Makyea

I disappeared from here for a long time. My path in life became twisted in so many ways.

A lot of things changed for me and I am finding my priorities and my self again.

I'll be around here a lot now. :]

I feel for those people. I always try to remind myself that with all the positive energy there has to be the bad and it has to go somewhere. Just as "good" people do "good" without really trying it's just what is inside them I think.

So, here it sounds like you want to segregate/compartmentalize/separate from your femininity & personal emotions. And you want to neuter yourself and become androgynous, more or less.

 

So, isn't that precisely what you're getting faced with now? Getting neutered? Spayed like a cat?

 

Careful what you wish for...

In a way I suppose. It bothers me so badly that I have to feel like they must be separate, but it is just how it is. People don't take a female seriously. I tell people I want to be a combat engineer and they laugh at me, tell me to go admin. But I think the female tendencies are more manly than the male ones.

I seem to have a different opinion than many of the posters here. It also seems this thread is tied in with the "manifesting" thread.

Sure, emotions can cause illness. How we perceive ourselves, how we empower negative aspects or fight against a natural aspect of ourselves. But it appears most of you that are posting seem to feel that this person's illness is all her own fault and is definitely a manifestation she caused due to her emotions.

In general, I disagree.

Many times these type of conditions are strictly hereditary. And if there is an actual physician on this board, as compared to armchair psychologists, I am sure he/she would agree.

I don't know what is causing her problem. But it seems to me the lady is being picked on unnecessarily.

They said that it came from nowhere there was no cause, no low estrogen, nothing. It just popped up. It could be hereditary I suppose, my mom did have one but she had low estrogen from medicine they were giving her.

Here's a completely different answer to the OP.

 

The ovaries and the eyes have a direct energetic relationship.

 

The issue with your right ovary is coming from your left eye and is a karmic issue.

 

It is the karma of blinding others, now cleared from your spirit.

 

And while we're at it, let's just clear all of the experiences of traumatizing others; that was especially weak for your ancestors.

I am sorry but this confused me. Could you explain more?

Hi Makyea, Manitou,

 

Manitou, I would like to commend you on an excellent post.

 

Makyea, if what Manitou said speaks to you, I can recommend a book I read lately: Anatomy of the Spirit: The Seven Stages of Power and Healing by Caroline Myss.

 

In the book the author speaks of similar and other conditions where she managed to "inspire people out of it". Through examples and by relating certain issues and feelings to each other she inspires the reader to search their own self and intuition for what they need for their own healing.

 

I wish you lots of happiness and all the best in your journey of getting to the bottom of your issues.

Thank you for the recommendation. It sounds like it would be helpful.

I have been to multiple doctors they all tried to prescribe stronger and stronger pain meds. I am going to try and try some of the technique you mentioned tonight after I get back from PT. I figure with doing both I may just be more relaxed and open and able to sleep better.

1) Is joining the "uber-macho" USMC your way of rejecting (psychologically/emotionally removing) the feminine aspect of yourself (similar to what manitou said)?

 

2) Do you feel that femininity = weakness and is something that should literally be removed from your body now? That an ovary (the very anatomical symbol of womanhood - is "bad?" - as your thread title states).

 

3) Do you feel that strength and femininity are incompatible (oxymoronic)?

 

4) What does it truly mean to be an "optimized"* female?

 

5) And what do you want most in life - power or love?

 

6) And which are you actually currently working towards with all your actions???

 

 

 

 

* Note that I did not say "strong" or "empowered" here, because those very terms are leading towards the acquisition of power. Which may or may not be your actual endgame. Whereas "optimized" is more open-ended.

I think I have always been hidden the girly parts of me. It isn't that I reject them. I love being female. I just think that I have a problem with outwardly sharing my femininity because it's like a cop out. All the women in my life who act "girly" are on the looser, less successful, no ambition side of life. In the USMC you aren't a girl, you are just a Marine and you are expected to be a Marine not a girl. I think I am joining because it's the ultimate way to separate my femininity from my outward life. Writing this down kind of sounds silly, haha.

