Geof Nanto

Solitude, I reflected, is the one deep necessity of the human spirit to which adequate recognition is never given in our codes. It is looked upon as a discipline or a penance, but hardly ever as the indispensable, pleasant ingredient it is to ordinary life, and from this want of recognition come half our domestic troubles. The fear of an unbroken téte-å-téte for the rest of one’s life should, you would think, prevent any person from getting married. Modern education ignores the need for solitude: hence a decline in religion, in poetry, in all the deeper affections of the spirit: a disease to be doing something always, as if one could never sit quietly and let the puppet show unroll itself before one: an inability to lose oneself in mystery and wonder while, like a wave lifting us into new seas, the history of the world develops around us. ~ Freya Stark, The Valleys of the Assassins

I love it when there are fireflies around. You're blessed to have them already, especially inside. They are magical. But none here as yet. They normally come in October when it’s warmer. It’s still chilly here some mornings. Sadly, last year only a few. I assume the massive forest fire of 2019 decimated them. Overall, however, in the aftermath of so much loss of flora and fauna, the forest is recovering well. Masses of native regrowth. And the lantana is almost entirely gone. But as yet not much wildlife other than birds. I particularly miss the wallabies that were abundant here. Only a few now…

The Tightrope Walker In Thus Spoke Zarathustra the tightrope walker falls and dies from his injuries. Two options; either walk the tightrope or fall. Yet there’s a third possibility. I’d say our human situation has been for a long time something more like this:

I lost a dear friend a few days ago. She was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis a year ago and treatments failed to curtail its rapid progression. She was 66 years old, a little younger than me. Thankfully, she died in peace, no acute suffering throughout her illness. She was able to stay in her own home until the last few days when her lungs irreversibly collapsed. She was fully conscious and lucid until the end, when at her request they switched off the machines keeping her alive in intensive care. There was no hope for her survival. She had accepted with great equanimity in the preceding months that her end was approaching. She reread The Tibetan Book of the Dead, and had a strong, long-term Bhakti yoga practice. Yet, understandably, she said it was very hard to finally let go. Without oxygen, she rapidly faded into the world beyond this one. But sad, oh so sad. The second close friend I’ve lost this year. In her memory:

I’ve mentioned in previous threads how helpful and complementary to Neidan I find the conceptual imagery of Western alchemy for gaining insight into my actual experiences of alchemical transmutation: Rebis (from Wikipedia) The Rebis (from the Latin res bina, meaning dual or double matter) is the end product of the alchemical magnum opus or great work. After one has gone through the stages of putrefaction and purification, separating opposing qualities, those qualities are united once more in what is sometimes described as the divine hermaphrodite, a reconciliation of spirit and matter, a being of both male and female qualities as indicated by the male and female head within a single body. The sun and moon correspond to the male and female halves, just as the Red King and White Queen are similarly associated. Rebis from Theoria Philosophiae Hermeticae (1617) by Heinrich Nollius

Yes, but there are various other specialist meanings of the terms yin and yang in alchemy. And within that terminology yang is used to donate superior qualities. It’s confusing for sure, and the patriarchal bias comes into play with this usage, and goes deeper than just the terminology. But it’s a complex topic of which I have no wish to get bogged down in because I’m not wanting to fight it. I just take it all as part of the general patriarchal environment that pervades our human world and navigate it to the best of my ability in a way that honours my own more feminine inner experience. Mostly that means keeping key aspects of myself hidden. Indeed, hiddenness is a key yin quality of the Dao as the Daodejing repeatedly mentions. I find it more than a little ironical that early Daoism with its promotion of feminine traits has become so masculinised in mainstream neidan. For some general background info on the various ways yin and yang are used in alchemy as surmised by Thomas Cleary, here’s an extract from his introduction to his translation of Liu Yiming’s The Taoist I Ching. The final paragraph is particularly relevant to Bindi’s OP:

