Encephalon

Ten Years Later

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I was an active member ten years ago, before I got married and had a child. I had more time for nei kung practice and forum participation back then, but I eventually stopped participating inTDB for a few reasons.

#1,  to the extent that I maintained animosity toward myself and was still subject to the power of my own negative, unconscious conditioning, I inevitably projected that animosity toward others, and had a well-earned reputation for being less than honorable when it came to voicing criticism of others and their ideas. If we remain true to our practice of awakening, the reality of interdependence begins to replace the delusion of an isolated self, and the very idea of attacking others in any way becomes untenable, even in the midst of strongly differing opinions.

#2,  It was not until 2015 that Developmental Trauma Disorder become recognized as a specific condition with the  publishing of The Body Keeps the Score.  And it wasn't until 2018 that I actually sought and received help for this. (It's possible a DTD thread could be valuable here.)  

#3, I was having multiple surgeries on my skeletal system back then, and was clearly acquiring a fondness for extra doses of Vicodin, not to mention plenty of weed.  This practice is not helpful in the battle over delusion.

 

I own all this and categorically apologize for the hostilities I unleashed in this forum.  I was quite arrogant and haughty and justified my style  under the guise of being intellectually rigorous.

 

That being said, there were inherent conditions of TDB I could no longer tolerate.  Foremost was the sheer volume of lunacy, anti-intellectualism, and magical thinking that prevailed during the era of 2009+/-.  I did my best to cite references to support my claims, a practice which often elicited ridicule given my arrogant style, but I still maintain that intellectual honesty is the bedrock of a functioning inquiry.  Even discussions of a spiritual nature require a basic respect for critical thinking and definition of terms, perhaps even more.

 

I was taken aback  by the volume of right-wing conjecture that was prevalent even then.  My earliest posts were attacked and ridiculed through the looking glass of paleo-conservative ideology, void of of any meaningful substantiation. Almost everyone seems a little guilty of confirmation bias these days but the truth  is available wherever it whenever it is respected.  Ironically, I have actually become more conservative during this last decade, but my conviction has only grown that both Taoism and Buddhism recognize the  interpenetration of all phenomena, ideas as well as the entire web of life, and that a sensible and sane politics that  prioritizes happiness over the pursuit of pleasure is  inconsistent with modern industrial consumer capitalism. 

 

So,yeah... ecology is real.  And it's radical. 

 

I commend Sean for taking his recent actions.  Our current leadership is taking cues from the ancient authoritarian playbook to obliterate reality by denying any objective truth, by slowly whittling away the belief that people can be certain of anything.  They live beyond the bounds of reason and cannot be reasoned with, not in life, not in forums.  Anicca, the Buddhist  expression of impermanence of all things, remains the only solution. 

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I am a fundamentalist Occultist, and I struggled with Truth for a long time.  My friends would say "There is no Truth" and I finally realized, after contemplating Chaos for 15 years or more, that there is Truth- it is all True.  This was a huge mountain for me, to recognize what Hobbes pointed out about morality- that each person establishes it on their own based on their subjective realities.  That is true, but then I kept looking, because that didn't satisfy me.  I started as a Christian, and I moved onto the LHP (or was moved, rather), and I was inundated with concepts about self, self awareness, and selfish patterns of action.  The voices in my head asked why I wanted to be in the "cult of the self" and I had no answer (as I said, I was put here).  I spent my 20s practicing self actualization but came up with a benevolent method of interpreting the world because I saw that this was the only answer to all the various bias of the world.  Still, this was not enough Truth for me, and so I sought hard, got the call from the Gods, and went forward- hence my being put on the LHP.

 

Anyway, I conquered Chaos and kept digging.  I moved from the LHP to the RHP when I realized that this is a community of people, that rely on one another for reproduction and survival, and that, as a fundamentalist; this was objectively true.  It doesn't take long to re-establish a moral code after that.  One man and one woman come together to raise a vulnerable infant, and when that infant is raised, they do the same- this is the objective Truth- and are all vulnerable still, even as grown people.

