Unota

20 minutes ago, Taomeow said:

 

I think some ballistics expert could determine which neighbor.  I wonder it it was possible to persuade the cops to investigate.

 

 

 

This is the picture a friend from long ago sent me via Classmates site with the New Year's greetings last year.  January 1st, around 4 a.m.,  a fragment of an artillery shell did this to her window, flying across the living-room and getting stuck in the opposite wall just above the sofa.  The whole family were sitting on that sofa half an hour earlier -- New Year's long night celebration -- and mercifully went to bed before it happened.  I know that building.  It used to be our office building (extremely thick-walled and imposing and sturdy, "they don't build like that anymore" kind), but later (after the fall of the Soviet Union) it was sold to some developers and turned into a luxury apartments building.  The view from this window is very familiar -- I used to look out in that direction when it was still an office building.  

 

This used to be a place no one could imagine ever being smack in the middle of a war.  At the time, anyone who would envision the possibility of it happening in some phantasmagoric future would have been referred to a mental institution. 

Woah!! That is crazy.

We did have the sheriffs come and investigate, but they were very dismissive. They did a drive around to see if anyone was outside, but they couldn't find anyone, and told us there was nothing they could do about it outside of that.

But, forget that. I want to hear more

Haha, sorry. I'm still grumpy about it.

They do love their guns...I still have a bullet hole in one of my windows from one of my neighbors. It turns out our home insurance doesn't cover 'living near idiots.' Still don't know who it was, though.

• I went driving for the second time today! I did not die or end up in a ditch. In fact, she said she hasn't had anyone take to the car as quickly as I have. Going well!
• I took my online Driver's Ed class when I got home. I am on unit 3 now!
• You know the drill. 12 squats. Always this, at least.
• Meditated in my favorite spot in the yard.
• practiced guitar.
• I wrote in my journal, and rewrote the oldest entry that still remains important to me. It was an old...'poem,' I wrote, if you can call it that. I don't know. I guess I will share it. Maybe somebody will like it.

"My mind may be foggy and distant
the pertinacity of death somewhere near
nothing cherished lasts more than an instant
not all that you hold close may be dear
despite death, above all, there's persistence,
nothing for long as I live disappears,
so it will never be more consistent
than the memory of you I keep here."

That is all that I had...'planned' for today.

• Woke myself up with some more light exercise. 8 plank twists each side (so 16?) 11 leg raises, arm circles 32 seconds, 9 side leg-raises each side (18) 19 sit-ups, some leg stretches to strengthen the muscles behind the knee, 19 chest press pulses, 12 squats.
• I am not sure what qualifies for a 'personal practice' journal, but...My sense of focus is something that I have trouble with. I have to force myself to stay put and actually focus on even the things that I enjoy or want to do. I would assume that the fact that I make a point to write this down in my schedule counts. So, I watched Breaking Bad! I finished episode 7 of season 5. To stay put long enough to do that, that is an accomplishment for me, hahaha...
• I bought a game years ago, that I genuinely ENJOY, that I have never finished, for the same reasons above. It's a game called 'Core Keeper.' Because I have commitment issues and never finish anything, I am forcing myself to actually sit and enjoy this game. I have recently defeated Azeos the Sky Titan, which only 18.2% of all players have managed to do! Sure...I will put that on my useless trophy shelf.
• I had to go out and get firewood, because the temperatures dropped overnight. And I made some masala chai to warm up when I got back in, and sat and enjoyed that for a while. I don't think I did anything else during this. Just sat there and drank my tea.
• Finished my Unit 2 Driver's Ed course.  Passed the test 100% (Here is a random note from my folder. If driving up or down a steep hill, always try to keep the vehicle going straight up or down, and avoid driving diagonally on the incline. This can cause loss of traction, slipping sideways, and even possible vehicle roll over.)
• Read a pretty boring study on the effect of digital 'micro-interventions' on managing stress and depression. (digital therapy sessions, 'mental wellness' apps, blah blah.)
• I also read a bit about the Monarch butterfly. Their habitat has decreased due to overuse of pesticides, increased deforestation in Mexico, extensive modification of landscapes in the United States and Canada, and the decline of native plants. I am making a note to donate to the WWF later, when I have some money, and to buy some milkweed seeds to add to my garden... Will it help? No. But... I like butterflies? And while it is on my mind, I may as well show it.
• I meditated again. Although it was much easier to relax and clear my head today, as I didn't have to stress about piloting a two-ton death machine... It was windy. I could hear the birds chattering. It was cold. But I was not cold. It was nice. Enjoying being there, that's all. I did that for quite a while.
• I went for another short walk, only 3k steps this time. My knees are starting to get stiff again. I need to sit for a bit.
• I read a bit. This time, it was a book that I like. Braiding Sweetgrass, by Robin Wall Kimmerer. "Plants tell their stories not by what they say, but by what they do."

