help w/understanding emotional connection with death?

[jeffclist]

I've been questioning and prodding my fear of death lately, and I've gotten to a point where it feels like it would be refreshing to die and I'm very curious.

 

I don't understand why I'm so emotional though - anyone who has watched "The Big Blue" might understand what I'm talking about. At the end of the movie when jacques goes out to drown himself "I have to see..." I was just balling... and it's not a painful or suffering cry, just pure emotion flowing through me.

 

now whenever i think about death (intensely) i hit waves of emotion. and it's not fear, because it used to be fear and now it has transformed. it feels more like a growth, like it's supposed to happen.

 

i have been practicing kunlun too but i'm not sure that has anything to do with it

 

does anyone relate or is anyone able to understand what i'm talking about?

[joeblast]

well...I guess death's something we all have to reconcile, hopefully before it happens

 

refreshing, though?? why not enjoy the time ya got here?

[freeform]

Thanks for sharing Jeff.

 

Death is part of a cycle. We tend to think of death as the end, but from another perspective it's just one aspect of a cycle - the flower starts growing, opens up all bright and beautiful then starts wilting, falls and dies, the organic matter from the decomposing leaves feeds the micro-organisms and other seeds in the ground - another flower starts growing...

 

If you know about the microcosmic orbit - moving up the back is like the flower growing up - then the energy starts going down the front and you go back down into the formless, ready to come back up again.

 

You may be opening the front channel - this is usually tied closely with emotions and death - let the emotion flow and don't disrespect it by trying to find a reason for it or reacting in some way - just stay present to it and allow it to flow how it does - you're opening up!

 

Kunlun may very well have triggered this...

 

 

I've been questioning and prodding my fear of death lately, and I've gotten to a point where it feels like it would be refreshing to die and I'm very curious.

 

I don't understand why I'm so emotional though - anyone who has watched "The Big Blue" might understand what I'm talking about. At the end of the movie when jacques goes out to drown himself "I have to see..." I was just balling... and it's not a painful or suffering cry, just pure emotion flowing through me.

 

now whenever i think about death (intensely) i hit waves of emotion. and it's not fear, because it used to be fear and now it has transformed. it feels more like a growth, like it's supposed to happen.

 

i have been practicing kunlun too but i'm not sure that has anything to do with it

 

does anyone relate or is anyone able to understand what i'm talking about?

[.broken.]

I believe Buddhist monks contemplate death as a practice. Usually this used to mean disappearing off the a grave yard, or somewhere where dead bodies were kept unburied. They would immerse themselves with the notion that our bodies are merely fleeting. As such they would lose all attachment to their own bodies.

 

Personally, I find it quite impractical to go find decaying bodies when I wish to meditate. But I have meditating on death many times before. The results can be quite profound. Keep at it and see what happens!

[Yoda]

And some who meditate in cremation grounds for a long time start to feel a bit peckish...

 

(see Aghora or aghori on youtube, episode 2 or 3 I think)

 

Back to the subject at hand... I'm dying of curiosity, myself. I think of it like the board game "Clue" where you make your prediction... Col. Mustard in the Conservatory with the candlestick and then you open the envelope and you get to see how you did. Very exciting stuff!

 

I think that everyone, even if they are technically right ("See, I told you... it's all about harps and clouds, pay up!!") will still be surprised what that actually entails as there is a huge phase shift that is extremely difficult to relate with while in the physical form.

 

Your pal,

Yoda

[steve]

I've been questioning and prodding my fear of death lately, and I've gotten to a point where it feels like it would be refreshing to die and I'm very curious.

 

I don't understand why I'm so emotional though - anyone who has watched "The Big Blue" might understand what I'm talking about. At the end of the movie when jacques goes out to drown himself "I have to see..." I was just balling... and it's not a painful or suffering cry, just pure emotion flowing through me.

 

now whenever i think about death (intensely) i hit waves of emotion. and it's not fear, because it used to be fear and now it has transformed. it feels more like a growth, like it's supposed to happen.

 

i have been practicing kunlun too but i'm not sure that has anything to do with it

 

does anyone relate or is anyone able to understand what i'm talking about?

My relationship with the idea of death has changed radically in the past few years. There was a time when I looked at death as "the enemy" to be fought and thwarted at all costs. There was even the fantasy of immortality - escaping death entirely. I no longer have those sorts of ideas.

 

I look at death as natural, necessary, and I have less concern or fear about it. Who knows how I'll feel when death is truly imminent, I'm not trying to sound as if I have no fear or apprehension when it comes to pain and suffering and death but there's been a definite change.

 

In Daoism there is the idea of mutual arising - yin/yang - life is yang to death's yin. Death must occur to renew and refresh life. Death gives meaning to life. Not only is the meditation on death valuable to illustrate impermanence. I think it also helps to give meaning and significance to what can otherwise be mundane and trivial aspects of life.

 

I used to think a lot about what happens after death, what the experience will be like and so on. This is an important part of religious thought and how institutionalized religion keeps the population in check - fear of what happens after death. Now I look at it differently. THere is only experience when the experiencer is there. After death, I believe the experiencer is gone so there is no experience. Experience occurs during life - absence of exprience after death. I sort of look at death as the interval between life and life as the interval between death.

 

Alan Watts has a nice analogy that I think is borrowed from Zen koans which is to try and imagine what it will be like to go to sleep and never wake up. Similarly, try to imagine what it is like to wake up after never having gone to sleep. I also like some of Watts' other ideas about celebrating the end of life - after all (I'm paraphrasing) just think, no more bills, no more illness, responsibilities, decisions to make.... YIPEEE!

I'm not saying that I want to hurry my death - life has too much to offer, but it will in some ways be a welcome relief to the trials and tribulations of life and the suffering that often accompanies illness and injury. How boring and insufferable would it be to live forever? I wouldn't want it.

 

Excellent subject for inquiry and introspection, jeff.

[.broken.]

Now I look at it differently. There is only experience when the experiencer is there. After death, I believe the experiencer is gone so there is no experience. Experience occurs during life - absence of exprience after death. I sort of look at death as the interval between life and life as the interval between death.

Fantastically well put! Although my perspective is the same, I couldn't have written it with such simplistic eloquence

 

Many people have asked me why I have the outlook on death that I do... My response is simply, "I do not remember coming into being, so why should I fear leaving it?"

Edited April 8, 2008 by .broken.

[ToP-fan]

The Grim Reaper has been some what on my mind lately also...............My dad suffered a stroke 2 months ago and even though he's having a decent recovery with therapy, the thought of his mortality and everybody else's has been a daily occurance.

 

If it weren't for some OBE's that I have had, I would probably be more obsessed with death than I already am.................Call it spirit, soul, astral body etc, I take comfort that some part of me is immortal and to steal from physics, "matter can be neither created nor destroyed." and will pop up somewhere else.

 

That's the big mystery for everyone I guess.......I've developed a Death for Dummies mantra that I repeat to myself whenever the skeleton with the sickle runs a feedback loop in my head.

 

"Your not here.......Your here.......Your not here"

 

 

We flicker in and out of 3d and have probably done it thousands of times.