Sahaj Nath
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Posts posted by Sahaj Nath
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Hey gang,
Just wanted to get some feedback regarding some potent grounding Tai Chi, techniques or systems. Looking to do a couple of hours/day of tai chi practice. IS this too much? Could this in any way be dangerous?
After years of intense work in the higher centers, the kundalini awoke and rose. The intensity and disorientation at times was almost unbearable. After a couple weeks of intense grounding, it seems that it has cooled off a bit.
Spiritual practice is very much a part of my life, been practicing for many hours that past few years. Would still like to continue in some manner, however am looking for something that would ground the energy and bring Shiva down.
Even regular zen shikantaza is out of the question as the mind starts getting absorbed and leaves me totally disorientated. Thinking something with movement might be better for me now.
Looking forward to all your feedback.
Namaste,
j
sorry i'm a bit late to the discussion.
so... are you really super-interested in tai chi chuan, or are you actually just looking for really good practices that ground the K? sounds to me like your topic is a little too limited by focusing only on tai chi if what you're actually seeking are methods of K management. i would have read the thread earlier had it been titled with some reference to Kundalini.
there are a lot of practices that are a lot easier than tai chi chuan AND a lot more effective at managing the K, but i'm a big fan of tai chi chuan as well. so it really depends on what you're really looking for. you're gonna have to answer that.
Sometimes, a little beef is the only thing that can help...at least in my experience.
YES. this is true. this isn't necessarily true for most people, but i find that it's only because most people aren't dealing with the same levels of intensity.
as a matter of caution, i won't work with a student who is not willing to entertain the possibility that they might need to eat meat in order to manage their process. i do my best to keep it smooth and gradual, and i even take the sharp, punctuated stuff into myself to smooth them out (like a lot of teachers do for their students), but sometimes a breakthrough can be so dramatic that you really need a dense protein to get you through the day. if you have a job and other obligations it can really be essential, ESPECIALLY if you don't have the guidance of a teacher. OR you need enough free time and support in your life to make it through to the other side of a psychotic episode. trust me, it can get REAL.
I've experienced being ungrounded - freaking out ungrounded -
fixed my diet - without eating meat - have been grounded for many years now.
And yes I've had my kundalini awakened.
indeed. but keep in mind, my friend: you were fortunate enough to receive the Grace of a Guru. Shaktipat transmission has a MUCH better track record for easy management and steady progression than any other means that i know of. if wakeupneo wasn't initiated by a competent teacher or a master backed by a lineage, he could be dealing with levels of crazy that you never had to endure.
wakeupneo,
more important than techniques and practice regimens, you should probably find yourself a teacher. if you want, you can send me a PM and we can talk about things you can do on your own. for some people, it's doable to go solo, but not for most people. i can help you with tools and information, but a good teacher can ground you just by being in their presence.
it's tricky on your own, but there's really no down side to having a teacher.
The cultivation of loving-kindness (mettā bhāvanā) is a popular form of meditation in Buddhism. In the Theravadin Buddhist tradition, this practice begins with the meditator cultivating loving-kindness towards themselves,[7] then their loved ones, friends, teachers, strangers, enemies, and finally towards all sentient beings.
this is a very lovely practice, but it doesn't really do anything when the Big K is raging. it's a great practice to cultivate when you're NOT in emergency, however.
In the Tibetan Buddhist tradition, this practice is associated with tonglen (cf.), whereby one breathes out ("sends") happiness and breathes in ("receives") suffering.[8]
Tonglen can actually be dangerous when the K is really active. i wouldn't go near it in wakeupneo's case. not without a really skilled teacher, although i doubt a really skilled teacher would recommend that practice, given the situation.
a wild Kundalini state is not a time to pick up a practice where you breathe in the suffering of others, no matter how well-intentioned.
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...there should be something similar in Qigong practice. Tai Chi is a moving form of Qigong, as I understand.
Tai Chi Chuan is often taught as a form of qigong, but that doesn't make qigong a form of Tai Chi Chuan. qigong is a MUCH broader term and encompasses everything from the highly ordered and regimented forms, such as tai chi chuan or wild goose, to crazier spontaneous practices, and everything in between.
also, there are actually 6 channels in the fingers. the pinky houses both the heart and the small intestine channel. just a heads up.
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how is your breathing?
the most important thing i've ever done for my immune system was master the complete breath of yoga. more than diet, exercise, or anything else, breathing is the foundation upon which everything else we do is dependent.
Science of Breath by Yogi Ramacharaka is available for free online.
http://www.shout.net/~jmh/clinic/science_of_breath/
i believe the author was some western practitioner using a pen name, but it doesn't matter. the book is really accurate for explaining the physiological AND the esoteric theories of the breath. it was written back before 1905, so you've gotta take some of his cultural context with a grain of salt.
but after learning the complete breath at a young age, i became immune to almost every illness that came around. today, on average, i get sick once every 3 years or so, and it's usually a fever with a little bit of phlegm. nothing more. i regularly treat sick & contagious people, so for me the book has been priceless.there are a lot of breathing techniques out there. this is the one i swear by, more than any other. this, and body breathing, which is also in the book. it only took a month or two for it to become automatic.
it's a really short book with really accurate information and clear instructions, PLUS it's free. kinda hard to beat that.
i don't know what kind of qigong you're doing, so i can't really comment on that. but i will agree with Ya Mu and say make sure you're not overdoing it with the kung fu or any other strenuous exercise you might be doing.
give it a try. nothing to lose except a little reading time.
hope this is helpful.