If you haven’t realised by now that virtually the whole discourse on alchemy is written from a masculine perspective, then I can’t see that anything Bindi might say will serve to enlighten you to what seems to me an obvious fact. Indeed, I think she's either very brave or very foolish (or both) to broach the subject on this forum dominated by the masculine perspective. Although I greatly respect your dedication to practice and the clarity with which you are able to communicate Daoist alchemical doctrine, the path you are on is only one of many valid alchemical paths. I’d call yours a yang path, the path of a spiritual warrior; a path with definite goals derived from doctrinal clarity. Whereas mine is a yin path, a path with no definite goals other than the cultivation of emotional clarity. That’s the basis for feeling my way towards enhanced connection with the mystery of Dao. “These [alchemical] processes are steeped in mystery; they pose riddles with which the human mind will long wrestle for a solution, and perhaps in vain. For in the last analysis, it is exceedingly doubtful whether human reason is a suitable instrument for this purpose. Not for nothing did alchemy style itself an “art,” feeling – and rightly so –that it was concerned with creative processes that can be truly grasped only by experience, though intellect may give them a name. The alchemists themselves warned us: “Rumpite libros, ne corda vestra rumpantur” (Rend the books, lest your hearts be rent asunder), and this despite their insistence on study. Experience, not books, is what leads to understanding … The forms which the experience takes in each individual may be infinite in their variations, but. . . they are all variants of certain central types, and these occur universally. They are the primordial images, from which the religions each draw their absolute truth.” ~Carl Jung

You are in my thoughts, Earl Grey, and you very much have my good wishes. Please keep us informed of your condition.

That’s how I’ve been washing my hands and showering for over 20 years. I started washing that way because it felt more in harmony with my body’s needs and my environment. It increasing felt to me as if excessive washing of any sort, and especially using soap, was damaging my body’s protective qi. I also do dish washing by simply rinsing under running water. No soap works well for me within the semi-wilderness environment in which I live, but obviously urban dwellers will have different needs. I don’t usually mention it because washing with soap is one of our culture’s most basic hygiene mantras. Hence, I was pleased to read this article explaining the importance of skin bacteria: https://www.abc.net.au/news/health/2021-08-07/covid-19-hand-hygiene-washing-skin-microbiome/100296570 [Incidentally, the article is from Australian Broadcasting Commission (abc) which is the Australian equivalent of the BBC. It’s not related in any way to the American ABC network.]

What I wrote is something that works well for me. If anyone finds it useful, great. If not, it’s not something I want to push onto other people.

I could feel your anguish over the Covid discussion and can well understand why you might want to step back for a bit. Obviously you know best how you want to interact here but I’m hoping you keep an active presence because, perhaps more than anyone else, you help give this forum heart. But whatever you chose, you have my good wishes.

Bob Dylan once commented that Cohen’s songs were increasingly sounding like hymns. Here’s another one of spiritual longing and human despair from his last album:

One of my favourite artists of all time is Leonard Cohen and his last album is one of his greatest. There's a Japanese tradition of writing a brief poem when at death's door. I bought a book of these poems expecting deep revelations as many are by Zen monks - but I was disappointed as most feel contrived to me. However, that's certainly not the case with Cohen's You Want it Darker. The whole album is excellent and contains the best death songs / poems I've ever heard. Totally authentic emotion from a master communicator - a magical weaving of darkness and light; of embodied humanness with its worldly desires and very real suffering interplaying with profound spiritual longing. But perhaps only deeply meaningful for few. I suspect he's too honest for most, for the many who seem to like their spirituality sugar coated. (At the end of the chorus Cohen sings “Hineni, hineni; I’m ready, my lord.” Hineni is Hebrew for “here I am,” and is the response Abraham gives when God calls on him to sacrifice his son Isaac. It is also the name of a prayer of preparation and humility, addressed to God, chanted by the cantor on Rosh Hashanah.)

You do very well. I very much like reading your contributions here even though my own perspective on alchemy is markedly different from yours. It's also worth noting that no one has ever been able to write about the deeper levels of alchemy in an easy to understand way. That simply is not possible. As Isabelle Robinet writes in The World Upside Down, "The language of alchemy is a language that attempts to say the contradictory."

