Kubba

It will vanish. Nothing harmfull for your body will happend. Let it be, don't do anything. Making story about it or tryi g to do sth can lead to wrong assumption and psycho states , field tested. Skin can stay purple for some days, take a look on your neck in the mirror or take a picture - aso can change the colour. After some time it will dissapear. Pulling, strange sensations, pulsating veins etc. Hormns shoting like crazy, all normal. Forcing anything can be dangerrous. Dont harm yourself. When feeling bad go to the doctor - really. Just stay calm and let your body work, thats the best, it can look dramatic sometimes but just dont panick dont be afraid. I went through it and am alive and happy, nothing bad will happen to you. It has its own inteligence withouth your help. Sometimes making sound with your throath can help to soften the enrgy. It might feel like dying, just keep calm, otherwise you will have panick attacks. Singing simple sounds with different vibrations that are stimulati g these places (use intuition). Avoid making stupid things, dont listen to your mind's clues about what to do next or what is required - all is wrong. Some movements that will make the tension gone can help, just it, just some simple exercises (TRE for example). Observe yourself, dont let yourself go crazy about it, dont force to stop. Say if sth changed

What if there is as much realities as there is people? each person has differently proggressed consciousness, each person has a bit differently developed senses, different seeing, different smelling ability. Funny part is that there is no dimensions. When you look with your eyes and you pay enought attention you would notice also that objects in your field of viev are slighty changing their shapes cause your eye is round, so objects are slightl deformed. There is this soup, and then you can make use of it by counting, biting, cutting, checking, investigating. All is fun

What would happend if you knee? Actually bowing would be even better. Jesus was not Catholic nor had he died. Bowing or kneeing is for other reason and they do not belong to any religion. "Religion" is more a path to the same thing. Anyone who reached it can describe his path and then people will start to call it religion - better then other offcourse. I would say that not every religion matches each cultural background. Hitting with a stick an European while he sits on the pillow - not fun. Some cathedras have good energy for practice - why not try? I know one Christian place where people regullary receive spontaneous Kundalini rising after pilgrimage to this place (as if receiving shaktipat from the place). But with the same regularity they missunderstand it and ends up in psychiatric clinique next to this churh...

Any thoughts? Romantic love is overestimated. I gues, a true relationship washes trough some deep subconscious blocks and conditioning. Like a real test. Sounds selfish?

In Poland we have an idiom that says "Dream - Mara, God - belief" (Sen - Mara, Bóg - wiara)

Spotless, thank you for your answer. Now I see how it arose within me - the disorientation as you said, I was really trying to name it cause of fear, or understand, but then it was simpy changing from day to day - from very strong feelings, taking off my ablity to speak, to very slight feelings, moving my body or changing the breath. Even my psyhiatrist said that he can't identify what had happened to me and he is amazed how quickly it went out, but he recommends to take some neuro-active medicines for 2 years - haha. I only had some contact with teachers, but only staying in their presence, cause I was to embarrased with talking about it. And my practice was so to say post factum to some spriritual events I experienced withouth even knowing whats going on - I was just trying to understand what had happened to me, and it changed int psychiatric hospital experience (PHE ). So all this, cause of my lack of knowledge, looked like really some kind of a mental ilness - problems with memorry, planning started to be impossible, giving my expensive stuff to people for free , seeing world in a different way than so far, some abilities to see peoples carma (is it real or it is just my imagination?) etc. It gets my familly allarmed, and me myself just left confused - wtf is going on with me? BUt thank you for explanation, it gives me some clarification to this unknow whatever it is, ad some relieve from analysing tooo. THanks a lot. TRE is a kind of exercise that uses the throath ability for healing but profesionalists explain it other way. Funny thing - I was somehow doing it spontaneously when in psychiatric hospital - then, after hmy hospitality this monk showed me a video how to practice TRE, and it looked pretty the same as my spontaneous "exercises" that I copied to some degree from my mothers cats.... (withouth even a sighn thaat people are doing it as a serious threatment - rather I thought Ihave some problems with my coordination...) And you do it lying down. First you need to fatigue the muscles that are close to pelvis and feet for some minutes, then you lie down in an open position with a pillow under your head. Then some spontaneous relase of some parts of personality is happening, through differents shaking, voice emission (vibrations of the body), that sometimes in my case sounds as a bell sound. You end up siting in samadhi, but they call it deep relaxation. Sometimes, while doing it some scenes of your past are comming to your consciousnes - these that are related to some emotional shock, or just some old tapes are passing through your mind. Usually there is no pictures so you dont even know exactly what your body is cleaning of. Looks like that