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And Hundun... tis strange, but for a supposedly high-level healer (as you claimed) how come you still stoop to the level of mocking others... i think its quite distasteful, not to mention, it shows a lack of respect for your own trumpeted status. I for one distrusts your claim simply based on this revelation. However, i do understand and accept the idiosyncratic and sometimes boisterous nature of some crazy yogins, but this in no way imply that i think you may be one (and i'm not being condescending here) - even if you are, that's not an excuse for poking fun at other's lack of whatevs.
I think you owe the OP an apology.
i try to explain that i get where you and others are coming from. i do. and it's okay if you don't get me.
i AM distasteful. i AM disrespectful. i am EXTREMELY irreverent towards most things. i transgress traditional laws, and i break taboos. i say inappropriate things at social gatherings when everyone else would prefer to pretend. i do all of that. i'm no saint. my studies and my own path have shown me that most of the saints weren't even saints. i must have stated that at least 10 different times over the years. whether you believe it or not, healing power comes in exactly THIS package, no matter how ugly or incomprehensible that might be to you. i have no use for posturing with a false personality in order to make you believe ANYTHING. i don't feign piety. i don't even believe in it, not in a conventional sense, anyway.
when i give everything that i have, it's real. when i surrender with a fierceness that annihilates my localized sense of self, it's real. and my day-to-day participation in social norms has nothing at all to do with it. i'm sure if i played by those rules i could do an amazing job of convincing others that i'm something more like what they've read and fantasized about. something other than what i am. i'm sure i could get lots of followers or friends that way.
you may not like it, but i know that you get it. in my world, it's not about social behaviors making one worthy. there IS NO worthy. there is Karma, there is Will, and there is Grace. you don't earn Grace. you don't collect merit badges by acting out a character. that's kind of what makes the whole thing a mystery, you know?
Bagawan Nityananda occasionally referred to white guys as sister fuckers. some days he threw cocoanuts at them. it wasn't some "crazy wisdom" blessing that they were luckily recieving, although most of the idiots probably interpreted it that way. he was a racist, straight up. but he was also a walking miracle and a God-send to those he touched.
this is MY life. MY path. no one else walks it. no one else determines its value OR its virtue. when my Elders guide me to a different way of being in the world, i will submit.
that's really all i care to say about it. take from that what you will. or not.
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Seth Ananda
Dude if you don't want to read. Don't come here. Obvious you are not a person of trust. You are a disbeliever in the practice, in your self and in others.
You just create disbelieve and recklessness. You created more nonsense in one post that i have created in all my 30 poorly English posts.
If you are suppose to believe me, no you are suppose to believe in Jesus Christ.
"I am the sun of God he gave me power to give all flesh eternal life" - Jesus Christ
Or do you believe your are above Christ?
You are from the devil. A person that entitle him self as the Seth. God of the Abyss and destruction eater of human flesh. The eternal whore. That is from the Devil in poor plain sight.
Don't come here your presence is annoying and disturbing. You aura is dark. You are probably in some deep dark stuff that i advice any person of good to be far away.
And that kundalini that you do i also practice that, that is pure devil. Mixing of female and male energy that will make you like this guy in the foto which is Satan a person who do not know who if he is a female or a male. Transcendental energy is not like that at all, it doesn't create confusion in only gives bliss it dosen't change you in to an homosexual, like many satanists are. Because they mixed those energy they don't know you they really are.
Dude let me give you a personal advice leave that stuff. Jesus loves you in any way you are, you don't need that stuff just to be some one.
best. post. EVER!!!!
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Just as any professional field of study, it is costly to get a real education.
There are no books that I can recommend. However, if you are really interested in learning there are a couple of programs I can recommend. Books will never get a person to the same point that real education will. Want to be a brain surgeon? Which book is recommended so one can learn it and actually utilize it? Medical Qigong in its own way IS as complicated and in many ways MORE complicated.
in some cases, i agree.
but as a person with friends who have cancer, i don't think Jetsun needs med school. i think he needs a good doctor.
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Thanks this is really interesting to me. Do you or anyone else know of any good resources or books I can find out more information about medical qigong and the different styles and approaches? as a number of people I know have recently developed cancer so my interest in this area has been rekindled. On looking through some of the Wild Goose Qigong websites they suggest this book is the main text to study: "Chinese medical Qigong therapy: A comprehensive clinical guide" - Jerry Alan Johnson http://www.amazon.com/Chinese-medical-Qigong-therapy-comprehensive/dp/1885246080/ref=pd_sxp_f_pt , which seems to be pretty in depth being over 1000 pages long, the problem being it is about $400
which is a bit steep in price for me.Cancer is sort of my "pet disease" in healing work. if you have friends who are open to practices like qigong, i would make 2 recommendations off the top of my head: Guigen Qigong and Shaolin Wahnam's "flowing breeze, swaying willow" practice.
Jerry Alan Johnson has some newer volumes that are greatly expanded. i don't have the book in your link, but i do have his 5 newer volumes that are 500-600 pages each. Volume 5 is An Energetic Approach to Oncology. i also have his 6-month cancer seminar on DVD that he offers on his site: http://www.qigongmedicine.com/catalog.php?act=view_prod_info&id_prod=22170&i=&l=&sid=50d17f3d84d0e37143535fa16fb285df
it's a WHOLE LOT of studying. very comprehensive, and in compliance with the medical standards of the Chinese hospitals. there are lots of theory, exercises and protocols.
i study everything i can get my hands on, just about. but for your situation that's not the best direction, IMO. your money would be better spent attending one of Ya Mu's workshops, maybe even taking some of your friends with you.
you need simple and powerful. your friends don't need to be stressing out trying to digest that much material. Jerry Alan Johnson is very, VERY thorough. the volume of information is like taking graduate level courses. so i wouldn't go that route.