I imagine by now you’ve found information on this because I know you’re a good researcher. And, having read it, you may understand Cleansox’s reticence about answering your question. I’ve attached an essay by Fabrizio Pregadio which I’ve recently read that makes good reference to true yin and true yang in the context of Liu Yiming’s perspective on correct and incorrect Neidan practice. I consider it an essay well worth reading whether or not one agrees with Liu Yiming. As Pregado notes, Liu Yiming’s “views on Neidan are, on the one hand, grounded in some the most deep-rooted aspects of this tradition, but also, on the other hand, so adverse to convention as to appear radical in their detachment from accepted standards. However, while Liu Yiming’s teachings on Neidan are in many ways unique, his works represent one of the most important instances of an integral exposition doctrine in the history of this tradition”. Also worth noting is that Liu Yiming was an 11th-generation master of one of the northern branches of the Longmen (Dragon Gate) lineage. Discriminations in Cultivating the Tao.pdf

I very much like that song too. Although it speaks of physical abuse, its vibe evokes emotional trauma. That's why I posted it. (And yeah, I knew from your description that you didn't suffer physical abuse.) Yes, absolutely!

When I read this post of yours yesterday, it reminded me of a song of your namesake which has been on my mind lately. I was tempted to add a link but refrained as it’s well off-topic. Physical abuse of children is universally condemned as abhorrent. I’d say emotional abuse is far more pervasive and likewise leaves deep inner scars. I never suffered physical abuse as a child, nor obvious emotional abuse, yet very much so on a more subtle level. And most of all, I relate to how Luka holds his hurt deep inside.

Okay. There's nothing wrong your understanding of theory. And your ability to communicate is excellent. These areas are obviously not your weaknesses. That why I made the cultivation suggests I did. You have my sincere good wishes, TT.

@TranquilTurmoil From what you’ve written about yourself on this forum, I’d say you’re on the right path. It’s nature that heals us and natural healing takes time. It’s slow, but increasing one's harmony with nature is the only way I know that gets to the root of the problems. Be patient, you've only just started with it. I suggested a while back that you try shiatsu, maybe even learn it yourself. Have you looked into doing that? It’s a gentle healing modality based on harmonising qi flow imbalances within our body’s meridian system. Learning it with a small group of people will give you plenty of nurturing, hands-on, healing contact. It’s a safe approach for gaining confidence towards deeper intimacy. Along with that, your teacher will probably recommend practicing some form of qigong. With methods such as these, you will slowly grow towards a deeper level of overall wellness. Focus on that rather than concern for any specific symptom, such as the sexual dysfunction and anxiety you mention. These will fade over time.

