Mushi

I question the same thing....I'm sure kittens everywhere are calling me the "Kitten slayer" while plotting my demise....Uh oh

You don't expect me to disagree with that perfect logic, do you?

 

Nicely spoken (written).

 

Peace & Love!

Yes, very nicely put

I try to understand why they occur, what I have done, what I have done wrong, to let them happen. Understanding helps to overcome them through insight. However, if they reach a certain level, clear thinking is impossible. In that case I keep in my mind that everything is transient - so are these emotions. This helps a lot, because it offers the possibility of perspective: it says, even if I feel desperate and hopeless, I can be absolute sure that this will vanish once, and I will be able to think clearly again - I just have to wait. One thing to shorten the time spent for waiting is that I do things which help me remain calm and avoid things of which I know that they keep my stress level higher. For instance, I practice more taiji, I meditate longer, I watch less TV and sit less at my computer, I go out more often and spend more time outside in the fresh air if I can, and I don't use alcohol and cigarette as stress-reducers.

Thats good that you dont resort to those kinds of bad habits to deal with stress They can only make things worse in the long run. And now that it is getting warmer outside, I should try to get out more as well. I spend aloooot of time sitting around when I should be out exercising, or just getting some fresh air. Thank you for sharing your perspective on things I often lose myself in the unhappy feelings instead of remembering that it is all temporary, so I end up dwelling on the stress

thank you for this post.

this has been a big struggle for me the last few months, trying to pinpoint everything, trying to understand, categorize, dwell... that always gets me in trouble.. i need to come back to the heart and let things flow.

 

even though i already know this deep within me, it gets buried, and its nice to hear/read a reminder. sometimes i wonder how something so simple, just letting go, can be so difficult... but i guess its because of the immense benefit one can gain from actually fighting this fight.

 

thank you.

Well said sister. Things we know we should do often gets buried under the emotions we feel, so we need other people to knock some sense into us from time to time. Funny how that works isn't it?

Exactly. And presence in the moment.

 

 

 

(I'll have to resort to putting E-prime on the back burner for this post I'm afraid )

 

Emotions can demolish our patterned illusion... This is the silver lining of strong emotions for the spiritually focused. Illusion is the product of the ego - The ego creates illusion to make itself seem real - patterned illusion is a constant argument for the reality of the ego.

 

Emotion is a small flow of reality into your awareness - it disrupts the constant control the ego has over you. That's why it feels so disorientating.

 

Now notice your inclination to pinpoint a reason for the emotion - the drive to figure out the explanation... this is the ego attempting to gain control again... This is what it does - it labels, and by labelling it assumes an imaginary form of control... once it has a story for something, it's again at the top of the hierarchy - the king of you. "I'm angry because my boss is obnoxious" - suddenly there's a label, a story a frame of reference - it's fine - I understand it - it's under control.

 

I suggest you don't find a reason, don't try to figure it out, don't name your emotions, don't even frame it in any Taoist/TCM framework... Just feel it in your body. Use your senses directly with no interpretation. Deer are known for their acute level of awareness... they respond to their senses directly - us humans tend to sense something - commentate on it - and then respond to the commentary. Remove those extra steps and just keep your attention on your senses - particularly kinasthetic sense - feeling.

 

"I just shut down from others and myself completely" - lots of repressed anger there... the energy behind anger needs to be expressed. Shutting down in the way you describe is what we do to repress anger so that we don't have to feel it... If you give it a chance and space in your body, and some physical outlet (shouting, shaking etc - seriously ) you'll find a new lease of potent energy.

 

Good luck - and thanks for reaching out publicly like this - it helps many people.

You know, I have actually been told that I think to hard about trying to label everything. I don't even realize when I'm doing it half the time. I have also been told that I justify too much, rather than just letting it be. Everything you said is true, and it makes sense. It might take a while for me to get the hang of just going with the flow, but I've known for a very long time that I basically need to chill out lol it will be a welcome change of pace once I get it though.

I tried shouting once, but I felt really silly afterwards lol I take that as another sign that I need to loosen up a bit more

Thank you all sooo much for taking the time to give your thoughts. It is all very good advice that I will somehow try to put into practice. Even though I never went into specifics about why I'm feeling the way I am (some of which I am still trying to figure out myself), I feel better at least somewhat expressing myself. I dont deal with my emotions very well, and it has gotten to a point where I just shut down from others and myself completely when I have to deal with them. Its strange when you have no idea what sparks the things you feel, or how you can feel so many strong emotions at once without being able to pinpoint a certain reason. Maybe I'm rambling but that's what I do

With all of the stress, doubt, remorse, and many other emotions I have been feeling lately, I find myself having trouble trying to cope and keep moving. I'm sure there have been countless other topics about this kind of thing, but I was wondering about how some of you deal with these kinds of pressures and icky emotions. Any advice is welcome

I was actually wondering the same thing

I honestly wouldnt know, so I'll just take your word for it Now I want to read it so I can better understand the reference! And thank you for the Welcome

So I my confusion must be helping me huh? I guess I'm off to a great start!