Guigen Qigong takes a little bit of practice, but it's easy to learn. Simon Blow of Australia has a great DVD that teaches it at a really good price. he moves SUPER-SLOW, which is a little too slow for the layperson, in my opinion, but otherwise it's a great video. and he performs it in mirror image so you don't have to flip the exercises around in your mind. you can just follow the video.
the Shaolin Wahnam practice is so simple that you can start practicing it from the 2 posts i made in in this thread: http://www.thetaobums.com/index.php?/topic/20719-depression-kills-qigong-saves/
those are two practices worth engaging on your own, relatively simple and effective. but you still could use a power source. a teacher with some juice. they will likely have other methods to teach you, and some of them might be methods that are only safe with the guidance of the teacher, but either way, a good power source makes a difference.
Ya Mu could really get you going with an effective, powerful practice, some healing therapy sessions for your friends, AND some transmission of that juice, and you won't have to become a scholar first. it just makes sense.
not everyone can recover. the Will of Heaven will ultimately have its way. but for those who can recover, this is what i'd suggest.
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1)Per member "Settler": Wild Goose Healers Form
2) Per member "Ya Mu": Stillness-Movement - Hospital based healer's form within the system
3) Per member "Scotty": Kunlun Nei Gung - has some specific healing methods.
4) spring forrest qigong
5) Zhineng {also called Chilel}
6) Inner Nourishing Qigong (Nei Yang Gong): taught at Hebei Medical Qigong School and Hospital
9) International Institute of Medical Qigong: Jerry Alan Johnson popularized this system in the West. It came from Henan University of TCM.
10). Per me: Infinichi (Hua Ching Ni family lineage), http://longevity-center.com/about-infinichi/
11) Ken Cohen's system
12) Roger Jahnke's system
13) Effie Chow's Chow qigong (i LOVE that woman!)
14) Duan Zhi Liang's Wuji Hundun Qigong
15) Yang, Jwing-Ming's tui na & qi nei tsang
16) Robert Peng's system
17) Wong's Shaolin Wahnam
18) Bing Yeyoung's system
19) Shou-Yu Liang's system
...damnit. now i go blank.
i wanted to hit the 20 mark, but... OH!
20) Gary Clyman's system
21) Suzanne Friedman's system (she was a student of Jerry Alan Johnson and is currently a disciple of Bing Yeyoung)
22) Sifu Jenny Lamb's system
23) Sifu Lin Ai Wei. he doesn't post here anymore, but he heals and trains healers
ALL of these are public, mostly mainstream teachers (expect maybe Jenny and Lin) that teach healing techniques and have produced healers.
there are lots more.
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Wild Goose Qigong could be just one more style out there, between hundreds of styles. But it ins't. There are only a few known styles that can train a person to heal others. Among them there is Reiki, which is hilarious how people appropriates other styles and categories and believe they invented it. Reiki as only 80 years old and is master stole the concept from Qigong. None the less we must give credit to Reiki because they are improving the healing part of Qigong. Which is not that well develop by the martial arts which care only on power and self health. Raiki should be appropriated called Reiki Qigong, because is a style of something that already existed. Like "Baguazhang Liu Jingru cheng style", He didn't created something new, Bagua and Cheng already existed before him, he only give its flavor.
there's not one statement here that is accurate. there are a TON of styles that teach healing. reiki wasn't taken from qigong. the latest evidence i've studied points to Japanese Shinto, Pure Land Buddhist, and Indian Hindu/Tantric influences. just got a new book on the symbols and origin a few days ago titled The Big Book of Reiki Symbols. it's over 600 pages long, so i might not get to it for a couple of weeks. but nothing above is accurate. but it's declared as truth.
Wild goose trains you to project Qi width your hands, in order for you to heal others. which is demonstrated by master Jo on Youtube. I also have achieve this width Wild Goose training. The training opens your hand Chankras, like reiki does, when you open them, you can heat stuff or boiled water. When applied to animals puts them to sleep. In Chakras regulates them, which can be unbalanced, if on part of the body is releasing to much sick Qi.Master Jo: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NnLV3YPUTS4
again, totally inaccurate. the Wild Goose training is designed to open up all of your meridians, WITHOUT any intention of projection or gathering necessary. that's what makes it so unique. the mind embraces emptiness, and the movements themselves induce flow and orbit. but some of this could just be language barrier, so whatevs. but "when you open them, you can heat stuff or boil water" is just plain wrong. opening the lao gong points don't give you that ability; deep cultivation of the person's core is necessary for that, and even then, very few (if any) will ever achieve the ability to boil water, no matter how long they train. i believe this to be empirically obvious.
Wild Goose train was secret, it was only released to public in 1980 by Yang Mei-Jung. She almost die buried alive by the Japanese army and she thought, well I'm the only linage holder of this form, if i die all this knowledge goes with me. So she neglected her master who was also her father, and teach the form to open public. She was a renewed healer up to recent times.
this is an area that can give way to a lot of splitting hairs, so i can concede this as being more correct than not.
Giving forms away and not explaining is not that good. Lets say you open your hands chackras and can now project energy like master Jo. How do you regains this energy? Is wasteful energy or most be used with caution? She didn't give any clues on how this stuff works.