Spotless, What are your thoughts on temporary mental ilnesses, that happend allong the way? I had some experiences along the way, some of them includes "mu" and golden light coming to your head from above before the "mu" period. With before a moment called traditionally heath chakra being pierced. Then some psychosis come, but am comming out of it. Seems like some channels with storred fears are cleaning and after reaching psychossis like state it is more and more settle levels and some changes within the body follows. It is accompanied with a lot of pressures in my head in different parts. I talk with one monk so he recommended me visiting some ajurvedic medic and doing some TRE exercises to relieve all traumas and fears, including these of the childhood from the body and tendences memmory. Still feels like dying so it brings some unplessant feelings and thoughts, but seem am getting better psychologically, but I stopped to do any practice exept of this body work, and when I spontaneusly fall into samadhi after some exercises I also dont force to stop. Just waiting to become stable, and maybe back into practice in some months when fears will Sth with my hemispheres happened after this paychosiss, cause from being lefthanded I became righthanded, and a lot of feelings of different sort are comming through my system. As if old patterns of ego being cleaned up and comming to my conscious mind. Any thoughts?

For me it works when carring about my body. Aromatherapy- buy some essential oils (lemon, bergamote, lavender, mandarin) good, quality food, quality oils, almonds. Wear bright colours, eat some good deassert, hang a talisman with mother marry on your neck. Pray to your guardian angel in the midst of panick, repeat a few times. These fears simply will wanish. Just wait untill they gone, dont act stupid or harmfull things even if your mind brings some solutions. It simply needs to be faced but you can help with making yourself safe and delightfull

As in the question. After some deep psychosis lime episodes durring kundalini flow on some lefel my hernia activated and it weaken my belly. Seems it is better with time but I have it since some years and for 1 mont it beame problematic. Any thoughts?

I dont know what kind of hernia is it, but it seems as if weakening or disrupting my balance point of my body. It is small, but feels as if sth prolapsing as you said, so I push it back, then make some postures come. One surgent saw it and said that it is only a kind of fat tissues moving throught some gap, but with time it will wanish and trying surgery might bring more problems than actually are, and includes cutting of the belly button in one scenario. Since my throath is active some spontaneous yoga like movements and postures and sth with breath about it, bonds of towel or bows come that seems threatening it, and also feels like there is also some weakness within my spine on the level of this hernia (but in my back). I ask here cause dont want add more interpretations than its needed so I just ask if someone went through it, or have some thoughts on it, or if its deadly ? Only less than one cubic centimeter of tissue moving

I think that the purpose of weapon in sacred marshal arts might be in the first place for finding the body ballance while kryia oppening and sharpening the masculine aspect, then killing...

It is just the fear of death asking the question. Will I be the cookie and have the cookie? You only can be the cookie, that will be eaten. Just enjoy being digested. otherwise you will die This what people are reffering to are normal phases of revealing for some cases. Seems like you are, and you are not, or suffer of some mental dissease, just don't be crazy anout it. It is just some kind of beutifull dance to dance out to the end.

