EFS White

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Everything posted by EFS White

  1. I have asked for your guys' opinion about this before, but as it poses as recurring problem for me, I would like to reach out to you again. I feel like I am very susceptible to sexual triggers and lustful sentiments; more so than I feel is good for me. The kind of cultivation I am practicing advises to transmute sexual energy and shun desire and wayward lustful thoughts. Aside from breathing exercises what has worked best for you guys here? I appreciate your answers.
  2. Lust - and what to do about it

    Thank you for chiming in here, I appreciate it. I did, more than once, as a matter of fact, and I am really bending over backwards here to take over as many chores as I can. I am also going for long walks with our baby to make sure she has time to herself in order to relax or just do whatever. I think the things you prescribe are all sound, and it may all just be a matter of hanging in there. Thanks again for your input.
  3. Lust - and what to do about it

    Thanks a lot for your two cents. It doesn't at all sound harsh or scary. I think the more I meditate on this, the more I reach a similar conclusion as to what your first paragraph stated: It is perfectly natural to be attracted to women, and the less sexual relations we have within our relationship, it seems only logical that I become more responsive to other women again. We have gone to see two gynecologist so far, and neither of them was particularily helpful. It was more along the lines of, "yeah, we can tell you which pubic bone is causing the pain" - and other than that, "for most women this pain should go away within one year after birth, for some it never goes away". So not very encouraging. It seems waiting for this pain to subside and waiting for her hormones to recover will be our preferred options here, for as you say "sex is not pleasurable when it's painful", and - I might add - if she just doesn't feel like it. Thanks again for expressing your thoughts and your encouragements.
  4. Lust - and what to do about it

    Thank you for your input, Nungali. The transition into parenthood is actually something I feel quite ready for, and one that I very much welcome. I have never been a party person and I do not feel like I have to learn to give up anything such as drinking and partying, as I have never found any meaning in that anyway. I love this aspect of your post a lot: I appreciate that perspective of looking at my little boy as a next stage of cultivation. That is just beautiful. Thank you.
  5. Lust - and what to do about it

    I appreciate your input and impulse to think about me definitions here. I am not affiliated with a religious institution but rather have explored and built my own metaphysical understanding over the years from varied sources. Lust, to me, is an undue attachment to sensual pleasure or desire for such pleasures that distracts me from the goal of my inner work, which is to work towards purification and ultimately union with divinity. More precisely it is episodes of unruly sexual fantasy about women and the urge to have sex / masturbate / ejaculate. I have actually spend quite a few hours meditation on this whole issue last night, and I was reminded on wisdom drawn from the Bhagavad Gita, that indeed these lustful impulses are "just nature attaching to nature". So that is one way I can look at it and be okay with the impulses themselves, knowing that as long as I experience this physical existence my sense will enjoy and long for objects of the senses. I guess what bothers me is to see how these sexual desires creep into my mind sometimes, trying to steer me away from my spiritual convictions.
  6. Lust - and what to do about it

    Thank you for your questions. My partner says she is fine with not having sex right now, as she doesn't really feel in the mood for anything to do with sex at the moment, plus experiencing pain from it, due to an injury obviously sustained during the C-section procedure, which unfortunately was medically necessary for us. I would not assess her to be "happy generally", even though our lives are really going great right now. As I have stated above, obviously she has to shoulder the greater part of taking care of our baby boy (due to breastfeeding and me working) and she states that she feels very much overwhelmed by these new responsibilities at times. To me she often seems angry, irritable and pessimistic in a way that doesn't correspond with our actual life situation.
  7. Lust - and what to do about it

    I greatly appreciate your answer and input, thank you. I wholeheartedly agree that having a child is a potent transitional period, and I am actually thrilled at the prospect of growing into this new role as parents. While my partner and I can very well agree to have this discrepancy in our sexual needs for the time being, what really stresses me about my lustful episodes is that they are not always directed towards my partner. So to be clear: It is not simply me feeling lustful that bothers me. What bothers and concerns me is a new flaring up of sexual desire and sexual fantasy with other women I encounter. This is something I would love to overcome and frankly just be rid of, and I had dearly hope that as a father I wouldn't have to struggle with this again.
  8. Lust - and what to do about it

    Thank you for your input, and for bringing a few more questions to my attention. We regularly talk about my desire for intimacy, and she is open about her just not being in the mood for anything sexual, which we agree is most certainly still due to hormonal changes due to breastfeeding etc. Additionally, we suspect that she sustained an injury from the C-section procedure, as she experiences pain from the first moment of penetration. So that certainly doesn't help either. While we are compatible in our metaphysical worldviews she is not actively pursuing a spiritual practice regimen, but she knows my stance and practice in regards to meditation, inner work, and dual cultivation (including non-ejaculatory sex, although she will usually orgasm). The tender touches etc. are still there. Of course a lot has changed due to our baby boy. And while these are more than welcome changes, I get a sense that my partner sometimes feels quite overwhelmed, and regularly is in a very bad, frustrated or angry mood.
  9. Lust - and what to do about it