Its not that I see femininity as weak or incompatible with strength but that it is attached with personal emotional things for me. Things I would rather keep to myself. I don't want to be expected to be a "girl" all of the time because it isn't me.

I think I am more on the love side of that.

I have had a lot of stress when it comes to my body. I have been adjusting and pushing my body hard to get to the place I want to be. Poolee functions are competitive. Recruiters want their recruits to be the best. Us recruits push hard to exceed our goals. But I don't think it is unhealthy or stressful. I used to hate my body but I think I am more or less over that.

I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to you all. I actually am at target Body comp. I am eating 6 times a day as much high quality well balanced foods. I have 3 marine workouts a week and try and go for a walk or run every day. My hair is growing faster than ever. I have a perfect menstrual cycle. They couldn't find a deficiency anywhere with my nutrition(I try to record the foods I eat daily because I have to make weight to qualify for the USMC.)

I feel uncomfortable a lot and frustrated like my body is rejecting me. I can't sleep at night and have now been having to sleep about 30 minutes after the sun comes up. I feel like my body despises me and wants me gone, if that makes sense.

Hello again everyone!

I seem to always come here with more and more 'uncurable' health problems, haha. Well here goes:

I was getting some bad pain in my right hip area. I went to the hospital as they progress thinking it was an appendix. They did tests because I am a woman and as my doctor said "Ladies just have so many dang parts." So after doing that they discovered about 2 cups of fluid flowing around my right ovary. They said there was nothing they could do but let my body reabsorb the liquid. So they prescribed a antibiotic to prevent infect and Vicodin. After doing ultrasounds and ct scans they said it went away. But lately again when I run, sit in a car, go to PT or a USMC Poolee Function I am in extreme pain. I went in a again and they said my right ovary has another cyst and that most women would go along with surgery to take the ovary out. My doctor seriously said "You just got a bad seed, best thing to do is remove it so you don't overwork the soil" I refuse to get rid of it for a very silly reason(they think so anyway) I just feel like I am less of a women and am losing a strong and important piece of myself. I was wondering what all of you(because you guys know loads more than I about this kind of thing) think. Is there some way to treat such a reoccurring issue? Could there be an imbalance? Is finding some way to deal with the pain instead of removing it? Any of your opinions about any of it.

I hate ignore buttons, seems so lazy.

I am sorry if this seems a bit random.

I woke up just now with this dreadful, heavy, almost depressed feeling. I got up and got some water and before I laid down again I noticed I had scribbled something down on my notepad I leave next to my bed. It read:

Life is funny. Is it conditioning us for contentment? "Stop reliving and hoping to be what you once were. You turned down that fate, deal with the consequences. It isn't failure if your heart beats," or is the fact that I almost believe that failure in itself?

It made me feel afraid and somewhat relieved because I think I subconsciously wrote down the things from the back of my mind that have been making me feel uneasy, but only led me to more questions. I was just wondering what your opinions were about it. How does it make you feel? What is failure to you? Is it alright to be content with life? Are those who are content and let life be just a heartbeat ungrateful for all the other chances they are given?

I am not searching for some great answer, just your true honest opinion.

Thanks guys. I am going to try and push through this bit of weakness with more positives than negatives. Thank you again for your advice.

Some basic math reminders that I'm sure you've already considered:

 

Option 1. The military will own you for at least several years and until you make around e4 and above or become an officer you will tend to get more of the shit details. (besides the military has the on-going need to send warm bodies to some middle-east combat zone)

 

Option 2. New born kids are a 24/7 job! If you feel out of sorts now then you can probably multiply that by 10 and add no sleep along with all of the potential health problems and joys of motherhood! And besides those obvious factors a fairly large percentage of your private life and daily activities will need to be sacrificed for the kids... further, unless you have a good support system of close family and friends to give you breaks it will take just about all of your time and energy! (btw, most younger men remain boys for a long time thus you might have to be raising and training a husband to)

 

Option 3. College, well it is not all cake but you can quit anytime and always switch back to option one or two, or create other options like join the Peace Corp, go fight forest fires, save the whales, become an under-paid social worker, an airline pilot, a cop, a self-employed business woman or whatever you can pull off.

