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What now?

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I am 20 years old now.

I have never really practiced any sort of qi gong/yoga. However, close to a few months  back, I suddenly realised the fact that I did not know who I really was when I woke up from sleep in the afternoon one day. The body was not me, and the mind was definitely not me.

 

This seemed to send off an explosion in my head. It felt as though a thick cover had been lifted off from the top of my head. I enjoyed and meditated on this feeling quite a bit.

Then, I started to do some research and figured that it might have something to do with the spiritual dimensions of life. Since I am in a university, and didn't exactly get enough time to learn, or even search for a teacher, I researched around for a bit and found this forum. After lurking around for a bit, I bought the 25 doors to meditation book from William Bodri and found some meditation practices.

 

So then, I started practicing the skeleton visualisation method I found on his website. I had some experiences, and quite a few times, I felt something go boom in the body.

 

However, I stopped the practices altogether since a few of my friends advised me to. Even I felt that there was probably something wrong with my head. A few weeks passed by just like that, and even if I didn't practice, I could feel something stirring up inside my back, moving towards my head. It's been close to two months since then.

 

Here comes the problem :

 

In these two months, all of my energy has seemingly gotten stuck in my head and presses down on my temple most of the time. Recently, it has even manifested in the form of phlegm in my nose which I can't seem to spit/blow out. This was probably one of the most frustrating periods of my life, since there was times when I felt that this energy was about to just explode out of my head with a 'poof'!

 

I could also "feel" the things in my very immediate surroundings. When I used this thingy on my LDT, the energies seemed to automatically recede downwards, clearing up my head. However, they always came back up, annoying me to no little extent.

 

Now my uni is placed in a remote area, with no tai-chi/yoga classes around, and I don't think there are practitioners here. However, thanks to the coronavirus lockdown, I am back home. Hence, I finally had some time around my hands and I did an Inner Engineering Online course from Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev since I had found his talks quite eye-opening. There, he talks about all your sufferings related to karma/action and accepting things as they are. (The 7 classes were quite transformational, and I still feel pretty good about betting my money on it.)

 

I found the energies calm down completely after I have accepted them. However, even if they don't make me suffer anymore, it would still feel better to get my head cleared up and have my senses senses heightened. Moreover, I still alternatively feel states of high energy and fatigued (it's mostly fatigue) and a loss of appetite after I lie down in the bed after practicing yoga and meditation for a while. And once this happens, it continues to hound me through the day. So that's my general situation.

 

Are there any solutions?

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I've heard good things about Bodri and Sadghuru. As for your feelings of alternating between fatigue and high energy.....not sure....sounds like you may be having some temporary rushes of kundalini through your system. 

 

To help with fatigue you may wish to look at your diet. Avoid highly processed foods, grains and take cold showers in the morning. There may be some heavy "internal rewiring" going on that is causing the system to to feel more fatigue than usual. 

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3 hours ago, CataclysmicSky said:

I am 20 years old now.

I have never really practiced any sort of qi gong/yoga. However, close to a few months  back, I suddenly realised the fact that I did not know who I really was when I woke up from sleep in the afternoon one day. The body was not me, and the mind was definitely not me.

 

This seemed to send off an explosion in my head. It felt as though a thick cover had been lifted off from the top of my head. I enjoyed and meditated on this feeling quite a bit.

Then, I started to do some research and figured that it might have something to do with the spiritual dimensions of life. Since I am in a university, and didn't exactly get enough time to learn, or even search for a teacher, I researched around for a bit and found this forum. After lurking around for a bit, I bought the 25 doors to meditation book from William Bodri and found some meditation practices.

 

So then, I started practicing the skeleton visualisation method I found on his website. I had some experiences, and quite a few times, I felt something go boom in the body.

 

However, I stopped the practices altogether since a few of my friends advised me to. Even I felt that there was probably something wrong with my head. A few weeks passed by just like that, and even if I didn't practice, I could feel something stirring up inside my back, moving towards my head. It's been close to two months since then.

 

Here comes the problem :

 

In these two months, all of my energy has seemingly gotten stuck in my head and presses down on my temple most of the time. Recently, it has even manifested in the form of phlegm in my nose which I can't seem to spit/blow out. This was probably one of the most frustrating periods of my life, since there was times when I felt that this energy was about to just explode out of my head with a 'poof'!