First of all- I will answer your last question - obviously you ask from the ego standpoint. Things will happen on its own. You won't have anything that you can keep with yourself for some time or not hahaha. At that point there would be no such question that you asked - to stay somewhere and enjoy or don't. Probably in some moment's you will not know what to do and if you are somewhere or you are not anywhere at all hahah. If there would be such question anywhere on the path it may lead to problems and illusions that you get somewhere and now you have it. For some it is just necessary part. Seems that the path and the way everything unfolds is individual and related to individual tendencies. Important- The path can't be forced! Never listen to any advices of "rising something". It may lead you to serious problems. When things will come, it will unfolds its own natural way. Have your own common sense. It will save your live and take out of troubles and don't let you go mad. Sometimes you will have to negleckt the advices of gurus or people you think should had some impact on you, and that you should obey. Meditate, meditate, meditate on breath for example. Make it a strong and pleasurable habit. No, don't make it a habit. A moments when youre totally present. Learn about 5 hindrances and samadhi. Don't bring too much attention to phenomenas rising in meditation, but also don't neglect them nor negate. Some of them are important, will encourage you, bring understanding and will lead you home. An aware teacher, if you tell him about phenomenas can ensure youwhats going on or put some correction or show the point to look at. So you wont be afraid too much. Some transformations will be so quick that you will understand them days, weeks or months after. You might think at some parts that you know something, but then there would be another level of unfolding... You can't predict. Just devote to Shakti and trust, fighting against is like putting some force that will hit you back with adequate amount of force, cause you are doing it to yourself anyway. Devotion - there might be different teachings what devotion is. Devote to Shakti in the form that is attractive to you. Some teachings might suggest to negleckt or deny the Shakti aspect, but it can just bring troubles or temporary madness, Shakti will remind of herself some way. It might be resonable to look at different teachers with understanding that the awakening happend a bit different way to each person., or they look at these processes from doffernt conditioning so these teaxhings aond different way while they reffer to the same thing. Also true can be that some people did not experience different transformations while others do, some notice different parts others don't. There are just points along the way that shows the footsteps of ancestors, and they show you that you are at the right path. For some people all happends in one moment but it's extreamly rare (what scriptures say) so be prepared that it will take some time this process, and that noone will understand you but trust it fully and commit fully. Walk the walley of death. Understand that each teacher talk from his own experience and that these experiences may vary. Can be even a real woman, relationshim can evoke a real movement of energy. Try to find your own heart. Devote to love. Devote to finding out what the heart feeling and sensation is, how your hear reacts. It will react particullar ways to some teachins or some imaginations or even perspectives. Trust it completely. Love yourself. Accept yorself fully. Care about yourself, care about your body. All about your body is precious and clean. There is no dirty part wheather in your body nor in you psyche. But there might be parts that are not touched or discovered yet and not united yet fully. Find your heart and then your heart will gradually purify/ unite energies on different levels. Fear - be prepared thst it will come. There is nothing to be afraid. You can learn some simple mantra related to breath Anhor a strong sense of being safe when repeating this mantra. When things might become scarry just repeat it. Fear need to be faced completely too, unless the one that is required to face. Nothing will happend to you. You are safe. Learn to have a strong sense of trust in yourself. Teacher - the crucial point. It's good thing to find one. Wheather you need answers from him/her or not - it will be a good practice to meditate sometimes in the presence of an enlightened being/s. Also just look at him, inhale the energy around. It's all about vibration and transmission of it. You might think that you did not get anything from him, but then... Brahhmacharya - learn anout it, experiment with transmuting sexual energy and with moving sexual energy upwards while sexual pleasure and orgasm. Try orgasm withouth ejaculation. Sexual part can't be avoided. Celibacy is not the case too. But don't put too much effort into it. Jist try, get a taste of this practice. When it will be needed you wil find out and it will find its own way. Hiding or avoiding it will just make it horrifying to some degree cause all hidden thing will buble up. Drugs - meditate on death. Buddha said about 3 reasons of suffering. Meditate on that. There is self destructive force in every human, the degree varies but it shovs up in all self destructive actions/ thoughts/ impulses. It will clean by its own. You will understand why you take and why it brings tension between The impulse of taking drugs and then feeling guilty or wanting to stop. There is some force required, but you can't fight with it unless it will be fully faced. You might forcefully stop taking drugs, but this potential is there so it will find its own way out anyway haha. Just face it, everything rhat is related to your addictions. Experiment, stop it and observe, then you probably will back- observe. Always observe, there are very slight mechanisms of feelings, sensations actions and thoughts leading to take some shrooms. no part of You is impure orginally. Purification will happen on its own and its other sort of purification than one can imagine. Impurity is only the conditioning of the mind that covers the original view so that you can't see the true nature. Then taking drugs or no is simple haha. Diet - this am not quite sure, but more oily diet can help making transformations more smoth. Sometimes things will change from day to day 180 degree. The physical body needs some fire too and tutrients to support. Your brain and nervous system will be transformed, give food to it. It likes high quailty oils. The lchf diet is quite good. In some moments grains are helpfull to but not required. Trust your body in some points. Sometimes you might not eat for some days others you will eat junk and it will be okay too, but have this common sense what is actually going on and what is the illusion. Pain - be friend with it. Allow it to happend, but offcourse ensure yourself and sometimes go to the doctor to check if everything is okay. There might be moments when something will bring you to the ground... And your bones will be counted. Literally. But don't believe me either and find out for yourself, some things I talk about might not come at all or happend more intensive looking even as if psychodelic episodes. Always have your common sense in the midst of all experiences. Always be prepared for everything. When it will be done, you will know its done. Before that moment don't fall into believe that you have achieved sth (bit you will anyway hahah). Wish you all the best

