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About SecretGrotto

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  1. Lungs acupunctured by Thunder

    Funny, cause I thought standing in ZZ was to eat more bitter. Ok, so I have used Aloe Verox juice, available from our grocery store as an all-round remedy for various ailments related especially to the liver and kidneys. It is quite bitter, and I take half a shot in the morning and evening. I have also used two shots of wheatgrass every evening, which makes me sleep very deeply, but it is quite sweet so I'm not so sure it is good for my spleen situation. Anyhoo, I can definitely feel something starting to change in my lungs. You might recall that before, I mentioned that I can feel phlegm in my lower lungs, but that it is too low to cause a coughing reflex. Now the past day or so I actually started to cough. I can feel something happening in my middle lung area and at times in my throat. I have almost the same feeling as I have had during the start of the imbalance. There is almost like a sore spot, but energetically sore, developing in the middle of my chest. If I was optimistic I would take it as a sign that the imbalance is reverse its coarse to the beginning, and that it is the bitter juice that instigated the change. Thanks for the advice, I'll keep eating bitter, or drinking bitter. To add, this has been a great lesson for me in TCM organ theory. Firstly the counter-intuitive idea that your digestion would generate or influence your lungs so directly...far out. The suggestion for bitter does also make a lot of sense to me, if we are talking about a diet-caused damp phlegm which is something fatty, then the bitter helps to stimulate the gall bladder to release more gall and clear the fatty phlegm from the digestive system. Please let us continue the discussion, because with every post you make I appear to be getting better! Thanks so much.
  2. Lungs acupunctured by Thunder

    Aetherous, I mulled over your words the past couple of weeks, looking for signs in my organs, trying to see the connections. I have become distinctly aware of the drastic effect of my dietary intake on my lungs: my lungs respond in varying ways after a meal as if it is "pulling in" a state of congestion from the digestion. In other words, my lungs tend to become congested more or less very rapidly depending on the food I eat. Like my lungs are absolutely predisposed toward a type of mucus congestion that starts from the bottom of the lungs upward. You know when you eat very mucus producing food you may actually cough to get the slime out? Now the congestion I am feeling is too low in the lungs for me to have a coughing reflex. If I eat sweet foods then the effect on the lungs are pronounced. This made clear to me the connection between the spleen and lungs, and now things are making more sense. The whole time the effect has been felt in the lungs, but the cause is in the digestion. The Cod Liver Oil did a number on my spleen I suppose, resulting in deeply trapped damp in the spleen. As you say, the spleen generates the lung, so that damp is now working its way into my lung. Man, it is radical how CLO f*cked my sh*t up, so to speak, driving me to the goddamned brink. I'm going to try and catch Dr Peter Yuan when I'm in NYC, apparently he is a really good TCM practitioner and herbalist. I think it makes sense, that if digesting a bad substance got me into this mess, that digesting the antidote can get me out of the mess. Blue eyed snake, excessive CLO (1tbsp/day for 3 months) and spleen apparently don't play well together. It's funny how at every turn I realize how little I understood what the f*ck was wrong with me, hopefully I can get a good karma writeoff from this ordeal. It has made me fairly stoic though, so I have learnt to curb my expectations.
  3. Lungs acupunctured by Thunder

    Aetherous, thank you for the kind words and thoughts. I do like to believe that there is a solution and end to this trouble. I will continue visiting even other TCM doctors. I do perform daily loosening, standing and song gong exercises. I have done some qigong at times to see the effect, but it any effect is only temporary. I get the sense that my lung tissues were 'softened' for many months in the daily spoonful of cod liver oil I was taking, which clearly suffused my lungs, and that now the lung tissues have trouble in normalizing. There is still at times a clogging feeling in the lungs, and at times I can feel the incoming air being really cold and fresh. In the mornings when I wake up, my lungs feel 'rotten', heavy and 'clogged' although my breathing isn't too belaboured. At times I can sense no trace of the issue, then it insidiously returns, flares up, now already for months and months. And I have expressed my desire in thought word and emotion to let go of this disease, so I don't think it is me trying to hold on to the disease or anything like that.
  4. Lungs acupunctured by Thunder

