Ascetic

I've recently become aware of this kind of energy, almost like yin. It's very easy to sense around the dead, it's almost like this energy that is so soft and quiet that it only goes down. There are other places where it appears prevalent, in places of nature that are untouched or leylines (which I personally don't believe there are any on this world) , I also feel like this energy can be collected from trees but thats probably one of the most difficult things someone can do. I personally collect this energy from spirits, like the dead or in the astral. It's a terrible corruption though, as one has to hold onto those spirits they make use of permanently, instead of throwing them back into the void. I think it could be some unrefined sort of Qi, or perhaps a new source of energy: similar to what is generated by merely waiting. It just feels like whatever this energy is, it dies if one isn't gentle when grabbing it all the while it also dies when one is too slow for it dissipates easily like mortal qi. Surprisingly holding onto this energy makes it feel like time is distorted, or boredom/loneliness no longer feel painful.

I've just about read it all on this thread. What foolishness! Indra's net is not a pleasant phenomena. Webs and strings are meant for spiders not sentient organisms. It's all fun and games boasting about purity or the natural order. But what was the natural order really? Can your heart really survive the agony of losing Ahalya to Indra's net? I have no fun on this site anymore, I just see pictures of humans acting like boars.

The fabric does exist but its painful. Qi makes you immediately clean, it replaces function. There should never be a sense of lines or connection with Qi. Please, if any of you are going to talk about natural order, just absorb Qi correctly. I could go on and on, but I simply have no interest in berating those without curiousity. There is no value in regurgitating information, even if you tell it someone else. It's absolutely disgusting, especially when dispassion is practiced too. What is the Fabric of 10,000 things? We need to spend our whole lives making a Fabric of One thing. A Fabric of 10,000 things is rather dirty, but it's not our fault. Masters and practitioners, most of them are obsessed with beating themselves with all their discipline and practice. While the other half considers it wrong but does nothing but routinely clean things with their mind or some other particle. What do you think that is the fabric? It holds something, so its so awful when people do painful things. At this point there aren't enough Masters to undo the amount of suffering that humans experience in a moment. Even the Self is already corrupted, we need to clean ourselves just to see it. Back in the day, it was incredible luck enough to merely think of the Self once and that would be enough to be enlightened. People see stories about Spontaneous enlightenment and think it has to do with effort, no it has to do with the Old Ways, how purity used to be. The Sages back then were trying to communicate something, they weren't idle. The Dharma Age was when people could practice through suffering and become purer. They weren't hurting anyone then, but it has ended now. The Old ways of discipline and rigor might seem important but they no longer evolve our bodies. At this point if we do those things, we not only harm ourselves and damage the fabric of 10,000 things, but we also harm others. The fabric of 10,000 things is framed by this pattern, it holds the changes. It is unimaginably diverse, but getting rid of diversity is a necessity to see the Self in these ages. We can't vainly expect purity to cleanse it all lest we tear at the cloth. At some point we have to accept, that if there is a fabric, that the actions of others does do something.

It appears to be the consolidation of my understanding of the Mandate of Heaven. I seem to see Heaven in my own way. Founder sounds too grandiose. But maybe I should see myself that way.

I follow a Faith called "Orders from Heaven", I guess it can go two ways but the gist is kind of that these are Orders from Heaven. Even the things we do. It's almost like the feeling of disconnect from God and Guilt of Impurity goes away. But also leaves me feeling like I have no Free Will at all. These are just Orders from Heaven... Does Free Will exist? If you want, but I find I need recovery from trying too hard sometimes. And that honestly takes shutting down the ability to act for me. The strain that Free will has on living organisms is oddly absurd. Maybe that's just my rambles.

I've been thinking about this a lot, it's odd to me that the body's natural behavior isn't the ideal and that we by acting ideally can somehow benefit ourselves with our own initiative. Now I also have seen the benefits of cultivation, so I'm not a skeptic. It's just odd and sincerely one of the deepest rabbit holes that have come up for me.

Generally a good thing. There are times that it frightens me, but that fear factor is almost like a scary movie. There's a thrill to it. Otherwise, that feeling of invigoration or gained intelligence. The Ego likes to flex and I find when I allow it to, its just rewarding. Progress always has that feeling though or maybe I'm not progressing haha. But still compared to all the boxes and strain of importance, it just feels so much easier to say everything is a Demon and try my best. That may not be a good thing. I would technically say I'm not going down the psychic rabbit hole anymore, more of a purity route.

I've been thinking of this again. I was on a long streak of learning magic and staying away from Daoism. But honestly now that I'm coming back to it it feels like I'm starting over almost. Maybe proper cultivation is really having something that stays with you, and isn't erased by mere mental alteration... Thankfully I've found my way. It perhaps isn't flowery... It's a strange story. I had a dream nearly a week ago, in it I was in Heaven and there was a Execution platform. I witnessed the light of Heaven, in what I call "Orders from Heaven" and imprinted with some kind of odd mark. It almost felt as if I saw the Jade Emperor himself in that light. Then without any control of my own, I began to work as if performing a duty for some odd master. Executing lines of Immortals and Earth Gods on the Execution platforms. The pretty faces were all covered in veils, and the faces of authority were all aged and defeated. Swinging the executioner blade again and again, without will of my own. It's oddly dark, but that bliss of not having any control it stuck with me. It's somewhat frightening to me that when I had no control I had so much release. That... and I could still somewhat see through the veils. I've never seen people so pretty before, even the aged faces had so much brimming life and essence. It really inspired me to take up cultivation seriously. Yet It's also oddly poetic, Heaven needing an executioner to strike down all the Immortals like its own kind of tribulation. To seriously drop everything else, and go into Daoism. Studying DDJ, Practicing Tai Chi, Meditation. I don't ever remember trying so hard, but oddly things feel better now. Maybe it was that dream but its like I suddenly had talent, or maybe it was just an awakening for hard work. I should mention, that I've been having colorful dreams for months now. For some reason when I took drugs out of my life, my quality of sleep spiraled into something I can't understand. Usually the dreams are hard to remember, but that one stuck with me. Or maybe its just some imprinted memory, it's still hard for me to believe after all. Sometimes we conjure memories for ourselves, to help pass time or bring ourselves forward. Regardless, for once I'm fine with accepting that I'm a total beginner. I know to be a realist, but cultivation feels a lot less depressing this time. Internal strength especially seems fascinating, though I'm sure I'm nowhere near that level of buildup.

Funny, I was just thinking about this thread. I've realized that one of the fastest way to progress down the psychic rabbit hole is: defense against demons. Treating everything as a Demon, Demon to Demon, and keep working on defense only. Its an odd release, I've tried sincere psychic practice and that was exhausting to the point of me developing fears of practice lol. I'll let people know how it works out.

I guess people had a lot of time and a lot of stones back then, both literally and figuratively. You wouldn't catch me working on something that takes more than an hour lol