Kubba

Thinking is thinking - basically this or that and the attention follows. But do you know this through experience or through thinking that you are?

Do you think too, that you are?

This thing withouth a teacher isnt a good practice. From the starting point of the practice people are already somehow self contracted and got tendencies that are deeply rooted into muscle, hormonal and sceleton level. They lerned how to make themselves pleasure and they are not aware that they do it. The good teacher can preceive it and will show the right way. And this kind of practice puts a lot of pressure onto natural mechanisms of the body. The stress will be utilised the way that the body can, but it wont look pretty, and can harm yourself, cause sexuall energy will go somewhere, and usually unpredctible way. You can have realy bad head aches, prostate pains. There are conections in abdomen muscles and tissues to genitals and contractions of this area, so they will be tensions there and pains. Also there are patterns in your hand that you use to masturbate and there are blockages there too- along the hand, fingers, arm, in the back and in your heart area. In the face and sculp, the muscles that moves ears up and down... Even in your throat and the neck. In your dick too, cause the hand stimulates only the one way and usually promoting some regions of the organ and others dont (change your hand and you will se that you almost dont know how to give yourself pleasure, but it will break the pattern a bit). Also there are things going on in your legs and usually in one of them more than with other and is related to your hand. Vagina takes care better, and is build better way than the hand . Accumulated sexuall pressure can be transmuted through simple exercise. When inhaling imagine the energy moving upwards along the spine from the level of anus, prostate, and leaves the head upwards, when exhaling the energy goes from above of the head through the front of the body downwards and goes to the dantien level under your tummy. After some times you cal learn to do it and actually feeling the wnergy traveling but never overdose, nor make storries about it. This blurping into your abdomen when your sexual energy is healed happends sometimes and wont bring stres, you will be able to have multiple orgasms with a little stimulation and not nessesary ejaculating or ejaculating a little, but it will be just roght and normal- as much as is required from the system. The biology is really complex system which knows how to stay in balance withouth premature interpretations but quaility knowledge of it also is required. It all can go right but also can goes wrong. better dont count on the good luck and the imagination of some future effects. Better dont fixate on sexual things. There can be a lot of blockages on this level, a lot. Cause we are conditioned to be ashamed of this energy ant this regions of our body so we cant feel it as it is. so we learned to utilyse it sometimes creapy way. Also porn is not good. It is not building a conductive space and when you awaken it will leave you dirty way which you can check on some accounts. ot good, can watch but get rid of brutality and hard stuff etc. If you masturbate, learn to do it withouth porn nor fantassies, and change the hand, relax your legs, pelvis buts and feet. Observe the natural energy, sensations and the way you utilise the energy and why are you doing it, which sensations you are promoting and which discriminating. Masturbation in front of the parner shows also some stuff, for some is humiliating cause it has something to do with secretly pleasing yourself...Be honest with yourself Perform some simple yoga or qui gong practices for your pelvis area. (TRE exercises are good enought too if you dont understand other systems , find it on you tube- they are taking the stress out of the system very natural way) Wear bright colours

This monkey example is cool. These kinds of moments sustains our modified functioning and brings this primal which is given, seems we dont learn it, were equiped in some pure knowledge needed to sustain our living. Usually strong emotional things like that can also trigger awakening or partial awakening of some regions . And about your dream it seems happening this way. I dont know this terminology, but seems that the first shot of awakening happends this way, you kind of cross the critical mass and kind of "see" behind the patterns and then, since there is this recognition of your self - of what is true all what isnt the true self has to be purified but it goes on its own from now on, taking of the fixations on different chakras , for some it lasts long, for others quicker. With time you just experience these ego patterns less and less, and conflicted inner dialogues are gone too. It is preceived like dissolving of these pieces of personality and it can be called transcending too, than the energy is no longer involved into inner conflict and you also preceive this as a quality change in your being.

Yes I meant the imaginary self which is often called ego.But then I added that physically it exists as the immunite system and also as some internal process of taking care of the body. There are many layers to it. Pure ego can be also called the recognition that goes with the breath - that you simply are, and I don't mean the atman which is brahman. What is the difference between pure ego and imaginary self according to you?