Recently an incident occured in my office involving a co worker who had botched an assignment in which he was supposed to work with some clients. The boss screamed at him non stop for what seemed like ages with all sorts of personal attacks and the whole experience made him feel very bad. The reason for his poor performance was that he somehow unable to establish a good relationship with these clients and communicate with them well; it wasn't that he was not trying to do his job or that the clients were nasty people. This particular guy told me he often felt nervous and impatient when talking to clients, even when he knew the answers to their questions and theoretically understood, to minute detail, what exactly he need to do and say when meeting them. It was like there was some internal reason why he just couldn't execute his plan and the harder he tried, the more he came off as pushy, annoying and defensive- which just drives people away. At a loss, people were telling him to "Just Relax", "Have Patience and Be Polite", "Have Confidence", "Focus" and "JUST DO IT" but it is clear that this wasn't helping him. This is a recurring problem and has left him very despondent indeed.

 

"I just feel like something is broken in my programming", he said.

"I know what to do inside and out but I just can't do it, it's not a question of willpower as I have been struggling all my life and haven't given up but don't seem to get anywhere with it."

 

When I heard him say this I came to the realisation that I too, suffer greatly from "broken programming". I could relate to exactly what he was trying to convey and I understood how helpless it must make him feel to see a lifelong weakness choke him out whenever he tries to get past it by pushing through it. It is like pushing some buttons on a TV remote control and not getting the intended response- the physical button is there and you can push it as hard as you want but something in the circuitry is not working properly and this prevents the device from performing as it should. With a remote control people will (if they resist the urge to hurl it in to a wall) either throw it away and get a replacement or ignore the problem. Very few will try to find out what is wrong with the circuitry and get it fixed.

 

Are Humans like remote controls?? I will never be convinced that they are.

 

But it seems that I am in the minority: in this and many cases that I have seen, most people just conclude that the person has a problem and will keep telling him:

 

"Try Harder"

"Keep pushing"

"Just DO IT"

and "RAAaaAArrRRGGGGHH!!!!"

 

and when this approach does not bring immediate improvement,

 

"You have a Problem"

"You are just Flawed"

"You are No Good at this"

"Go somewhere else, we don't want someone like YOU"

 

Is life really that Damning for people who have the misfortune to discover that they lack natural talent in some areas? Conventional wisdom based on the currently prevailing goal-oriented-results-driven-scientific-method paradigm would suggest it is. An awful lot of people seem so ready to dismiss any problem that cannot be solved by their conventional theoretic knowledge as a lost cause.

 

I myself have many experiences with 'broken programming' and am sure practically everyone does too. But looking within and admitting these weaknesses is already hard for many people, let alone finding a way to work through them.

 

The 'Try Harder' and "JUST DO IT" approach works for people who do not have a serious blockage in the particular field in question. Telling somene to try harder when it just is a matter of effort is common sense. But in my experience "broken programming" is beyond that. It is almost like some kind of internal/energetic blockage that causes abberant behaviour in certain circumstances; it can hardly be controlled through willpower alone and causes all sorts of problems.

 

Has anyone experienced anything like this? If so, if you are comfortable about speaking about them, what do you feel would be a good way to deal with them besides "Try Harder" and "JUST DO IT"? I have picked up meditation and to some extent, religion again now that I feel that the phsical scientific method has its limitations.

 

It is a shame that people should be driven to hopelessness over their current limitations. I feel that human potential is boundless and is there to be developed. We just need to go about it the right way.

 

Any thoughts welcome. (And my apologies for the long post.)

Wow, this really hit close to home with me. I have been feeling this same sense of failure in a way for as long as I can remember. I admittedly screw up alot of things. Even when I know how it should be done, I have trouble actually executing it. Many people have also told me that I am not trying and I need to work harder, but how is that possible when your mind and body literally feels like it just hit an invisible wall? You can see what needs to be done on the other side, but you cant reach it...I'm STILL trying to figure this one out :/ It has gotten to a point where I feel almost afraid to try things anymore, so I tend to give up sooner. Natural talent really does play a huge role in society these days. You either have it, or you dont. If your in the "dont" category, then society has no use for you...It's sad really

Well as you can see, I'm new. I am honestly very confused on where I am going with Taoism, and I have no idea how to even begin with it. It seems kind of overwhelming when I have no one to teach me much about it, but something about Taoism speaks to me in a way that I cant ignore. With all of the happenings in my life, I feel as if I have no direction, yet Taoism feels like it will give me some kind of....meaning. I dont want to feel as if I am just wandering around aimlessly. I may be confused right now, but I am hoping that everything will become clear. Joining this place seemed like a good place to start So I am excited to learn from you all! Ok, I think I am done rambling