Earl Grey

Dao Bums Christmas Toast and Roast 2019

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Dear Bums,

 

It's that time of the year and I thought to experiment in a new tradition, in the spirit of being merry and where usual aggression, be it passive or active, can be turned into affectionate roasting and toasting, ribbing one another because through it all, we're a dynamic community and family, who bring each other up and piss each other off, like the Addams Family and the Honeymooners, even with a few odd ones out like the Archie Bunkers and Al Bundys out there. 

 

Begin with any member, conversation, thread, or memorable event of the year and celebrate it with a roast, a toast, or a jingle. You can do this as many times as you want, but you must do so in a manner appropriate for the season. 

 

And if you're Jewish, come right in and give us Hanukkah fun too. Let this go through Kwanzaa to New Year, folks. 

 

Whatever you do in this thread, don't be dicks... be Dickens!

 

I'll start out with a little jingle, to the tune of Santa Claus is Coming to Town, a toast for Sean's triumphant return, I give you, 

 

Sean The Man is Cleaning up House

 

You better not shout

You better not fight

Better get out

If you're the Alt-Right

Sean the Man is cleaning up house

He's making a list

And checking it twice

Gonna find out who's naughty and nice

Sean the Man is cleaning up house

He sees what you've been posting

He knows when you're a bloke

He knows if you've been bad or good

So be good, don't just be Woke!

O! You better watch out

You better not cry

He's kicking them out

Kiss the Alt-Right trolls goodbye

Sean the Man is coming,

Sean the man is ready,

Sean the Man is cleaning up house.

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Oh, scandalous delight! As long as it's agreed this really is done through love. Is there some kind of waiver to sign? ;)

 

Join me now in a round set to Hark! The Herald Angels Sing

 

Hark! The herald Everything,

Glory to the here and now.

Effortlessly evermore,

Same thing that it said before.

 

Scrolling, all the users’ browsers.

Scrolling for what feels like hours.

Holy shit, they doth proclaim,

Why’s he posting this again?

 

Oy! The harebrained Everything,

Here and now, for evermore.

 

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You better not lie
You better not meet
You better not react
I'm telling you now

The Limahong actor is coming to town.

 

He's collecting data
He's checking it twice
He's gonna find out

The beat of daobum art
The Limahong rascal is coming to town.

 

He sees you when you're enchanting
He knows when you berate

He knows when you are here or not
wears many masks for goodness sake.

 

Oh you better not flitter

and be so irate

you better not be careless and spill your darkest secrets

The Limahong actor is coming to town

Edited by moment
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More Pie Threads

 

Posting on the row
On consecutive days
O'er the nonsense we go
Laughing all the way

 

Replies pop up making 'ping'
Making confusion alright
What fun it is to browse and sing
A daily shitpost tonight!

 

More Pie threads, More Pie Threads,
More Pie all the way.
Huh huh! what fun it is to write
On consecutive days.

 

More Pie threads, More Pie Threads,
More Pie all the way.
Huh huh! what fun it is to write
On consecutive days.

 

A day or two ago
I thought I'd make a reply
And soon, WMPs of all kind
Were arguing for their side,
The memes were mean and dank
Misfortune seemed their lot
They got into a circle wank
And then they got upsot.

 

More Pie threads, More Pie Threads,
More Pie all the way.
Huh huh! what fun it is to write
On consecutive days.

 

More Pie threads, More Pie Threads,
More Pie all the way.
Huh huh! what fun it is to write
On consecutive days.

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O come, Silent Thunder

Come with all your wisdom

To share, and to elevate

The Dao Bums this year.

 

Come and behold him,

Sheer illumination

O come let us adore him

O come let us adore him

O come let us adore him

Creighton, the Bum.

 

 

(Great topic, Earl!)

Edited by manitou
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O Little Steve of Baltimore,

How very well you write.

Above the din of argument

You're seldom in a fight.

 

And in the darkness shineth

Your everlasting light

The holiday festivities

Are at your house tonight.

 

And if you're not agreeable

I don't know what we'll do,

We'll have to find another place

That also has a loo.

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Dashing through the threads

In a most dynamic way

O what fun it is to read

Limahong at play.

 

OH...Limahong, Limahong

He's here every day

What fun to see the visual aids

They're really pretty gay.

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Little Daobum Boy
 
Come they told me, pa rum pum pum pum
The Daobums to see, pa rum pum pum pum
Our finest gifts we bring, pa rum pum pum pum
To lay before the Bums, pa rum pum pum pum
Rum pum pum pum
So to honor them, pa rum pum pum pum
When we come
 
 
Little Daobum, pa rum pum pum pum
I am a Daobum too, pa rum pum pum pum
I have no gift to bring, pa rum pum pum pum
That's fit to give the Bums, pa rum pum pum pum
Rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum
Shall I post for you, pa rum pum pum pum
Oh Daobums?
 
Laozi nodded, pa rum pum pum pum
The yin and yang kept time, pa rum pum pum pum
I post my dao for them, pa rum pum pum pum
I dao my best for them, pa rum pum pum pum
Rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum
Then some smiled at me, pa rum pum pum pum
Some thought me dumb
Dumb
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Silent Thunder, Holy Rain

All is calm, life´s alright.

He walks barefoot in the early morn.

He won´t judge you even if you watch porn.

So...sleep in heavenly peace.

Sleep in heavenly peace.