That's enough for today. I'm tired. I need to go out and practice driving again tomorrow. For now, nap time.

32 minutes ago, Keith108 said:

Raining as I write this... I love sitting when it's raining. I guess you are not supposed to do energy work during weather disturbances. What I am doing isn't intensive in any way, so I think I am good.

 

...Oops. Really? It was quite stormy today here, too, and I was out quite a bit, doing the same old same old. My favorite kind of weather. I kept exclaiming how beautiful it was outside, despite it looking like a horror movie, hahaha.

Okay. Okay. I'm going to be good and treat this like an actual practice journal for a bit. Because I feel like if I don't have some routine peace and quiet in the midst of learning how to drive through the next couple of months, I am going to have an anxiety attack.

• As soon as I got out of bed this morning, I knew that it was going to storm. The air was heavy. It hasn't yet, but I'm sure it will soon. Feels like a whopper!
• I...Also went out driving for a while. I need to log at least 50 hours of practice before I qualify for a license. It went...As well as you might expect.
• I had a little sit-down afterwards, meditating for about half an hour... Haha.
• I did three assignments of my online classes.
• 8 brocades, about? 10x each? I don't usually count. It felt really refreshing. Quite a few joint pops, though...snap crackle pop.
• I went for a short walk. 5,000 steps couldn't hurt, right? That isn't much. First time in a couple of weeks. I needed some fresh air. While I was walking...I noticed a lot of buds and flowers coming up. It's too early. If there is a deep freeze, expect some fruit to be missing from shelves this year. Peaches, in particular, probably.
• cleaned the bathrooms a bit...To be a little less worthless and show my house some love too.
• Read more of 'The Ever King.' Personally, I find these sorts of modern young-adult novels poorly written drivel. (And what's with all of the fairies? Is this Sarah J. Maas' fault?) But...My mom reads these. And I want to have something to connect with her about. So don't tell anyone I said that.
• some light exercise. (Plank: 1 minute 5 seconds, 15 push-ups (I have weak arms. Shh.) 15 side-bridges, on each side. And of course, 11 squats, to help my knees.

That is about all that I am deciding to do in my schedule today, because I am tired. I haven't been getting enough sleep lately, because I was studying pretty hard to pass my permit test. Fortunately, that is done and over with now. Going to be lazy for the rest of the day.

Before I was interrupted by driving practice and giving myself a heart attack, I was thinking about different forms of divination. I am a big fan of random outcomes and spontaneity. I use dice, spirit coins, I like the I Ching, et cetera et cetera. I like using these to dictate my actions sometimes, so long as I have no preference for anything else.

It was last night that I was playing Juice, that it occurred to me to mix the two things together. I was thinking, I have used so many tools to designate what I do for the day for fun. Why not Juice? Surely someone has thought of that before. I couldn't personally find anything after looking, but, I know that the idea can't be unique. So, I would like to know some history maybe, on the use of 'divination' through the use of instruments, if that has been done in the past.

I also would like to know, from the people that know much more than me, if you have any suggestions of how I could apply this. At first I considered through notes, but too many notes repeat too many times throughout the scales on the strings, and would influence the outcome.

So, instead, I thought it would be better to go by numbers. Twelve frets, six strings. The amount of frets may very depending on the guitar, but there are always at least twelve. Twelve frets on a six-stringed guitar. That is, what...if you include open-strumming...I think 78 outcomes?

This is also coincidentally the number of cards in the tarot, however, tarot can also be influenced by the facing of the cards, so...I'm not sure that you could transfer an equivalent into guitar strings, if that is what you want to do.

I also considered the fact that if you are a skilled player, your hands tend to drift towards certain notes that you are known to like. I am a fan of E minor, C major, B7, my hands tend to linger on these to make a sound that I like. I guess you would just have to clear your head to avoid doing that.

But, surely, there is other people who like to play guitar that would enjoy doing this...? Is this a dumb idea?

Anyway, what do you think? Silly or no?

Typically, you would feel for the string first, the 6, before moving down the fret board. So, that 6 could hold a predominant theme, while the 12 can be a more decisive answer...or something like that.

I find a lot of value in a discussion that makes me laugh!

I've always been a bit envious of people who like to devote themselves to something silly day-to-day. Frankly, I'm quite bored. Maybe I want to learn to 'cloud-step' like Zoya. Last night, an idea struck me, as I was playing my guitar. There are 49 notes possible to play on a 24 fret guitar with standard tuning. Everyone makes divination systems out of everything from tarot to growing onions. ...Why not guitar? That sounds incredibly unnecessary and time-wasting. Let's do it! Has anyone done this already? ...Surely someone has?