 

The elemental journey I took taught me a lot about cosmic Truth as well, and the contemplation of fire really taught me about the variety of Truth that lead people away from my objective Truth.  I believe this idea of fire is also objectively True- and it combats with the former objective Truth that I stated, so both are True, and we struggle with this juggling act, which I think is very well defined by the two sides of the body and the LHP and RHP perspective.  

 

Objectively, time moves, the Universe moves, human beings move- and things birth, rise and die.  There may or may not be anything more for us after breathing the air is over, but while we are here, we have to co-operate with one another.  

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On 8/2/2019 at 4:59 AM, Mskied said:

...  My friends would say "There is no Truth" and I finally realized, after contemplating Chaos for 15 years or more, that there is Truth- it is all True.. 

I've always liked the saying 'The opposite of a great Truth, is another great Truth.'

Quite often when tested, it works out. 

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On 8/1/2019 at 9:53 AM, Encephalon said:

I was an active member ten years ago, before I got married and had a child. I had more time for nei kung practice and forum participation back then, but I eventually stopped participating inTDB for a few reasons.

#1,  to the extent that I maintained animosity toward myself and was still subject to the power of my own negative, unconscious conditioning, I inevitably projected that animosity toward others, and had a well-earned reputation for being less than honorable when it came to voicing criticism of others and their ideas. If we remain true to our practice of awakening, the reality of interdependence begins to replace the delusion of an isolated self, and the very idea of attacking others in any way becomes untenable, even in the midst of strongly differing opinions.

#2,  It was not until 2015 that Developmental Trauma Disorder become recognized as a specific condition with the  publishing of The Body Keeps the Score.  And it wasn't until 2018 that I actually sought and received help for this. (It's possible a DTD thread could be valuable here.)  

#3, I was having multiple surgeries on my skeletal system back then, and was clearly acquiring a fondness for extra doses of Vicodin, not to mention plenty of weed.  This practice is not helpful in the battle over delusion.

 

I own all this and categorically apologize for the hostilities I unleashed in this forum.  I was quite arrogant and haughty and justified my style  under the guise of being intellectually rigorous.

 

That being said, there were inherent conditions of TDB I could no longer tolerate.  Foremost was the sheer volume of lunacy, anti-intellectualism, and magical thinking that prevailed during the era of 2009+/-.  I did my best to cite references to support my claims, a practice which often elicited ridicule given my arrogant style, but I still maintain that intellectual honesty is the bedrock of a functioning inquiry.  Even discussions of a spiritual nature require a basic respect for critical thinking and definition of terms, perhaps even more.

 

I was taken aback  by the volume of right-wing conjecture that was prevalent even then.  My earliest posts were attacked and ridiculed through the looking glass of paleo-conservative ideology, void of of any meaningful substantiation. Almost everyone seems a little guilty of confirmation bias these days but the truth  is available wherever it whenever it is respected.  Ironically, I have actually become more conservative during this last decade, but my conviction has only grown that both Taoism and Buddhism recognize the  interpenetration of all phenomena, ideas as well as the entire web of life, and that a sensible and sane politics that  prioritizes happiness over the pursuit of pleasure is  inconsistent with modern industrial consumer capitalism. 

 

So,yeah... ecology is real.  And it's radical. 

 

I commend Sean for taking his recent actions.  Our current leadership is taking cues from the ancient authoritarian playbook to obliterate reality by denying any objective truth, by slowly whittling away the belief that people can be certain of anything.  They live beyond the bounds of reason and cannot be reasoned with, not in life, not in forums.  Anicca, the Buddhist  expression of impermanence of all things, remains the only solution. 

 

 

OMG!  Blasto!  I'm so glad to see you back!  I've been on a rather long hiatus myself.  The old gang seems to be reassembling a bit.

 

The right wing conjecture lives on...:lol:  Thankfully Sean has come back just in time.  

