Goldleaf

Sorry to be controversial, but I just read this and fear I may lose respect for women and I don't want to!

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I won't mention the site I got this from.  I don't know why, but honestly, it makes me feel sick in my stomach at the prospect of dating again, especially as I now older and more of a provider type.  Here it is.

 

"Evolutionary psychologists agree that women are actually looking for two mates, not one; a provider, and a genetic resource. They will hook up with providers and then have steaming sex with alphas behind the betas’ backs. The best deal is of course an alpha who is also a provider, but those things kinda cancel each other out because an alpha stops being an alpha when he supplicates.

Women actually do this quite often; they just don’t get caught for it as often as men do because they don’t brag about it. They also don’t have a need to tell their partners because while men make an emotional investment in their woman, women reserve their emotional investment for their children. If you study the statistics, you will notice that while men frequently commit suicide when their long-term relationship ends, women almost never do. Anybody ever wonder why?

Another study showed that the truth is actually likely to never come out; they did paternity tests to thousands of couples and their children, and it was revealed that a staggering number of the children weren’t actually genetically related to their father at all. I wish I still had that paper somewhere…"

 

I mean, my jaw drops when I realise this is true.  So, a man has to not only be a provider in a relationship, but also work hard, maintain the romance....and meanwhile the woman lose respect for him and cheat behind his back...while eating the food he puts on the table and driving his car he bought for her!!! 

 

I mean, I truly do not want to start a gender war, but I also don't want to become a mysogyonist who sees women only as sex objects who would otherwise exploit and backstab :((  I am posting here, because I have read some wonderful posts from some of the ladies here, and I am particularly interested to hear that they honestly do not believe this themselves.

 

Cheers

Gl

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Try to find a simple straight-arrow woman, and be a simple straight-arrow man.

This means you might have to let go of a large amount of the population who engage in gameplaying of all sorts and want excitements in their lives, agendas and so on.

The purpose of internet stories like these is simply to grab your attention; mostly by lying to you about what people are or want or have done or will do - the more shocked you are, the more of your attention they have got.

 

Next, man must have a purpose and have his own trajectory and learn about who he is and do his thing; and this makes him attractive for a woman.

Try to find a simple straight-arrow woman.

 

A large number of people are not becoming either man or woman because they live in a box watching the internet.   And this is the cause of much of these genderagendas.

 

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Why would you lose respect for a person who is not an ideal conventional stereotype? 

 

Women cheat as much as men do. 

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I'm not sure this is in any way accurate,. But even if it is, women and men are fundamentally different. Unless you view women through the prism of a male's experience and point of view and expect them to be intrinsically men who look pretty on the outside, there is no reason to hate them. They are different then us and want different things from life and relationships. No reason to hate them for that.

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my wife asked me once if I ever had sex behind her back so I said to her who did you think it was?

 

If reading some slanted view of psychologist makes you sick to your stomach one should realize that what is being said is poison

 

The true master is oneself do not seek truth from outside of yourself. Then one can heal from the poison administered from social mental illness.

 

My challenge is to debunk all that information and have great relationships with women for the rest of your life. This includes all non sexual relationships as well. I have found that women are the greatest gift in life.

 

As far as respect goes if we do not respect ourselves the good and the bad then respecting others is impossible and leads to bad relationships with all things

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Goldleaf - I think what you say tends to be true.

 

Not in all cases, as some women were raised well. Lets say 10% have strong values (I just made that statistic up)...but they're the type that doesn't stand out in the crowd. So, you have to find the simple lily, and avoid the attractive and plentiful thorns, if you want success.

 

Our society has indoctrinated all of us, men and women, against the truth of this matter, so you'll experience all kinds of resistance to any suggestion of such ideas. This is partly good - it's a good thing to protect women, and men have a propensity to protect those who they view as innocent; the lie serves a purpose. But this indoctrination also causes women in general to do all kinds of evil without being held responsible for it. At least personally, I was raised to believe that men and women should be held to an equal standard, and not that women are too weak to be responsible and good.

