultivator and young man I've come to realize over time that it is highly desirable to adopt a physical practice, for reasons of energy movement dispersion, mental clarity, et cetera. There are many different practices available however, such as martial arts, bodybuilding, yoga. Are practices such as bodybuilding in which one acquires a certain material physique or skill, strength in accordance with the Dao? It seems to me that anything that focuses excessive energy on the self is anti-Dao, and physical strength, while an asset, is temporary, while spirit is eternal. I am seriously considering switching to yoga, as I feel that practices that develop a physique are excessively and inherently selfish. Thoughts?

  20. Morality of Physical Practices and the Dao

    ganjaboy replied to ganjaboy's topic in General Discussion

    I'm not sure if anticipate was the right word - but the thought of getting in a fistfight with a guy or some other physical altercation, and whether I would be able to handle myself on the street is definitely in my mind a lot. I think it is very important with this to be able to weed out false threats from real threats, and only respond with aggression if absolutely needed. Would this practice help with that? It sounds like the sensitivity would lend well to this end.

  21. Morality of Physical Practices and the Dao

    ganjaboy replied to ganjaboy's topic in General Discussion

    From what it sounds like then I have started to lose my innocence as I have started to feel the need for things such as building muscle to feel stronger. Forget that then! I'll just continue to cultivate and work on practices such as those you mentioned. I need to get rid of the anticipation of violence, as well as the feeling of needing to prove myself. This is the effect of my mind being tainted, but I am still young so it is partially reversible.

  22. lack of masculine energy

    ganjaboy replied to bax44's topic in General Discussion

    As a cultivator I'll give some suggestions based on personal experience (as well as my personal path as well). It's grueling, but pure hard retention does work wonders if you stick it out long enough. Currently I'm doing very yang stuff (lifting weights, building muscle) though I am incorporating daily sitting meditation as well. The idea is that I'm doing something with the energy - it is being also sent to creative faculties as well as physical ones. In 2-3 years my plan is to switch over entirely to yoga for energy work and drop the strength training. Currently I think of what I'm doing as "building a fire" or laying foundation for the person I want to become. Building muscle is still weaker than spirit when spirit is at its strongest, but for me it is helping me feel more masculine in the meantime. It builds discipline, and it's also tangible and easy to see results. Again though, only temporary. When you retain for long periods of time be prepared to feel very "pent up" with energy; it may manifest as being unable to sleep, having OCD, being indecisive, or easily agitated. You may feel easily combative with other men. Additionally the food that you eat will have a magnified affect on you - it will take less to feel full, and the energy will lost longer. Fasting is probably a good idea when you've been cultivating. Also, if you are used to needing external stimuli to become aroused it may take awhile before you are able to become so naturally again. Once you've got it back though you should be fine. Positives: your memory will improve significantly, you'll have more energy, most likely lose weight and improve muscle tone at the same time, you will have more confidence, impulsiveness (a masculine trait), and will be able to love yourself more. When I started I had testosterone in the lower end of normal. By tweaking diet, getting enough sleep and being more active I was able to improve it significantly. The suggestions about interval training are really good, also try putting yourself in high-octane environments like bars and clubs. You'll certainly feel a lot more "alive".

  23. Morality of Physical Practices and the Dao

    ganjaboy replied to ganjaboy's topic in General Discussion

    Would there be any harm in continuing strength training type exercises and endurance exercise for a couple years, while dabbling in other practices? I feel like it is anything but unusual for a young man to have a need to feel physically stronger. It's in accordance with what the sages say, however, because my jing and Qi are still unstable since I'm young.

  24. Morality of Physical Practices and the Dao

    ganjaboy replied to ganjaboy's topic in General Discussion

    Thank you. I've noticed that when power is developed in the arms, for instance, the energy concentrates there, stagnant, and I feel less in other parts of my body. Weightlifting alone, also, does not by any means necessarily make me feel "stronger" or safer - only as far as the next strongest man. It doesn't necessary integrate spirit either. I need to FEEL that life energy (Qi, Shen, and Jing in particular, because of where I'm at). So from what it sounds like you are saying a better option is to combine flexibility with strength, as opposed to sheer strength alone. I guess I'll stick wih cardio workouts and bodyweight exercise for the time being. Yoga poses have also been good for daily discipline, for me. I haven't ever gotten into taji but I am going to make that a priority as of now. I do like running (endurance and speed) because it does promote that lean, flexible physique that you mentioned, and it also has a psychological element like yoga (runner's high).

  25. Morality of Physical Practices and the Dao

    ganjaboy replied to ganjaboy's topic in General Discussion

    The reason I said that I don't think your physical practice should be for others is because I think it's a false motivation. If you're building big muscle to attract attention, then it's very much an ego thing... that said, I'm not even particularly sure ego exist. All that matters is what YOU, yourself, not your ego, bring to the table of life. How you interact with others and what your spirit shares. I'm still in a very experimental phase of my life. I try to work on changing the body and the spirit at the same time, which I see as yin and yang that complement each other. Cultivation / retention has over time made me soft-spoken and non-ostentatious, but there is a definite hot fire that is burning inside... if I feel wrongdoing being done to myself or others i'm not hesitant to stand up about it. Courage. I've noticed that retention in particular makes me particularly sensitive to masculine vibes from other guys, it's like I'm on the same frequency with amplitude multiplied 1000x. My inner man get really on edge when i'm around guys with strong jing, much in the same way my inner monkey goes nuts over attractive young ladies... Then i fast / meditate for long enough and both feelings disintegrate into nothingness. To dust returned. Emptiness isn't a bad place to be sometimes, and certain forms of exercise (endurance) or physical practice can certainly humble you and put you in emptiness, which is the whole point.