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Thank you for making this opportunity available for others to share their experience in the Chinese Internal arts. My name is Eric Wilson . . . I trained and taught Chinese Kung-fu, Tai-chi, and Qigong for more than 24 years. And while I did realize a great manifestation of "internal" power, I also experienced some very strong negative effects. I am sharing my story and these experiences at the links below, and it is my prayer that these will be of help to those who also have had questions about the spiritual source of Chi and "internal" power. Thank you, Eric Wilson and family
As a cultivator and young man I've come to realize over time that it is highly desirable to adopt a physical practice, for reasons of energy movement dispersion, mental clarity, et cetera. There are many different practices available however, such as martial arts, bodybuilding, yoga. Are practices such as bodybuilding in which one acquires a certain material physique or skill, strength in accordance with the Dao? It seems to me that anything that focuses excessive energy on the self is anti-Dao, and physical strength, while an asset, is temporary, while spirit is eternal. I am seriously considering switching to yoga, as I feel that practices that develop a physique are excessively and inherently selfish. Thoughts?
I have a dedicated cultivation/meditation and practice sexual q-gong pretty much consistently now. Even though I have a partner I treat the relationship as an extension of the cultivation, which is good for the "relationship" part because I am always ready for her to share herself with me as the raw yang-desire (from the jing) is never satiated. This isn't a bad thing though! The idea is to take what is primarily an animal desire, let that flow through me, feel it, note it, but make the conscious choice to not waste this energy, and instead transform that into a yin-feeling. After that's done, i sort of have this feeling of "what is the big deal about?", and can cater with love to my partner's needs in a totally non-selfish manner. Even when my partner isn't around I get aroused normally during the day. I attempt to sublimate this energy. The best way I have found so far is, if I get a hard-on or lustful thoughts, to sit naked and cross legged in a quite room and meditate on the desire itself. Naked because it is, in my opinion, a relatively innocent way to feel in touch with your sexual center without being overly lustful. It's important to allow the lust feelings to pass through you (the horniness plays an element) but to make the intuitive realization that the desire comes from emptiness. I find it's best to envision myself in a situation in which I acted on lust, and to decide whether I would truly have been happy or not. Once I've let it go, I find that doing yoga is a great way to get rid of some of the heat. It's odd, but I feel like the true enlightenment comes when you feel sexually "full" and verified as a human but without the animal desire to commit an act of lust. Lust is an obstacle and I am curious to see if through enough cultivation I could rid the desire completely. By the way - I discovered that diet did play a role after all. My nocturnal emissions reduced to almost none since getting a partner, but especially after I became a vegetarian and stopped eating lots of "violent", dense or salty foods. I eat fruits and vegetable dishes with mild spices, and get protein from nuts and beans which are less harsh than meat. I also feel lighter and overall have more energy. Anyways - thoughts on all this?