 

I could also "feel" the things in my very immediate surroundings. When I used this thingy on my LDT, the energies seemed to automatically recede downwards, clearing up my head. However, they always came back up, annoying me to no little extent.

 

Now my uni is placed in a remote area, with no tai-chi/yoga classes around, and I don't think there are practitioners here. However, thanks to the coronavirus lockdown, I am back home. Hence, I finally had some time around my hands and I did an Inner Engineering Online course from Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev since I had found his talks quite eye-opening. There, he talks about all your sufferings related to karma/action and accepting things as they are. (The 7 classes were quite transformational, and I still feel pretty good about betting my money on it.)

 

I found the energies calm down completely after I have accepted them. However, even if they don't make me suffer anymore, it would still feel better to get my head cleared up and have my senses senses heightened. Moreover, I still alternatively feel states of high energy and fatigued (it's mostly fatigue) and a loss of appetite after I lie down in the bed after practicing yoga and meditation for a while. And once this happens, it continues to hound me through the day. So that's my general situation.

 

Are there any solutions?

 

I agree with @RiverSnake , also:

 

Okay, when energy is stuck in your head, 95+% of the time, you are doing too much energy work, too early (pathways have not been toned and tuned enough to take that load) and invariably, you are not doing enough diversity in your daily grounding. I would recommend that you cut way down all energy work (except for some very slow stretching, think about how a cat would stretch if he/she's goal was to stretch every single muscle in the body.) Then do that very slowly and very gently and get into the pure pleasure, in the feeling of it ( and I mean from the tips of your toes to the top of your head and then back down again to the toes).This is a balanced energy/grounding/meditation activity that if done cosistently 6-7 days a week, for at least 15 minutes a day will help alot in getting to feel better.  DRINK lots of water, but not too much ( whenever you are thirsty + a couple of extra glasses of water for good health). Do activities that fill yourself with joy! Walk around barefoot when it is convenient. Get your hands deep into some black rich loose soil, plant something in it.  Pet an animal you love; recognize its' qualities that you admire. Have less opinions about most things, check and watch your irritations, then trace them back to their root.  Remember, the only thing that is under your power is how you act and react to anything.  Make sure that you are in the driver's seat.

As you start to feel better, add your various trainings back a little bit at a time, Be very aware, about how you feel right before and for a few days after each, indivual, small addition and act accordingly.

 

 

 

 

Edited by moment
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2 hours ago, RiverSnake said:

I've heard good things about Bodri and Sadghuru. As for your feelings of alternating between fatigue and high energy.....not sure....sounds like you may be having some temporary rushes of kundalini through your system. 

 

To help with fatigue you may wish to look at your diet. Avoid highly processed foods, grains and take cold showers in the morning. There may be some heavy "internal rewiring" going on that is causing the system to to feel more fatigue than usual. 

 

40 minutes ago, moment said:

 

I agree with @RiverSnake , also:

 

Okay, when energy is stuck in your head, 95+% of the time, you are doing too much energy work, too early (pathways have not been toned and tuned enough to take that load) and invariably, you are not doing enough diversity in your daily grounding. I would recommend that you cut way down all energy work (except for some very slow stretching, think about how a cat would stretch if he/she's goal was to stretch every single muscle in the body.) Then do that very slowly and very gently and get into the pure pleasure, in the feeling of it ( and I mean from the tips of your toes to the top of your head and then back down again to the toes).This is a balanced energy/grounding/meditation activity that if done cosistently 6-7 days a week, for at least 15 minutes a day will help alot in getting to feel better.  DRINK lots of water, but not too much ( whenever you are thirsty + a couple of extra glasses of water for good health). Do activities that fill yourself with joy! Walk around barefoot when it is convenient. Get your hands deep into some black rich loose soil, plant something in it.  Pet an animal you love; recognize its' qualities that you admire. Have less opinions about most things, check and watch your irritations, then trace them back to their root.  Remember, the only thing that is under your power is how you act and react to anything.  Make sure that you are in the driver's seat.

As you start to feel better, add your various trainings back a little bit at a time, Be very aware, about how you feel right before and for a few days after each, indivual, small addition and act accordingly.

 

 

 

 

Thank you for your advice. I had recently started walking around the garden barefoot in the morning before sunrise. Does that count as grounding?

