markern

Thanks! That was very usefull. If you have more to say about what you write about here I am all ears:)

http://www.bristollair.com/2008/outer-game/pua-skills/social-vibing/ THis article teaches you something very important about social skills. There are a bunch of other good articles at that site.

Your social problems can be overcome 100%. Here is my advice. Look into cogntive behavioural therapy, atention and commitment therapy and mindfulness based cogntive therapy. They are all proven good therapies for dealing with anxieties and self esteem etc. The last two draw inspiration from meditation and the psychology of meditation. Learn to meditate and do qigong. Any sort of meditation adn qigong will do but some are more targeted for working on this sort of stuff than others. Six healing sounds and inner smile are very god. Find the thread lessons of the lower chakras by Dmatawards on page two or three in this forum and read it. THere you will see how he very successfully has sorted out a ton of emotional problems with those two techniques. Do standing meditation in the wuji posture. It works on your system overal but especially works with the kidneys, spleen and root chakra which are all centers tied intimately with anxiety problems. THere are many other techniques that also work specifically with similar issues these are jsut some of the ones I am familiar with. Any additional qigong, yoga or other meditation will aslo help. Increase your testosterone through lifting weights and doing martial arts. Both increase testosterone a lot and higher testosterone elads to more confidence, more assertiveness, more drive and less timidness. In addition you will look better and so get better reactions and martial arts builds confidence and reduces fear in many ways other than just increasing testosterone. You learn to have guts and face up to year fears and have authoriy etc. Learn the social skills necessarry. go to charismaarts.com and buy the book. It will teach you how to be a great conversationalist. Learning what Juggler teaches gives you the ability swim socially with easy in and context. THey offer phone coaching and in person teaching. I would seriously consider paying fo rhtat if I struggled like you do. The calm and confidence that comes from that level of social mastery is huge. You can also take a look at this site: http://www.succeedsocially.com/ I am guessing women is a problem for you. The charismaarts stuff fixes that but another great resource for the same is 60yearschallenge. Especially his antimanifesto is awesome. A bit advanced though. Learn to dance. Not only is dancing a great way to interact with peole but learning to mve freely and without constraints in the way you do when you learn to dance fairly well is excellent in helping you loose social inhibitions. Go see a doctor of TCM. Some good herbs for aniety and lack of confidence should help. Search for the haka on yutube and try doing it a few times. It is a super quick way to boost confidence, diminish fear and timidness and I am convinced also increase testosterone. It can be doen in a minute or two. Some videos just show people doing it while some are instructional and teach you how. Try to reduce masturbation as much as you can. It is a frequent finding by many with anxiety problems that lots of masturbation actually increases their problems. You can read about it here: reuniting.info Hypnosis might also be a good thing to try.

By the way I found the AYP I am mantra very powerfull in stilling the mind. Also to me one advantage of standing meditation is that even if my mind does not stay stil all the time a lof of energy is produced and this in turn leads to the mind eventually becoming still. Tai chi works the same way for me with the added benefit that the continuous moving gives me something to focus on all the time so eventually it makes my mind forget everything else than the tai chi.

For some time now I have been thinking that whenver someone does somthing bad I have probably done the same in a prevous life. Whenver someone says they must have done something bad in a previous life for having deserved the sufereing they experience today I usually think and say that we have all probably been child rapists and mass murderers at some point so don`t be too harsh on yourself.

Are the siatsu chanels something seperate? Eternal student talked about there being 9 levels of the microcosmic orbit. Have you had any experience of this?