The current discussions on Tien Shan nei kung reminded me of an essay by Damo Mitchell titled, Martial Arts - Realm of the Insecure, published in the book, Daoist Reflections from Scholar Sage: Let us always be brutally honest with ourselves as to why we started training in the martial arts in the first place. I have spent my life around various forms of martial arts classes and practitioners. When I was younger it was within the Japanese external systems, and as I grew older it was within the Chinese systems. This means that over the years I have grown to know many people who started training in different forms of Gong Fu. Some of those people are still training, whilst the vast majority have since stopped and moved on to other things. One thing that always fascinated me is the common thread that pulled all of those people into martial training, which is both arduous and longwinded. Why would somebody wish to dedicate so much time to painstakingly analysing every little facet of their body movement through the medium of combat? Now, with the exception of those who got into something like Taijiquan for health reasons, I see that the vast majority began training because they were deeply insecure. This insecurity may have come about for various reasons. In many cases a person was bullied or physically threatened in some way, which is one of the most difficult things for the human psyche to ever come to terms with. In some cases, people were insecure because they were physically frail and martial arts seemed like a good way to become strong. I have met some who were insecure because of the way in which they had been brought up by their parents, and even those who felt insecure because they naturally lacked grace and poise. I feel that if the majority of us looked inside we would see that our training also came from a sense of deep insecurity, which was or is leaving a gaping hole in our inner being. If I look at myself as an example, I can understand this situation very well. I began training at age four because I was sent to the classes by my parents. At this age I was blissfully unaware of the stresses of life and so no major insecurities had developed. Consequently, I was not much interested in the arts and so I treated them as a casual hobby, somewhere I went in the evenings to play and throw my arms and legs in the air. This all changed as I got older and began to realise that other people possibly posed a threat. I have always been slight in stature, and as a child and young teen it made me a target for bullying. Here was the seed of insecurity that left its mark and drove me into a serious study of Karate-Do and then the Chinese systems. This insecurity has carried me through years of continuous training, and though I am close to dealing with my inner turmoil it is always a long journey — the mind is always reluctant to let go of the deepest injuries. The problem with these kinds of psychological aspects is that they tend to dictate each and every thing that we do. Our inner state becomes the standpoint from which we experience the outside world. It causes us to emotionally distort the way in which we act as our damaged psyche seeks to defend itself from further hurt. The spiritual traditions of the East have long understood this and so developed various systems of self-cultivation, which would enable a person to deal with their own being and so elevate themselves to a higher state. Martial arts was one such tool, or at least it has the potential to be so if used correctly. There is an inherent difficulty within the martial arts world and that is that the most insecure are the people who stay within the arts the longest. They are the ones whose inner nature sees the potential for change, even if they don't consciously understand what this crazy drive is that borders on obsession. This means that, almost inevitably, they become the teachers of the arts — those with the most experience and the most years of dedicated effort put into the arts. By the very nature of what it means to be a teacher, students will come to you and then look to you for guidance. On the surface they may be looking to you for martial technique, but subconsciously they are also looking for something else — a way to deal with that same insecurity that most likely led their newfound teacher into the arts in the first place. This is a responsibility that all teachers need to recognise and take on board. It was for these reasons that, classically, schools of martial arts, especially internal practices, would teach ethics alongside their arts. The view was basically that a person could be measured by their actions and the state of their Heart-Mind, not by the strength of their punch. Sadly, over the years this message was lost and, in my opinion, the ethics of martial arts are all but dead. Gong Fu has reached an all-time low of morality, etiquette and self-cultivation. Take a journey onto any martial arts forum and see the countless pages of arguments to see how true this is. As practitioners (and certainly as teachers) we need to remember that it was a deep-rooted insecurity that initially led us to these practices and that almost everybody in this community is coming from the same place. At this point maybe your brain is going, 'Rubbish, I am not insecure — what is he talking about?' If this is the case I would suggest that maybe you are one of the lucky few who are perfectly balanced or perhaps you need to look a little deeper inside and be a bit more honest with yourself. Why this is important is because if you constantly trash others and attack them either physically or verbally you are essentially damaging the other person's inner nature. Their insecurity is likely to become deeper no matter how hard they try to shake off what has been said or done. Each step towards weakening that person's inner nature is taking away from their development. Two people will enter into a conflict because one or both is trying to come to terms with their own insecurity. In order to validate their own stance and thus defend their fragile ego, they will argue until one is the perceived victor and one the loser. The 'winner' has confirmed the distorted viewpoint of his own nature in his own mind, whilst the 'loser' has been damaged even more deeply. This is certainly not an effective method of inner growth for either party. In modern times this is made even worse by the internet and martial arts forums. Here, insecure people can shout at others and try to validate their position whilst gathering around them other insecure people to prop up their fragile egos. A gathering of wounded egos attacking each other through typed words should be avoided at all costs lest the inner-growth aspect of martial arts be lost forever. This is why I never support martial arts competitions. In each case there must always be a 'winner' and a 'loser'. If, in a perfect world, competitions or challenges were between two people who mutually accepted that they were there to better their arts and themselves then competition could be a good thing. After a couple of years of taking part in martial arts tournaments I realised that this was sadly not the case. With each win my ego validated my own standpoint whether I was in the right or the wrong, and with each loss my sense of insecurity was etched more deeply into my being. With each competition I see, I witness the same process going on whether the participants are aware of this or not. Martial arts should abhor this kind of practice. In life you should never compete, but, at the same time, if you must fight you should not lose. Not losing and being competitive are not the same thing, and I believe more martial artists should spend time contemplating the differences between these two. This is the heart of the study that we undertake. I don't write this as a rant or an attack but as a thought process that I have been through lately after reading a few martial arts forums and seeing the processes taking place there. A martial arts forum is not somewhere you will ever see me contributing in any great length simply because I find the dynamics of what is taking place in these communities counter-productive to what I am seeking — inner development through the medium of martial arts study. I would urge sincere practitioners of a like mind to question themselves and their motives before getting involved in such places, as the ethical side of study needs to come back lest martial arts become a pale shadow of what they once were. Let us work together to further ourselves and our arts, not fight over things that really bear no importance to the nature of our inner development. A sense of insecurity can become the greatest fuel for a lifetime journey of self-cultivation and development or it can, sadly, lead us onto a path of egoistic distortion that helps nobody. That choice is ultimately ours alone.

