Hypnoape

On 9/18/2020 at 1:20 AM, welkin said:

Is there any more i can do to find truth? I feel burdened since birth

I don't think any harm would come from you talking to a qualified therapist in person assuming you have the resources available to you to do so.  You're on a forum with some really far-out people, but I think most of us would agree that there is such a thing as schizophrenia, and even if we do have some relevant professionals present on the forum it's obviously not the sort of thing anyone is likely to be able to help you with in an online format.

14 hours ago, oglights said:

(including heavy duty doses of psychedelic medicines) and have gotten next to nothing out of it.

Could you expand on this somewhat?  Did they not feel efficacious to you at all physically or do you just not feel like you got any lasting benefit after the trips were over?

9 hours ago, steve said:

We need to work with where we’re at not where we think we should be or want to be.

 

My teacher would remind you that when our flames are small, they need protection and are easily extinguished. So we don’t push ourselves too hard. We’re gentle with ourselves. With practice and devotion, the flame grows and we are less disturbed by events. When strong, like a bonfire it is fed by even a strong wind. 

 

So I suggest you keep doing what you’re doing. When the reactivity settles there is the possibility of powerful qualities coming up (like equanimity, like love, generosity...). Notice these, they can be subtle at first. Act on these if you’re so inspired. Trust it.

Thank you so much for your words Steve 🙏  I do struggle with trying to be somewhere other than where I am in spiritual practice.  It's getting better for sure, but I can definitely hold on to expectations about how I ought to be.

1 hour ago, dwai said:

The one who noticed the mental peace and then shattering of the mental peace, was it bothered or affected in any way?

That's a very good point 🙏  I think I've even said something similar to other people before lol.  Easier for me to say than to practice I guess 😅

My spiritual practice lately has been consistent and enjoyable; I'm feeling peaceful, happy, and grateful.  The other day my dog came home from the groomer, and evidently she was very naughty and thrashed during her face trim and ended up getting a bit of an eye poke (and on the weekend so the vet was closed).  Nothing serious, it was back to normal the next day, but at first it was swollen and bloodshot and runny and she was keeping it closed mostly.  Seeing my little one like that, I was instantly thrust into anxiety.  Totally absorbed in my thoughts, imagining worst case scenarios, just allowing my mind to run away with me.  There was no gradual breaking down of my presence, no spiritual defense taking place, just in an instant all the togetherness I felt like I'd "acquired" was shattered (albeit only for a little while).

I'm not sure what exactly I'm asking, if anything.  I'm just thinking about the seeming unreasonableness of staying grounded in peace when confronted with the pain of a loved one that you feel powerless to address.  And I'm not even a parent.  It's bad enough with my dog, but I can't imagine someone getting a call from their daughter or something saying that they're in trouble and need help.  Maybe that level of equanimity is reserved only for a true master lol.  I suppose that's why so many spiritual seekers choose solitude.

I liked the way I once heard John Butler describe it.  You can look at the thoughts in your head as you would the rumbling of your stomach.  The stomach goes through a certain process to digest food, and the mind goes through a certain process to digest information or experiences.  Part of this mental digestion process is the phenomenon of thought.  I have heard people with very deep meditative practices describe that thought will lesson of its own accord as you become more centered in stillness, but nevertheless, the cessation of thought need not be any sort of goal of itself.  What you are fundamentally changing is not your thoughts but your relationship to thoughts.  You cease to identify as being only the thinker.  These of course being only my thoughts about the subject, so take that for what it's worth lol

2 hours ago, steve said:

There are lots of resources of this nature in Yungdrung Bön, the tradition I follow. If you're interested in specifics, I can offer some suggestions.

I've just been checking out their website; I can't believe I hadn't heard of this tradition sooner, it's fascinating.

I've noticed in reading about a variety of paths that many of them stress the importance of a direct interaction with someone who is his or herself enlightened.  Dzogchen seems extremely insistent upon this with the pointing out instruction, and even High Magick has its own version of it.  I know very well that all manner of people have awakened without the aid of anyone at all, so clearly it isn't a necessity, but this thought has become sticky for me.  I have a bit of a hang-up about it, because now I feel like this isn't something I ought to expect to be able to realize without coming into personal contact with a master and acquiring a taste their energy like some sort of spiritual mosquito lol.

I don't know any Zen masters or Lamas or realized yogis or secret chiefs or what have you, and I'm really not sure how I'd find one beyond going on some sort of expensive retreat with a famous guru or something.  On the other hand a part of me has the attitude of "if you think you have to meet a guru to be enlightened, then you do, if you don't think so, then you don't".  What are your all's thoughts on the role direct transmission plays in one's spiritual journey?

Hello Dao Bums!  The site said to make an intro post, so here we are.  I'm an avid powerlifter who was introduced to Eastern philosophy after a foray into entheogens.  I'm really looking forward to reading through the wealth of information here!