She publish the form Wild Goose I in Qimagine in 92, it explain very well on how to perform it, but not at any point she explains. Like having a firearm in stone age. Its great, but you don't know how it relay works, and what cautions you should have.
Qimagazine its now free to donwload: http://www.qimagazine.com/qimagazine00.html
inaccurate, untrue, and irresponsible. Seth highlighted this pattern. the notion of opening the lao gong points (or hand chakras) as the key to high-level power is now being reinforced as a statement of fact. anything built on that assumption is necessarily incorrect.
Grandmaster Yang taught that the exercises themselves would be your teacher. what you're criticizing here is actually the very thing that makes the Wild Goose system so great. you learn through direct experience, and you approach it as an empty vessel and willing student, NOT as a practitioner who's looking to acquire abilities. this makes me wonder if you ever actually studied the system at all.
your meditation practice and openness will provide you with all the insight necessary in terms of use.
Her son, called Chen, performs WG at youtube:
. If you read the instructions. watch him perform and repeat the video hundreds of times, you can master it like i did. Or you can find a master.Its not that hard to reach it, i did in 3 years, after this period i could no longer do Yin training. Because i was losing so much energy in just one run of Wild Goose that i have stop training. Now i just practice physical training like: Bagua, Tai Chi or Xing Yi Quan.
are you kidding me? you mastered wild goose in 3 years? you don't even understand it's most basic principles. plus, you seem to have had some rather negative side-effects from doing it your way.
Wild Goose get you straight to felling Qi. The filling is also associated with manipulation. Once you start filling up to high levels you can send it more easily to any part of the body. You can't manipulate something that you don't fill. Sure, in the books they say, send energy to this place or that, or control your sexual energy. If you focus, I'm sure some energy will be send. But once you start filling, you can send great amounts of Qi, and even observe the phenomena more easily inside the body. You can manipulated it, because you develop that felling which allows you to.
no. Wild Goose gets you straight into feeling your body. sensitivity to qi comes in time, just like with most other forms. in wild goose you manipulate your qi by manipulating your body, but your mind remains in the position of witness, not actor. this is an important distinction that sets Wild Goose apart from so many other styles. in time you will very naturally discover that energy follows thought, and wherever your awareness goes, the qi will increase. but it's a natural discovery arising out of right practice.
Some one asked "I don't understand Qi manipulation", hope that explains it.
Wild Goose form I serves to opens the hand Chankras. Wild Goose form II is to learn how to fell Qi, in a very natural way that no one can understand it unless by practicing.
inaccurate, for what should be obvious reasons by now. WG-1 is not about just opening the hand chakras. level one is primarily about acquiring harmony with breath and movement, physical flexibility and openness, stimulating blood flow, and "listening" to the expressions of energy in your body. the hand chakras are not even given special attention. it stands alone as a complete body nourishing qigong. WG-2 deepens WG-1, plus adds additional focus on awakening the lower and upper dan tiens.
Not sure what Wild Goose III is for. It makes you pad the body, supposedly makes Qi runs better, and do a tiny Bagua. It doesn't focus on any thing like I or II. Way so little of this or that training, Not full Bagua, not full padding, not full any other kind of stuff. The real why is beyond me. Its needed for sure, Wild Goose is such an advanced system, if is there, most be some reason.
WG-3 is Kunlun Bagua. it's not a part of the martial art Bagua Zhang. its main emphasis is recognition and harmonization of our yin and yang aspects. and meridian tapping is common in many systems.
I advice to start your training with Wild Goose. Is such a development, that you can improve all other trainings: Bagua, Tai Chi, Xing yi Quand, meditation, you name it. For me WG is the base that you should have. Not only, is me getting to this conclusion, as before, disciples start with hard external style and then soft internal style. Today they start with soft because it get more results. Following this line of thought, you should pick the softest form available to start. Which in my opinion is WG.
the opinion parts aside, the part in bold is an overly simplistic claim that doesn't even make much sense on it's own. it's just asserted as a statement of fact.
Wild Goose is composed of 9 forms, but no credential teacher teach it to the west. You can only find instruction up to III. Dr Binku Hu, teach it to the West, but i don't call him a qualified instructor. I'm in believe Yang mei-Jung intentionally mislead him. My knowledge goes only to 3º form and i leave the rest up to the forum readers to explain more about Wild Goose training.
again, inaccurate, wrong, and irresponsible. there are 72 forms/levels of the wild goose system. 11 are taught publicly. maybe 12. 9 are just the ones available on video, and those videos are from Dr. Bingkun Hu, who lives in the Bay Area not far from here. Dr Hu is not my master per se, but i like and respect him a great deal. his form is not the best, but its more than good enough, and his understanding of the principles are right-on. he has students with better form than he has, because he's a good teacher. my movement is a bit more fluid than his, even though he's the one who taught me. probably my yang style influence.
the politics about who is worthy to teach the west has nothing to do with Dr. Hu's knowledge or skill, and everything to do with a certain teacher in Europe who basically wants to claim ownership of the entire system. it's a business beef.
so there you have it. a substantial target. promise i won't cry.
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to me, Seth hit the nail on the head. and it's not about being mean or rude or anything like that. i personally think seth's analysis is self-evident, but other people don't necessarily think the way that we do. still, when so much questionable material and conjecture gets asserted as concrete fact, it's gonna get called out. HOW it's called out is what seems to bother mjjbecker the most, and i get that. as a result i hold my tongue more often than not around here.
