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About djeejah

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  1. newbie want feel normal

    er.. okay you know what... I'll keep the post and just come back again in maybe a few months, maybe time alone will be enough to help my qi stabilize... probably my lower and middle dantiens are just too active... and I've probably also been reading to many strange stories about qi that might not even be true that are creeping me out... adios.
  2. newbie want feel normal

    Do you guys want to help or for me to just delete this? I share my unique experiences, and seems no one wants to help. look I'll delete this thread if you want, I don't want to share my personal experiences for no reason.
  3. newbie want feel normal

    Um.. I was a bit when I just posted that... I've been having a lot of mood swings and mixed feelings lately... BUT MOST RECENTLY-- I have been feeling much better about my "floatiness"-- BUT it's that silly number issue that has been seriously "itching" at me a lot and making me feel uneasy...(a family member also passed very distinctively with that number) (rewinding~) I put waaay to much qi into my daniten all at once, when I was extremely new to waiqi concepts-- I mean at one point the qi was throbbing up and down my body as if it was really trying to escape, causing my legs to move crookedly as it passed through them-- my mood swings were even more severe when it first happened-- but then sometimes I felt even "more alive" then I had ever for years so it WAS helping me in many ways including slightly better eyesight.... Actually I was trying to overcome some extreme depression, (I already knew about the extreme basics of qi such as with accupuncture and taichi) and trying to learn to "emit healing energy" was something that helped occupy my mind and just completely forget the depression.-- qi was such an amazing mystery, and I wanted to be able to prove its existence to anyone... I did so many experiments I don't remember them all... But here's when "it" first started to get really weird (for me), when I first put a qiball into my dantien-- I was seemingly on the edge of believing external-qi wasn't real after all-- but then I gave a qiball exercise one more try, I was shocked all of a sudden that it felt like I was holding a real "magnety-ball"-- I wasn't trying hard at all either-- I followed some online instructions and put it into my dantien-- immediately my abdomen felt like a hard rock with no effort (although I wasn't even trying to tense those muscles either) and my spine started moving on its own-- and well, I felt very light and my depression WENT AWAY and I smiled one of the biggest smiles in a long time as I held the qiball in my dantien-- so I put more qiballs in the next day-- I was walking to college lighting-speed not even feeling tired at all, but started feeling like I had to keep it secret, I felt like I made myself a freak and people would get weirded-out if they found out-- eventually after some days my hands were so "floaty" that I could not even "drop them" (they would SLOWLY hover downward instead, and if put near myself they would perfectly follow the contours of my bodies aura on any "altitude" I "chose")-- then everthing also felt extremely slow motion and I couldn't concentrate on anything and I started having insomnia... I didn't know what to do. I finally realized I could try pulling the qi back out of my dantien out like buqi I had so happened to read about, but was still concerned because I didn't know exactly how to do that. Once I managed to pull enough qi out of my dantien my arms started feeling heavier and I could finally sleep that night.... But next moring I felt sad because I wanted to forget qi because I was tired of it. But I had little idea who to ask or what to do. There are many lies on the internet so I felt like I got myself into a trap... previously I was concerned about getting "qigong deviation" because I had almost no idea what I was doing sometimes... And certain spontanious-qigong when I did it "wrong" actually caused me to become depressed sometimes. The experimentation was based on "every sensation means something, the body 'talks' to us and can be either angry or happy with us, (similar to how a person can be) gain favor with your body and it will love you and be more willing to obey your commands." "Even the masters don't completely understand what they are doing, also I can come to my own conclusions because God created qi for everyone." "But just like everything in life there are uncertainties and dangers-- especially IF I'm venturing off where few have gone or documented before... Some things cannot be mastered, such as even mushroom experts sometimes poison themselves-- I didn't want to be the first to discover some sort of 'deadly' qi technique" I made "my own imageries" of what I "felt" like I should be doing with qi... Imagined being like a dragon or other creatures... My other thing about qi is music. Since I was young I liked music that sent strong "shivers" through my body. The thing about the numbers was feaky because I had watched some of a documentary about some guy revealing certain secrets about a certain very evil occult. (that he had quit after he realized how wrong it was) They use numbers and supposedly he used a "circle" to contact a demon (supposedly shape-shifters) that pretended a phone was ringing (when there wasn't one there) to make his friend reach out of the "safe zone" thus was ubducted by the demon and never seen again, supposedly. Supposedly certain demons do have "miracle-qi" (permission by God of course) to cause strange "coincidences" to happen.. Such as how Satan had Job's sons killed and herds killed all in an instant even by different causes. (please don't ridicule this if you have no evidence against it.) So my main concern now is: DISTINGUISHING THE DIFFERENT TYPES OF ENERGIES: "natural qi", "miricle qi", "spiritual qi", "other worldly qi", "deceptive qi", "good qi" etc. etc. -- A Chinese guy named Hsiao Guang wrote a book, although I don't trust him completely because I think he has some of his facts very wrong-- especially with talking about things he probably doen't understand such as "demons" always healing people behind "all" "qigong"-- WHEN where is the proof that angels don't heal when people do qigong instead?--Where are his reasons for his conlusions, he doesn't give them-- just explains qigong is from "occult" therfore "qi" is cult too! (yeah really silly) I couldn't find his email address, asked the website that posted his literature-- and LOL no reply. The ttf rules are to not link to copywritten material right? so here is the title to search: "Breaking Through the Barriers of Darkness: Recognizing the Cult of Qigong for What It Is" Slthough I don't completely trust him-- his literature got me thinking and theorizing more myself, and now.... well, I know qi is natural so. . . ha, I wonder if there is any truth to that guys book. (if you can even stand reading it Lol) But I realize "qi-sensitivity" is not the same as "benefitting-from-qi" because I know I DID have some better health REALLY LONG ago without feeling qi so much-- and now even though I feel qi more, it doesn't necissarily make me super-healthier all the time (but yes does still help much like I mentioned my stamina and eyesight really improved and am feeling happier for the most part)... So to conclude-- I'm a bit confused +venturing where others seem to not normally go, and I don't trust the masters completely-- when I see them smile on the cover books or dvds-- they don't look happy to me. I want to understand things not just copy and believe everything others tell me. . .I read a lot of conflicting info about qi, sometimes-- or even just many things I cannot prove... Qi has made me (slightly) afraid because it has done many things I have not expected (including bad and good) and am not sure how to control it exactly. BUT like I said, certain forms of qi are entirely natural so... I'm not going to blame ALL qi on demons like someone like Hsiao Guang might. (sorry for scatter-brained-ness because I'm still a bit moody.)
  4. newbie want feel normal