    Thank you for your post. I did not take an official vow of celibacy. However, I am following a gnostic cultivation tradition that proposes not to ejaculate and not to fornicate but does strongly advise dual cultivation with one's spouse. As you said a bit more information might be needed to properly answer my question, so long story short: Ever since the birth of our baby boy (and really before that during pregnancy) my partner and I stopped having sex altogether - due to pain issues mostly, plus my partner not really feeling in the mood. So this, say, 'involuntary abstinence' has been going on for about ten months now and doesn't jibe too well with my dual cultivation ideal. Now over the course of the last few months I have noticed recurring episodes of severe lust and sexual fantasy, which I really thought and hoped I had moved past. Anyway, so that's that.
  10. Itˋs been a while since I read Bill Bodriˋs "Little Book of Hercules", and I remember I quite enjoyed it, even if at times his writing feels quite redundant and at other times not quite clear enough. I have been compelled by my intuition to revisit the Herculean myth recently, and I thought I might give this forum a try for that. I find the notion, as presented in Bodriˋs book, quite appealing, that the twelve labors of Hercules are in fact stages of cultivation. Does anyone of you readers and contributors here have any information that would substantiate this interpretation of the Hercules myth? Better yet: Does anyone have practical experience with a cultivation along the lines of the labors of Hercules? I am asking, as I have been repeatedly compelled to turn to / return to this topic, and I would greatly appreciate practical input from a cultivator in that tradition and / or some words of clarification or encouragement from someone who has worked along this path. If anyone feels compelled, please do drop me a personal message or respond to this thread. Thank you.
  11. Nungali, thanks very much for taking the time to offer your insights. Obviously what you wrote wasn't quite in line with what I hoped for, but I feel it's very valuable food for thought and critical assessment of the concept. So thank you.
  12. I came across a manual describing the teachings, and touting the benefits of Falun Dafa / Falun Gong and thought it sounded like a very intriguing branch of cultivation practice. If anyone has worked with this approach I would greatly appreciate to hear your opinion on this path and methodology, and any additional resources you can point me to. If also anyone may offer further insight as to the "Falun" and its activation, I'll appreciate your input. Is it possible to create (?) and activate (?) the Falun in solitary study and cultivation training? My best regards!
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    Lifeforce, thank you again for sharing your thoughts and personal experiences on this process. Like I had stated, I was intrigued to try it and - for anyone interested - I am back here now to give my personal account, which will be rather brief. According to the lunar calender provided above, I had calculated Monday at a little after noon to be the moment of the moon entering my astrological birth sign. I kept an open and watchful attitude to see if I could noticed any changes in my body, energy, psychology or otherwise. Unfortunately I cannot attest to anything out of the ordinary taking place in the span of these last two days now. As for physical discomfort I had a minor headache about 18 hours after the process was due to start -- however, I get headaches quite frequently and this was nothing out of the ordinary either. Then last night, so about 30 odd hours after the process was due to begin, I developed a sore throat for no apparent reason. But again: nothing that would seem related to this process. Bottom line: I do not feel I was able to experience anything out of the ordinary, which bums me a little bit. I am very open to suggestions as to what I may have done wrong, and will certainly give it another try next month.
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    I have one more question, if possibly you know the answer to this: What exactly happens with the 'sacred secretion' after these couple of days? What happens when you stay in that mindful, celibate and pure place for longer than that particular moon phase; what's your experience?
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    Thank you for sharing your experience. Using the website you have recommended, I calculated the lunar calender for my area and star sign, and according to the information provided, the Sacred Secretion process for me is set to begin at around noon next Monday (the 15th). Like I had stated, I have come across this information several times before, but I definitely do appreciate you putting it back on the map for me. I will keep an open mind to see if similar effects and results to yours will manifest in my experience of this process.
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    Cool, I'll be sure to check what you have to report. I'll have to figure out 'my time' (which I think will be some time around the middle of April), and then want give this a try as well. Good luck!
  17. Thank you for sharing that thought. It appears to me a deeply wonderous and puzzling, while also deeply true axiom, and it certainly does resonate with me.
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    Awesome, thank you.
  19. Deleted