Ego in the meaning of the problem of dellussions is something really complexed. Easy way to describe it could be all kinds of personalities you identiffy yourself with and these personalities are deeply rooted in the body. Different people dhave different degree of this modivications. And it is subjective, always operates as a kind of an agent that believes that relates with experiences as some relative being, so it suffers when experiences are different than its desires, but thats not who we are. But talking about it like that also can bring confussion cause it evokes another personality that thinks that there is something wrong with himself/herself. Ego is not the problem but the imaginary self and its selfishness and graspings. Ego is also understodd as the individuality with its unique futures, or tastes. "Each flower has its own smell" . Old scriptures says that On the physical level ego is literallly the immunite system, so it is mistake to deny ones existence (and someones actually practice this way) cause it just weakens the immunite system. When awakening happens there are periods when youre withouth this ego, and it is not something beutifull to stay in. Sacriface can be felt as sacrificing this your own identification with the body and its tendencies and all personas included. It actually can be felt as dying, deep humiliation. So it can be understood as if giving up your own being, body included to this proces. And you know it is happening to you as if being digested. You give yourself to the Lion that feds her baby with your flesh . But it is also a kind of relative, depanding how tou wil describe it. Ive heard a zen kongans that sound like: There is something that will take your leg and your eye. What is it? Or: How to catch the golden fish? But be carrefull cause the fish has already eaten a few old masters. Jesus on the cross is a metaphore of it cause it is actually experienced very special way that is hard to put in words.

This quick mind takes place when there is a very little or no informations from other chakras or psychic centers. When you walk in this state you feel yourself as if moving much more quicker then normally - it is amasing, everything is so quick for you and sharp, this one operates more on senses. Then the super mind is more connected with heart, it seems slow, but can reach very deep informations and I experienced it as an actuall body of self inquiry and discrimination for what is not true, also theough it some insights come. Whatever you ask to this mind you will get the answer and you will be amased with its precission. He is volnurable, a magnificent giant that dont know anything about selishness, yet understands everything, pure knowing. Then there is someting that can be called a lower mind which is basically the one that is responsible for dealing with dangers and works like an immunite system for external world. Whenever there is a noice or sth going on around you, this mind fires up and resarch the enviroment. While awakening of this region you kind of feel yourself as a monkey, which is actually funny experience - you almost feel yourself as if in a moment you will start to make this noice as monkeys make when alerted. Then there is a mind which carries the imaginary self which is basically oriented only on itself and causes problems and is fixated on many internal personas. I dont know the terminology but seems that this one covers the whole body with its centers, it is basically your body including subtle layers... It has its thinking process wich works in the forehead but it is just like the tip of the ice mountain - it is actually everywhere. People often confuse that insights or realisations happen through thinking proces of a forehead, but it is just the part of the mind that will transform- understanding happends through whole the body and it transform it. Throug each chakra sensing ability you preceive the world around with all nuances, your body starts to become, as Adyashanti said one big sensing organ. But this nomenclature isnt good cause they all are working symultaneously and each has its own function, and none is less important then other. The knowledge of them is greater with expansion of prana, as if they have their own layers and divercity that havent seen in any book, maybe cause its impossible to put this grateness into words.

Yes, looks so stable . I mean don't force it- there is noone to impress with lotus and the satisfaction will wanish too . But when you harm yourself then you will have to recover some time and might not be able to exercise. So I mean dont put too much attention to it. gradually you wil gain flexibility as much as your body needs, and if the full lotus will be needed then it wil come by itself . Yoga by itself brings a lot of peace of mind, even through simple exercises that dont put too much stress to the body- have fun

Don't need to fixate yourself on full lotus, half is good enought too or even less than that

Cause it opens us to our natural blissful state and we miss it? Cant have sex when being closed or contracted

I would say that hughe relieves of blissfull, orgasmic like sensations are a good sighns. Sometimes comes with jhanas - when you learn jhanas you can racces it anytime you want. Take a look at cats - wherever they sit or lie down and are not focussed they jump into bliss of samadhi. Human are capable of the same when not lost in thinking process. Then the pain from relieved self-contractions comes and you can notice that it also happends within the bliss. So you se that the bliss is everlasting, you merge in it but simply you did not know so far, it is close to the bliss of orgasm, or in other way when cumming were open enought to experience this bliss. The bodily bliss of orgasmic like sensations comes and can last for some time then it goes away. Sometimes I was taking a shower and then it just came from amasement and I was out for 2 hours, sometimes barely able to breath and having spasm in the whole body. With time, blissfull feelings are comming more and more often and you just are more familiar with it, or simply you don't pay to much attention - you just okay, no excitement about it. Its like having a honeymoon with your own body, first youre amased, then you become used to it. For example when approaching first jhanas you feel bliss, but then the next jhana comes and you almost cant handle it, but then you open more and even more bliss is comming. You forget the time, you open your eyes and see that 2 hours has passed... Sexual things and arousal is more pleasurable than so far - you just melt like butter. Bliss is a good sigh, can have so much of it that you almost cant handle. You are more and more joyful. You can have orgasms like sensations and bliss just out of enjoyment- or simply it comes when you let go more and more, being relieved always feels wonderfull

