Under

Hey again everyone. I have been looking into other things regarding my problem, and there is this healing practice that I have known about for a while but I abandoned it due to other ideas I have come across that might be the answer. However, I feel like it will be close to hitting the nail on the head so to speak. I am talking about "soul retrieval". Basically, a soul retrieval is when a Shamanic Healer finds and returns your missing soul piece(s). Soul loss can occur when you go through traumatic events such as abuse. And a piece of your soul actually detaches itself in order to avoid the constant pain.

 

Ok. At first I didn't want to put this in the forum... but I did go through something traumatic. I was verbally and emotionally abused by someone who I thought was my friend. He did it to me for years. He would constantly cyber harass me and manipulate me for no reason. I won't go into detail of the amount of hurtful things he has said to me. But I tried confronting him about it, and he screamed and cursed at me saying "Why are you bringing up old wounds!? If your going to fucking hold grudges than don't fucking talk to me" (he screamed at the top of his lungs like an animal while saying that btw)

 

This made me have a major anxiety attack. And I have been tremendously emotionally hurt by that piece of filth. I always had flash backs of the amount of things that he has said to me. Of how "My parents don't even love me" and how "my sister is a whore" and he did it to me for no reason.

 

I think the Binaural Beat coincided with when my soul left me due to the amount of stress that I was in.

 

http://www.katharinelee.co.za/soul-retrieval.php

 

"Loss of soul appears in the form of a sudden onset of apathy and listlessness; the joy has gone out of life, initiative is crippled, one feels empty, everything seems pointless”.

 

I also found this other article that when people with mental disorders take certain drugs medication. There soul actually disconnects from there body as well.

 

http://www.alchemyre...m/psychosis.htm

 

"The drugs used to treat psychosis affect the brain in such a way that the astral body and chitta are disconnected. This disconnects the patient from many of their Samskaras and also reduces the vibration of their etheric and physical bodies which slows down mental activity. A disconnection from the lower chakras also occurs, leading to a loss of sex drive and loss of feeling in the genitals. So in effect the drugs reduce all sensations coming from the subtle bodies of the patient."

You have unfortunately severed some connections in your brain through your ignorance. Don't repeat that error again!

 

Wait. Do you think that the Binaural Beat could have caused damage to my brain?... I hope that's not the case. That's the last thing I want on my mind.

Just wanted to say Happy Easter to everyone. Hope your all doing well. Your all good people and I appreciate you guys taking your time to help me. So I hope you all have an amazing Easter Sunday.

Hello under,

 

obviously Youve recieved tons of great advice..besides all of the spiritual/grounding stuff, a lot of your symptomology resembles mine to a T. There are a few things I can almost guarantee can help. It sounds like somewhere/somehow, your adrenals and or thyroid have become pretty unbalanced. Someone else said from a TCM perspective your kidneys are weak. this is pretty much adrenals. Adrenal problems can cause you to feel numb, dissasociated, fogged, almost like a zombie. this has a knock on effect on the rest of your hormones. May I suggest this product:

http://www.enzymatictherapy.com/Products/Energy/Daily-Energy/04085-ADRENergize.aspx

 

You will know very very quickly after taking a dose of this if the adrenals are at least a big part of your issue. It will quickly brighten things up and youll feel a zest that I am assuming is missing at the moment. You probably wont even need the 3 capsule a day dosage, in fact 1-2 often is enough especially since you are young. Also would not hurt to get your hormones checked out..large doses of vitamin c, magnesium, and assorted B vitamins will work synergistically with the supplement Ive recommended. This gives you something concrete to try along with trying to get grounded, qigong etc. If somethings malfunctioning with your adrenals/thyroid, it doesnt matter how much spiritual activity you do its not gonna get you over the hump. I think you need something quickly to help to let you feel like your self and see theres a light at end of tunnel. Ive been there man, brain fog and fatigue so thick I literally couldnt remember what I did 5 seconds ago, accompanied by a feeling of total numbness and dissacotiation, like everythings a dream. This is adrenal/thyroid related Id almost guarantee it. The supplement is very safe and its worth a shot. Let me know if you try it and how you get on.

 

good luck..