I have been lifting weights 2-3 times a week since this summer and have gotten quite a lot bigger because of this. Strength gains have been very slow and I atribute this to my burnout. I am significantly weaker physically than I would be without the burnout and progress seems much slower than before. Last time I gained 50% in strength by lifting 2-3 times a week for 2-4 months or so. I have had two rounds of clear gains in strenght and both correlate with redcutions in the feelings of fatigue and memory loss so it seems the key to strength gains for me is just to get well from my bunrout. As the weeks go by I see that although the gains in strength are small the gains in size are huge. I have always been rather skinny. I used to think that as long as I wasen`t fat it was OK if I wasen`t very buff and have been quite happy with the way my body looks. However, as I see how much I gain it becomes aparent that size comes very easy to me with the right type of training. And I like it. A lot. Girls have started commenting on it and it gives me a type of attention based on looks I have never had. So strictly for reasons of vanity I want to maintain what I have gained and build a bit more on it. I am staying far away from bodybuilder territory or anything that looks like too much in teh eyes of most people. But an (not quite so perfect and ripped) aproximation of Brad Pit in Fight Club/Troy seems attractive to me and most girls I have asked about ideal body types. Getting the results I have had so far has only required three times ten repetitions 2 or three times a week. I only work key muscles such as chest, biceps and triceps etc. because other types of training such as pilates and running and squats etc. give me enough for the rest of my body. So it actually doesn`t take me much more than 20 minutes to do this. As long as I do two times a week progress seems to have almost halted. At three times I seem to still be getting quite good progress but I guess it will start to slow down a bit in a while. Does anyone know how size gains work over the long term. With such a routine would I probably in acouple of months stop gaining or would there still be very small but still significant progress over the long term such as a year or two. The same goes for strength. What are normal strength gains from such a workout over the long term and how quickly does one loose it if one doesn`t do it anymore? I find if I go a week or two without going to the gym I loose a lot fast. But I am thinking that maybe if I had gone every week for two or three years my strength would be much more stable? And what are the likely end of my strength gains with such a workout? Last time I got about 50% stronger in a few months time and that amazed me. WHat are typical strength gains over a year or two? I realize it is difficult to answer these questions with much precision I am just looking for some input on typical scenarios. Over the longer term I want to change to clubbels as it feels like it is better for energetic reasons and healthier for the muscles and joints. I have had one lesson where we did a program that takes about 30 minutes and focuses on strength. What is your experience with clubbels for size gains. Can it compare to dumbells in this regard? Eventually I am probably going to do Yin Yang yoga three times a week or so and a martial art one time a week so I should be gaining some strength and size from that too. It feels like to me that gaining the strength to lift heavy ads a certain type of balance to my overal fitness and energy that feels good and right. I have just done yoga for the most part and gotten good gainz in a moderate type of strength from the type of strength gained from weights seem to add something that feels nice energetically. I am using that as my cultivation excuse alhtough if it wasen`t for the superficial motivations I`d rather just do something else.

You could do primordial qigong. It builds a lof of energy and is very balancing. Also you could increase the time spent in standing meidatiton.

Can you imagine a taoist singles bar. Girls would complain of men scanning their sacral chakras and trying to give them O`s at D`s instead of complaining about them grabbing their ass and looking down their cleavage.

Haha. I am looking forward to seeing adds that say stuff like I am multiorgasmic, have strong rooting powers, am able to rotate my dan tien in all the directions and have passed the mysterious pass :lol:

Well, I can tell you that girls in thsoe clothes certainly do not get groped by random strangers very often. If they do they generally do not like it even if from an attractive man. How a girl ends up being touched is key. On the dance floor I might start to touch a girl arround the waist and slowly start to lead her in dance but I could not just grab her ass. No one just goes over and grabs a girls breasts. And also why should a woman care to give sexual attention to a man she finds unattractive. I certainly do not see my body as something I would donate part time to girls I fin not attractive simply because of compassion. No f..ng way. Also if I notice agirl I find unattractive trying to flirt with me I will generally run in the other direction (metaphorically speaking, I don`t actually run:)). It is really a pain in the ass to have someone trying to seduce you when you don`T like them. IT can ruin you entire night if you have to keep talking to them it sucks big time. Girls generally get approached by many guys and if they do give signs of accepting a guy talking to them it is almost impossible to get rid of the guy. I see that problem for my female freinds when we go out. If she talks to a guy just a little bit he will often almost stalk her ofr the rest of the night. Often they will have me play their boyfriend or dance with me or otehrwise get me to get the guy away because he just keeps trying. IF my life was like that I certainly would not like it and would be quick to dismiss guys I had any doubt I wanted to talk to. Also you can turn it arround and say that guys only go out trying to fuck the hottest girls and never show any interest in the fat and ugly ones (they don`t). Why is that not equally unfair. If you were an attractive male would you have sex with ugly fat chicks with little charm just because it would be more fair if they also got sex? Do you think you could get turned on by them through and act of will? And why should an attractive woman fall in love with someone in the hopes of him going from skinny to muscular or fat to thin when she has many options to choose from of guys that already look good? (You have argued previously that this is unfair.