 

Silent Thunder, Holy Rain

Reading him, never a pain.

He lives in the now, says connection is king.

Not afraid to die or let go of anything.

So...sleep in heavenly peace.

Sleep in heavenly peace.

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To the tune of 12 Days of Christmas, I give you The Twelve Days of Digging but am too lazy to type out the whole version, so figure it out with each day already spelled out here like we've reached the 12th day already. :D 

 

On the twelfth day of digging
the forum gave to us:


12. Luke's Awesome Artwork

 

11. A brand new Mo Pai FAQ

 

10. Board rules much better

 

9. Brian coming briefly 


8. Jim's wake and party

 

7. Non-cis as a forum


6. Sex talk and qi flow


5. Tao-MEOW came baaaaaack!!!


4. Some awesome pics

 

3. More weird memes

 

2. Dwai and Steve's new books

 
1. And a chain for haiku poetry

Edited by Earl Grey
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10 hours ago, liminal_luke said:

 

Earl,

 

If I was more clever with song lyrics I´d try my hand at composing a nice roast over on your toasting & roasting thread. As it is, suffice it to say that if I ever thought spiritual people didn´t "get angry" or were "party-poopers" you´ve disabused me of that notion.  :)

 

9 hours ago, liminal_luke said:

 

Mixing practices and looking for advice?

Earl Grey tells it like it is, he doesn´t care about  nice.

 

Chia says be celibate, get your immortal peach.

Freeform says be careful, you´ll become perverted leech.

 

Taomeow knows her yin and yang,  she´s a genius cat

But if you try to fight her, she´ll swat you like a knat.

 

Guys come here to get power, attract all the girls

It´s a real Taobum bummer, why aren´t you casting pearls?

 

 

Above is an example of an affectionate toast and roast from liminal_luke that doesn't have to be set to Christmas and Hannukah jingles!

 

Now my challenge to Luke (or whomever) is to see if you can do something like "You're a mean one, Mr. Grey" to the tune of the Grinch song!

 

 

Edited by Earl Grey
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To me this song, just as it is, embodies so much of the spirit of strife giving way to unity we sometimes see here!

 

 

 

I'll add this over the chorus, though :D

 

If Flowing Hands walked in today,
I just imagine what he'd say,
He'd say "Oi! don't ya know, this site's 'bout the Dao*,
You chumps carry on 'bout your Chrsitian holiday."

 

*pronounced like "dough"

 

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3 minutes ago, Nintendao said:

To me this song, just as it is, embodies so much of the spirit of strife giving way to unity we sometimes see here!

 

 

 

I'll add this over the chorus, though :D

 

If Flowing Hands walked in today,
I just imagine what he'd say,
He'd say "Oi! don't ya know, this site's 'bout the Dao*,
You chumps carry on 'bout your Chrsitian holiday."

 

*pronounced like "dough"

 

 

I'm more partial to Gwen Stefani's version, but love the original you posted too!

 

 

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5 hours ago, Taomeow said:
Little Daobum Boy
 
 

 

 

 

OMG  that was beautiful, Taomeow.  You are a jewel inside and out.

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To the tune of Christmas Tree:

 

Ilumairen, Ilumairen

Her posts are full of courtesy

Ilumairen, Ilumairen

She says "it's just good manners"

She doesn't care for enmity

She just wants reciprocity

Ilumairen, Ilumairen

Her candle is quite fancy

 

Oh, Nintendao, oh, Nintendao

They're also quite empathic

Oh, Nintendao, oh, Nintendao

A happy yellow Yoshi 

They never fight or reprimand

They'd rather go to Disneyland

Or listen to an awesome band

Oh, Nintendao, oh, Nintendao

They love to catch more Pokémon


Oh mantis Zork, oh mantis Zork

He doesn't pull his punches

From straw man to ad hominem

He'll show how you have no logic

Each foolish post or rant you make

No one alive will get away

Oh, mantis Zork, oh, mantis Zork

The rational discourse mantis

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On 17/12/2019 at 10:59 AM, Nintendao said:

Mess with Nungali, and your goose is pretty much cooked!

 

Some big rough Maori  boys threatened to eat me once  .... in New Zealand .      Yikes !     Managed to buy them a beer then escape  instead .

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To the tune of Deck the Halls:


Look, another post on Crowley

blah-blah-blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah

OP doesn't know Nungali

blah-blah-blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah

If they know what's good for them now

blah-blah-blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah

Nun'll get 'em, no sweat off his brow

blah-blah-blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah


See the ranting of some incel

blah-blah-blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah

Here comes Nungers, raising some hell

blah-blah-blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah

He's a trickster and quite jolly

blah-blah-blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah

Our very own pal Nungali

blah-blah-blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah


Nungers tells them straight to the point

blah-blah-blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah

Get their facts right, don't smoke that joint

blah-blah-blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah

If they hate to hear that it's true

blah-blah-blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah

Not Nun's prob they don't have a clue

blah-blah-blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah

Edited by Earl Grey
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Let all the Trump Talk be forgot, 
And never brought to mind.
Forego the squabbling for naught,
For auld lang syne.

 

To cultivate your Dao of De,
For now and to all time,
Empty your cup and don't forget,
To shine an inner smile.

 

beautiful-new-year-2020-fireworks_52683-

 

Spoiler

There's still festivity to spread as we approach the Lunar New Year!

 

 

 

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