roger

I don't know, but I wouldn't mind having a Daoist president

There are few things more dangerous than a person with great courage and little love.

The need to intimidate arises from a need to protect (often subconscious) vulnerabilities?

And definitely imo involves a desire to be "special".

Most people interpret their divine will, the will of their Self, as a desire to be special and superior.

That's a major block and must be reinterpreted as a pure desire for love and truth.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. How some people can be perceived as quite intimidating and others not at all. Surely has a lot to do with energy, building up of Chi and Self Confidence but I feel there is more to it.

 

What about a martial artist who is always perfectly calm? Could be a very intimidating person.

 

Silence can intimidate people.

 

What are your thoughts on energy and intimidation?

There are different kinds of intimidating. For example, some people are very intimidated by those they're very sexually attracted to. I know that's not what you mean, but I'm just saying that there could be many different kinds of reasons to get intimidated. Some are intimidated by those they admire. Or by people whose approval they long for.

One kind of intimidation is of the "bully". The jerk. In that case, I feel that it's important to know that such people definitely aren't as "tough" as they might seem. Rather, they're AFRAID.

It's often hard to distinguish between strength and weakness. But ACIM says that people generally confuse the two.

The obvious example of this is that kindness can pass as weakness, and meanness as strength. ACIM is saying that that's a misunderstanding.

There's a book called "Assholes", that defines the term. Basically, it's a person with a double-standard. They demand a respect and acceptance that they don't offer others. Such people are really very afraid and, imo, quite immature.

 

This may be of interest (it's long!)

 

Narcissism –The shadow of transpersonal psychology

 

Abstract

Narcissism comes ,in two ,variants: Ego-inflation and the Moses complex. While the former is exhibited by pathological grandiosity, the latter is marked by excessive self- devaluation and lack of self-esteem. In group contexts, both are found in the symbiotic appearance of charismatic,leaders and worshipping,followers. Both are subtle forms of spiritual defense mechanisms,against the true spiritual task of finding and transcending one’s “true” self. Because of its specific topic transpersonal psychology is particularly likely to attract people with narcissistic problems ,and one should ,be aware ,of this. Some practical implications are pointed out. Key words: narcissism, self, spirituality, self-esteem 3

 

 

Thanks for sharing this.

I had a friend who always felt guilty and was obsessed with how "evil" (his exact word) he was. He would always talk about how wrong his thoughts and behaviors were, and even had scrupulosity (the obsessive fear of going to hell).

I eventually saw that he was very self-righteous and competitive, and even though he told me that I respected him so much that it made him uncomfortable, he nevertheless was very judgmental and critical towards me.

My point is that I agree with you that low self-esteem and self-degradation can be a sign of pride and narcissism.

"Specialness" and guilt often go together. If someone feels overly guilty about making a mistake, it's like it matters so much that THEY messed up, that THEY aren't perfect. Pride can make people intolerant of themselves and their failures.

The truly humble thing to do is forgive yourself and know that it's okay that you're not perfect and make mistakes.

Einstein said, "There are two ways to live; one is as if nothing is a miracle, the other is as if everything is."

I see being "awake" as recognizing how incredible everything is, how amazing it is that we exist at all, how divine love is, what a miracle the life within us is. Even objects like a pencil have an ultimacy, an extraordinariness about them.

Everyone already knows about this ultimacy, and it's basically obvious, they just don't think about it often. It's like we take it for granted. We keep it at bay, at a safe distance, out of our conscious minds.

Incidentally, who is "Abraham"?

Abraham is the group of non-physical entities channeled by Esther and Jerry Hicks.

You are such an accepting and forgiving person Roger.  I do admire that.  I'm not there though.

Thanks MH. But in honesty, I've had a whole lot of anger, up until recently.

My experience here at this website has definitely helped me find healing.

You might be more loving and accepting than you give yourself credit for. Just a feeling I get.

Karl,

Someone once said, "I don't have enough faith to be an atheist."

My honest opinion is that it requires more faith NOT to believe in God (or at least in some kind of ultimate or supreme intelligence or Self), than it does TO believe.

Of course, it depends on the person, right?

Blame and accusation.

That's why we need to know that we're all innocent- no one is guilty.