This is blessing. Being relieved from blocks. From my experience - most profound spiritual experiences happend after crossing this barier. This sensations as if passing out last for some time then theyre gone. They might repeat many time. Intensive sweating can come, shots of hormonal resposes. Fears are just contractions of different body regions. For example shame is contracting lower spine and anus-genital area(when we are children around 5 years old i guess we often touch these region for stimulation and parents when see it take our hands and tell us storries about it that trigger the feeling of shame, then we feel thes areas as something that need to be covered. These "crossing the barrier of fear" experiences can trigger partial or full kundalini rising wich are feelt as upward movement of energy. Important is not to freak out, nor make story about it but to be ready for everything and keep calm. Under these fears there is a lot of energy bounded. Most tied energy is within the abdomen area- when this is untied than it is like sitting on a ticking bomb. Yogis are telling it that it is the key to awakening. There is a purpose in old idiom that only the devil fears of saint water...

In my case they appeared cause they were somehow needed in the process and then some of them dissapeared and some stayed, but it is not like superpower, you dont turn it on and off in my case, it is more like another sense. From your perspective it is nothing super, or added. And in my case it is something raw, happends when it happends I dont evoke it. It is more like sudden insights. For example- while the 3rd eye oppening-like experiences I could know anything I wanted about the world, the carma, I saw how we are deeply connected with each other, no single movement of anyone is excluded from the web of total "memory". On some levels you can preceive the matter of objects and are able to impat it. Some gets fascinated by it... Now I kind of have the ability to read people, the degree of theirs clarity (althouhjt my is not yet "full", self-realised butn yet not fully integrated) and I can understand their blockages of energy or theirs fixations (for example on which chakras level sth going on) and sometimes, when there is a space and openness for it - i can heall, withouth even people noticing it, but sometimes they notice too. Most minds are so much in trance that they will interpretate everything as they wish, or sometimes they just say wtf? Or that they feel some electricity in their bodies. For example, I never did any course of massage, but somehow I know where to touch someone and how to relieve their mussle pains, but I dont do it too often, only when someone asks. Sometimes the insights into someones mind shows, so I can preceive their thoughts (when I focus my attetntion on someone) but it comes as a byproduct - am not evoking it, it just comes but am not interested in it. I also know how to addapt yoga or other movements system for better utilisation of "fluctuations of the mind", and can show it to someone if he or she has some problems like head aches or muscle scelet pains. The healing ability rised from self healling - My ability to contact any teacher in the midst of transsformations was cheap so it somehow showed up spontanously when I had problems. Also the knowledge of food, what is good for what, what to eat etc to heal the body or balance the energy. some things I addapted from someone with psychic powers that I met. I just spent a few weeks in his presence everyday and I gained the knowledge through which he was healing and teaching me. The heart to heart transmission exists. Thats why just spending time in the presence of the fully realised teacher is beneficial. You might even not be aware of the degree of the impact. Or even deny it. Also, the knowledge of your body is great so seems that you will know when the death comes... They dont talk about it cause is dangerous - people can simpy want to have this stuff and seems that they can actually reach these powers through concentration and it wont be beneficial, can even lead to greater delussion. It is just the wrong way and attachement. Thats why the teacher is required, he can lead you the safe way and show you how to deattach so you can miss long period of suffering cause of lack full integration Also talking about sidhis can lead to unhealthy fascination in listeners. I saw one talk of one zen teacher here in Poland - someone asked him a question about sidhis, then the questioner, confessed that he wanted to get some sidhis and he was practicing in order for that, including forceful fasting for long periods- the way he was talking had some quality of madness, being posessed... He was practicing for that purpose for some years - is it healthy and brings harmony for you and people around you? Dont think so Someone with clear mind, who knows this stuff will recognise your abilities