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i tried to be really clear, but you're just choosing not to get it. you have some beliefs about how people should conduct themselves and what it takes to do so. i don't share those beliefs, but you refuse to acknowledge that we disagree mostly on principle. Scotty and i aren't always on the same side of things, but he gets it. i'm starting to think that most folks around here get it. some are fine with it, and some are not. so i'm just gonna keep doing me. it's not personal, but i'm not apologizing anymore.
i don't ask for your high-five, nor would i appreciate it. YOU'RE the one who's overly concerned about who's being emotionally supportive, not me. the POINT was that you've never expressed any opinion about anything i've written. and in case it's not clear, you could even say something like "where the hell did you get that from?" and i would be fine with it. to me, that would be legit criticism if you thought something i said was bogus. i don't wilt from criticism. i support and defend my position, and that's not a contradiction.
Agreed that Hundun displays an unfortunate lack of kindness, generosity, and maturity (both in posts and pms), not to mention being (quickly) judgmental. Hundun, while you are fond of pointing out your honesty, honesty is not the highest of virtues. Dig deeper.
first, you don't get to question my generosity, because you don't know how much i work and how much i give in my life. the fact that i chose not to work with you simply means that i don't think we're a good fit.
i was straight with you. not insulting or unkind. you thought i was too quick to judge you, and i said that's fair, i could be wrong. but you gave me no reason to reconsider my assessment. so rather than fight with you about your approach to the energy arts, i simply chose to disengage. PLEASE feel free to post our PM exchanges if you think they support you, and then we can see what's what. i don't air PM's because too many people send me sensitive info. but i don't have anything to hide, ESPECIALLY with respect to our limited engagement.
okay, enough about all that. let me just address the OP directly:
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The OP does not seem to have English as a first language, which makes it difficult to follow at times. Hard to be sure exactly what is being said.
I know that no one likes to be publicly slated though-including yourself-so you could have put it more tactfully, and perhaps also addressed the issues you are questioning. It would have been more constructive. People tend not to learn best when they are being mocked.
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I know you have a wealth of experience Hundun-as do you Seth. You've both made some interesting posts and shared interesting information. This thread presents an opportunity to do that, and to offer some useful insight. Especially since the OP has posted with what seems to me to be good intentions.
what i posted was a much nicer criticism than what i had written at first. you want me to show discretion; i say that i did. i'm just not you. i don't work the way that you do. and i'm never going to.
btw, you DO that you've never once left a comment engaging with anything i have EVER written here, right? i mean, with the exception of a few back-and-forths about what a jerk i am, you've never once commented on any of my substantive posts. so when you talk about my wealth of experience and "interesting" posts & information, it just reads like polite condescension to me.
yes, it's clear that English is not the OP's native tongue. and have i ever even once criticized an individual for struggling with the language around here? NEVER. and i wouldn't. i apply a little effort, read closely, and do my best to ascertain the intended meaning, just like everybody else.
i didn't want to re-write virtually everything in the post. i didn't have the time to do it earlier, anyway. so i didn't. my response was "quick & dirty," but it was also true, which is what matters most to me. my intention was to discredit it, which was faster and easier than responding to YOU right now. i don't see anything wrong AT ALL with discrediting what was written above.
you say that i don't like to be slated, but that depends on your meaning. i don't like my character to be attacked based on misjudgments about either who i am or what MY intentions are. pretty much all other criticism is welcome. i enjoy and appreciate topical debate and criticism. i value knowledge and accuracy FAR MORE than sensitivity and politeness. i even enjoyed my disputes with YOU in the past. you made some well-reasoned arguments that i very much appreciated. still, i'm just not wired how you are. and i've said this all before. you've made it clear in the past that you don't like how i communicate. and i'm a lot more quiet around here these days. but i'm still me. so if this is what you've gotta do whenever i say something you don't like, then whatever.
i've never once received so much as a warning from a moderator. ever. and i think that's because i'm not in the habit of attacking people in a personal way, even thought sometimes people feel attacked. i attack people's claims and arguments. the actual people making them are of little relevance to me. i hate to reference Myers-Briggs here, but i'm a quintessential INTP. the essays about that personality type are SCARY-ACCURATE in describing me. it's very different from how you operate, but it's not a defect. i only get warm fuzzies when there's an intellectual meeting of the minds.
now, if i were to go line-by-line through the original post, you would have a problem with that, too. because i wouldn't write it in YOUR voice. i would write it in MINE. and at the time of my comment, i didn't have the time to do it justice anyway. now i do. but i'm not very inclined at this point
in a nutshell, i'm sick of apologizing to you for who i am. i'm really quiet around here because i don't wish to rub people like you the wrong way. but if you insist on watchdogging me anyway (and that's what you do, because you've never once communicated with me otherwise), i must insist on expressing myself more often.
we might be better off putting each other on ignore.
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incredible. almost every single statement in the original post is either grossly inaccurate or completely wrong.
i mean, WOW. somebody had to say it.
you don't seem to have any idea what you are talking about.
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I doubt anything I will do in life is going to take away this specific fear, let alone drastically reduce it. There is nothing like it. There is no preperation, no practice for it. Perhaps it will take several lifetimes to become ready for it. Not that I'll die from letting go, but it feels like it in my heart. It feels too intense. This is blocking me in my path for quite a while now and I'm not going anywhere with it, it seems... Making no progress with it. Everytime I try letting go, I just realize I'm not ready. Feels like death. Many people believe that they don't fear death, but the moment before dieing, the last moment where you are on the verge of letting go of reality, that is the most difficult part. Once you do it, your mind will just experience every possible experience on Earth, every possible emotion, magnified and more extremely intense.