 

Hello bax44. Thanks for the information. I actually have been taking B Vitamin. My parents usually buy the liquid type but they sometimes buy the tablets. I have been taking it for about 4 months now and it has not helped me at all. All it does is make me feel relaxed but that's about it. I also take Fish Oil Tablets and other multivitamins. And have been taking them for a while and I have not seen any improvement. I still have erection problems and almost non-existant sex drive and emotional flatness. They do nothing for me.

 

I am probably going to ask my parents to book an appointment with an endocrinologist. Your right, it wouldn't hurt to get my levels checked... And if he says that my levels are normal than I'm probably going to go get a spiritual healer... I don't know why but I have a strong feeling that this has something to do with chakra imbalance probably from my research. I have been reading things about the "sacral chakra" and apparently it is the seat of a persons emotions. And when it is closed off or weak you can't feel your emotions and you have a weak sex drive. And it also governs sexual pleasure. I have a feeling that the Binaural Beat i listened to closed off that chakra. I can't say for sure though.

 

http://www.chakrashack.com/articles/anarah_sacral.html

 

"If the Sacral Chakra is closed, you are likely to be at the opposite end in terms of emotionality. In this state, you are likely to feel flat and lifeless, or cold and distant i.e. you are out of touch with your emotions, and perhaps even your sexuality."

 

But honestly. If I go to the endo and if he finds that there's nothing wrong... And if that spiritual healer doesn't work. I am probably going to lose my mind and have a mental break down.

The whole thing sounds entirely mental to me. You talk about fear a lot...and when you don't, your tone is still very fearful.

 

I don't blame you. But if you really want to fix this, you need to just stop worrying. I don't know what you have done for two years but it seems like your mindset hasn't changed.

 

Foget kundalini. Forget Binaural Beats and any of these spiritual practices...I can almost see you're playing a guessing game with zero guidance from anyone experienced.

 

If you pick bits here and there from meditation and delve too deep by just using your own interpretation, you're going to, pardon my French, fuck your mind up. I know this first hand.

 

The best thing to do is to stop now and just do other things. The problem is only there because you let it happen. It's like a robber breaking into your house every time you just finished replacing all your assets, and each time you decide to just let it happen as opposed to getting an alarm, guard dog, housemate or gun or whatever.

 

Sgt. Rara

 

Hey Rara. I have tried the method of just simply ignoring this and just live life. However, There are a lot of things that are physically wrong with me that I can't just simply ignore. Like, I'm not trying to get personal or sound gross; but I rarely get erections anymore. I have read on the internet that if a male does not get an erection for a while the cartilage will break down and the penis will get small and the nerve endings will also break down. I can still get erections, but I have to consiosuly make it go up. The whole purpose of the a male getting random erections throuought the day is for the reason that it won't get small. And not to mention that there is no more sexual pleasure anymore. That is seriously upsetting. And yes I did rule out physical symtoms becuase I went to 4 doctors and I got blood tests and they don't know what the hell is going on.

 

And I actually have been going a little nuts. You know, when you read articles online about how the "third eye is the mark of the beast" and how "Kundalini is the serpant that tempted adam and eve in the garden" you know, it does make you lose your damn mind. So maybe your right in that aspect. I'll stop making myself go nuts and just presume that this stuff isin't any demonic crap.

 

I'm probably going to go to a spiritual healer because I'm pretty sure that this has something to do with Chakra imbalance. But the problem is my parents are Christians and don't believe in this stuff. So, idk. I guess ill have to wait until I move out.

 

And if the spiritual healer dosen't work than I'm probably going to kill myself... nah, I'll probably pussy out and not do it. But still, this is no way to live.

 

But you are all good people for responding and trying to help me out. I deeply appricate it.

Your body has a natural healing mechanism that will open up blockages. It's called spontaneous shaking. Stimulate your body to shake and then it let the shaking take over and your body where it needs to loose up. Doing this for an hour a day is extremely beneficial and will with time and effort ventually loosen and dissolve blockages in your body.

 

My 2 cents, Peace

 

Hey OldChi. Really? How exactly can I do this?

Hey guys. Well. It's almost 2 years later. I am still having this problem... I still feel emotionally numb. And I also have 0 sex drive and there's no pleasure from sex.

I have been searching around on the Internet. And I found out that the "Sacral Chakra" is responsible for your emotions and sexuality. And when it is closed off you feel lifeless and your sexuality is cut off. Perhaps my meditation closed/damaged that chakra?