I think since notes repeat along the frets, it might be more reliable to go by the first the number of strings, vs the fret number, instead of the actual note itself. That sounds reasonable, and probability not influenced any certain way by repeating notes.

Careful about the knees, I have learned my lesson that it doesn't take much to hurt them... I've only walked regularly and gave myself tendon damage. I'd imagine if you want to appear as if you are jumping high or lightly, a lot of that propulsion would go through the knees, so don't hurt yourself. Exercise your legs a lot.

This thread makes me so happy. Look at all of you.

PHEW. I've been busy.

I found some things to do for a while, study, reworking my website, and doing mindless tasks if only to occupy myself while my knees get better. They've improved a lot, and I no longer experience pain. They hurt so badly as they healed that I could hardly walk! But I think thanks to, particularly the squats, that a lot of stress has been taken off of them allowing them to heal properly. I have noticed that my left knee still looks somewhat swollen, but my right one looks practically back to normal. The uhh, 'patella,' the kneecap, they would stick out a lot because of swelling and inflammation behind them, so it's noticeable that they're improving.

I've also been studying to get my driver's license. I still don't have it at my age, because I've just never had anybody to teach me, and I couldn't afford the expensive driving courses. They used to have it as a class in highschool, but the class was cut, because the administration thought that it was the 'parent's responsibility' to teach that, not the school. Is that so.

Well, this year I can finally afford classes, and I have a driver instructor that is going to take me out driving. So, I had to get my learner's permit, which I did today!

The lady at the BMV, she thought that I was 15. She was trying to ask me for my driver's education papers. Which, I did not bring with me because...I'm 26. I am turning 27 next month. You only actually need to be enrolled in drivers education to get a permit if you are 15. I am only taking it to gain the skills and knowledge required to get my license later on. But, really. I thought she was joking. Ma'am ! I am almost thirty years old.

-edit-

I almost forgot...

Fire 'ox'. I found a really cool design for a monster stuffed animal that was inspired by a Fei beast...And...I don't know how that lead to drawing this, but there it is. Hopefully I don't run out of marker ink. I guess I just thought 'oh that looks cool...I want to draw one...'

Needless to say, I bought the stuffed animal. I am not a stuffed animal person. But I thought it could keep me company. It was either that, or I was going to buy some desktop brine shrimp.

Nothing has really had any appeal to me lately. Life feels empty. Reading is not interesting, painting isn't interesting, writing isn't interesting. It is too early to garden, although I have started some plants under the grow lights. I can't go out and walk.

Although, my knees are starting to get better! I can feel it. There was this sort of weakness before, like my knees couldn't support my own weight when I stood, and that is going away, and the stiffness and pain is also going away. I will probably be good to go in a week or two.

And while I am not enjoying life, everything also becomes more noticable. It's hard not to let things overwhelm me. Whenever I look at my mom's face, I see every time that she was angry, every time she was horrible to me, every time that she wasn't, how she has changed, how she is getting older, how she is going to die some day. I see every line of my dad's face. I see the plastic in my clothes and the floorboards. Every time I drink a cup of coffee I see heads flattened by rubble or a child nearly decapitated by shrapnel. Families that used to do the same thing as me every day. I wonder how many of them ever heard the words 'I love you' before they died. I wonder if strangers think that I am just an idiot, when I say that to them, when this is what I meant.

Maybe I should try a new hobby. There has got to be something that I want to do. I just need to figure out what it is. Maybe...I can learn how to make kombucha? ...No.. Maybe... I guess I don't have to do anything at all. But...Not counteracting with anything positive, it really bums me out. I wish people would stop being idiots, so that every time I open a new plastic jug of milk, I don't have to think about 'Plasticosis' in seabirds.

Maybe I don't have an inner monologue, but there's still that awareness there, of a million things at once. Happening so quickly, all of the time. It's no wonder why I used to be so stressed.

Hmm, this sounds like a fun read. I'll add it to my book list.

1 hour ago, blue eyed snake said:

how are the knees doing now that you've had some rest?

I'm not going to lie. They!! Hurt like hell!

I feel like the more that I rest the worse that they hurt. I'm trying to stretch often enough so that they don't lock up, but without putting too much excessive weight on them and making it worse. My doctor says that it can take up to a month for patellar tendinitis to heal completely. The pain reminds me of when I once over extended my ankle in high-school and severed the ligaments. It's not even close to as bad, but it's the same 'type' of pain, which I don't handle very well. My heart goes out to anyone who has arthritis in their knees. I have a new appreciation, for what that joint pain might feel like..