    Thank you for posting this, I greatly appreciate it. And if you don't mind, please continue describing and reporting your journey with this teaching. I have come across videos of Santos Bonacci (Mr. Astrotheology) years ago, [and more recently the guy on the YouTube channel you linked, John St Julien Baba Wanyama], talking extensively about such a thing as a sacred secretion. Indeed, I feel this teaching chimes very well with many sources I have studied, while of course being much more explicit than any of the more allegorical, metaphorical or symbolic sources I usually gleaned this from. If you or anyone can further specify one detail for me, I would greatly appreciate it: You write "Once a month, when the moon enters your birth astrological star sign"; does this, then, imply one's solar sign or lunar sign?
  20. Dear Community, for the second time in my life I am experiencing a strange light phenomenon. It has happened once last spring, and is happening again right now as I am typing this. Last time it lasted for about three hours; right now it has been going on for about twenty minutes. Let me describe: With eyes open as well as with eyes closed I see a jittery left-hand semi-circle, flashing about 7 times per second in rainbow colors. The phenomenon started out as a centered light and its radius has now gradually expanded to where the edge of this thin circle has reached the edge of my field of vision. I do not experience any headaches or other discomfort. Just like the last time this has happened, I am currently in a prolonged stretch of cultivation practice, celibacy, stillness meditation and breathing techniques -- which is why I am wondering whether or not this might be an important (?) stage or significant moment (?) of the cultivation progression. I know this is a dumb question but... is there anything particular I need to be doing right now? Thank you for input and / or sharing your experience. (Yeah, or maybe I am just having a stroke or something...)
  21. Light Phenomenon -- advice? ideas?

    Thank you all for your thoughts. @Taoist Texts I did read the "Taoist Yoga: Alchemy & Immortality" book, and your rendition of what this means as related to my experience seems quite compelling. Thank you. Even while the experience was unfolding I suspected that there must be a meaning behind this behind "only" a semi-circle and that only a full-circle would indicate the completion of a particular stage of the cultivation process. I do not have the book at my disposal at this moment, but I seem to remember that it is advised to do something very specific once this light becomes visible. Do you remember? What astounds me is the fact that the phenomenon just seems to come out of nowhere, and without any indication of whether or when it may happen again. -- As the suggestion of a migraine / aura has come up several times: I do not insist on this being a cultivation phenomenon, and if it was merely an aura I can perfectly accept that. The only thing I find to be curious is that in my almost 38 years of age this is only the second time, and within 9 months, that I have experienced something like this. If it were related to a migraine I would expect to have experienced it more often by now, would you agree? -- At any rate, thank you for your contributions.
  22. Light Phenomenon -- advice? ideas?

    Thank you. Just for sakes of debriefing: This odd light lasted for a little over an hour yesterday, and vanished very suddenly. I did continue with my breathing exercises and applying non-attachment. Thank you for your input, good to know others have experienced this as well.
  23. The Energy Cultivator's Handbook

    Bump. (Love this thread, especially the book recommendations. Thank you. )
  24. Hi everyone. I hope to find here some among you who have accumulated solid astrological understanding and are willing to share their understanding with me and explain how such astrological understanding can be used and incorporated into energetic practice (in my case Qi Gong and Nei Gong). -- I am fairly new to studying anything astrological, and frankly, the only reason I have begun to look into this is because I read tons of books on various subjects but astrological references seem to keep popping up throughout whatever it is I am researching. It started with books I read on Feng Shui years ago; meanwhile I have deepened my studies of Qi Gong, Nei Gong and mystical traditions (I read some Gurdijeff, some about the Essenes, the Egyptians, the Kabbala, some Western Hermeticism and Magick, the Bible, the Tarot etc etc) and somehow all of these traditions or knowledge systems seem to point to an understanding that each direction and / or constellation exudes distinct kinds of energy or vibrational influences. So here are some of my questions: - If we are indeed dealing with natural universal forces there should be strong correlations ascribed to distinct directions and / or constellations throughout these traditions. Is this understanding correct? - Thus, should it not then be possible to sort of "overlay" the various teachings of the energetic qualities of the four directions (or six directions in some traditions) with the signs of the Zodiac and other knowledge systems? Do you know of researchers who have done this? - I am curious whether or not the archetypes of Tarot, the "24 Elders", the "72 Names of God", the angels of the Key of Solomon, can be correlated to an astrological system as well -- and if so, how so? Any pointers? (Again, my basic assumption here is that we are dealing with a physical or metaphysical reality with distinct energetic qualities, and that these qualities therefore must be / should be the same throughout all systems) - If there is indeed an energetic grid surrounding us and its energies affect us and can possibly be used how do you zero and align this grid? For instance, the pole star (which is mentioned very often) only appears to us a point of stillness due to earth's rotation around itself; so must we not anchor the grid to the stars and constellations themselves? How is this done in practice? How do you practically align yourself with distinct energies? - Lastly, I know we are dealing with matters here that are considered "metaphysical". Nonetheless, my line of thinking is that if these energies correlate directly to distinct directions in our celestial dome we can very well interpret these energies as "physical", no? Have any of you found something that could qualify as an "understanding in terms of physics" to explain astrology? -- As you can see my questions are very broad, limited in understanding, and all over the place. As I would really like to deepen my understanding here, I would welcome all of your input, personal experiences, links to good resources and recommendations for books. Thank you.
  25. Just to let everyone, and you commentators in particular, know: I am buried in work right now and will have to postpone my further research of this topic. I am hoping to resume this thread some time next week.