kipster

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Posts posted by kipster


  1. After reading Sean's report on intu-flow, I followed the link and read more about it. It sounds great. And I have a question. I tend to get some bursitis - tendonitis type of thing on the tissue that runs over the outside of my hip bone. This generally occurs after a lot of heavy work or when I reach a certain point of flexibility. Due to this, I've stopped, at various times in my life, yoga, tai chi and qi-gong. Bummer. Anyway, I know no one can tell me before hand if the same thing will occur with intu-flow, but I am wondering if anyone has heard of this program resulting in relief from this type of condition. If possible, I'd like to hear some of the experiences people have had. I'm thinking it would be tough if I bought the program and had to stop because of the hip thing. Maybe someone has a used program that they'd like to sell.

     

    I like this forum and am grateful it is here.


  2. Vicki and I thank all of you who have offered help through the discussion. We have read each reply and they will influence our action. Thanks again, to be on the receiving end of such generosity is in itself healing.


  3. My wife, Vicki, read that about half the women between 40 and 60 develop benign cysts in their breasts. She tends to get cysts in hers (she's 50). So far, they've been benign. I am wondering if anyone knows of some things one might do, herbs one might take, etc. to reduce or eliminate the occurence of these cysts. Vicki teaches full time, keeps active with yoga, dance, walking and the like, doesn't smoke or drink, and eats fairly well. Also, she is currently taking the omega 6 and omega 3 containing oils. Can anyone share some useful information with us? Thanks.


  4. If I were *really* honest about the world and the people around me I would have nothing but the absolute, highest praises to sing and I would have a shitload of energy too. I would light up the night.

     

    "One glimpse of the true human being, and we are in love."

    -- Ikkyu


  5. If I were *really* honest about the world and the people around me I would have nothing but the absolute, highest praises to sing and I would have a shitload of energy too. I would light up the night.

     

    I love this answer. I sometimes experience that we are more connected than we are separate. This experience is invariably accompanied by feelings of love and appreciation. It is as if love is the experience of truth flowing through awareness.


  6. Lozen,

     

    My first bit of truth is that I don't exactly know how to navigate this sight (though any 8 year old could), so I am hoping that this reply actually gets posted.

     

    My second bit of truth is that I am glad you are inquiring into the nature of truth. I had a friend who suggested that any time I find myself in turmoil that I ask myself, "what am I defending?" And when I did this, I found that I was invariably defending my personality, that concept that I construe as myself. The more I looked into the truth, the more I viewed it as my friend. I found that it did not give me license to dump "my truth" on others because most often "my truth" was simply something I was projecting onto another. So, for me, a major portal to truth became acceptance: acceptance of myself, my situation and others. Nobody had to be anything other than they were, and this provided me the space to act more kindly and speak in a way that was genuinely more life-supporting. I didn't find myself becoming a door mat or passive in any sense, just more efficient and kind and, in a way, more fearless because I started defending my personality less and less.

     

    There is a great quote from the course in miracles: "If I defend myself, I am attacked." I have found this to be true because the personality seems to be an illusion that I struggle to maintain, and if I see it as vulnerable than I always have to defend it from change (i.e. life) and from anything that I see as a threat to it.

     

    Another take on this whole truth thing is ably presented in Byron Katie's book, Loving What Is. In it, she shows how the proper inquiry to anything, i.e. the application of truth to something results in freedom and kindness. I highly reccoment the book.

     

    Now let's see if my reply gets to you.

     

    Kipster

     

     

     

    So what do you think? Direct honesty or no?

     

    I always thought I was a huge proponent of it and would like to know the truth, but I've been wondering about this lately. Sometimes you don't need to hear the truth, right?

     

    I guess I like it when people speak to me directly because I'm sensitive energetically, so if somebody is even the least bit perturbed with me, I can feel it anyway, so they may as well just tell me what it is anyway so we can discuss it, right?