On 2/12/2024 at 4:12 PM, liminal_luke said:

I'm another "random guy on the internet" but I'm intrigued by the Knee Ability Zero program of the knees-over-toes guy, Ben Patrick.  ATG | Personal Training Reinvented (atgonlinecoaching.com)  My knees are a little wonky too and at some point I might try some of his stuff.  Turns out Huberman of the Humberman Lab podcast likes one of his favorite exercises, tib raises.  

 

Anyway, just thought I'd mention something that intrigued me in the knee department.  No idea if it would be right for you or not.

Hmm...That's way too expensive for me to toss money at, especially every single month...But If you ever do it, you should share with some other bums if it helped you. Maybe somebody less stingy than me could benefit from it.

On 2/13/2024 at 1:42 PM, blue eyed snake said:

It's nice to give away plants, makes people happy.

marigold, you mean the strong smelling tagetes?or the medicinal calendula?

 

Both seed out like crazy once they've settled in your garden

They're discos! So, Tagetes patula. They have a scent that reminds me of a minty cologne. I also plan on planting a batch in my vegetable garden to deter nematodes. Tagetes are also medicinal, being antifungal and antibacterial. Because of it's antifungal properties, I wonder if maybe it could also be substituted for a rooting hormone?

I don't really have success in rooting cuttings, as previously stated, but one year, I had a pretty bad storm nearly decapitate one of my Zucchini plants. It was in shambles. I was sure it was going to die. It was hanging on to the roots by a strand. But then I found that because of the antibacterial and anti-fungal properties of honey, I applied honey to the decapitated stem, then caked dirt on top to keep bugs off of the honey and to keep it from becoming moist. The stem ended up drying and healing, and the plant continued to grow over it, despite what was essentially a gaping wound severing most of the plant. It lived and continued producing Zucchinis as if nothing had ever happened to it. If marigold is also antibacterial and anti-fungal, I wonder if it could also be substituted for honey.

As for the separation from religion thing:

In my personal view I just think you can just do 'whatever you want forever.' You can detach your practices from the historical beliefs however you want. You can twist it to suit you personally however you want. You can know as little or as much about it as you want. What am I going to do about it? Even the uneducated cultivators are not doing anything to harm me, even if it annoys me a bit that people don't seem to understand that the DDJ can only be truly understood through personal interpretation because it was written in vaguely interpreted ways on purpose. When you read a translation, you are only reading what it means to the person that translated it. Which, is why you have a bunch of translations that seem vastly different from each-other.

I also think that trying to detach religion from a system that is deeply tied into these beliefs historically, shows an aversion to religion in general, which I don't entirely agree with. Religion is tied to the evolution of culture, the foundation of how people thought and why they did things. I think if you completely detach the religious aspect from the philosophical aspect, then you reject it as a whole.

As for the, why there are so few daoist posts, and why I don't typically interact or add my own:

I think it's silly to argue about things unless I just want to put my own personal opinion out there, which I don't really think matters that much, and I'm not usually inclined to do. That might be the case for other people, which is probably, why we don't have a lot of 'forum fodder,' as Keith put it. It just kind of feels like...a waste of time to me. Maybe if that is something that you like to do. I'm sure that there are people that get genuine enjoyment from debate. But I would rather be doing other things.

I do really like legends and learning about them. I like learning about inner spirits. I like learning about historical figures which may or may not have even existed, or the progression of external to inner alchemy throughout history, and what 'external alchemy' looked like in certain time periods. But I don't really feel like starting a whole thread about it.

I also think that a lot of things people posted about on here in the past have been a bunch of 'new age nonsense,' and I think that the concept of achieving some sort of spiritual 'superpowers' or 'immortality' via things like 'staring at the sun' have always been a depiction of self-inflated ego, even throughout history. People took things like mercury pills to live forever. (Question: Why would you do something like that? Why would you even want to?) Despite the fact that I love to read about it, I have no personal interest in applying 'alchemy' to myself and will not talk about it in any related threads. And, like Keith said, a lot of this is all more something you put to practice rather than typically talk about.

And, from observation, I also think that a lot of these daoists on this forum are grumpy old men with too much free time. I am not particularly interested in having any discussions with any of them. I think that a lot of Daoists are very...self-absorbed. And it comes across in the way that they speak. I like the Buddhists more.

This is probably the most 'opinion' that I have put into a post. But I feel obligated since for once, people are actually talking about something that interests me.

What...? Is this the 'can we separate religion and philosophy in Daoism' debate again?