For people who aren't capable of becoming indoctrinated, they see the truth of this plainly through their experiences. For me personally, I've never known a woman who was 100% faithful. One of the easiest ways that a wife strays is first through an emotional relationship with someone else; even the women who I think the most highly of in my life are guilty of this to some extent (usually a surprisingly large extent). If they've come across a man who is a seducer, they can very easily stray.

The stereotypes about men being thinkers, and women being feelers, are generally true. Seduction causes a rush of various feelings, many of them quite good. It could perhaps be so strong as to even overwhelm the ability to think coherently, so perhaps at times despite the woman making a conscious decision to go along with the seduction and therefore being guilty, she can't be blamed as much as a man could for cheating. This should highlight the importance of keeping your partner away from seducers, or even just other men they're emotionally wrapped up in.

There is some truth to the idea that certain women will lose all respect for a man who is subservient, and that they'll inwardly despise him. Without respect, love and romance is impossible - no one can feel attracted to the personality they think is a complete dupe. If you're in a relationship with a dupe, who you look down upon and don't relate to at all, you feel stuck and spiteful, and cheating feels like liberation. These types of women simply haven't been raised right, and I say they should be avoided at all cost. The natural tendency for a man in love is to serve his beloved, and that doesn't make him a weakling. Only extremely low IQ people would think it does; they might assume a man is only strong when he's being abusive toward them. It's best as men to not follow the lead of these types of people...a lot of guys do follow that lead, and think that mistreating women is the answer to this dilemma. No. The real answer is to find a woman who is normal, and to not ever mistreat women. Avoid damaged goods.

 

I read something recently: observe the reactions of women when you suggest that paternity tests should be mandatory at birth. If you find one that has no objection to it, perhaps that one is good and smart. There definitely are some women out there who recognize these problems with their own gender. If the wife who you thought was an incredible angel talks about your lack of trust being so horrible in regard to making a suggestion about paternity tests, you should wonder why her trustworthiness can't ever be put to the test...what is there to hide?
 

The truth, or reality, is not poison. Ignorance of the truth can be a sweet tasting poison. The truth is strongly bitter, but if it saves you from getting into a relationship with the wrong type of woman, then it's an antidote. If it causes you to run away from all women for your whole life...well in that case, your fear is a poison, because men and women should be in relationships with each other. But understanding how things actually work is never a poison...it's the only solid ground we have to stand upon.

So to summarize this again: there are two types of women. 1) Those who view things from an alpha and beta perspective, who have no values. 2) Those who are smart and good natured. Avoid the bad ones!

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It's true. 

 

Now you know why a strong foundation of organized religion is important for strong family units and a strong societies. You know the joke about red headed step children?  Most males do not want to raise another man's children. 

 

There is no reason to be upset by your realization. It is what it is. But now that you know, utilize  the information to your advantage.

 

 

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Posted (edited)

Oh well just do your best and be happy when it works. When it doesn’t count your blessings and move on. 

 

No perfect people. And any man with an ego too big to serve should view it as a spiritual practice and be grateful for the opportunity.

 

Any woman who lies should expect to be cast out an shunned. I divorced my former wife I knew for 23 years for her behavior, it cost me a house and quite a few bucks but honestly it was cheap compared to my life.

 

This made way for a much better lady and if I had to do it all over again I would... but more skillfully this time.

 

Pretty simple really.

Edited by Pilgrim
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The health of the tree, revealed in the condition of its fruit.

Both reflect the condition of the soil, the air and rain.

 

The soil comprised of that which came before lies beyond choosing and decisions.

Rain falls as it falls, on the just and the shitty alike, it falls without distinction and beyond choosing.

 

But the air, how you breathe air and are breathed by it, this you can influence a bit, intend, touch with will...

 

Trees blend rain, sunshine and air into fruit.

Then eventually decay into soil.

 

Life thrives on decay and decay nurtures life.

 

We are each of us, gardeners, like it or not, admit it or not, aware of it or not.

Every word, every action is a seed planted in all of those we affect.

 

While we may have no control over what seeds are planted in us...

We may at times, influence which seeds we nurture and feed.

 

And perhaps we also have some inkling from time to time, over what type of seeds we will plant in others.