I have this intuitive knowing that I have to suicide in order to overcome the fear of death, or non-existance, its weird and paradoxical, because overcoming this fear will make death seems like nothing. When I can't let go, I feel ashamed and see only suicide as the only possible lesson in which I can learn how to let go. I wont suicide though, I'll practice letting go with mind. After trying to let go, and then experience the failure, I have a vague realization that I am here living to die. That death is the lesson that will aid me in letting go. If I cannot let go in spirit, then I must practice letting go trough my body, by killing itself and trust. There is no returning like a scared little girl when my blood is draining. I am very dedicated to the truth, and do not allow my heart to deviate from it once I do found out the truth. Right not, I'm not even close to the truth.
Feels like I might not return to reality once I discover that it is all fake and I'll be lost forever in the meaninglessness, desperately trying to form some sort of resemblance of reality around me. I try to control it, but loose control and become scared. I can feel my heart in my throat everytime I try letting go of physical reality.
The moment right before you are about to let go of reality, that is where you hit rock bottom, it is so scary. It is like you are on a cliff of 3 kilometers high and barely balancing on one leg. Once you decide you will just hide under your ilusionary blanket that is reality, you feel like skinning yourself in order to distract your mind from the truth that the blanket is fake. Nothing is scary anymore but that alone. Call it God, I call it my biggest nightmare. If thats God, then I have learned today to truely be God-fearing. The fear of pain just dissapears and adrenaline pumps troughout all of your body. Even if your glimps of it was so tiny, it is extremely intense. I know that people are able to do it though. So there must be some thing I can learn from this. There must be a way to overcome this.
Have you gone trough similar difficulties? Ever managed to let go of reality? I don't mean a dream where you become lucid. I mean becoming lucid to actual reality. It feels so scary, just one second of having gone near the edge and my heart starts beating stronger for minutes, without even looking down the edge of the cliff.
How can I take letting go slow? It seems that I have to change my mindset from taking it slow, step by step towards just doing it in a rush. Just focus my mind on letting everything go so that the heart calms down and the mind stays clear of thought. If I try to control my spirit, the opposite happens. I loose control and become scared. I should be completely open and vulnerable? No idea what to do next. Not even sure if any philosophy or idea will be of any use here.
i hear everything you're saying here, but i don't think you read my responses very closely. you're asking questions that i answered in the link. have i gone through similar difficulties? YES, AND THEN SOME! go back and read that page. Creation was talking about a dream, but i was talking about real life events and real spiritual practice.
so yeah, first, go back and re-read that page. i'll make it even easier this time.
Creation's post, which includes a quote of my original comment:
THEN read my response, which basically answers everything you've stated here:
FIRST,
something that people don't say enough around here: maybe these types of practices aren't for you. maybe it's time to move on. it's not for everybody.
SECOND,
it's not about eliminating the fear; it's about accepting it. as i said in the link above, what i mean by saying i'm fearless is that i'm not afraid to feel afraid.
and
THIRD,
if you don't have a teacher to help guide you through your practices, you could get yourself into a lot of psychological trouble. so again, you might want to think about moving on.
i don't know what you practice, and it would help if you'd share with us what exactly you do. but there is no virtue in continuing with practices that lead somewhere that you already know you're not ready to handle. that's how psychosis happens. know your limits.
and figure out what's important to you in life, because even if you succeed at overcoming this barrier of yours, it may come at a price.
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Everytime I try to let go, my heart beats really fast. I wish to explore my spirituality while keeping my body and this reality as a hideout whenever I can't handle the fear in there. Yet, I cannot even initiate into this spirituality. Everytime I try to enter the spiritual realm, I become afraid. I know there is nothing to be afraid of, but I don't know how to stop fearing it!
I am afraid of finding out the truth. It feels like death or the end of existance even. Afraid of finding out that I have never existed, or that life is meaningless. I can't handle it in my heart. I don't know how to stop being afraid of this. I thought I already know these truths, but my heart is stil very very scared and is not able to accept it or even consider it.
I feel ashamed that I fear it so much. This reality feels like a cradle to me now.
the broadest and vaguest term you could have used is "spirituality." that leaves us with no real understanding of what you are actually doing or talking about. we have to guess and make approximations.
my best guess is that you're exploring meditations that have given you a taste of emptiness.
no need to repeat everything here, so i'll just offer a link:
first read Creation's post and my quote within it. then read my response a few posts down. it's not a whole lot of reading, but i was addressing the very feelings you're expressing here.
if you're doing some real traveling down the rabbit hole, it's to be expected.
hope it helps. feel free to ask questions.
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I know Sick Sense, used to talk to him a lot back in the day. I also like Canibus, Immortal Technique, Aesop Rock, Eyedea. You have Facebook so that we can chat? Thanks everyone!
bingo!
if these are your influences, why do you insist on calling it poetry or spoken word? it's okay to call it what it is: RAP. and it's pretty good rap, at that.
but real spoken word is different, and it's judged differently. rappers are SUPPOSED to be innovative and variant with how they play with rhyme schemes, for instance. but that same skill is not going to impress appreciators or poetry like it does rap enthusiasts.
i'm a big fan of BOTH. i started rappin' back in '88 when i was 13. i was IN LOVE with rhyme schemes and played with every cadence that moved me. then after a few years i developed my own unique 'voice' of expression, but i never stopped evolving.