I knew one man who speek of himself a shaman. He ended up seing ghosts of dead friends pushing him to kill himself - he went to psychiatric hospital looking for help. I concider any kind of practice that you push or forcefully work with energies as dangerous and risky. Mental destability etc as fruits. All is cool way of practicing. Along my journey I have spontaneous glimpsess where I could sense the energy of plants, ground, fruits etc, it is highly interesting and can serve as a portal to real path but all kinds of wantngs to have siddhis, psychic powers is incorrect way. Be carreful and clear with your intentions. What is interesting for you always serves better and you are involved fully. Funny enought - when youre purified to some degree you are able to perform rituals that works, withouth any training. Observing some animals like cats can bring insights - they are great meditators merged deeply in bliss

It is the total dissolution of the subjectiv observer when just processes are left what is called full enlightement. What they call ego is seeer, doer, thinker, preceiver. No entity that is subjectiv stays when enlightened. Since there is the one who preceives and there are doubts, there is no end of the movie.

Yoga or other practice of movements. After it usually you dont think too much and just fall... Fall... It mimick the natural process of kryias. Most of the time they start with movements and end up in sitting

I guess it is more complicated. They say that after noticing the nature of emptiness all is done but actually it just starts the process of transfiguration. Also all depands on individuality and the way of Shakti. There are people that all happends to them in one moment, others need to go through different stages and its hard to describe for them where they are - if ego has been transcended or not yet. Probably Ramana said it - it is like with the fan - you turn it off and yet it still moves for some time until it looses its momentum.... Besides, ego is a traditional concept . There are few teachers who talk about 2 things - ego and the imaginary Self, which is more acurate and less confusing. The imaginary self gradually vanishes but ego, as individuality and the immunite system stays. There are stages when youre withouth ego - this place isnt nice to stay in.

We have The need for "other" primary to the need for the baby. Not only human do it for fun - monkeys too, I gues thatthey don't analyse it too much. Actually, Through sex you can open yourself to the Divinity

Ok, thank you. A lot of your words brings clarifications to me. PS: other thing with teachers or advanced practicioners - i noticed that they often negleckt my questions or experiences I talk about cause of my very short period of formal practice, they often deny what I say to them right after I say that I started the formal practice this year... So all my questions come to one question how to check if this rising is correct:)? Cause ultimateley I just don't know

Prior to that and after I had different sensations in the chest. These prior (a month before this burning) were more as if when you sleep bad and then the day after you feel like something went into your shoulder. So the same sensations but in the chest. Very subtle, as in on the energy level, but there was some intelligence how to remove it nonharmfull way too. It does not look pretty, sometimes you feel like your inner tissues and organs are recomposing its structure, you might get skin colur changes in different places. I saw a man whos legs and hands gets twice as big, like a tumor underneth. Sometimes is good just to visit a medic, and never fight with situations... There were a lot of sensations on the chest also - like 1000 volt comming through your whole body and you cant say anything nor move or it puts you in a required position and you cant move for some seconds and it feels so good, I was even shaking, or could not stand feom my bed, people thought am sick, it looked close to psyhosis. Very intensive emotional states , whole your world colapsing. You get dissoriented teporary. Spontaneously falling into nirvicalpa or silvicalpa samadhi. This was prior to burning hands. All can be scarry but nothing to be scarred of nor making storries about isnt helpfull - can put you in a demonic realm I guess- that you are speciall or omnipotent, especially if siddhis occurs and you see how you impact people around you... Need to be carrefull, contact some teacher, when dont know what to do just do nothing, allow things to happend, go samadhi, do some intuitive exercisess. People tend to organise or addapt their own movements systems in it - yoga, tai chi qui gong. Kryias happen continously for days and nights sometimes, sleep patterns reorganise, sleeping awake, sensing cosmic energy.... After this burning hands I had a few times different sensations in the chest. Very intensive and also feels as if you will die in a moment. Sometimes it was felt simmillary as if you are going into really cold water and you slowly put your body centimeter by centimeter into the water - thats how It can be compared, noone likes these feelings. It was related to anger and love emotions. Sometimes it was experienced as if you are "withouth head" and you whole sensivity and your being is out of thinking, only in the heart area. Sometimes I felt like pure love, and could not preceive anything else around me bunjust love. Then after passing it by simply allowing it to be felt, some days after I had pains on the left side of the chest - feels like you will have a stroke or sth, but this is only muscle pain. Sometimes when this things happen and you are close to people you migh say sth bad or very raw and unpredictable, seems like different sorts of bad emotional patterns are leaving you. Intuitive yoga or different movements, walks are good, never do anything stupid. Patience, dont let you fall into a story of a realised one. Still can be conflicted internally and selfish like a child