I would say that there is trust, distrust, and different degrees of trust in between of total trust and total distrust. One, in some phases of waking up, after spending hours or days just doing things, just walking around just forgeting about everything, will notice that all this happened without one's will to do anything or participate in anything. Will appears more as a kind of contraction within the phosiology of body-mind complex. Different contractions with different power, different impact on particular regions of body functioning, and different durration of fading away. Depression can often be missinterpretation. After some insights beggins just a naturall process of throwing "old" patterns out of the system. It might looks as if depression and one, withouth right understanding can believe that sth is going wrong, cause of accumulated pain, slowly (or quickly) coming out and impossible to avoid anymore. But offcourse it might be a simple depression just overestimated as awakening . Some processes start with depression or emotional imbalance. One day you are a perfect example of psychological health, another day you appear as if a total crazy person, suffering of anything that someone say to you. Also bodily temporary disfunctions or symtoms of ilnesses shoe but then you visit a doctor and he says that he can't see anything. Then after time, you can't say there was sth like a will. It was just misunderstanding of a process that looks more like seeds planting, growing and dying. Then impacting the body-mind with adequate contractions and oppenings. Then you might laught

What you wrote here can sound scarry for some people, but when things are comming, some kind of intuition will follow, that will help you to organise your life to receive it more or less adequate way, not harming yourelf or others, but offcourse you can't be sure, hehhe/ You will know that sth will happend, and that you need to find a place to rest or people to receive some transmission that you are yet missing. The place will be found, the people that will help you somehow, even withouth they knowing that they helped also. You might meet some enlightened teachers and receive the transmission withouth even talking directy to them. Things can be recognised withouth direct pointing to anything. It might help with calming you down and feel safe, cause some things you might not be ready to receive, but they are here, so what you can do? hehe Then you will know what is required to balance particullar chakras, and what is the point you are in, and that you need the time. And it can last more than one weekend hahaha. You know the final taste but inderstand too that things need to be fully embodied, but you won't know what will come next, some insights you had before can show the direction, and what more or less wil happend, so you just wait, calming, cleaning. The work and the money part in nowadays society is also crucial part. It's highly possible You will be unable to work, nor exist in your familiar enviroment of familly or friends. Nowadas it's hard to go and live in forest or a cave for some time (even if you fire up the google map and find some spot, that lies far away form people, there is possibility, that people will ask questions, and telefon will ring. If you cut it, they will start to look for you, worried, not understanding, and you can't expain) In worse case scenario, depanding on the time that is required to finnish the process, you can end up in place for people with some psychological problems. You will be clasified as another crazy guy. And you will not care too much either about money or work. I believe, that in the past you might be simply killed by people around you of they notice and start to be curious. Nowadays its also possible, cause someone can start to "cure you" and you don't know jow it can end up, and there could not be possibility to run away. So places that are proffesionally prepared for receiving you might be cool, and lessen the possibility of your death or any kind of troubles untill you will learn how to live in the world....