BOTH are very healing. very cathartic. for instance, as a teenager who was gang-affiliated, rap allowed me to discharge aggression which ultimately diminished my tendency towards actual violence in the street. at one point even my homeboys wanted to keep me from getting into too much trouble because they thought that i could make it in music, and they wanted me to tell their stories one day. that's why the 90's saw the creation of albums like Crips & Bloods: Bangin' on Wax. that album went a long way toward de-escalating the violence in those neighborhoods at that time. of course, it ALSO had the side-effect of influencing youngsters from BETTER areas to WANT to be crips & bloods because they thought it seemed cool, but that's much broader cultural issue that i DON'T think is the fault of the rappers who needed the outlet. but whatevs. moving on...
here's a piece of spoken word i did a couple of years back. notice how it CANNOT be mistaken for rap lyrics:
http://bohemiankitsch.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/a-sketch.mp3
and here's another piece, without the drumming, a little more contemplative:
http://bohemiankitsch.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/bathing-in-the-essence21.mp3
these are old and i know my voice sounds really young, but it's the voice that i've got, so...
neither piece rhymes in a conventional way, but BOTH are lyrically musical.
hope you enjoy.
PM me if you ever want to talk poetry. just reading this thread has given me some inspiration.
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why was this division made? WHEN was this division made? i was confused as hell about topics disappearing or not showing up.
so what's the deal?
Taoist discussion only has 6 pages, but it's not accessible from the General Discussion page. i usually only access TTB through my bookmark, so i never even knew the Taoist Discussion page even existed!
whoever made this decision, i think it was a terrible one. but since it happened, can we at least get a link to it in the Subforums section?
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Nice. Thanks for the Howard Lee tip!
Love this!
"I used to say to my students that you may once or twice in your lifetime get into an altercation in which you may have to use something to defend yourself, but day to day on an ongoing basis, it is about defending against your own self, self-abuse and neglect, and self-destructive tendencies, emotional or physical. Ultimately, it is about self-discipline."
http://www.thelightoflife.com/eng/interviews_eng/dimitri.php
Thanx for that qoute and website. Mr. Lee's teacher training system sounds interesting.
Perhaps if my favorite teacher, Michael Lomax, were to get a shave and a good copywriter, he'd be as well received - and as financially successful - as Mr. Lee.
um.... yeah....
i can IN NO WAY vouch for the new agey direction he went with his "Light of Life" system. it looks a little terrible if you ask me. he may as well have gone with Casteneda's idea of calling his teaching "qigong sorcery" or something equally ridiculous.
pretty sure i've shared this story in the past, but i don't think i ever came out and said who it was.
Howard Lee was the first qigong master i ever met, back in 1997. at the time, Light of Life was really more of a marketing ploy than anything else. he was doing presentations at all the serious internal martial arts schools in my area and offering to hold seminars on a cultivation form, which included energy transmission (probably not very different from the way Michael Lomax's workshops are set up). at the time i was still a student of my reiki master, and i had recently become a reiki master myself. Master Lee wasn't at all impressed and had no problem sharing the fact that he believed his system to be far superior. at the time i was actually offended that he didn't acknowledge my greatness for being a reiki master.
at the start of the workshop he began gathering energy and concentrating it within and around him. there were about 50 of us in the workshop and he was on platform stage, powering up, so to speak. meanwhile, i used a western technique of drawing a symbol above his head that acted as a vacuum, siphoning off as much energy as i could. and when he finally released that energy into the group, i took that wave in (and it literally felt like a slow tidal wave made out of magnetism), as well as dissolving that symbol into myself. ooh, how clever was i.
for the next week, i paid for it. i took in WAY more energy than my body could handle. my spinal cord was freezing cold, blowing out air, and a tiny thread in the center of my spinal cord felt white-hot. many of you know what it's like for your outer spine to feel tingly, right? well, imagine if each little tingle sensation felt like a needle or a knife instead. this is what it felt like for nearly a week. i couldn't get out of bed. i actually had to crawl to the bathroom. and i could barely even hold down liquids.
the reiki energy wasn't even in the same ball park as what that man transmitted. scared the SHIT out of me! literally took me YEARS to fully integrate that transmission. but it was totally worth it.
it's a shame he doesn't teach like he used to. he told me he doesn't do transmissions like that anymore, either. he's got this trademarked, new age thing going, which is both less profound and more lucrative. Plus, he's a bit of an ass. more concerned with his image than his teaching.
i don't really dig the direction he has taken, but i do have a lot of gratitude for my experience with him back in 1997. i swallowed that man whole, and he left me bursting at the seams!
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nice thread!
really hard to boil down to only 5. it's kind of a dog fight at the the very top. plus, a couple don't have any kind of public presence like anamatva mentioned.
Top 5 who are still incarnate:
(in no particular order)
Jerry Alan Johnson (exquisite form and body mechanics. second to NONE in this area)
Roger Jahnke (Healing Promise of Qi is the closest thing to the PERFECT qigong book that i have ever found. everything that matters most is right there)
Mark Griffin (as wise as Master Yoda, and as powerful as Master Windu
)Howard Lee (choy le fut master, and the REAL teacher of Carlos Casteneda)
Yang Jwing-Ming/Wong Kiew Kit (i just can't choose between the two. both have been a tremendous influence on my overall development)
i'm leaving out nearly a dozen really great teachers, but these have been the MOST influential, as far as public figures go.