    There was another big thunderstorm yesterday. The discomfort I felt was notable. I have been eating more yang food, eggs and meat, and I can feel this food creating slime in the lungs and throat. I am still reeling from the storm yesterday, so much discomfort, almost pain in the chest, burning in the throat, coughing. The one TCM doctor said there isn't anything wrong with my lungs, but I can tell you I'm damn sure there is something wrong with my lungs. Probably a yin-yang imbalance. The doctor would not prescribe herbal treatment, but I have a strong sense that herbs are exactly what is needed to restore balance. It's very hard to get my diet to balance my lungs. I always have some degree of discomfort in my lungs, and my diet can greatly affect the fluctuation of discomfort. I just feel like if I don't get real healing I would not be able to ever be normal again. This discomfort is making me emotional, temperamental, and it's hard to focus on my work at times, my relationships strain as I spend so much thought on the discomfort I am in. I try to be optimistic and even forget about it, but it's always right there, something gripping my throat and lungs. Much of this imbalance was the CLO suffusing the lymph nodes and lungs, and I could feel it lift from these once I stopped, but the imbalance remains. I wish I could get to a TCM doctor that would know how to address this issue, because it is very well spoiling the little semblance of a life I have. I am going to NYC over Christmas for work, but believe me this is a once a year opportunity to get to the US. I am going to meet with Robert Peng, and maybe Zeev Kolman as well. At the worst moment in my crisis I failed to find a reason to continue this life, but for the belief that if I respawn I'll just have to basically pick up where I've left off, and for the impact on other people's lives. All because it was recommended to me to use CLO regularly by a family member, when this was wholly inappropriate for the condition I had. I don't know if I'll be able to heal fully in this life. I am working toward congenital SHO within the next 3 years, maybe that'll help. But it has just been a slow, painful grind most of the way and if it were not for me treasuring vitality I would've given in. Sounds like I'm complaining about nothing right? Many people have much more real problems and diseases, and to them go my thoughts and well wishes also.
  5. Lungs acupunctured by Thunder

    I went to see a TCM doctor who previously worked some time in Chinese clinics after graduating from Cheng Du TCM college in 1992. Did the full organ pulse readings, tongue reading, hand reading and proceeded with acupuncture, cupping and rub down. My main complaint was my lung troubles. Said I was too yin/cold and that I needed a higher energy input like sunlight; said I didn't have to do so many things to try and stay healthy; said I had clear digestive issues and that would be the main thing to treat; couldn't find anything wrong in the lung pulse. Told me that eating an apple for breakfast was a no-go and that I needed a more warming yang meal like eggs. Then I realized I continued making a mistake with my diet that contributed to yin-related lung troubles even after stopping CLO months ago: I ate an apple for breakfast, whilst I could feel myself coughing up moisture especially after eating the apple. The cognitive dissonance was the web telling me apples are good for the lungs, I failed to see that it would mostly be good only for lungs which did not have enough moisture to begin with/ lungs that are yang. I am making an effort to get in a proper warming breakfast around 7am now everyday, and skipping apples and yin foods with the exception of a couple of shots of wheatgrass juice in the evenings. I'd love to go keto to be less moody and not to be swayed by my blood sugar so that I can achieve equanimity. I had an amazing experience last week when fasting where I could do focused work for 5 hour stints. Problem is that I get eczema/psoriasis on my lips as an inflammatory response to a number of foods: eggs, milk protein (milk, cheese, yogurt), nuts, gluten, which makes it pretty hard to go full keto. TCM doctor says that these types of allergies can be cured as it is just a defect of the digestive system, and I asked her what if it's genetic and she maintains that it doesn't matter, it can still be cured, but she couldn't tell me how. Most important lesson for me was then to ensure yin-yang balance in my diet. I'm hoping I can balance my lungs. The TCM doctor didn't want to prescribe any herbs to balance my lungs. Acupuncture didn't do much that I could notice, nor did the cupping, but hopefully it took some excess iron out since I rarely donate blood. The thunder/lightning is an extreme yang fire element, so if my lungs were excess yin then what was experienced sorta makes sense.
  6. Lungs acupunctured by Thunder

    Something very interesting has happened to me the past weekend. My injured lungs were acutreated by the first thunderstorm of Spring, in a quick burst whilst I was locked indoors with windows locked, with thunder occurring more than a mile away. Before and during the thunder my lungs experienced a lot of discomfort and pain, and then, the day after, my lungs felt the best it has for some time. If you were following my other thread you would have read that I injured my lungs with hot steam inhalation and subsequent long use of CLO which prevented lung recovery. My theory is that thunder is extreme in the fire element and the metal lungs are consequently agitated by it, which could act like the agitation caused in acupuncture to promote energy flow through stimulation. Given the acute lung response to energetic elements, I am hopeful that acupuncture and TCM could be a powerful treatment for me. Why haven't I gone for treatment yet? My acupressurist have retired and my efforts to get to another were delayed, I'm soon to go for treatment with another acupuncturist and we'll see how it goes. I am optimistic.
  7. Zhan Zhuang - Leg/Low back meridians - advice