 

 

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9 hours ago, Goldleaf said:

I won't mention the site I got this from.  I don't know why, but honestly, it makes me feel sick in my stomach at the prospect of dating again, especially as I now older and more of a provider type.  Here it is.

 

"Evolutionary psychologists agree that women are actually looking for two mates, not one; a provider, and a genetic resource. They will hook up with providers and then have steaming sex with alphas behind the betas’ backs. The best deal is of course an alpha who is also a provider, but those things kinda cancel each other out because an alpha stops being an alpha when he supplicates.

Women actually do this quite often; they just don’t get caught for it as often as men do because they don’t brag about it. They also don’t have a need to tell their partners because while men make an emotional investment in their woman, women reserve their emotional investment for their children. If you study the statistics, you will notice that while men frequently commit suicide when their long-term relationship ends, women almost never do. Anybody ever wonder why?

Another study showed that the truth is actually likely to never come out; they did paternity tests to thousands of couples and their children, and it was revealed that a staggering number of the children weren’t actually genetically related to their father at all. I wish I still had that paper somewhere…"

 

I mean, my jaw drops when I realise this is true.  So, a man has to not only be a provider in a relationship, but also work hard, maintain the romance....and meanwhile the woman lose respect for him and cheat behind his back...while eating the food he puts on the table and driving his car he bought for her!!! 

 

I mean, I truly do not want to start a gender war, but I also don't want to become a mysogyonist who sees women only as sex objects who would otherwise exploit and backstab :((  I am posting here, because I have read some wonderful posts from some of the ladies here, and I am particularly interested to hear that they honestly do not believe this themselves.

 

Cheers

Gl

 

Looks like you have taken the red pill and the veil has dropped from your eyes. The fact of the matter is that things are as they are, women are solipsistic and hypergamous and you must simply accept this fact and get on with your life.

 

It is also foolish for a man to ask a womans opinion on this matter, to observe the truth you should watch what women do rather than listen to what they say. Good luck.

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3 minutes ago, silent thunder said:

While we may have no control over what seeds are planted in us...

We may at times, influence which seeds we nurture and feed.

 Very  good and we may also roast the karmic seeds of past present and future so they may not spring into life unbidden in body, speech and mind.

 

This is one of the many gifts of the Bon Tradition anyone may learn.

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10 hours ago, Goldleaf said:

 

I am posting here, because I have read some wonderful posts from some of the ladies here, and I am particularly interested to hear that they honestly do not believe this themselves.

 

I don't believe it in the way it has been laid out.

 

We'll start with this:

 

10 hours ago, Goldleaf said:

So, a man has to not only be a provider in a relationship, but also work hard, maintain the romance....and meanwhile the woman lose respect for him and cheat behind his back...while eating the food he puts on the table and driving his car he bought for her!!! 

 

No. A man does not have to be provider. If this dynamic is chosen in a relationship (working provider male/stay at home housekeeping, perhaps child rearing female) it is a mutual agreement. If this is not amenable to you, then don't enter into such an agreement or relationship. 

 

Regarding this arrangement some women thrive in such conditions, and some women slowly die inside. And what plays out from this is exceptionally personal in regard to both the relationship and individuals involved. 

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Posted (edited)

At times the world seems full of good-for-nothing lying cheaters -- of both genders -- but does this mean we should all hang up the idea of human connection and hightail it to the nearest monastery or nunnery?  Of course not.  Point of fact, many Bums are happily partnered.  (May I see a show of hands.) 

 

I´m skeptical of any sentence that starts out "women are..." or "men are...."  While it´s possible to make generalizations, the truth is that we´re a pretty varied lot.  There´s all sorts of women in the world.  Yes, they likely have issues -- as do us men -- and the magic of relationships is that we´re likely to find the perfect partner with just the right issues to help us grow as people.  There´s nothing better.

 

Good luck!

 

LL

Edited by liminal_luke
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Posted (edited)

Well said and I would like to add as a male that if you are capable of earning sufficient wages from your work that you can cover your expenses then what harm does it do you to extend this to another?

 

Practically speaking rent will not change nor will a mortgage you are going to be paying one or the other regardless of weather you are alone or have a lady in your life.