Although the above essay is written from the perspective of martial arts, it could equally apply to many of us involved with dedicated spiritual practice. Insecurity and low self-esteem are certainly labels which now in retrospect I can accept about myself, although years ago I would have vehemently denied it. It takes a degree of inner security, of strength, to be able to admit weakness. And that’s what my multifaceted journey of inner cultivation has given me. I know for myself, admitting such weakness, though unpleasant, is a major step towards liberation. Specifically, it allows a deeply felt sense of compassion and humility both for myself and for other people. And without that my heart cannot begin to fully open. Damo wrote: “A sense of insecurity can become the greatest fuel for a lifetime journey of self-cultivation and development or it can, sadly, lead us onto a path of egoistic distortion that helps nobody. That choice is ultimately ours alone.” I would make one small change to this, namely change ‘self-cultivation’ to ‘Self-cultivation’. It’s definitely healthier to feel and acknowledge low self-esteem when one does not feel conscious connection with Self than to create a false sense of self based on, in Damo’s words, egoistic distortion. That merely gives a false sense of strength. Alas, such ego inflation is all too common; perhaps a necessary stage to pass through. It has been for me. Now I can smile in wry acknowledgement at the aptness of the imagery Western alchemists of old used to describe this stage of inner transformation. They called it their descension, their cineration, their pulverization, their death. That’s how it felt to me at the time. And that time went on for over a decade. Hence I can understand the massive shields our ego constructs to try to prevent what feels to the ego like a terrible calamity, something to be defended against at all costs. But true inner cultivation is all about gaining the strength to face this ordeal.

@hermes You seem to have the translation situation well covered. I have A Chinese Reading of the Daodejing by Rudolf Wagner and can confirm that it’s very much a book for specialist academic researchers. And Red Pine's is the only edition I've come across with a wide selection of Chinese commentaries, albeit, as you note, in very brief form. My only further suggestions are: A comprehensive essay by Alan Chan titled, The Daodejing and its Tradition, which I added to this forum a while back: https://www.thedaobums.com/topic/40989-the-daodejing-and-its-tradition/ Also, if you haven’t read the highly influential commentaries by Wang Bi’s and Heshang Gong, I recommend these two translations: Richard John Lynn, The Classic of the Way and Virtue: A New Translation of the "Tao-te ching" of Laozi as Interpreted by Wang Bi Dan G Reid, The Heshang Gong Commentary on Lao Zi's Dao De Jing I have about a dozen translations of the Daodejing and gained much insight from the various interpretations. When I first joined Dao Bums there was plenty of discussion of the text and I very much liked that then. Although it’s no longer my focus, your interest may spur new discussion. I’d like to see that on the forum but it’s unlikely I’d join in myself.

I can't comment on that because I haven't seen it. However, going back to your previous disparaging comment on Jung, I would have hoped that you of all people would hold Jung in high regard because it was Jung's letter to Bill W explaining how he considered alcoholism to be a spiritual disease that led Bill W to found the 12 step fellowship of AA.