    Vitamin K2 appears to enhance osteocalcin production, which interacts with the Leidig cells in the testes to produce more Testosterone. I felt the heightened levels of testosterone with 3000% RDA K2 supplementation as an overall body energy as well as semen leakage. Testosterone is naturally converted into DHT, which binds to receptors in hair follicles thus choking them and producing thinning hair. I felt this pronouncedly in my scalp during K2 supplementation, seeing thinning and receding hair. However, with more moderate K2 supplementation, it's hard to see these effects.
  8. Zhan Zhuang - Leg/Low back meridians - advice

    Thanks Orion, great recommendations and suggestions, I didn't know about the effectiveness of hyaluronic acid so I'm definitely keen to start experimenting with the combination of supplements you suggest. I actually had to stop taking separate vitamin K2 supplements because it just generated too much testosterone and consequently DHT which exacerbated hair loss. I have reduced my bone supplement intake as it appears (thank God) that my teeth have stabilized enough, still brushing with saliva only and teeth sensitivity is way down. Constantly suffusing my brain with brahmacharya literature to brainwash myself into complete lifelong abstinence, the alternative would be as good as death for me. Sexual desires are never satisfied - and in trying to satisfy them life is lost.
  9. Mizner/Discover Taiji

    It's 4 videos a month, one every week. I live in too remote an area to get regular access to Taiji teachers, so I'm more than happy to pick up some things from the online video course so that I am more prepared when I do get chance to attend a seminar.
  10. Zhan Zhuang - Leg/Low back meridians - advice

    Just a quick update from me. You may see in my previous posts that I was quite depressed about my lung injury, after breathing in hot steam in May. My condition appeared to worsen and to such a degree that I was grief-stricken and had to find the will to keep on (with life). I actually started using cod liver oil, as I was told by multiple people that constant use of CLO has helped them with their lung infections. Little did I know that CLO would, in fact, worsen my condition and through constant use I ascribed the worsening condition to the original injury and not the CLO. Things were to get worse before it got better, as I started to increase my CLO dosage for an entirely different reason: Vitamin A boost for teeth sensitivity I have been experiencing. I have used Sensodyne for many years because of teeth sensitivity, even though I did not previously have crownings done and only had one or two cavities filled in as a child. Then I started experimenting with Vitamin K2, but I could only get it in cheese in the beginning, brie to be exact. After consuming close to 50g brie per day I could soon tell that the perforated texture of my teeth began to become more glass-like. So I did have some eroded enamel and apparently as a non-organic substance it cannot grow back, yet the lower layers of dentine does. Vitamin K2 appears to provide glass-like, enamel-like finishing to teeth. Now I'm using a 1000% K2 supplement and a bone-booster supplement (which smells like semen, which is a good sign) and my teeth sensitivity appears to be gone. I do not brush with toothpaste anymore, just with saliva, but I do cleanse my mouth and tongue with baking soda (which is a god-send for my life-long case of halitosis due to a very matty tongue that deserves a TCM reading). And, as fate would have it, I would increase my use of CLO at every sign of my lungs getting worse, thus snowballing the effect, until two weeks ago when the realization hit me and I dropped CLO completely. It might seem silly now in retrospect. CLO has an incredible affinity to the lungs and I realize that it suffuses the lungs, and I could feel over the last week how the iron grip of CLO evaporated from my lungs. My lungs are still recuperating, but daily are there new sensations in the lungs, which makes me hopeful that recovery is in progress. I also started training song with Adam Mizner's online training program, upon recommendation by Damo Mitchell. This has improved my ZZ and the sensations of pain I had in the very beginning are now completely gone. I have started to integrate song into my daily bodily conduct and it really is amazing how much tension the body can hold onto. When I started letting go of the bulk of the tension I could feel my fatigue lessen and the efficiency of movements improve. I am very much intrigued by the thought that proper taiji relies primarily on song and ting as its core functional operations and how that can lead to a very effective fa jin martial application that confounds common sense. I have maintained a high level of celibacy for four months now and my spine is warming up nicely now with LDT sensations heightened especially around midday and at full moon. I would say that my jing is stabilizing enough for me to start attempting the firing process soon. I am doing my first 10 day retreat over Christmas this year, and if everything works out I may start the process. I have been training in the Yu Xian Pai school for more than a year now, but I feel that The White Moon on the Mountain Peak is adequate guidance in proper alchemy. Thus far I have been lacking proper jing stabilization so I could not really engage in alchemy, but conditions appear to be aligning for me in the near future to work on congenital SHO. The Hawaii seminar of Wang Liping is just too expensive for me, but I might catch his European one next year. I am also signed up for Damo's neigong seminar next year. My sincere hope is that I can present fertile soil to whichever teacher I attend, through my daily practice of ZZ and my mindful accumulation of jing. It was a difficult past three months for me because of my lung injury and my self-inflicted subsequent poising with CLO, and I experienced some religious turmoil, you could say, because my prayers didn't appear to have much effect. But in the meantime I was my own worst enemy and I suppose there was a lesson in there for me to learn. I know that was by far not the biggest curveball life was to throw at me, so I just hope I can be more resilient when the next battle strikes. Thank you for all the advice and pm's you have made, it is appreciated.
  11. Zhan Zhuang - Leg/Low back meridians - advice