    Also one more thing that makes me suspect an evil-spirit, I've been seeing recursive "11s" specifically regarding my qi-powers. My age was exactly "22" when I opened my chakras, and the blog that helped prove to me that qi was real had that number distinctively in its domain-- (""-- though the author told me it was just coincidence and not intentional-- at first I thought he was occult trying to get "protection" from that number that supposedly is Apollyon's ("Angel of destruction") I think that is why the "KKK" uses that letter because "K" is exactly the "eleventh" letter in the alphabet) and the video that resulted in my chakras opening was uploaded on "day 11" "year 2011" and its original length I think was "11 minutes". I was asking some "Christian" who supposedly has experience about this sort of qi stuff and other strange things (such as supposedly "seeing spirits") for help regarding this and it oddly was exactly Sept 11 when I brought this topic up to him/her. Just as I started to ask again about this problem on THIS forum I just today realized that I become a member and created this thread exactly on Sept 22. Every college class I took when I opened my chakras had a very distinctive "11" in its title or something like a big "211"specifically right in front of my face. So I'm wondering if there is some sort of "demon" around me trying to make me miserable and spewing these numbers at me to make me crazy. Sorry this is so hard to believe for some people. But I'm hoping this is a place where people won't just take me as a loony, because that really would be annoying.... Oddly, in the "Holy Scriptures" Revelation 9:11 specifically speaks of Apollyon who has the key to the "bottemless pit", (and those are old books.) The US flag-- count the columns then rows-- it comes to exactly "9,11" The 2 towers depict that number and went straight downward with fear specifically on "9/11" "9-1-1" is standard to call in case of "grave emergency" (In Europe it is "1-1-2") etc. etc. I'm NOT occult. I just want to be healthy and happy both spiritually and physically, without qi-sensitivity, and want nothing to do with strange spirits. . . (if they really are hovering around me, that is) sorry to bring up this awkward post. . . look I'm NOT trying to speak negatively of qi or qigong-- I know qi is absolutely real and NATURAL, because qi moves blood and holds the organs in place and makes plants grow etc. etc. ... It's just my problem is intense and I think there is something else happening other than qi and I WANT help.... sorry also my mood just now is getting slightly bad again, for some odd reason... so I will leave this forum for tonight, to cool off. Thanks for reading.
  5. newbie want feel normal