Can you alaborate on teh sex lessons men need to learn?

I found this in another thread. My guess is it aplies to you: I used to hide behind Buddhism to deny my own needs, I was 26 (a bit too late) when I called bullshit on my own spirituality and just look for happiness like everyone else does. Took over a year before I'm comfortable with the person in the mirror and another year to really have a social life. Had a few very close platonic friends (platonic because they're not attracted to me) from the same social circle as my other guy friends, learned how to banter from them (important skill) and learned how to talk over the phone for hours (important skill #2). Once you're comfortable around women, everything just falls into place. I'm 29 now and have never been happier, also meditation is a lot easier now that my head is not as full of fuck as it did.

You are ignoring hte fact that my teacher has spent for years inspecting the energyboddies of the highest tibetan teachers you can hope to find annd tens of thousands of hours inspecting the energy body of the lady he thinks is a buddha and he found hers to be of a significantly higher vibration.

You know were I am going? I am going to Tahiti. Seth Ananda, who I have a lot of faith in, says that his friend who has studied with Tahitian shamans says that he thought they had gotten further than any of the many indian, tibetan and chinese masters he had met. Ha said this was because when he loked in the eyes of the Tahitian shamans it looked as they were ambracing the whole universe whereas in teh eyes of the asian masters he did not see that. By the way tahiti is one of the worlds most sexually indulgent places. At least it used to be. Check out Seths posts to read about it. Or you can consider comming to Oslo. My teacher spent for years in Tibetan monestaries and studied with the two Dzogchen masters that were considered the most advanced in Dzogchen in tibetan buddhism at the time. However, the woman who is now his teacher and whom he thinks is the only Buddha he has ever met lives in Oslo and does not teach formally only those she encounters in her life. He says that her vibration was significantly higher than that of any tibetan master he met and her aura differently coloured. He has sent tens of thousands of hours talking with her. He said that sometimes they talked for 16 hours a day. At the end of such days he would be drained but she would have more energy than at the begining and her vibration would have gotten even higher. I don`t think she has much siddhis and I think she is utterly uninterested in them. However, my teacher says she is the only one he has met that truly does not seem to feel any sense of seperationa and truly feels the suffering of others as his own. Norway has a small poppulation but she lived in Oslo which is a fairly big city. She was and is also married. She puts a lot of emphasis on embracing life completely like Tahitian shamans and would find your views escapist and motivated by fear and I think she would say anything buildt on fear is moving you in the wrong direction. I don`t think I have met any woman that holds similar views as you but many men. I think that fact that your views are so exclusively male and has none of the views of the feminine in them is a clear indication that they are wrong because a view based only on yang or only on yin is imbalanced and never right. It is a good rule of thumb to aply as a check to ones thinking.

Nice! This makes sense to me.

THat`s not needed. A significant amount of men have a natural tendency to love war. For almost all men in war it would be hell but for a large part of those, despite it being hell they still love it.

If you look at the time spent caring for others women come out waaay higher than men.

You can contact one of the teachers of kundalini awakening process. THey can teach you how to do it but it might/probably presupose(s) some proficiency in meditation and energywork to do well. Seth Ananda also has some thoughts on this. You can PM him.