Everyone is doing their best.

The verdict: NOT GUILTY!

Something I learned from Abraham about making decisions and solving problems has helped me a lot. It's a huge breakthrough, because all my life I've done it the wrong (ineffective) way.

If you want to make a good choice, solve a problem, or "figure something out," then FIRST connect (Abraham calls it "alignment"), first get at peace, THEN think about it.

The ineffective approach is to come from a place of frustration or need, from a sense of "lack," and to tackle the problem with that mindset.

When you first get at peace, and then approach the matter, the solutions come.

Part of Krishnamurti's point, imo part of the essence of his teaching, was that "spirituality" just makes people MORE egocentric, MORE self-centered and self-absorbed.

When I look at my own path, at myself, I see this.

It's like MY path, MY life, MY experience, MY enlightenment, have been of supreme importance to me.

Is that good?? Maybe it is, the truth is I really don't know.

We have to care for and tend to our lives and paths, we should CARE about succeeding.

But what about "freedom from self" and "dying to self"?

Is the kind of self-concern people have good?

Please share your thoughts if you have any.

Uhapy,

Some progress faster than others probably because their heart is more in the right place, and their intention and desire is more pure.

You could meditate for decades and not find what you're looking for, or you could have a great breakthrough in a day, and bypass the need for years of meditation.

Do you see my point? It's a matter of willingness, of free-will, of desire and intention.

When your heart isn't in the right place, spiritual practice becomes grounded in ego and pride, and is a substitute for divine love and a more honest spiritual life.

sagebrush,

I've smoked pot a few times, and the effect on my perception the breathing technique has is similar to it.

Meaning is a difficult concept, but ultimately, I think the meaning of things is simply love. Or, you could put it a number of different ways, as long as the One Reality, the Dao, the Universal, is what you mean. I'm saying that that one thing is all there is, and is meaning itself.

So in terms of content, as opposed to form, love, Dao, truth, or however you want to put it, is the meaning of breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth.

Why is that the case? There's an innocence, a naturalness, a divine nature to it, much like Qigong techniques.

I think it's important to distinguish between content, and form. Content is either love, or fear (the apparent absence of love); form is whatever particular way those two things happen to manifest in a situation.

The breathing is a form of love, which is why it's effective.

edit: Btw, I prefer to breathe out through both the mouth and nose, and I think anyone who tries it will probably find it easier and more natural.

Hello

 

Is there a good book about daoist breathing techniques ?

 

 

Kind Regards

 

Frederick

Frederick,

A very simple technique is simply to breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth. A variation is to breathe in through the nose and out through both the nose and mouth, which is somewhat easier.

You can be mindful of the breath, or just let your mind be natural, without paying attention to the breath.

I usually enter into a somewhat altered state of consciousness when I do this breathing technique, like I've smoked pot. It can enhance perception. That's probably because the act of breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth has spiritual meaning and is an activity of one's divine Self, much like Qigong techniques.

Karl,

There's the absolute and the relative.

In the absolute sense, everything is God's will, and is perfect and best.

In the relative, there's such a thing as imperfection and "bad".

You could liken it to a movie. Suppose a bad guy kills a good guy in a movie. The analogy is that in the absolute sense, it was a perfect part of the movie; but in the relative, in the movie, it was imperfect and bad.

What I believe is that everyone shares God's will, and always does that will BECAUSE it's their own will. A quote from A Course In Miracles is, "The function of the Teacher of God is to see no will as separate from his own, nor his as separate from God's," and, "There is no will but God's. I cannot be in conflict."

Where does this leave free-will? You see, we have free-will, but NOT choice. Everyone is always CHOICELESSLY doing the will of God, because it's their own will. In other words, one MUST do THEIR OWN will.

This doesn't imply that we should be apathetic or passively accepting of "bad" things, because there's the relative. Another thing is that, even though everything that happens is everyone's will, things are NOT always one's CONSCIOUS WISH, and shouldn't be. Emmanuel (a non-physical, channeled entity) said that to say it's your conscious desire is "to make a cruel statement".

But it's not cruel to say that all is as God, and everyone, wills it- it's love and joy!