 

There's one more thing. I have read here about spontaneous movements and I know that it requires large amounts of practice to get to that. However, even before I had read about these or knew what these movements looked like, I would go through those strange movements when I distributed this feel all around my body.

3 hours ago, CataclysmicSky said:

I could also "feel" the things in my very immediate surroundings. When I used this thingy on my LDT, the energies seemed to automatically recede downwards, clearing up my head. However, they always came back up, annoying me to no little extent.

 

Not sure if it was mere hallucination, since I don't seem to be able to walk around with my eyes closed if I only relied on this feeling. However, when I used to 'give in' to the feeling, the body would go around doing strange things.

 

Just a few days ago, my body starts doing back-bending exercises which I have never seen or heard of before. Moreover, this is not all. I wasn't able to sit cross legged with a straight spine well since being an otaku has destroyed my posture. However, I played around and now when I try to give in to the feeling, my shoulders raise themselves automatically while I feel some muscle around my back sinking, and lo! I can sit as stably as I want to with no sense of backaches.

Can anyone explain this please?

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Strong energy movements in the subtle body can cause movements in the physical body. It means the energy wants to move in a specific way and the movements are a reflection of it trying to work through those channels and tissues. Let it happen.

 

You can also consciously trigger these movements via spontaneous shaking,...just start to shake and let your "body wisdom" take over and guide the  flow. 

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8 hours ago, CataclysmicSky said:

Thank you for your advice. I had recently started walking around the garden barefoot in the morning before sunrise. Does that count as grounding?

My vote: ( if it counts for anything )... No.  It's probably the opposite for you and becomes meditative.

 

Eating, drinking, conversation with other people, are all healthy ways to ground oneself. 

 

ETA:  if you're drinking enough water, simply going to the bathroom a little more often is all a person needs to be grounded.

Edited by Daniel
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6 hours ago, RiverSnake said:

Strong energy movements in the subtle body can cause movements in the physical body. It means the energy wants to move in a specific way and the movements are a reflection of it trying to work through those channels and tissues. Let it happen.

 

You can also consciously trigger these movements via spontaneous shaking,...just start to shake and let your "body wisdom" take over and guide the  flow. 

 

I generally agree with you on most things but, in the case of @CataclysmicSky here, I advise against consciously  triggering the movements, with spontaneous shaking, at least at this point and time.

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@CataclysmicSky Spontaneous movements are not that unusual. Be careful because there is some danger involved. I’d suggest following a proper system of development - and not only would you be more ‘grounded’ but develop in many other ways too. Have a look at Damo Mitchell’s Internal Arts Academy - it’s a full system and people have had good results. Good luck

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On 7/17/2020 at 4:43 AM, CataclysmicSky said:

In these two months, all of my energy has seemingly gotten stuck in my head and presses down on my temple most of the time. Recently, it has even manifested in the form of phlegm in my nose which I can't seem to spit/blow out. This was probably one of the most frustrating periods of my life, since there was times when I felt that this energy was about to just explode out of my head with a 'poof'!

 

It is very common to gain an energy blockage in first days of practicing some random stuff found over internet or even incorrect teachings given online by some teachers or in books.

 

Those cases range from mild to severe, but most people don't realize that any internal practice carries risks and dangers that multiply progressively when you just do it on a whim on your own from random book or page on the internet.

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@SongShuhang White bone visualisation is genuine tho, no? Moreover, as I said, I had yet to completely believe in qi and stuff like that, so I stopped the practice after barely a month.

Edited by CataclysmicSky

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On 7/16/2020 at 8:43 PM, CataclysmicSky said:

 

I could also "feel" the things in my very immediate surroundings. When I used this thingy on my LDT, the energies seemed to automatically recede downwards, clearing up my head. However, they always came back up, annoying me to no little extent.

 

Yes, because of habit.  To retrain this requires retraining body, breath, and mind - letting go of the tension that squeezes energy up to the head, training the breath to be anchored in the belly even when you aren't thinking about it, and letting go of unnecessary thinking and residing in the body and senses unless conceptual thinking is specifically called for. 

 

freeform mentioned Damo Mitchell's material, which starts out with learning to do just those things.  Here is a taste of it, to see how you respond to his person and his material. 

https://damomitchell.com/2020/06/09/anchoring-the-breath/

I recommend this meditation to literally everyone who expresses interest in meditation or energy work to me.  It's that good.

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