     

    On the other hand, sometimes some truths are just unnecessary. Like when someone you break up with tells you that s/he always thought your poetry sucked. Stuff like that.

     

    So I guess it's like, to be totally honest, I kinda wanna know the truth, but not all of it, or something. Maybe I want it sugarcoated. Which reminds me of Natalie Goldberg writing about her zen teacher, who would say things like, "I am sorry for you. I do not offer you candy." She'd approach him with a problem and say, "No candy?" and he'd say, "No candy."

     

    Of course, this is also the same roshi that had been lecturing about death for a while, and then the zen center decided to have this big fundraiser open house party thing, and invited all these potential donors, and then the roshi was told to lecture, and he started with, "We are all going to die."

     

    I would say his timing is inappropriate.

     

    I guess I want the truth broken up into small bite-size increments, and maybe the parts that I can't do anything about be left out? Sort of like the difference between being told that you need to lose some weight and being told that someone is physically repulsed by you. I suppose that would be a matter of tact, and it's not entirely what I'm describing. How to explain different layers... Let's see... It's like the difference between someone you're dating saying, "We need to work on our communication style" and the same person saying, "We need to work on our communication style, or I'm gonna dump your ass, and I'm already looking at the girl next door." While the latter two may be perfectly true, there's no point in bringing them up because it's possible that the person WILL work on their communication style. Does that make sense? Or in another example, I had a friend who told her crush that she had a crush on him, and he said, "Well, I'm really not attracted to you at all, but we can still have sex, if you want to go get yourself tested." She of course told him she had way too much a sense of self-preservation for that... and of course they weren't friends anymore, but I think that they would have been had he simply said, "Well, I'm not all about that, but I don't mind friends with benefits." You know? It's just how you WORD things and how MUCH you say. And then she wouldn't have been upset at his implications that she had AIDS or something, which she didn't need to know he thought that unless she'd accepted his (sleazy) proposition. How do we skirt around these issues. Like my friend, who's dating guys she met online, and they'll ask her if she wants to get coffee or a drink or go on a hike. Is she really supposed to say, "Well, since I've never met you before, can we just meet somewhere in public that doesn't involve alcohol or secluded locations?"

     

    And of course at work (hypothetically of course) I'd always tell my boss she should let me know directly if I'm doing something wrong, because I want to know, but what I don't tell her is that I want to know so it won't look like I'm doing that around her, not because I give a shit about our company. :lol: But then if we really took this honesty thing to an extreme, everyone would answer job interview questions quite differently. "I don't really care about your company, and I'm not planning on keeping this job." And the job, "We may downsize next year, and we want someone like you who we can pay less than they're worth until then."

     

    And then there's the whole ethical question. I got in a car accident that was my fault, compensated the victim to his satisfaction (even though he didn't have insurance and I could've gotten away with it), but I don't think he's going to sign the civil compromise papers because he's a flake. I also know he won't show up to court. Is it unethical to plead not guilty when I know I did it?

     

    I guess part of this whole dilemma is that I feel like so many of our problems are based on the fact that all communication is pretty flawed, and that nobody will know exactly what someone else is thinking. I have a friend who gets extremely upset if I misinterpret things he says even slightly. Like, he'll say things like, "You said I MIGHT mean that, which means you think there's a POSSIBILITY I would do it, but there IS no possibility, because I would never mean that. How could you say that?" I remember my response was something like, "Why do you care what I think?" And I told him that in the past he'd implied that I had done several things I knew he was wrong about, but I didn;t care, because I knew I was doing the right thing, and his perception didn't matter. So it's like maybe once your ego gets out of the way, what other people think doesn't matter at all. And yet... it's just hard for us sensitive ones to walk around knowing that people we like or even love and respect think certain things about us that aren't even true, and there's nothing we can do, and one way they can let us know is by telling us the truth, but since we can't change their opinions anyway, maybe it's better not to know at all.

     

    Thoughts?