I had it withouth Guigong practice, just some yoga and meditation. But I did not know that it is something" spiritual". Looks as if after catching nettle in my hand - red dots. It also occured on my feet. There were unpleasent sensation in the body accompanied symultanessly - in the belly and in the stomach - as if you are going to pass out in a moment. Then after some days the skin on my hands and feet started to go out, and underneeth a more sensitive skin showed up. On each hand there are small red marks in the middle untill now

O yes, these states seems dont fade away but just "get included". Its really hard to find any explanation post factum, and the teachers of zen I've been to wasnt into expaining anything. I found only one teacher on YouTube that was telling about these things the language that was simple and I could recognise what I've been through thanks to him. Maybe these zen guys dont talk in order to avoid rerooting of some parts of egoity? I don't know. So far I thought that this 1000 petal experience will come back, but seems it is experienced only once, and afterwards there is this repose phase. These main chakras seems to work on different layers, starting from different energies and its blocks, then pranas, organs... but am not sure, just my experience. True that it is a really comlex thing, especially the throath for me and this one under the tummy. I used to have tons of energy blocked in my neck, throath, heart and the lower spine area that were washed out through dramatic kundalini rising that I wasnt expected in my deepest dreams. Durring these the fasting happend spontaneously, I just could not eat. How is it that they don't say anything about it in these schools? I've heart from one abbot that they start to have very dramatic risings more and more and often people go crazy afterwards. One isnt prepared too much for this stuff nor can understand while it happends. Is it due to that each person went through it different way? You mentioned somewhere the impact on people around you. I kind of notice it through their postures, changes of moods or energy rising that somehow my presence actually impacts people around. I met one man that could preceive my aura or my energy field and he was going crazy in my presence (but also helping with healling some gaps in my "field". Hope it isnt dangerous for peope?

Vipassana is hardcore enought. Finding out what samadhi is. Simply Observing the breath can lead you to interesting inquiry. Kryia yoga, also interesting and not harmfull when do properly and with a teacher. Qui gong, tai chi.. Always the teacher that is realised is required. He can give you shaktipat when youre ready. The understanding occures in his presence withouth actually "doing". In zen they say - I touch the dead trees and they come to live. It is it- the touch of the teacher. I guess forcefull practice of pranayama can bring a lot of suffer. Pranayama occurs spontaneously when kryias opens up. Any kind of energetic work, instead of simply meditating can bring a lot of pain and unessesary good and healthy results. It is darkness and demonic .

So if reality is observed through subjectiv senses, then how you can say what the actual reality is? And whos version is more real? The temperature for one person can be cold, for other okay, they both can say that there is 10 degree. Their minds, of which the question about the temperature and reality rised are made of the matter that they try to figure out, and functioning of the mind is related to temperature too. Seems imposible to catch it. As if a hummer tried to figure out what the wood is. The Answer can be only theoretical, and will vary depanding on the personality of you who answer. Haha. I would say that this question is more neurotic than you can imagine.

This glowing I have experienced too a few times, sometimes it lasts for long time, sometimes is related to heart area, usually I can't talk or focus on anything after it - I just sit or lie down on the flor, no memory occurs while it happens. As if I never-existed.... Funny thing - last time I experienced it also after visiting a doctor. But it was more like facing my nervousness that I had since childhood - I never liked doctors. This glowing happens usually after facing some nervousness like that ( of childhood) or after some yoga session. Sometimes it seems shining a bit of golden... Then it subsides and the world around looks a bit differently... Any idea what is it? Have you ever had experienced synestesia? Or as if sensing smells, taste or sounds through emotions or through literall the whole body? Or like full body orgasms, spasms, whithouth even being stimulated? Or sensing enegy fields of smaller chakras from fingers, feet, knees... Or everything merges with everything and becomes "flat" -"nondimensional" in front of your eyes and you experience just love? When reading you diary I can recognise some experiences like this gyroscope of the head, experiencing energy in nasal, teths - they are familliar, and it is the first place where I can read about these experiences... so far I doubted if all is okay with me... Am always amased what will come next... If all these things will simply subside with time