Yesterday I googled serotonin and found it was key in regulating how we feel about ourselves, that the level of serotonin goes are low in lower rank animals and high in hgiher rank animals and changes in rank quickly makes the serotonin levels go up or down and that 90%of it is to be found in the gastro intestine tract. SO i thought about the organs and came up with the theory that testosterone might be primarily connected to the liver and lungs as they deal with assertiveness, anger and aplpha male qualities while the kidneys seems to be connected a lot to dopamine as it is so key in sexuality, is key in pleasure and many o fthe spychological qualities of high and low dopamine relate to kidney function and because two weeks absence from orgasm leads to dopamine levels stabilizing. Tee heart in turn is obviously connected to oxytocin. HTese things are obviously much more complex, I am sure each one has impacts on severall organs, but as a general rule it might be the case. It might also be the case that these hormones are all ruled by the organs I mentioned and that the effect the hormones have on other organs can be explained by the indirect effect changes in one organ has on others such as increasing serotonin might make the spleen stronger in turn affecting the lungs and other organs. Also an interesting fact about serotonin and animal rank is that those who are high in it will normally achieve high rank even if their size and other abilites such as aliance building do not really support such a rank they get there because their confidence or "belief in themselves" makes other animals treat them acordingly. Also by artificially manipulating the serotonin levels up or down the monkeys rank would change. This is a good example of how cultivating can change things for you socially as you "artificially" increase the amount you have of desired hormones++ that regulate your mood and behavior and this changes other peoples perception of you and you get wwhat you want socially. So Non does not really need the experience he is lacking because he can elevate his levels of serotonin, testosterone, dopamine, oxytocin and whatever else is relevant to match the level of people who have had the greatest success in life and he will then behave as such and be treated as such and so eventually will have success matching his hormonal levels.

Strawhawk I recommend you read no more mister nice guy. I forgot the name of the other but you can find it if you google it. I also recommend you read some of david deidas books especially the way of the superior man. Also google 60yearschallende and read his blog and read his antimanifesto. Also go to charismaarts.com and buy the ebook. If the compiled archieves aren`t for sale any more you can find them on fastseduction.com. They are golden.

Women don`t know any better either! So why blame them?

I have no clue about the relationship between what is needed to build muscle and maintain it. I used to thing you had to workout as much to keep it as you did to get it but apparently not. Right now I lift twice a week. I life three sets of as much as I can lift ten repetitions of. I do for biceps, tricpes, shoulders, chest muscles. I also do some for my upper back and some for my lower back and do one round of leg pushing lifts. THis takes me about 20-25 min in total. I have been doing this since August last year and I am now quite close to where I want to be. If I keep doing the same maybe I get there in one year but I think doing it three times a week will do it in half a year. Of course changing the routine to something more rational (this was just what a personal trainer set me to do years ago) might make me get there faster. So my question is when after say half a year I get where I want to be, either with a more rational routine or three times a week what will I need to maintain it? Do I have to keep at it for a good while to solidify it until I can scale back? I plan on doing martial arts (thai boxing, Brazlian jujitsu or Krav MAga I will probably change back and forth over the years) once a week soon. If that plus some yoga could replace the weights I would be thrilled. THe yoga I would like to do would be a mix of fairly vigorous and dynamic, almost like ashtanga but not quite as hard, and dao yin like stretching. I got quite muscular just by doing yoga and no weights before. So could say one thai boxing day, and two yoga sessions maintain the size I am trying to build? And what about testosterone? Weight lifting produces it but if you use other methods to maintain size will testosterone levels be maintained? I can see the martial arts maintaining testosterone but not so sure about the yoga.It seems to pull in the opposite direction. What about one day martial art one day weights 30 min and one day yoga? Do the same principles apply to stretching? So that the gains in flexibility from an intesive perido of stretching can be maintained by much less stretching later on?