  7. So what do you think? Direct honesty or no?

     

    I always thought I was a huge proponent of it and would like to know the truth, but I've been wondering about this lately. Sometimes you don't need to hear the truth, right?

     

    I guess I like it when people speak to me directly because I'm sensitive energetically, so if somebody is even the least bit perturbed with me, I can feel it anyway, so they may as well just tell me what it is anyway so we can discuss it, right?

     

    On the other hand, sometimes some truths are just unnecessary. Like when someone you break up with tells you that s/he always thought your poetry sucked. Stuff like that.

     

    So I guess it's like, to be totally honest, I kinda wanna know the truth, but not all of it, or something. Maybe I want it sugarcoated. Which reminds me of Natalie Goldberg writing about her zen teacher, who would say things like, "I am sorry for you. I do not offer you candy." She'd approach him with a problem and say, "No candy?" and he'd say, "No candy."

     

    Of course, this is also the same roshi that had been lecturing about death for a while, and then the zen center decided to have this big fundraiser open house party thing, and invited all these potential donors, and then the roshi was told to lecture, and he started with, "We are all going to die."

     

    I would say his timing is inappropriate.

     

    I guess I want the truth broken up into small bite-size increments, and maybe the parts that I can't do anything about be left out? Sort of like the difference between being told that you need to lose some weight and being told that someone is physically repulsed by you. I suppose that would be a matter of tact, and it's not entirely what I'm describing. How to explain different layers... Let's see... It's like the difference between someone you're dating saying, "We need to work on our communication style" and the same person saying, "We need to work on our communication style, or I'm gonna dump your ass, and I'm already looking at the girl next door." While the latter two may be perfectly true, there's no point in bringing them up because it's possible that the person WILL work on their communication style. Does that make sense? Or in another example, I had a friend who told her crush that she had a crush on him, and he said, "Well, I'm really not attracted to you at all, but we can still have sex, if you want to go get yourself tested." She of course told him she had way too much a sense of self-preservation for that... and of course they weren't friends anymore, but I think that they would have been had he simply said, "Well, I'm not all about that, but I don't mind friends with benefits." You know? It's just how you WORD things and how MUCH you say. And then she wouldn't have been upset at his implications that she had AIDS or something, which she didn't need to know he thought that unless she'd accepted his (sleazy) proposition. How do we skirt around these issues. Like my friend, who's dating guys she met online, and they'll ask her if she wants to get coffee or a drink or go on a hike. Is she really supposed to say, "Well, since I've never met you before, can we just meet somewhere in public that doesn't involve alcohol or secluded locations?"

     

    And of course at work (hypothetically of course) I'd always tell my boss she should let me know directly if I'm doing something wrong, because I want to know, but what I don't tell her is that I want to know so it won't look like I'm doing that around her, not because I give a shit about our company. :lol: But then if we really took this honesty thing to an extreme, everyone would answer job interview questions quite differently. "I don't really care about your company, and I'm not planning on keeping this job." And the job, "We may downsize next year, and we want someone like you who we can pay less than they're worth until then."

     

    And then there's the whole ethical question. I got in a car accident that was my fault, compensated the victim to his satisfaction (even though he didn't have insurance and I could've gotten away with it), but I don't think he's going to sign the civil compromise papers because he's a flake. I also know he won't show up to court. Is it unethical to plead not guilty when I know I did it?

     

    I guess part of this whole dilemma is that I feel like so many of our problems are based on the fact that all communication is pretty flawed, and that nobody will know exactly what someone else is thinking. I have a friend who gets extremely upset if I misinterpret things he says even slightly. Like, he'll say things like, "You said I MIGHT mean that, which means you think there's a POSSIBILITY I would do it, but there IS no possibility, because I would never mean that. How could you say that?" I remember my response was something like, "Why do you care what I think?" And I told him that in the past he'd implied that I had done several things I knew he was wrong about, but I didn;t care, because I knew I was doing the right thing, and his perception didn't matter. So it's like maybe once your ego gets out of the way, what other people think doesn't matter at all. And yet... it's just hard for us sensitive ones to walk around knowing that people we like or even love and respect think certain things about us that aren't even true, and there's nothing we can do, and one way they can let us know is by telling us the truth, but since we can't change their opinions anyway, maybe it's better not to know at all.