Well, I would say that one need to be carrefull even among buddhists! Somehow it happened to me that after some period of intensive practice I started to experience very dramatic body movements, spasms, different sound emmission, very loud laughting (meaning veryveryvery). I did not know wher it came from, I did not ask for it nor I even tried to let it happend. THere is deep understanding of the process when it shows up (kundalini and prana movements), you know where the mantra "om" comes from, you kow how they invented asanas, mudras and sexual tantra, and you know that everything is okay even if your experiences can look strange for people around you. It can even look as if you were dying, or having some psychodelic episodes. So you are not afraid to much, but these experiences are so unusuall and unpredictable, that I just went to the forest close to the temple where I was practicing to let it burn out. I spent there one week in order not to bother people nor being bothered, sometimes comming back to the temple to drink some water and sleep some hours until it wake me up and called back to the forest. The last day of these psychodelic like "dancing and singing" the abbot came to my room, before I left to the forest and started to ask stupid questions about whats going on with me. I tried to hide, but he entered to my room by force. At that moment I could not control myself, so kryia movements and different laughting or singing "OM' on different tones and very loud continued in front of him. It was very hard to talk to anyone even if I heard them and could understand. He suggested that he will call the ambulance or some psychological support. Then he brought some other person and did not let me leave my room just making my process more complicated. Then he called the formal teacher of that temple to tell me something about, thinking that I may bend or calm down in face of someone having some power in the school. But the teacher did not know what is it even after my explanations, he just suggested hospitall. It lasted maybe 6 hours with them, sad and includes checking my stuff in order to find drugs and calling my familly in order to sell them a story that I have some serious psychological problems. My opinion is that people in such places, placed in big citties can be not preparred the right way for meditators. They are okay for fancy meditators and selling big words, but when real things come they don't know what to do and panick. They can confuse normal effects of meditation with psychic problems, and if you are not strong enought and dont understand you can even believe them. Going there in the midst of rising of your energy can be even dangerous for one's health. Someone that has experienced hard kryias can say that controlling them, or even stopping by force can produce some temporary ilness. While they come and tried to controll me and not let me leave the place alone a tumor grew on my neck under my ear, and I knew the reason of it, but how to explain it to close minded people called themselves zen buddhists? So I just used the right moment and run out of the place into the forest and started to laught so strong that almost loosing conciousness but it was required to relase the body of some tension to be able then to drive the car. They offcourse run behind me, chasing me. What could I do? THen I had to go to my home and spend 2 more days in forest, to let the turmor vanish. They even told me that there was one woman, that had simillar experiences that I had, and they sent her to the hospital and there, they injected some "medicine" into her body, to let her relax. She achieved some psychological problems after it. Poor girl. How is it possible? I have no idea, I always thought that places called "temples" are "proffesional". I was not prepared for all this. I just say that for people not to believe to much in someones oppinion about your practice, and not be afraid when something literally starts to count your bones one after another. Its too late to run away so just let it happend, give up controll, the gorilla will fuck you, you cant do anything about it. Be also carrefull with listening to advices of people that had spend many years practicing meditation. They often can be more close-minded than an average person that has meditated only for one week. Someones achievements or the sense of achievements is just another bullshit. That abbot had practiced for more than 30 years and had no idea whats going on! I don't mind, but better don't count too much on other people. There is deep understanding inside you that is better to follow if you don't have a good guru in front of you. People are crazy and can harm you with their ignorance. Often it is better to pretend that you are stupid and don't know anything. And I just want you to be carrefull with choosing places when going to retreats and so on. it can be crucial thing if you don't want someone chase after you in the forest. cheers

If required, some kind of stick will hit you anyway. Also there is a time for you to hit the master

And then the zen master gets sued cause of "hitting people with a big stick". Police agent said that the master's explanation was: - he gave the wrong answer! The problem is big. Investigation shows that all around the world there are people called masters and they hit people cause they give wrong answers. Evidences show that some of these sticks are giant, and can seriously injure the body and even the brain. People are afraid to open their mouths. The goverment did not yet decided what to do with this case. The society is shocked.

These movements do not mean anything special. Body points to its origins. Using drugs to evoke these things is more than stupid cause brings some special esoteric meanings to things that are natural like breathing. What special about the breath? Do one need any special knowledge or guru instructions to inhale and exhale? What is the difference between breath and hands movements besides someones interpretations? Haha Btw- bows are also not invented by anyone, noone took drugs nor went into trance to make them and then tell people to bow durring ceremonies. there are reasons in the body to bend this way and touch the ground with your forhead, withouth using hands. body just knows, thats all the mystery, someone just introduced them to people to be simply more connected but better to make some special storries and interpretations about it...