Now. I was also researching that if you listen to a Binaural Beat that is calibrated at 9.0 Hz that it actually stimulates the Sacral Charka and opens it.

As you guys may know. I have a intense phobia agasnt Binaural Beats now. But I really can't live like this anymore. So, I am willing to try it.

 

However. I am also afraid that if I mess with my charkas that it will awaken full blown Kundalini.

 

I am also hesitant becuase I heard you need to start from the root charka first. Than move up. So I don't know.

What do you guys think? Should I just listen to it and open my sacral Chakra?

Hello again everyone. I have not posted here in a while. Well, I am still having this emotionless problem since my meditation thing. Someone on this forum mentioned something about "soul retrieval" Does anyone know were to find one or if I am able to do it on myself?

I will state again that what has happened is a Kundalini awakening.

 

Thanks for the info songtsan. But exactly how long does this last? Please tell me it isn't permanent. This is no way to live.

Ok. I'm seriously losing my mind now... Whatever.

bump.

Would you feel nothing if you went skydiving?

 

Nope. I could literally do the most craziest things and it wouldn't affect me emotionally at all. I don't even fear death anymore.

You say you feel nothing?

 

Just an emotional aspect. I can still feel pain. Let's say if there's an emotional scene in a movie that people say "if you don't cry from this you have no soul" Well, I don't cry. I actually used to be a very emotional person. I would cry easily if I saw an emotional movie scene. Now, It's the total opposite. A day before this happened I actually watched a movie called "The Lovely Bones" I remember it being impossible for me to hold back tears while watching. Last week I tried to watch the movie to see if it had the same emotional affect on me. And it didn't.

 

It's just so scary; I didn't want to mention this because I didn't want to seem like a shallow person. But my entire family could literally die and I wouldn't feel anything about it. Like, I still care. But there's just no emotion attached to it. But it's not my fault! My body just isn't reacting to it.

I just wanted to Thank everyone who replied and have given me advice and showed concern. Well, there's really nothing more I can say. This blank/numb feeling persists everyday. I seriously don't know what to do anymore. I really don't see the point in living if I can't even enjoy anything. Suicide seems like a good option. I just find it sad because I feel like nobody understands me when I tell them "I have no emotions". It must be uncommon because I've been to about 4 therapists so far and they had no idea what I was talking about. They keep saying "Well, you have to be feeling emotions if you want them back" I guess I can understand what there saying. Like, I still care; but at the same time apathetic... It's hard to explain... I just don't know anymore...

it really does sound energetic in nature, although it could be due to random release of energetic blocks or due to an intelligent force such as kundalini.

 

Ok... Well if it is an energy block or Kundalini. Is there anyway to get back to my old state? I have been like this for 2 years and I would very much like to experience my emotions again.

Could be Kundalini - there is a lot of mention of Kundalini and left leg stuff, which is really to do with the area for the left leg in the pre-motor cortex. Also mention of loss of libido, anhedonia, and the muscle spasms could possibly be kriyas, or spontaneous movements...

 

or it might not be that at all - what was the quality of the muscle spasms? Did they seem random, or almost as if someone was 'doing' them besides you?

 

Hello Songtsan. The way I can describe the muscle spasms were that it felt like little involuntary twitches that occured on my neck that would go throughout my body. It would happen randomly. This lasted for about 6 months. Oh yeah, and I forgot to mention that my legs would contract by themselves when I fell asleep at night. This dosen't happen anymore either.... Wow, I acutally just relized something else that I forgot to mention. About a week after the heat thing I got a wierd tingling sensation inbetween my eyebrows... Is that the third eye?

Would you like me to merge this with your identical thread from September?

Hello Bagua. The reason why I reposted this was because I wanted to add a some things that I left out about my experience. You can merge it if you like (even though I have no idea what that does)

NOTE: To anybody reading this, there used to be a post here regarding side effects that I was experiencing that I thought was caused by meditation... I deleted the post because I now know that it had NOTHING to do with the meditation... I was going through a lot of stressful things in my life and I stupidly though that the meditation was the cause. There were a lot of people that have read this post and  I apolgize if I have scared anyone into not doing mediation. Mediation is a GOOD thing and I hope that I did not discourage too many people into not doing mediation. Please ignore the title... Thank You.

