Sarnyn

I understand, but why? Why are you still "practically" a virgin, and why don't you have any friends?

Why are you involuntarily celibate, and isolated? What causes you to be stuck in this condition?

lol, thanks for that link it was a very enjoyable read, though I have never experienced anything like that on any retreats I have been too, sadly. I will say that it goes both ways. The sexual urge is a powerful one, and I can't tell you how many times I have imagined what any number of nuns would look like with hair, and appreciated them in a sexual way, even if it has always been restricted to the domain of my imagination. I always felt some amount of shame thinking about the nuns in this way, as though I was defiling some sacred religious symbol. Part of me enjoys the fantasy of perverting something that is supposed to be so austere. But the mind is like that, it will round its way back to the sexual, I don't think there is any avoiding this. Its why concentration is so important to this path. I agree with Gold is heavy. Sexual repression is very dangerous. If you take a healthy plant and put it in a closet, it will grow crooked in the dark looking for any way to sate its need. SO the response is to deal with our impulses with a calm equanimity mind, without judging. Very little changes about a person when you shave their head and put some robes on them. It is a ritual that is meant to help us affirm a great determination. And that is pretty much it. It is very easy to shave a head, much more difficult to make the kind of personal transformation into this strange, almost inhuman asexual being that most of us have floating around in our heads, that we like to supper impose upon our religious role models. Remember that the difference between a lay person and a monastic is simply that the monastic has made a commitment to walking a path. A lay person can have just as much commitment, but doesn't have the benefit of the ritual to give them an added stick for their determination to lean against. The real mystery is not that these sexual encounters happen. The real mystery is that we as human animals manage to spend any time at all, that we are able to allocate any time at all to our spiritual purification. That is the real marvel, and is a testament to those who dedicate their lives to this end! with metta!

naked into light first winds of winter beckon, every hair stands up!

AHO CowTao, great post

putting out the fire with water won't erase what is already burnt my friend. It will only stop more burning. But what has happened has already happened and has already left its marks on us.

when you throw a stone in the water, is there any way to stop the ripples? If you stuck your hand in the water to obstruct a ripple, look what you did! More ripples! Those ripples are just going to have to calm down on their own, and the bed of the lake will be forever changed. Sadly there is no going back. So forgive yourself, do better, and move on.

Hmmm.... I just wanted to briefly say that there are teachings in Tibetan Buddhism, specifically about the rainbow body, which is very similar to the concept of the Taoist diamond body. When I say the same, what I mean is, functions the same in a cosmological sense, but might have subtle distinctions in what we see as the ultimate deep reality of either. In other words, the rainbow body is said to be composed of the "five pure lights" and the diamond body is said to be similar in substance to light as well. Both are described at times as existing in as an enduring... timeless quality. What is interesting about Tibetan Buddhism is that we could probably say (if we wanted to make a broad generalization) that it is among the schools of Buddhism that have had the least influence from Taoism, and yet, the we find similar teachings in tibetan buddhism to the Taoist "diamond body." I of course would not be the one to say that the practices are interchangeable... so that's not my ultimate point here. What is my point then? I'm not sure. Sorry if that last post was a bit of a thread derail, it's not exactly on topic.

drink beer watch TV sparkle in the cup and cube, dreaming but awake

The existence of the ego is not an inherent weakness. It it only a weakness if you acknowledge that the existence of suffering is a real problem. If you accept the existence of suffering in the world, there is no reason to battle the ego. Indeed, the ego can be utilized as a tool. Since nothing has any inherent value, we ascribe value to things according to our perception. When our perception is violated, it is not necessarily wrong to get angry or attempt to fight what jives with our aesthetic values of what we find to be pleasing to behold in the world in the manor of acts or states of being, objects, or relationships in the world. If I am honest with myself and you all, I will admit that I am a violent person. I am prone to short burst of powerful emotion. However, that is part of my nature. Rather than eradicate that aspect of myself, I choose to learn to control my violence in such a way that my violence functions in accordance with my will and desire. Would you tell a wild animal not to act violently when its hunting ground, or domain is violated? Of course not because that act, the act of inaction, could be disastrous to the animal. But since we as human beings live in a higher realm of awareness and mentation, should we not learn to utilize our anger to even greater effect, to even higher manifestations of honestly and pure acts of identity? If I am offended, its because somebody has gone against my aesthetic view of what is right (i.e. pleasing) or beautiful in the world. As a man living in the world it is my right to shape the world into the vision that I find most pleasing, just as it is the right of every living creature to exert their will in the world. Of course there will be conflict, but conflict is not to be avoided, but embraced as part of the natural manifestation of the presence and power of will and intelligence in the world. Harmony isn't always perfect balance, sometimes it is the endless interplay of opposite and opposing forces. When I see a starving child, I am offended. When I see an innocent man prosecuted, I am offended. When I see a helpless person made the victim of violence, intolerance, or hatred, I am offended. When I see a person who is sick but can not afford insurance or medical care, I am offended. When I see a person denigrated or made low by a powerful majority, I am offended. When I see a helpless ignorant majority, usurped and controlled by a selfish and elite minority, I am offended. When I see an animal abused or mistreated, I am offended. When I see a child abused or mistreated, i am offended. When I see a person litter or throw trash on the street I am offended. It offends me to see people destroy their beautiful bodies and minds. Intolerance offends me Apathy offends me Laziness and Sloth, offends me. Oh my, look at my ego, out of control.

Joyous energies round about the grey'd grackle and then one last "Kaw!"

this thread made my day. I wish I had something useful to contribute tho

Where beavers call home the lodge which houses water damned to ceaselessly churn.

I really like this idea. It just makes me nervous, because every time I make a log I can feel my mind saying, "Look everybody, how good am I‽" but in anyway

The non-essentials, so essential to rivers, smoothed stones, leaves, sticks, mud.

I've always felt that the phrase, "There is no permanent, solid, unchanging, independent self" was another way of expressing that, 'there is an impermanent, un-solid, changing, dependent self" This is an interesting thread, and great points forest. The concept of nihilism should not be confused with the concept of anatma, because nihilism isn't the same as solipsism, which says that only the self exists (and no other selves or things) or even the concept of philosophical skepticism which holds that nothing exists. Nihilism is a statement about value, not a statement about the deep nature of being. Nihilism states that nothing has any inherent value, not that nothing inherently exists. In this way nihilism becomes much more meaningful and valuable, as a stepping stone to what I see as the truth, that we have the ability, and indeed the only way things get value, is our assigning value to them.

nice

That tranquility screaming like a blown brass horn, how it's deafening!

North wind huffs and puffs harder than the southern kind, so calm next to mind.

Will pretend I care, when the scalp retires the hair, I'm a child again.

leave this world behind, walking out of the self's skins, ah shit, still here, damn.

Association fallacy

asking a person to verify objective reality through the use of the senses, is like asking a person to see without eyes, hear without ears, taste without a tongue, smell without a nose, or feel without skin. We cannot verify objective reality by way of the subjective senses. Its like hearing the color blue, seeing the sensation of softness, smelling a sound, or tasting a beautiful scene. The problem arrives in false comparisons. However the limitation of the senses should not be an argument, for dismissing the reality of the objective world. No we can't experience or verify the obejctive reality, but that is merely because our sensation is limited to the subjective world.

when the rains arrive, mirrors make inverted worlds, each reflecting each.