Kubba

See, now you care and talk like mother do . So now you are mother too(Joking) Just wanted to make some juicy metaphore. Lets don't go offtopick, but thanks for advices

Oh well, that was just part of my evolution, I do not consider it good or bad. It brought me where it brought me.I do not deny logic thinking. It is important function of our mind, that allows us to function, to express our experiences and put it the way that can be understand for others. Its not my believe in deities, its more devotion now. And deities are just names and forms made in order to express something that was experienced by someone. Each one is just an aspect of Existence that we can preceive through our physiology. Yet why not to call these aspects by names of deities? There is a lot of beuty to it.and when you see it then you see it as real being. And you dont see it as a kind of mental structures, but in front of your eyes and you understand it theough your whole body. It shakes your phisiology and puts you on the ground for hours. Mother is just an aspect of it. Originally "Ma" or "Amma". These energies function within our psychological structures too, so this language can be used to utilyse different egotic structures. Thats what tantra does. I dont disagree with you. To some degree you have right talking about believes, and I understan your point of view. And tou seem to be a perfect devotee of your philosophy. Thats your reality but for me this logic is like a dry pussy when you want to fuck

Karl, Thats just logic of discursive thinking, if A then B. But honestly speaking these energetic qualities of mother and other kind of Shakti like Kali, Bhairavi, Sundari, are things that are presented to you in different stages of spiritual evolution. You just see it in the world around you. Its not some religious wongabonga but just traditional language that can be use to describe these manifestations That you simply see as you see your hands. And language itself is also this manifestation. In the moment when you notice for the first time in your life the food on your plate - how it is alive and how it was delivered to you through the divine mother you will just have tears in your eyes (how stupid I was thinking that it is differently, yet she was always here, feeding me, even if I did not believed in her, even treating her badly), and you will be just thankfull. After that realisation you will never again doubdt in it, and hearing someone telling that it is different than that you will just stay sillent, biting your lips, or you will say it out loud. You will never again throw any trash on the street, perhaps you will even grab some trash from the street and put it wher it should be putten. A child cries and says bad things to you, but as a parent you just do what needs to be done, discriminating and ignoring any kind of ignorance. You will preceive that there is something else that talks to you through other people's Mouth. The same way you will see our planet. I know that it can sound strange or stupid for someone, but thats how I see it and it is not free interpretation of scripts. I remember myself trying to define the world by some constant, elegant logic as you try to do. And I really believed in it and tried to convince others, but then it just went astray after a few events, and now this way of thinking just pisses me off, and it apears harmfull.

Heh, I think you're not mother

Where you get the food from? Mother feeds you - when you are 1 year old, and when you're 30.All is mother, not only the planet earth. Did you know that your brain structure depands on the solar system structure at the day of your birth?

Mother loves all her children, yet she have different faces- some terrifying. The worse for me is not what we do to ourselves but to other species (and for what reason). Yesterday I've been watching dehorned rhinos....

Thats only partialy true. A best known selling pith of non-dual teachings. Usually propagated theough half-baked teachers that talk from witness state of consciousness. Usually its just lying to oneself.If that would be only truth, then there would be no need for practice.

Kundalini operates through prana. Intent and willpower are actually aspects of shakti not personal means. Every desire is desire of shakti. Main desire is to unite with shiva. Utilisation of desires is tantra. Along with surrendering, cleaning of nadis comes. It is natural process, there is no doing here nor techniques. All techniques are mimicked from this natural process. Teacher is requirement not a choice. And there is a reason for that. Prana shakti is tha name given to prana after awakening, where this particular prana shakti washes the system and transforms the body mind

Nisargadatta Maharaj was often pissed off by his students. "You don't know Brahman - get the fuck out of here" was not unussuall to hear from him. And he wasn't in the witness state of consciousness, but in the unity.

What is the purpose of your celibacy? It was necessary or you just choosed to?

Drugs, alcohol ....is wrong way to go... Some can say that everything is for people yet, since you want to be cosmic more than human.... It just does not serve I had simmilar experience to yours but not after taking any kind of drug. It was also related to huge sensivity and connection to women. Sometimes standing few meters from a woman and feeling her really strongly, sometimes looking into one woman eyes on Skype I was so connectedon that I could as if fuck her and she felt it. It lasted some weeks then it just subsided. Not sure it thats what you had experienced but there was a huge anxiety accompanied at times with huge headpains too. Then there was a break through that looked like psychosis and It all just subsided. I've herd from my guru that some drugs can temporary evoke spiritual experiences

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Oh, now it is clear to me that you've been practicing for years. That's interesting what you say about dis - possessing. It has happened on its own or you decided to get rid of your possesions? (or identification with possesions). Have to admitt that I myself have problems with dealing with money. On one hand I kind of lost sense of their importance, but there is still this anxiety (or maybe just commonsense down to earth) - weather I will be able to care about myself or no.

Llll

Oh, thats my English... I meant more sth like oscilation of head, that is often seen in Ramana's videos for example. I saw it in more than one spiritual person to different degree so am just curious. Some gurus also got different movements or shakes in the body (that loks like kriya), that can be noticed if one spends some ore time in their presence or even durring longer darshans, but hard to capture it on you tube . Its interesting phenomeon

Do you experience sometimes involuntary movements in the physical body? Like jerks or head spining...

There is always something about the face of a Guru. Firts you see something, and investigate it, then after some time you just see her or his face alone in your inner eye and you are just happy

Hi

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Thinking this way is Only partial truth. There is also embodiment of this true required

They don't think that they are superior. They even are sometimes embarrased by their knowledge. Its you whou thinks this way. Usually someone who had controlling and aggresive father or mother by tendency recognise in others a possible danger of taking power over them. Thats where a need of liberation of autorities shows up

I've benn once to Barry's Brigs Q&A from Zen cambridge center. Someone asked about congans - one teacher said to this student that his answer confan X is good, then some time later, another teacher asked him the same congan and he gave the same answer that previous teacher approved and this time it was wrong. Barry answeared, that there is no good answer. The function of congan is breaking up the pattern of intellectuall understanding. In this gapes the mind opens up and is one with the cosmos for a moment. Then it tries to find something out back again or grasp that, so one gets another congan that again breaks up patterns of intelectuall understanding. Peoples tendency is to believe that the only one way to understand thing is through intelectuall discourse of language. We were taught to function this way since children. But when one drops the mind then other kind of understanding happends that is not dualistic. One looks at particular situation and one just knows deeply whats going on- even whats going on inside of the mind of intrlocutor and why he says what he says, so the empathy occures even when its all bullshit. So if one would know what the master actually knows about you, you wold have red face in a second. Its mind blowing abstraction for an oridynary person. Minds discursive intellect comparing to that power is like an ant against an elephant. It is as if believing that thougt process is all there is, but actually it is just one small part of something much greater and simpler...

And since one belives that one is a thing, limited to the body, then one will die:)