2 minutes ago, blue eyed snake said:

 

nice, I've never done that with seeds. These can be quite easily multiplied by making cuttings, put those in water and plant when roots have a nice size. Very nice plants 

you can even put the cuttings directly in soil when that soil has high humus and you water it regularly.

 

  Hide contents

 

Oooh!!! Beautiful! I've never had very much success with propagating cuttings unfortunately...I have tried before. It's a swing and a miss. No matter how many times I clean out containers, they tend to get root rot. Maybe I set them too deep in the water? If these two get big, I'll try again. It would nice to have a bunch more to give out to people. Something that has surprised me a lot lately, is that no matter who it is, people seem to like getting colorful plants as gifts. Whenever I go out now, I take a plant with me to leave with whoever I am going with. Lately, it's been marigolds. They multiply like crazy. If I get better at rooting cuttings, I'll be unstoppable.

I have never had so much free time. My first taste of extreme boredom in a long time. My brother has taken up my chores for the time being, leaving me with nothing to do.

You want to know something funny? We used to have a big dolly, to help transport the wood, but it broke about a year ago. Nobody ever got around to fixing or replacing it. I didn't mind, because I could haul the wood myself with my bare hands without any issue. But the moment my brother starts hauling firewood, within the same day...Just like magic! It gets fixed. I see how it is. All winter, I have been transporting it by hand, even when it was 40 below zero, and he can't do what I did all winter for even a few minutes. Something everyone has put off for months is over and done with, bam, just like that, because the only person that actually used it, (me,) could not fix it by myself. Nobody ever does anything when I actually ask for their help...Even this, he's getting paid to do. He's getting money for this. We have to pay him to do a common chore, while my knees are hurt, because nobody can be bothered to do anything if you just ask. (sigh.) Well, I don't mind. At least I can use the wood cart again when I am better, and I don't have to carry anything heavy while my knees are already hurting.

Anyway, I don't know what to do with myself. I'm usually doing chores. Now I don't have anything to do. When I sit for too long, my knees get incredibly stiff, which I think is good...? I move around a bit every now and then to stretch so they don't lock up. But I think that means they're healing.

I've been trying to find other hobbies to entertain myself. I don't like watching television, I think it's too non-engaging and boring. I've tried to pass the time meditating, reading books, news, and on occasion researching things that I read on here for fun.

I also, in a conversation that might have been something about people's crazy fantasies, saw that Nungali mentioned 'Dungeons and Dragons' ...I think in reference to people like the guy that watches too many cartoons and wanted to be like 'Goku' hahaha... And 'woosh' went the point over my head, and I thought, 'Dungeons and Dragons...Dungeons and Dragons does sound fun...' and I bought 'Neverwinter Nights' and have been playing that. I know what I am about.

The human condition is universal. You get older, you watch loved ones age, then die. Time passes. You see disasters. You see people do cruel things. You, yourself, grow old, and you will experience what it feels like for your own body to fail you. You will know death. But you will never be alone. Everything that I have felt, you have or will feel. Everything that I will feel, you will or have already felt. And, I think that, being able to discover the beauty of all of this, is one of the most crucial, and wonderful things that you can do.

Anyway. I have a cockatrice to find in Neverwinter Nights. There is a big orc guy, with a big axe. We are friends. He's really good at hitting things while I do nothing and clap. Good job, orc guy. We are going to stop the Wailing Death, you and me.

I have only had...*counting on fingers* Um...Five innocent people die as the consequences of my own actions so far. And only TWO of them were on purpose. Not the worst track record I have had. And I haven't even done something stupid yet, like drink a suspicious vial I found in an abandoned mineshaft, like I did in Baldur's Gate 1. It was acid. (If there's a big obnoxious button that says 'CONSUME,' I am going to hit the button. What do you want from me?)

Goodnight! I love you.

It turns out that I have patellar tendinitis. I am banned from excessive physical activity for a while. Grounded. Under house arrest. Ugh. This is the worst thing to ever happen to me. I am going to die. You can't do this to me. I've only spent two entire days sitting and I'm already going mad. Unota has been put into time-out.

A dandelion in the dead of February. Are you crazy? Isn't it thirty-something degrees out here? Look at it. It doesn't even care.

Hmm, I don't really do anything at all. It's too late to really 'start' or invest in anything, so I often just lie there and...chill? I often have problems falling asleep, so it's not good to get invested in anything in the evenings...I won't want to go to bed.

I have ADHD too! but rather than the 'boredom' problem, I get too deeply lost in things. It's hard for me to prioritize my focus to important things. Hours go by, I do not even notice that I am hungry, that I haven't eaten yet, or...that it is now three in the morning.