    I had a very supportive grandmother, and I always felt that without her I would also have ended up much worse than I have, I am very grateful for that. I have been doing the asian squat daily and over the weekends I get to see some sun so I squat with the sun on my back for some time and that seems to help a lot. Also with my recent depression. I am starting to dread the night and I cannot wait to fall asleep, mostly because of my recent lung injury. I breathed in hot steam over two days in May and it scorched my lungs, even though nothing happened to my nostrils or nasal passages. I could almost not breathe for a good 50 days afterward. It seemed to get better after 2 months but now it is flaring up again. It is like I have an impending cough, my throat and lungs feel constricted. I have had to make peace over the last year that I would not be able to have sex or a romantic relationship until I have a real healing breakthrough. Even now, after more than a 100 days of no sexual indulgence whatsoever, the slightest sexual thought brings pain to my lower back. I am actually still a virgin at 31 and never had any real romantic relationship due to my introverted nature and focus on academics in my youth. How can I have a romantic relationship if I cannot have any sexual thoughts without pain? I will need to seriously work through my healing, probably over many years before I can become normal again. So I've had to make peace with that, which may seem difficult, but that's ok. What I do find hard however is not having my full lung function anymore, and having this constant constriction of my airways. I don't know what's going on in my lungs and if full recovery is even possible. I like to believe that it is, and that I have to keep positive. It is hard to live with this injury because it is felt at every breath, and this has caused some depression. During the worst of it I had suicidal thoughts and every way I sought to get real healing became unavailable to me. I told my father about the affliction, but not about the desperation as he was going through hardships with his health as well and my mother is also bipolar and suicidal at times so I did not want to concern him. Just an update on my zhan zhuang practice also. The pain centered at the hip joints actually disappeared, it is almost like it moved downward. Now the only discomfort is in the quads and glutes in a lower stance. There is less shaking overall and I can feel when the muscular quad tension invokes qi flow around the LDT and this morning it felt like it was moving over my chest as well. I can sense the connection between shaking and lack of dopamine response as mentioned before. It is like the endocrine systems are slowly balancing and more dopamine is released instead of the body shaking. I think it might be possible at the end to have a full body bliss in ZZ if everything is balanced.
  12. Zhan Zhuang - Leg/Low back meridians - advice

    Geez Andrei, this is the sort of diagnosis one pays for, wow, thanks. It'll take me some time to digest it's full meaning, but I am highly appreciative of your advice.
  13. Zhan Zhuang - Leg/Low back meridians - advice

    I have actually been wishing you would also respond, as I have received much wisdom from your posts. Thank you.
  14. Zhan Zhuang - Leg/Low back meridians - advice

    Thanks for your post, I really appreciate it, and it was not the answer I was expecting. I also had cold clammy hands increasingly from age 16 onward. Which - ion generator would you recommend I buy, I definitely want to try it out. Also, I am curious, what is the basis upon which negative ions can influence jing/qi?
  15. Zhan Zhuang - Leg/Low back meridians - advice

    Great advice all-round, thanks BES. At times I do make a long coherent sound and focus on the vibrations, and it helps. The slow gentle erosion of blockage is also a sensible idea. I'm starting to remember more of this low-back pain issue now. It has actually been a problem I've been struggling with increasingly from age 20 onward, exacerbated by frequent jing depletion and stressful days at university. What I remember is that the low-back meridians are directly tied to the fear impulse to defecate, or to shit one's pants when confronted by terror. I would often had to have bowel-movements before exams and such, as it relieved the nervous impulse, AND this fear impulse always worsened after jing depletion. When I would abstain from jing depletion then the problem would mostly go away. So I really feel as if all of this is connected, the low-back pain, kidney/jing deficiencies, lack of courage, defecation impulse, stress and fear, all of these are tied together. My 5 element natal chart shows very strong water element, but I am very weak in the other elements. I think maybe my kidneys could cope with the jing depletion and abuse/disregard, and that I tapped into other organs/meridians to fuel/cope with the excess demand, and now my energy body is deeply hurt/damaged around my lower-back/SJ.