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I have been to Mark's shaktipats, too. Curious as to what about it changed your life?
i have a few posts in that thread. feel free to look through them.
but in a nutshell, i was genuinely initiated into the Siddha Lineage. i am plugged in. knowledge falls out the sky. teachings on topics i know nothing about come to me during meditation. i witness the fabric of my personality deconstructing, thread-by-thread. and i mean even the smallest impressions/expressions are regularly pulled into 3rd person awareness and traced back to the moment/incident of origin. i have frequent access to what i believe to be savikalpa samadhi, although i cannot quite shift in and out of it at will. but i CAN go pretty deep at will, and even better than that, i can transmit the frequency of that state of consciousness to my students, very much like Mark does.
my identity has shifted a great deal over the past year and a half. my trust and openness has been the only thing required. it's had nothing at all to do with any specific practices that i'm doing. it's acquiescence to the elders in the lineage and allowing myself to be a living vessel.
before all of this, i was all about qigong and had VERY LITTLE interest in yoga, tantra, or any of the Indian or Tibetan ways. i thought a lot of it was hokey. i don't buy into anything that i can't experience or witness for myself. i don't need to believe that anything is true. it's no secret around here that i'm HIGHLY critical. even the people who think i can be a jerk at times have to acknowledge that there's an integrity in my jerkiness. the only side i ever take is the side of the truth. in the past i have defended a friend in one post and then criticized them two posts later. all i care about is what's true.
i believe that if we are able break down our wishful thinking and do away with our fairy tales, we can actually engage a VERY REAL spiritual world that is sufficiently profound without any of the contrived fantasies of so many seekers. THAT is where my deepest personal commitment lies. i have explored, practiced, and discarded SO many traditions and practices over the years. i have committed myself to groups and then flagrantly walked out on them the moment the fantasies and bullshit were uncovered.
that's how i roll. i will turn on a group in a second. because life is too short, and i plan to reach completion THIS time around. if that means i must offend large groups, then so be it.
what i'm saying is that Mark is the real deal. he's not for everybody. the lineage is not for everybody. but what he and the lineage has done for me is absolutely impressive. and i'm not the easiest guy to please.
BUT,
mileage may vary. people who have not done the work that i've done or developed the capacities that i have can't expect to be transformed the way that i have been. maybe it can come in time, but for me it began the night before i actually met Mark in-person. that's my story.
i wasn't just touched with some shakti energy; i was literally embraced by the Siddha Lineage. they communicate with me the way that Sifu Jenny Lamb described her elders communicating with her. so many new age people make this kind of claim, and it's so obvious that it's delusion. but when it's real, it's real.
i live in an entirely new world now. and i feel nothing but gratitude for it.
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I found his breathing laboured and wondered if he wasn't in ill-health? Last time i saw him, he didn't seem quite so full of effort. He seemed a bit happier. Maybe it was just the heat there?
What's with India anyway? I don't mean that to sound rude, but can't you get (or give) Darshan in Detroit and Shaktipat in the Sunshine State? Or is "going to India" the only way some folks will ever get into it? Leave-home huh?
???
i've never been to India, and i received shaktipat & darshan just fine. he tries to get to India at least once a year. he has an ashram/retreat center there, and he takes a couple dozen people with him for a couple weeks. most lamas and masters of the Indian practices try to make a yearly pilgrimage. my teacher in the Bay Area is in India this week, in fact. EDIT: qigong masters visiting China and hold annual China retreats is just as common.
and yes, his breathing IS loud here! he was a really big guy back then, so what can you do?
he's actually lost quite a bit of weight since then, but it doesn't even matter if he hadn't, and that's one of reasons i posted that particular video. the juice is there, and he has it. TONS of it. you can feel it. taste it. he made me re-think a lot of my assumptions about his ability based on his appearance. when my last qigong teacher suggested that maybe i go check him out, i looked at a couple of pictures of him and dismissed him entirely. it wasn't until he was recommended here by Trunk that i finally decided to go. it changed my life. my opinions about his health/appearance didn't mean squat.
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welp... all I can say is that the video is creepy
i know, right?
i can tune into him through this video with no real effort, and i can feel the warm waves of bliss energy, and i can feel electricity buzzing through my teeth.
a lot of sensitive folks on the board can probably do the same.
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i'll be adding info to this thread periodically as events come up or new materials become available.
i plan to make it through all of Mark's material by spring and i plan to review all of it. if the review is worth reading, i'll be posting that here as well.
for now,
Hard Light has a blog called ShaktipatMeditation, and they post excerpts of Mark's talks. the talks generally come from the intensives, the retreats, or the thursday evening programs. the excerpts are short, but they're also pretty good!
http://shaktipatmeditation.blogspot.com/
the next day-long shaktipat intensive will be held Saturday, December 10th, in Los Angeles.
i am happy to answer any questions about Mark or Hard Light. you can either ask here in this thread, or you can PM me.
i am happy to represent Mark and the Center here on The Tao Bums.
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Just Got My TaoBums Subscription
in Forum and Tech Support
Posted
this website has truly changed my life. the people i have met, the discussions i've had, the teachers i've found, and the books/videos i've acquired have all been worth a LOT MORE than the lifetime membership fee.
it just really struck me the other night when i saw that zerostao had TTB listed among their top 5 teachers.
i sought out Mark Griffin of Hard Light because of this site. (thanks, Trunk!)
i received transmission from Max because of this site.
i found Sifu Jenny Lamb because of this site.
i made friends with Seth Ananda because of this site!
and lots, LOTS more.
i've met people in-person, i've had intimate discussions with people through email and phone, and i've picked up some amazing insights over the years from SO many different people.
those of us who have been here a while and those of us who know we have benefited significantly from this site should really consider supporting it with a paid subscription.
in my case, it's been long overdue.
TTB, you have my deepest gratitude.