     

    Thoughts?


  8. Thanks for this forum. I admire a lot of what goes on here and a lot of Taoism itself, though I have not practiced taoist meditations or qigong or tai chi for some time. In my 20's and 30's I practiced a mantra meditation that resulted in way too much kundalini. Fueling the fire was a misguided attempt to be celibate for a number of years in order to be more spiritual. It wasn't a healthy time. It was a hard way to learn some basic lessons, but I learned. Anyway, the main thrust of my inquiry is this: I was diagnosed as having a significant bone marrow chi loss due to this unbridled kundalini. (I'm not familiar with TCM terminology so I don't know if jing is synonomous with bone marrow chi. Is it?) The person diagnosing said that the energy I was working with in my cultivation practices wasn't sufficient to restore the depletion. He mentioned that taking dried placenta over time could gradually help replenish the bone marrow chi. After researching placenta, I elected not to go that route. So here's the question (at last). Does anybody know of a vegetarian herbal remedy that could help restore bone marrow chi? I have read some of the postings on this site regarding herbs and appreciate the thought you put into them.

     

    Thanks


  9. I am quoting from Steven Harrison's book, Doing Nothing, here.

     

    Love is not something that we do to one another. There is no object or subject in love.

    Love is what is present when there is no object-subject, when there are not two.

    This feeling of not being love is in fact the need for love, the need for a cessation of the

    divided world in which our egos exist.

    This cessation does not come about through someone loving us.

    It does not come about by us loving another.

    Love is not causal. It cannot be created, it cannot be practiced, it cannot be taught.

    We can deeply inspect what we are, and in that we can see the structure of division which

    is inherent to thought, memory, and ego. We can cease. We can be still.

    Love, which is the very energy and expression of life, is whole. Thought cannot approach

    this energy. Words cannot capture it.

    This energy of wholeness cannot be used, or divided, or squandered.

    It is us all, and all of us.

    This is not the answer to our question, it is the question fallen silent.

     

    What I understand from this is that love is. We do not recognize it because of all the energy we put into experiencing ourselves as separate. (Think for a moment how much time we spend judging, evaluating others. And think about how much energy that takes. Then simply cease that activity for a moment.) Harrison explains that this apparent division between self and other, subject and object, perceiver and perceived is the basic structure of thought, and that any attempt to get beyond this apparent division by using the source of that division (thought/mind) tends to reinforce apparent separation.

     

    I believe the desire to love all is wonderful. And the experience that love preexists as the natural state of creation when we cease reinforcing the apparent separation in our lives is astonishing.


  10. My name is John. After meditating and the like for over 30 years, I realized the hard truth that meditating to improve or fix an illusional self is a recipe for increased neuroses, fear, unfortunate health and an ever greater sense of separation. Still, I continue to be blessed by family, community and life. The fortunate thing now is to realize the difference between living and meditating from a faith in wholeness instead of a belief in separation. I define faith as what is left after my beliefs have been burned away. It is not dialogue; it is the silent pressing in my heart.

     

    Though I love the Taoist aesthetic and the techniques that spring from it, I do not currently practice Taoist techniques. I love to engage in dialogue with those who have (perhaps long since) realized that allowing pursuit to enter one's practice has the effect of keeping their goal of unity outside their experience. I love learning how they experience life and their practices after they have deeply grasped the notion that they are what they seek, that they are not their personality (which they have to constantly struggle to maintain, defend, and improve or fix) but rather are the unfolding perfection of life which reveals itself moment by moment by moment. I thank those participating in this forum for the intent with which they participate in it.