    Technician, I was trying that actually... but every time I become weary (either mentally or physically) the qi-sensitivity comes straight back to me and I feel extremely floaty once again and my whole body wants to do a qi-dance.... It seems I cannot get rid of it. The truth is I still do need some form of energy-work because I still do have some health problems and mood problems, but the floaty-ness is like driving me mad... (by the way I'm not Budhist, Taoist, or occult.) I sometimes wonder what's wrong with me because I tend to become extremely frustrated easily. That is why I couldn't continue normal qigong and after I quit taichi, only did spontaneous-qigong. When people tell me things like "don't be frustrated--STOP ACTING THAT WAY-- it is YOU that is the problem" my mood just gets SUPER-worse and I become EXTREMELY FRUSTRATED and possibly enter RAGE-MODE. (but don't worry-- because even if I'm in that state, I probably would still be a too sensitive a person to cause much harm on this forum-- because my emotions mostly harm myself I think.) Since I was very young I would periodically make weird "scenes" in front of people. So as I am now older and learned about qi and qigong, I tried various qigong exercises for frustration and they would work at first, but now they don't help anymore. I tried "gently" stomping in front of a tree while imagining a pure waterfall falling through me. Worked a few times, then no longer. I tried sending excess Heart qi out through the laogong, worked a bit, then not much anymore. I tried smiling a lot. It was working for some weeks, then it just stopped working. I tried listening to many different kinds of music, it worked mostly in the beginning for a few years, now it barely works... I tried "just letting it happen" with my qi so that I enter a trance and/or a special qi-dance but-- it's too unpredictable, sometimes I hurt myself. I'm desperate and soulful. And that scares people. My spirit feels like a extremely gentle and extremely ferocious and exotic confused ugly lovely kirin. I only started energy-work because I wanted to improve my health to just be able to live life without so many health problems and mood problems-- but now I am qi-sensitive and still frustrated and now ALSO cannot feel normal. I'm afraid of accidentally reaching something like kundilani. I'm bold and have A LOT of will-power. But sometimes I wonder if an evil-spirit is hovering around me trying to make me miserable. Sometimes I almost seem to be fighting with some qi around me that is not my own... ops! Sorry your user name is Flolfolil-- not Technician, still getting used to this forum...there I just found the rply button
  6. newbie want feel normal

    hello I'm posting here because this website mentioned that it won't allow me to post in the other places until I intruduce myself here. My user name is djeejah. (thought it sounded cute) I started taichi and developed my own very special style of sponteneous-qigong about 3 years ago and recently managed to enter autonomous Qi free flow (without the help of a master-- In fact I was a bit freaked out when it first happened) where my arms felt weightless and my spine started strongly slowly moving all "wavy" like a strong magnet, and my body started wanting to dance around and do symetrical stretches and twisting exercises.... My chakras seemed quite open and I started to feel extremely light-headed. . . .and then I started to miss my "old self" so: am trying to become less qi-sensitive but still want the health benefits of qigong because I have many health problems and also certain mood disorders.... I did many kinds of crazy experiments to myself such as put white sage plant energy into my third eye and middle Dan Tien... And now am a bit sad I feel so "funky". . . whenever I face my hands towards one anther I feel energy flowing between them.... err.. how do I "close" my chakras and stop feeling qi, but still get the health benefits? I don't want to open my third eye. I don't want to always feel qi. I don't want my chakras always open. I don't want enlightenment. I want to be able to feel gravity in my arms and legs again. Thanks you guys so much.