rezonator

I disagree.

thanks.

Is it possible to naturally raise serotonin levels? Exercise, something else? Ive long suspected that mine are low. I probably used all mine up eating Ecstasy in the early '90s.

What does escaping duality entail?

I dont know a whole lot about "transcending dualities" but I cant find anything there I outright disagree with. I think our emotional response to a thing is based on how that thing or event affects our well being. If something is good for us, we respond with positive emotions, if something is bad we respond negatively. And I do agree that there is a mean, a sliding scale to this. In this way, we are the masters of our emotions, as long as we see them for what they are, and our values are rational.

An irrational value, for example, would be (in my case) getting hooked on a drug. My rational mind tells me it's poison, and it'll destroy my life. But desire, fear, and a whole mixture of other emotions are taken as primaries and reason is given a back seat. Things that are bad for our well being should elicit (for the most part) negative emotions, the only way they do the opposite is if we hold an irrational value.

The only question is how exactly we determine what is objectively good for our well being.

I see that as a reversal of cause and effect. No matter how mundane the experience, if it elicits an emotional response, it arises from a value judgement. Same for pain or pleasure, muscle fatigue (pain) from an intense workout can be pleasurable because you value physical exertion as a means to health and fitness. Pain from a slap in the face elicits a very different emotional response, ie. anger, distress, etc. unless my value hierarchy is irrational I cant just choose to experience this as pleasure. (and turn the other cheek perhaps) To believe otherwise, in my opinion, puts the cart before the horse.

Pain and exhaustion are not emotional states though. I cant possibly love sadness and hate, that would be irrational. I value happiness and things that make me happy. Emotions come from our values.

This interests me as well. I never remember my dreams. I cant recall the last time I had a dream.

I don't think its as simple as choosing to be happy, or choosing not to be sad. An emotion is an automatic subconscious response to events, based on our values. The fact that it is automatic means that it can be evaluated, observed, acted upon or ignored. But you cant choose to make it something it's not.

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Perfect Egg, glad to hear about your brother. Its funny you mention "pura vida", Ive been to Costa Rica a few times and I love the country and the people. I normally stay in Puntarenas. I made a few friends in Esparza on my last trip.

Iron Munkee, alcohol isnt my main problem either, it was just the first hurdle to overcome on my path to freedom. Its sounds like youre headed in the right direction, good luck to you on your path.

Kumachan, thanks for your encouragement. Im still working on myself, Im almost where I need to be. Everyday Im improving, little by little.

thanks,

j..

If you can..pull yourself back to this moment and see the feeling for what it is, transient and finite.

I know what you mean, thats good advice.

thanks,

j..

Man Cardinal feeding his babies.

Northern Flickers in my backyard. The first image is 2 females fighting. The second photo shows the winner getting it on with the male. (oops, other way around)

My cousin recently turned me on to Haruki Murakami, Ive only read one of his novels so far but I plan to read more.

My favorite recent non-fiction: Deep Survival by Lawrence Gonzales.

Some good news: Ive gone from a pint of Vodka a night for the last 10 years to no alcohol at all for the past week.

Surprisingly other that some dizziness in the morning and difficulty getting to sleep the first few nights its been pretty easy.

I'm gonna go ahead and say, I've quit drinking.

j.

Thank you all for your time, and your thoughts. Well, things are about the same around here. I came close to getting over the physical sickness, then, like always, an opportunity presented itself at the worst possible time and I slid backwards a bit. My attitude is still positive. Footprint, thanks for your thoughts. Other that reading, I have begun some basic stretching and Qigong movements (8 brocades, getting comfortable in horse stance etc. simple stuff). Once I feel that I can actually commit myself I plan to find a class in my area.

learning to be with myself,

j..

What a complete ignoramus.

Hello. I would say good luck, but luck has nothing to do with it.

Just remember, a second is just a second, a minute just a minute, a day just a day. Focus on being free of craving and need for just this moment. Hopefully soon the fight will get easier, then it will end. Then you're free to just let things flow naturally.

j..

Thanks for the help.

Ok thanks. Im confused though. That looks like what I know as Tai Chi, people have been recommending Qigong. How are these different? Lets pretend I know nothing about what Im talking about.

Thanks for that. A retreat would sure be the best option, but its just not in the cards right now. Ive got a positive attitude, I think I can do it this time. Its hell, but its only temporary. A week or so of misery is worth the freedom Ill gain, Im literally a slave right now, mind and body.

Ive always had this nagging feeling that once I actually put in the work to get clean, something horrible would happen to me. That just goes to show how nasty this drug is, its putting tons of negative thoughts in my mind about getting sober. Theyre not rational and I know it, but theyre still there.

The Tao Te Ching is my focus right now, studying, contemplating "what does this mean to me"? "how is this meant to help me"?

dont ever touch the shit.

j..

thanks.

Thanks. I really want to avoid the 12 step programs. Like you said, the "higher power" thing turns me off. That and, I see it as replacing one addiction with another. I dont want to spend my time with a bunch of junkies talking about drugs all the time. Its like a church, a religion to those people. Im not into that, I want to do this on my own, I want to drop it and put it away, not dwell on it for the rest of my life.

Ive done damage to my brain, my pleasure/reward circuit is messed up, I just need to find a way to put things back in balance. I think meditation and the Tao can help me with that. I just dont know how to get started, I dont want to waste any more time.

Thank you. How did you start Qi gong? Can you point me in the right direction? Also, I almost never "whack off", but why would it be important to stop?

thanks,

j..