I totally agree with you about the importance of myth. Jung writes extensively on it and one of his key projects was to bring back to life the stagnant Christian myth which has become moribund through the rigid dogma of the church. My own personal myth is something slowly being revealed to me. I too was brought up in an atheistic household and have only come to appreciate the richness of religion because of its relevance to my own inner experience. But I’ll say no more now on this topic of vital importance to me other than, for me, the channel that allows heartfelt contact in the sense you’re referring to as prayer, is what Daoists call xuanpin. I plan on slowly adding more content to the topic I’ve started by that name in the Daoist section. So far, when posting material there, I've felt like I'm being at my most authentic.

This post of yours has stayed in the back of my mind for two main reasons, namely your use of the term ‘spiritual certainties’, and your comment on the concealed dualism of Christian monotheism. I’ve heard said that almost everyone comes to religion looking for the certainty it brings, and only a tiny few come looking for deeper truths. Jung has given me certainty of a special kind; the knowledge that working with uncertainty is intrinsic to the path of finding wholeness. What he's given me is a conceptual framework that embraces uncertainty and gives tools to navigate my way through it. To gain an overview of Jung’s complex insights and the terminology he uses to describe them, such as ‘the unconscious’, ‘archetypes’, ‘individuation’ etc, a person needs to read his works. And, of course, no need to do this unless one feels drawn to him. He develops his themes over the course of many decades and makes no attempt to simplify or systemise because, as he himself expressed it: “The language I speak must be ambiguous, must have two meanings, in order to do justice to the dual aspect of our psychic nature. I strive quite consciously and deliberately for ambiguity of expression, because it is superior to unequivocalness and reflects the nature of life. My whole temperament inclines me to be very unequivocal indeed. That is not difficult, but it would be at the cost of truth. I purposely allow all the overtones and undertones to be heard, partly because they are there anyway, and partly because they give a fuller picture of reality. Unequivocalness makes sense only in establishing facts but not in interpreting them; for ‘meaning’ is not a tautology but always includes more in itself than the concrete object of which it is predicated. “ He conceived of our psyche (mind in the greater sense) as a system of energy flows and for energy to flow there needs to be polarity. Thus, like Daoism, he focused on gaining insight into the polar opposites that energise our psyche. And these polar opposites form the bedrock of our mostly unconscious psyche and must be felt and embraced with insight to find wholeness; the Self. “The unconscious is not just evil by nature, it is also the source of the highest good: not only dark but also light, not only bestial, semihuman, and demonic but superhuman, spiritual, and, in the classical sense of the word, ‘divine’.” Compare this to what he says about God: All opposites are of God, therefore man must bend to this burden; and in so doing he finds that God in his 'oppositeness' has taken possession of him, incarnated himself in him. He becomes a vessel filled with divine conflict. We rightly associate the idea of suffering with a state in which the opposites violently collide with one another, and we hesitate to describe such a painful experience as being ‘redeemed'. Yet it cannot be denied that the great symbol of the Christian faith, the Cross, upon which hangs the suffering figure of the Redeemer, has been emphatically held up before the eyes of Christians for nearly two thousand years. This picture is completed by the two thieves, one of whom goes down to hell, the other into paradise. One could hardly imagine a better representation of the ‘oppositeness’ of the central Christian symbol. Why this inevitable product of Christian psychology should signify redemption is difficult to see, except that the conscious recognition of the opposites, painful though it may be at the moment, does bring with it a definite feeling of deliverance. It is on the one hand a deliverance from the distressing state of dull and helpless unconsciousness, and on the other hand a growing awareness of God's oppositeness, in which man can participate if he does not shrink from being wounded by the dividing sword which is Christ. Only through the most extreme and most menacing conflict does the Christian experience deliverance into divinity, always provided that he does not break, but accepts the burden of being marked out by God. In this way alone can the imago Dei realize itself in him, and God become man.