 

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Hey emptyhand, I just wanted to get back to you on what you said on your previous message on how "You can’t process your karma from outside the body"... What exactly do you mean by that? I'm talking about in respects to the karma thing. So your saying if I do something good for someone than it won't count towards my karma? Like something good won't come back to me? I actually do believe in karma due to personal experiences that I've had in my life, And I hope that isn't the case, because I actually have been doing good for people on the course of this experience. I helped out a lot during hurricane sandy and I was actually hoping that I would get rewarded for that... And also what do you mean from that I'm "outside of my body"? How can I be outside of my body if I'm viewing inside my body. It doesn't really make much sense to me.

 

Please Reply back. Thanks.

Signs of being out of the body are that your libido takes a hike. You still have one, but you don’t feel it and you feel like a grey alien. People spend time out of body (OOB) for a lot of different reasons, such as: Avoiding painful emotions, fear, trauma, lust etc by meditating on the crown or 3rd eye chakra. The emotions are still there.

 

The witness state is also technically an (OBE). Switching “witness” feels unemotional, non-judgemental and the mind becomes silent. It is not really a bad thing and may actually be beneficial in providing insights and detachment. However, you may not want to live there! You can’t process your karma from outside the body. The emotions need to be fully experienced for the release to take place. Not suppressed or avoided, which simply creates a cocoon around the content which get perpetuated.

 

One of the simplest ways to get back in touch with the body is to simply practice being aware of the breath and practicing grounding. I recommend Angelique’s grounding and soul meditations. That will get you back in touch with the body. To get the full benefit out of the grounding meditation, you have to do it many times a day for 1-2 months, until the state becomes permanent and your feet "tingle" all the time.

 

Grounding Meditation:

 

http://kundalini-teacher.com/meditations/grounding.php

 

Soul Meditation

http://kundalini-teacher.com/meditations/soul.php

 

I hope this helps

 

Emptyhand

 

And Thingol answered: 'What of your quest, and of your vow?' But Beren said: 'It is fulfilled. Even now a Silmaril is in my hand.' Then Thingol said: 'Show it to me!' And Beren put forth his empty left hand, slowly opening its fingers; but it was empty. Then he held up his right arm; and from that hour he named himself Camlost, the Empty-handed. (Silmarillion, JRRT)

 

Hey, sorry I didn't responded sooner. I just recently started college and I've been bombarded with homework. I researched soul retrieval and I'm probably am going to try it. Honestly, I'm willing to try anything now because I'm really starting to get desperate. This has been going on for almost a year now and it really sucks. I don't see the point of living if I can't experience joy or any type of positive emotion. The only problem with this is my parents are Christians (annoying) and they won't bring me to a person that will do it for me... So like is there anyway I can get one without my parents knowing?

IMO, its been my experience that an intense state of inner stillness and lack of attachment/desire is often a sign of spiritual development. It seems that the meditation you were doing opened up something inside of you....and from what you said you were basically practicing emptiness meditation while listening to bi-neural beats, i don't think there is anything wrong with that approach....you seemed to have simply opened up something within you....the inner stillness can be a bit scary at first but you get used to it.

 

What's important is that you relax, allow these changes to integrate themselves into your personality, and perhaps even facilitate the changes with spiritual practices (if you are willing) rather than fighting them....which IMO will not help.

 

My 2 cents, Peace

 

Ok... But is this "stillness" permanent? This has been going on for over a year now so I am pretty much used to it, but just because I'm used to it doesn't mean I want it... Honestly, I'd rather die than feel like this. What's the point of living if I can't even enjoy life and feel happiness? I went to my senior prom last month and I couldn't even enjoy it. And that sucks because prom is supposed to be special.

 

What do you suggest I do?

NOTE: To anybody reading this, there used to be a post here regarding side effects that I was experiencing that I thought was caused by meditation... I deleted the post because I now know that it had NOTHING to do with the meditation... I was going through a lot of stressful things in my life and I stupidly though that the meditation was the cause. There were a lot of people that have read this post and  I apolgize if I have scared anyone into not doing mediation. Mediation is a GOOD thing and I hope that I did not discourage too many people into not doing mediation. Please ignore the title... Thank You.

 

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Hey they said I have to post here to start posting topics... So yeah I don't want to say my real name but my user name is "under" I'm 17 years old and I live in the U.S. I want to utilize this forum for the best of my ability.