how do you use taoism during a conflict?

[Billy K]

Just be natural. If nature says "play nice", then play nice. If nature says "headbutt", then headbutt. It's all about the gut-feeling.

[Spectrum]

btt

[WhiteTiger]

Spectrum, what does btt stand for?

[Ya Mu]

How do you use Taoism in a conflict?

 

Project calmness. Works really well.

[the buddha & the beast]

How do you use Taoism in a conflict?

 

Project calmness. Works really well.

 

i think u'r right...every time i've managed to do this, it's worked either by making the other person angrier lol or by actually helping the other person to compromise on a solution for the both of us. i think no matter what, showing calmness allows your strenth to be seen both by others and yourself.

[Martial Development]

interesting...i've never heard this theory before. that would be really cool to see a person who only wins his "battles," though i wonder how you know when u'r sure to win.

 

It is not hard to win every battle, if you only participate when the odds are strongly in your favor. This is (part of) what Sun Tzu was talking about. See chapter 4 of my summary.

 

Hopefully, you can also see the shortcomings of this approach.

[WhiteTiger]

It is not hard to win every battle, if you only participate when the odds are strongly in your favor. This is (part of) what Sun Tzu was talking about. See chapter 4 of my summary.

 

Hopefully, you can also see the shortcomings of this approach.

 

Hopefully, everyone attempting to achieve winning all battles can see the shortcomings of this approach.

 

How do you use Taoism in a conflict?

 

Project calmness. Works really well.

 

ah very nicely said.

[Bruce]

Not trying to sound Taoist here, but sometimes yielding really is the best approach. Ask yourself why you have to win. That's kinda like the old saying: "you have to pick your battles". Try hanging out with a toddler all the time. Sometimes it really is best to let them have their way for awhile. They'll forget about it all in 5 or 10 minutes anyway.

 

Adults, of course, are a bit different, but I think that "picking your battles" still applies. I spent a lot of years in a very large organization leading projects that depended on the approval of several other inter-organizational groups. I learned very quickly about picking my battles. Even if I could easily win, it was often better to yield. In the long run yielding might mean a good future working relationship, but had I gone for the jugular that would've been the end of that relationship forever, and your actions always come back on you. That's karma at work in the work-place!

 

Seek to understand, then to be understood. Listen and really hear. That's what I tried to live by at work.

[TheWhiteRabbit]

Not trying to sound Taoist here, but sometimes yielding really is the best approach. Ask yourself why you have to win. That's kinda like the old saying: "you have to pick your battles". Try hanging out with a toddler all the time. Sometimes it really is best to let them have their way for awhile. They'll forget about it all in 5 or 10 minutes anyway.

 

Adults, of course, are a bit different, but I think that "picking your battles" still applies. I spent a lot of years in a very large organization leading projects that depended on the approval of several other inter-organizational groups. I learned very quickly about picking my battles. Even if I could easily win, it was often better to yield. In the long run yielding might mean a good future working relationship, but had I gone for the jugular that would've been the end of that relationship forever, and your actions always come back on you. That's karma at work in the work-place!

 

Seek to understand, then to be understood. Listen and really hear. That's what I tried to live by at work.

 

Thank you I was thinking something similar

Edited February 15, 2009 by TheWhiteRabbit

[WhiteTiger]

Adults, of course, are a bit different, but I think that "picking your battles" still applies. I spent a lot of years in a very large organization leading projects that depended on the approval of several other inter-organizational groups. I learned very quickly about picking my battles. Even if I could easily win, it was often better to yield. In the long run yielding might mean a good future working relationship, but had I gone for the jugular that would've been the end of that relationship forever, and your actions always come back on you. That's karma at work in the work-place!

 

Seek to understand, then to be understood. Listen and really hear. That's what I tried to live by at work.

 

Wonderfully said... thanks for taking the time to point that out.

[Spectrum]

Spectrum, what does btt stand for?

 

back to top

[WhiteTiger]

back to top

 

What ever happened to the word "Bump". The Action of bumping?

 

eh... I guess theres another abriv word for online use... btt it is

[Bruce]

What ever happened to the word "Bump". The Action of bumping?

 

eh... I guess theres another abriv word for online use... btt it is

bmp? I had no idea what btt was either!

 

For some reason I was thinking about this thread when I went to bed last night. What came to mind was:

there's winning in loosing and loosing in winning. Conflict is one of those cases where it's pretty easy to see the non-duality.

[WhiteTiger]

For some reason I was thinking about this thread when I went to bed last night. What came to mind was:

there's winning in loosing and loosing in winning. Conflict is one of those cases where it's pretty easy to see the non-duality.

 

Ah i know this theory very well... the smarty pants me didn't even think to look at it from this perspective...

 

Eh I digress

[Bruce]

Ah i know this theory very well... the smarty pants me didn't even think to look at it from this perspective...

 

Eh I digress

LOL, yeah it's certainly not an original thought. It just struck me how many times I've really lost through winning, especially when I "won" with the wrong frame of mind. Despite "winning" I was left with a sense of un-ease, often guilt. By the same token, by "loosing" I've felt victory through better relationships, or that I somehow knew I had done the best thing.

[Ya Mu]

I am sure I have posted this before on this forum, but I would like to illustrate the Taoist Calmness approach as this thread seems to be a very good example.

When I say project calmness I am talking about first Knowing calmness; in other words tune into the specific vibration for calmness and really get to know it so you can recall this vibration at any given moment. Better still, IMO, is to embrace this vibration and live inside it. If a person is an accomplished energy practitioner (defined as a person that has put time & effort into an energy cultivation practice), then he/she can do this. So, after knowing calmness utilize qi projection methods to project this specific vibratory energy to the other person.

 

I had a police officer come to one of my qigong workshops who had heard, and was dead set on learning how, that a "real" qigong master could knock a gun out of a criminal's hands with qi. That was his total reason for coming to the class and he told me so in first stating this then asking me if I could do it. I told him something to the effect that he needed to just take the class but that we would discuss it later. After the class, I asked him did he now understand that a "real" qigong master would not choose to do any such thing but would instead project calmness.

 

I have personally been involved in several situations where this method has worked more than well as in extremely well in that, not only did it diffuse the immediate situation but helped the parties involved to achieve harmony in other situations.

[Wayfarer64]

Calmness is the beginning. That is the basis of all out-put... But in instances when there is real trouble afoot - action may be needed beyond the calmness, (without ever leaving the calmness) ... It should come very naturally when it is needed. Just ACT as required... yes, Do what is needed. The actions will become obvious when yr intent is to preserve the well-being of all concerned...Tho the rough handling of people who are being nasty and hurtful may also come into the realm of possibility...Then martial arts training is certainly useful...

 

If you have no training - just try to project the calm - a stout heart and clear mind will often disuade the bullies we meet up with and no show of force is needed...