 

Honestly, I don't remember a lot of hostilities or arguments you were in.  But the fact that you are apologizing for those episodes is a wonderful thing - and I think that someone willing to undress themselves in front of the group is a very spiritual thing.  A person who has the courage to admit a shortcoming is the teacher for all the rest.  How often do we really get to see an honest self-evaluation of errors made?  Personally, I believe this particular ability for humility is the stuff that enlightenment is made out of.

 

So glad to see you!  I'll PM you.

 

Barb

 

 

 

 

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Posted (edited)
On 8/1/2019 at 11:53 AM, Encephalon said:

#2,  It was not until 2015 that Developmental Trauma Disorder become recognized as a specific condition with the  publishing of The Body Keeps the Score.  And it wasn't until 2018 that I actually sought and received help for this. (It's possible a DTD thread could be valuable here.)

 

So,yeah... ecology is real.  And it's radical.

ABSOLUTELY!  DTD is incredibly common today and I would love to hear your whole story and treatment of it!!! B)

Edited by gendao

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On 8/1/2019 at 12:53 PM, Encephalon said:

I was an active member ten years ago, before I got married and had a child. I had more time for nei kung practice and forum participation back then, but I eventually stopped participating inTDB for a few reasons.

#1,  to the extent that I maintained animosity toward myself and was still subject to the power of my own negative, unconscious conditioning, I inevitably projected that animosity toward others, and had a well-earned reputation for being less than honorable when it came to voicing criticism of others and their ideas. If we remain true to our practice of awakening, the reality of interdependence begins to replace the delusion of an isolated self, and the very idea of attacking others in any way becomes untenable, even in the midst of strongly differing opinions.

#2,  It was not until 2015 that Developmental Trauma Disorder become recognized as a specific condition with the  publishing of The Body Keeps the Score.  And it wasn't until 2018 that I actually sought and received help for this. (It's possible a DTD thread could be valuable here.)  

#3, I was having multiple surgeries on my skeletal system back then, and was clearly acquiring a fondness for extra doses of Vicodin, not to mention plenty of weed.  This practice is not helpful in the battle over delusion.

 

I own all this and categorically apologize for the hostilities I unleashed in this forum.  I was quite arrogant and haughty and justified my style  under the guise of being intellectually rigorous.

 

That being said, there were inherent conditions of TDB I could no longer tolerate.  Foremost was the sheer volume of lunacy, anti-intellectualism, and magical thinking that prevailed during the era of 2009+/-.  I did my best to cite references to support my claims, a practice which often elicited ridicule given my arrogant style, but I still maintain that intellectual honesty is the bedrock of a functioning inquiry.  Even discussions of a spiritual nature require a basic respect for critical thinking and definition of terms, perhaps even more.

 

I was taken aback  by the volume of right-wing conjecture that was prevalent even then.  My earliest posts were attacked and ridiculed through the looking glass of paleo-conservative ideology, void of of any meaningful substantiation. Almost everyone seems a little guilty of confirmation bias these days but the truth  is available wherever it whenever it is respected.  Ironically, I have actually become more conservative during this last decade, but my conviction has only grown that both Taoism and Buddhism recognize the  interpenetration of all phenomena, ideas as well as the entire web of life, and that a sensible and sane politics that  prioritizes happiness over the pursuit of pleasure is  inconsistent with modern industrial consumer capitalism. 

 

So,yeah... ecology is real.  And it's radical. 

 

I commend Sean for taking his recent actions.  Our current leadership is taking cues from the ancient authoritarian playbook to obliterate reality by denying any objective truth, by slowly whittling away the belief that people can be certain of anything.  They live beyond the bounds of reason and cannot be reasoned with, not in life, not in forums.  Anicca, the Buddhist  expression of impermanence of all things, remains the only solution. 

 

Welcome back Encephalon!

 

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Thanks to Steve and everyone else.  Good to touch base again.  Not sure how to participate anymore so I'll just dip my toe in the wading pool to start.

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3 hours ago, Encephalon said:

Thanks to Steve and everyone else.  Good to touch base again.  Not sure how to participate anymore so I'll just dip my toe in the wading pool to start.

 

  It's just like riding a bicycle.  Welcome back.  

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