 

Good luck

p.s. maybe some quality spearmint tea could help some of the conditions you mentioned, or perhaps a good cold beer and some old but fun type of rock and roll music.

 

Om

I think it is a good idea to break things down like this. I think I'll start working on a projected time line of my life based on my choices. I will end up doing a rough estimate on money when I am done. I think that maybe if I let my brain take hold and mesh this stuff out than I will have a bit more faith in my heart.

For anyone who doesn't know, ROTC

 

Makyea- I'm not in a very good position to be giving advice, because I'm rather all over the place these days myself, but this is what I would recommend based on what I'm doing now-

 

I would say first to find out what it is you find yourself thinking about all day. When you imagine your future self, it doesn't matter in what wild capacities you think of it as, what do you see yourself doing?

 

Then, meditate, but focus on your body, focus on you right NOW. What do you feel your present being wants to do/the directions it is going?

 

I have found that many times, what I want to do is more a projection of what others expect me to do, what I should do to fit into a certain role, or what I think I should be doing/how I should be doing it, but when I center on my body, and myself in the present, sometimes those things fall away, then again, sometimes they don't.

 

I usually go with the things that I 1) find myself doing/thinking about all the time, and 2) don't fall away as soon as I start a little meditation.

 

 

But who knows how that will work out for me in the future I have no guarantee this will work to a satisfying end (whatever that may be), so take this advice with caution.

I think I will try this. I hope it brings you to where you belong.

I don't know what an ROTC instructor is, but I agree that it would be better to make a decision when you are more centered in yourself. that way it will reflect you and not outside influences, because it is you who will be living that decision primarily. as for the symbolism you use between the heart and brain, I would go with your feelings above your thoughts, especially if they are strong and consistent. A final thing that comes to mind is to suspend self-judgment and just welcome and accept yourself no matter what thoughts come up.

I get so worried when I follow my heart, especially lately cause it seems to be putting me farther in this hole I am in.

Hello everyone!

I know I have been away for a while!

But I just have been feeling a bit odd lately and I am not sure what it is, why I feel this way, or how to feel better. I was hoping some of you have felt this way or have ideas on how to deal with it.

With pushes from my old ROTC instructors, parents, my boyfriend, and life in general I have been forced to think a lot more about my future plans. I have been working and attending classes everyday for a while now and I am feeling odd. I have been a lot more internal and a lot more on edge. I lost almost all trust in others and I have been mentally all over the place. I have been sick with pneumonia, bronchitis, and whooping cough for a month, and I have tried many different treatments so far but none have any effect. I feel as though I am in this dream and that I can only be free from the dream if I sleep. The best way I can describe it is like I am inside a ball and my body is spread all over the inside of the ball like a flat pancake. My seams are stretching, almost ripped and little bits of thought are slipping through. My emotions are spinning with the ball and my brain is repelled from my heart like a magnet. I never stop moving.

Now I am having to try and figure out whether I want to pursue my career in the military, go to the university, or be a stay at home mom. It is a decision I feel should not be made when I am in such an odd mood.

Has anyone ever felt this way?

p.s.

Sorry if it makes no sense, it's hard to explain.

These are really nice. I think it could be used for more than just recovery from addiction but also for recovery from self delusions and the need for a materialistic way of life-which is an addiction in itself-that many people including myself struggle with. I think that if there were programs that helped rid people of daily illusions and helped to show them their path that was as widely available as AA there would be much less ignorance to the importance of having your own life philosophy. Taoism might not be every person's answer, but this could help people find their own truths. For some self-worth grows only from a helping hand.

Complete Poems and Stories of Edgar Allen Poe

Hmong! CIA's Secret Army (Play)

Acting

The Rapture of Canaan

I read my books on rotation throwing new ones in when I can. I've read 2nd two books 3 times already haha

I admire your steadfastness but please remember to remain open-minded and descriminating so you don't end up doing the wrong thing for the wrong reasons.

 

Other than that I agree. There are many who would like to see the fall of the United States. It ain't gonna' happen on my watch.

 

Peace & Love!