By the way - can you answer what "mu" means and where it cones from? (I don't mean the history of kongan) The word kryia I found after these things. Before and durring it I did not really know any names of these processes. I did not know any yoga systems. While it going on I just knew what these things are cleaning from the body and how particullar movements and sounds work for cleaning, cause one can simply sense it and understand how everything is related to the proces, but its hard to explain it to someone. It still lasts I can tell, ego trips still show, but its more related to throath and ceasing the "throath breathing", and all mind things that are rooted into breathing patterns, but am not sure if thats the right terminology. Then you see an angry dog, and then how he twistes his body on the ground and then yaws, and you understand what he just did and why it is happy and relaxed now. Then you see a human being angry and you see the difference and modifications added to the body in order to carry the ego. Shit!! Im not sure about mudras, maybe they clean some gesticulation memory of the ego within body. People , usually move hands and fongers when talki g and acting or having emotions Some days after these processes in the temple I read somewhere this word - kryia and what it describes. When knowing it I could say the difference between ego and this process, I could say, cause when I try to evoke these processes of curiosity they cease. when some mind things like guilt or pride or anger shows I can work with them, and body, especially facial muscles, breathing patterns, throath tension and eyes movements related to them somehow relaxes. For example after writing that email, or after talking to some member of my familly. I guess the deepest part of ego, that are rooted in the body-mind are activated by parents. Actually it somehow works like that: egotic patterns show, then the cleaning follows, changing the breathing patterns and some tensions show, that came from in body representations of particular ego-pattern and the balancing force. But it does not bother people around me anymore cause It is very soft, cant be notice by others, and when its more drastic I know I just have to leave for some moments. With time these ego trips are very slight, almost can't be noticed. Now it's more on throath level and superego. So am not fully ballanced yet in my action. And talking about it sometimes brings a slight exaltation and then embarasment of this exaltation.

Karma is a fluid thing. Someone can sense where your life leads to (or where do you lead your life to, which is more acurate). But this sensing is in the moment. The next day you could do sth that has changed your karma direction, or purified some things, so you no longer long for the experience of death. Then this person, looking at your behaviour can say that there are different things leading your life now. To some degree everyone are craving deeath, and are afraid of it the same time. One of 3 reasons of suffer (according to buddha) is the desire to destroy yourself. This is a strong drive, leading to different addictions etc. Some people also organise their lives to find the death more effective. Haha Just see throught it. Sometimes simple chanting and bowing practice can change these karmic seeds Besides, the fear of death sooner or later need to be uncovered and experienced. It cant harm you, it is just some sensation or feeling driving your body to act particular way. You karma can actually only look for experiences to face that fear and this way to purify of it. It can be a good sighn, not leading to death at all but just to experiences that fire these fears of your mind to be purified of them. Think of it - for a child loosing parents equals death. Under it it lies a strong fear. Parents and society can manipulate your behaviour with evoking this fear by different threats. You cry in the market, the mother can say sth- stop or I will leave you here. After some times you become trained well, hehe. Then you can do it to yourself just by imagining different threaths. Is it real at all? No. But this fear lies there as a series of strong emotions and body tensions + breathing patterns. It just need to be experienced sooner or later, nothing bad will happend.

youre right, but it was impossible while it happening (or I did not know how to stop). I did not know what's going on, what is the game, it was lakie putting a newborn pappy in front of the aligator, cause did not have any experiences like that, nor even imagined, nor having any suggestions from my teacher or books what can come. Could not stop it, just calm it a bit to calm these people too, and calm my body a bit until I get some privacy. Somehow I believed that the abbot knew whats going on, and just pretended in front of the other ones that he didnt, but I overestimated his understanding. I was stupid too and arogant to some degree. Of what I know, they saw simillar things, and are used to it so they just waited me to leave. I had contact with them through e-mail after these episodes, and they seemed not moved to much, so noone was harmed I guess. I'm just another crazy guy that they can look at from the perspective of their "strong and stable practice". But understanding of how it can affect others came after some troubles with trying to explain....

When listening to different teachers that proclaim to be self realised seems to be clear that they talk about 2 or 3 different things/ states. All of them say offcourse that this is the final enlightenment. So what is the truth? I don't know. What I see, there are people that saw the nature of emptiness and then forget it and people who saw and could not forget. Both call it ultimate self realisation but one of them will be reborn and the others not. Am I right? Where the truth lies in simple explanation?

Yes, but I don't talk about it. 1) They say that the ultimate human nature is an empty mind and living in now withouth believe in self. 2) But then there is sth more to realise after achieving it. What I say is that one teachers say that 1) is true and others say 2) is.

What for all this?