There was a man who lost his wife and children, and his friend told him, "God would never have wanted this," and the man replied, "DON'T take away from me the one thing I have!" In other words, it was his comfort that what happened WAS God's will, not that it WASN'T.

It's more loving and compassionate to say that everything is happening as it should, according to a divine plan, than to say that it isn't.

The divine plan is for All That Is to FULLY experience life, love, and truth, therefore all possibilities exist. The plan is for "all good things" to be, therefore every possibility has to happen somewhere. Just as without anger, forgiveness couldn't exist, and without sickness, there would be no such thing as healing, without ALL POSSIBILITIES, "all good things" couldn't happen.

Soaren,

Thoughts, like any other choice, are either born of love, or fear.

It may be that in a certain situation, the loving choice would be to not think, to be mentally quiet.

Otherwise thoughts should be born of love, which could take many different forms, but should give you peace and not create inner conflict or suffering.

Often people have patterns of thought where they continually think the same things over and over. That's really an escape and arises out of fear. If you find yourself obsessing or frequently replaying the same things, respond to it with loving thoughts, or by quieting your mind- whichever gives you peace.

There's a book that contains probably the greatest practical wisdom of any book I've ever read. It completely blew my mind, and was exactly what I needed to hear.

It's called, "The Art of Living," by Epictetus (an ancient Roman philosopher), translated by Sharon Lebell.

If you want to take your wisdom to the next level, I can almost guarantee this book will help you do that.

edit: at first I put Greek, but he was actually Roman

Mark,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Peace and joy to you.

Like if we see someone who is just a grim sad bozo who feels helpless, can we tell them who they  are or is that immoral?

I don't mean what some of you less evolved might have meant after reading that sentence. Is it wrong to tell people who are sighing and rubbing their chins against their desk that they are pure light?

It entirely depends on the exact nature of the circumstances imo.

The specifics of the situation matter.

Your conscience will tell you if you should share your understanding, if you are willing to listen to it.

Fair enough, so what about the person on the receiving end, will their life be impacted in any way? Karmically? I am of course assuming a fairly healthy fantasy (although that would be quite debatable, wouldn't it? LOL)

 

Let's speak as adults here, I mean most of us with libidos do have naughty minds

 

Ps: I have to admit I do feel like a child asking this question, but I sometimes get the image of an über feminist type putting her clothes back on and whacking me over the face for my mental sin!

What I think is that, ultimately, every thought we have affects others. But our thoughts affect US far more than they affect others.

It's best to engage in loving fantasies. An aggressive or otherwise unloving fantasy will affect the fantasy partner only very minimally, but will affect the one fantasizing definitely negatively.

Every choice, including every thought, is born either of love, or fear.

Even sexual fantasies can be healthy and arise out of love, rather than fear.

Ramana Maharshi on effort...

 

“There is a state beyond our efforts or effortlessness. Until it is realised effort is necessary. (…) Effort is necessary up to the state of realisation. Even then the Self should spontaneously become evident. Otherwise happiness will not be complete. Up to that state of spontaneity there must be effort in some form or another.”

 

“Effort is needed so long as there is mind.”

 

– Ramana Maharshi

Thanks Bindi.

That's an interesting quote, and probably a very good point.

Is it harmful to imagine yourself having sex with someone you know? Some say sexual fantasizing is a healthy and natural part of being human, others call it astral rape. What do you think??

I think it's not only unwise to believe and teach that sexual fantasizing is wrong, I wholeheartedly believe it's dangerous.

Spiritual growth requires courage, not effort.

This is something I've learned from my own experience.

Attack, vengeance, and mistreating others are obviously not loving or healthy ways of dealing with anger, nor are they self-loving.

Other unhealthy ways of dealing with anger are using drugs, drinking too much, being promiscuous, secluding yourself from society......I'm sure you can think of many more.

The problem is that if a person is dealing with their anger in unhealthy ways, it won't go away. They won't solve the problem of anger, they'll just be creating new problems and will still have the original problem.

I've found that the very good news is that you don't need a HEALTHY way of dealing with anger. Just be angry. You'll let it go naturally if you don't deal with it in unhealthy ways.

You'll also get better with time at letting it go, as long as you don't revert to unhealthy ways of handling it.