I try my best to be open minded, but like everyone I slip.

Not on mine either!

Your post still has vague generalities. Do you read what you write?

 

Have you read any of the books and articles I recommended. Today and last night they were posted.

 

 

ralis

Whats so vague about what I say? We have enemies, therefore we need military. It does not matter who they are or why, the fact is we do.

No I haven't been able to but it still won't change what I say.

Feeling threaten is exactly what the media propaganda is doing since 9/11: since communism is not an enemy anymore, a new one was needed.

The invisible und unlocalized terrorist is the perfect metaphor in order to have an excuse for an endless war. So, instead of resolving a problem, you actually create new enemies: people in the middle east see USA as a conqueror, as it actually is.

 

So please, if you wanna join the army, realize that you're supporting the Terror and the power of USA over the world: your're not going to bring freedom anywhere this way.

 

And if my words are too little, please read people like Noam Chomsky, and you'll know what I mean:

http://www.counterpunch.org/chomskyterror.html

 

and here smth interesting about taoism and war:

http://www.index-china.com/index-english/Taoism%20and%20A%20Few%20Words.html

I wasn't talking about anything the news has said or any of that. I was stating that we are not without enemies no matter who got us enemies we still need the military to protect ourselves and our way of life from our enemies. Anyone who doesn't think that is naive.

Thanks for your astute research. I knew nothing about this program. A green military? What a joke!

 

ralis

Thats why I considered Aerospace engineering. Trying to make the technology better for the earth. But we are far from a Green military.

I think you are being paranoid! The Islamic fundamentalists don't have the means to take over the world. Further, why are you buying into their propaganda?

 

This is the kind of nonsense that inflames this issue.

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/07/28/dove-world-outreach-cente_n_662450.html

 

 

ralis

We should not be focusing so much on this one group. We have many other enemies who threaten us every day. We are at a high risk being who we are.

...if you join make sure the written terms are very clear and as to what type of training you'll get after BT.

I don't know about such options (or contracts) these days but many years ago soon after I joined they tried to switch me to a different field using pep talks and lots of pressure while I was in BT, I said no to the officer who was trying very hard to talk me into it, which is not so easy when you are green and they say the switch will be great in various ways.

 

Going in as an officer may be a better bet...?

I was actually thinking about this. Because the Air Guard is so full jobs are limited but the recruiter said that usually if you choose a job which requires a high ASVAB score than its pretty much guaranteed you can have that job. I will definetly be making sure of that though

The U.S. has a nuclear deterrent and therefor no one is going to attack this country. Besides most countries don't even have a navy. I guess they can swim.

 

 

ralis

That is part of the military so if there is no military there is no Nuclear. Big countries do have navy and there is a such thing as planes

If anyone has any other excercise advice let me know!

You are just parroting the propaganda from the previous administration. Your arguments are emotional and have no basis in fact.

 

 

ralis

So you don't believe that if we get rid of our military other countries would take us over?

As a recent University graduate who majored in history, with an emphasis on World War II and military history, I'd like to clarify a point.

The United States has always had a standing army. Prior to World War II it was usually a very small one complsed of a cadre of professional soldiers. During times of war the militia was called up to greatly augment the regular army, and then after the war was over the militia went back to the farms.

Then came WWII, and the United States got caught with its pants down. Our standing military was so small that it took a couple years before it was large enough to really go on the offensive (that is why WWII started for America in 1941, but we did not land in Normandy until 1944).

Then after the war was over Truman and Stalin couldn't play nice with eachother so the Cold War began keeping the military at a realtively large state for such a long time that now it has become part of the establishment and the idea of not having a large standing military is just too much of a paridim shift for most people to accept (I think Rush Limbaugh would have a stroke at such a suggestion.... hell lets suggest it then ha ha) so yea there ya go.

Thank you for putting that in better words than I could have.

The Muslims are a threat to our way of life? I suppose you believe the Iraq and Afghanistan wars are completely justified? Now that you are joining the military, rational thinking is gone.

 

Exactly how are Muslims going to take over the world?

 

 

ralis

I think the point was that there are threats out there and that no one is completly innocent