 

Water and electric will not very by much either. 

 

The only things which will really change are food and other disposable things that one would not have on their own.

 

So the idea of the suffering male giving all is not so factual really but it varies by relationship.

 

Place a price on love, place a price on companionship.

 

There a far more Honorable good men and women than not, even the ones with damage or baggage which I assure you no one is truly free of outnumber the rogues.

 

Proof positive society continues.

Edited by Pilgrim
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4 minutes ago, liminal_luke said:

At times the world seems full of good-for-nothing lying cheaters -- of both genders -- but does this mean we should all hang up the idea of human connection and hightail it to the nearest monastery or nunnery?  Of course not.  Point of fact, many Bums are happily partnered.  (May I see a show of hands.) 

 

I´m skeptical of any sentence that starts out "women are..." or "men are...."  While it´s possible to make generalizations, the truth is that we´re a pretty varied lot.  There´s all sorts of women in the world.  Yes, they likely have issues -- as do us men -- and the magic of relationships is that we´re likely to find the perfect partner with just the right issues to help us grow as people.  There´s nothing better.

 

Good luck!

 

LL

🖐🏻 

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While reading what certain 'evolutionary psychologists' think may be good food for thought, if you're really gonna live your life by them you should find out what they think about men.  Ie you should stop thinking about yourself as an individual shaped by the various life experiences and environment (forget that crap) and give yourself over to what they say you (men) are motivated by. 

 

 

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You should know that's bullshit when you read the "alpha" and "beta" things. Not even the creator of the term uses it anymore, as his research proved that there is no such thing as "alphas" and "betas" in nature.

 

Look deeper and try to find this claim on its source. Name these "evolutionary psychologists" and look for the paper where they explain why they reached this conclusion.


What I can say to you is that most women do not want someone to be a provider. Women who want providers in their lives indeed seek adventure out of their homes, because home is a very boring and un-adventurous place to be. Adventure and excitement are needed for humans, be they male or female, and living closed in a house all day long, without anything exciting to do, indeed makes one go slightly crazy (enough to dream of having a "strong stalion" (or "bull" if you're into cuckholding) to give way to their fantasies.

 

What happens usually is for people who aren't into monogamy to feel suffocated and uninterested into having sex with only a single person, and when you mix an unexciting life with someone who isn't into monogamy, then you have yourself someone who will cheat on their partner very easily.

 

Most humans don't have an attraction to monogamy. We are beings who usually like a non-monogamous lifestyle, but we force ourselves to a monogamous state by convention and convenience (it is MUCH more advantageous to a sedentary lifestyle if you're monogamous).

 

So, just build your relationships upon knowing these basic principles:

 

1 - Always do exciting things with your partner.

 

2 - Never stop your partner from doing things which are exciting to her/him.

 

3 - Unhibit yourself and be prepared to take on a non-monogamous lifestyle eventually, even if you never do it (it will take a lot of stress out of your back).

 

4 -  Be sincere with your partner and yourself. Ask for sincerity as well. It will hurt a LOT if she/him say "I'm into someone else" (especially if it ISN'T exclusively in a sexual way) but that's only as much as you haven't accept the 3º item above.

 

Most women will have 1~2 affairs in their lives. Almost all of them will dream about having an affair, especially when the relationship goes south.


Are you up for real-life relationships with other people, or do you want do live in an imaginary bubble people put on your head ?

 

Evolutionarily speaking, relationships are meant to last for 2yrs or so. That's the time nature give us to make the woman pregnant with your child (and it is needed indeed if you're a hunter-gatherer - women don't get pregnant easily in nature).

 

All the pheromonic and biochemical triggers in your brain will go off if she's not pregnant after this much time. They will re-activate once if she is indeed pregnant with your child (you can tell by smell if the child is yours, you just need to become sensitive enough about your own pheromones and hers), and will deactivate again after the child has grown to a certain age (being old enough for the pair not needing to look after it).

 

Do you know what keeps two people togheter when those biochemical triggers go off?

 

1 - You like the other person's presence and is a good friend.

 

2 - The two of you are better togheter than being by yourselves.

 

Now, those triggers may (and probably WILL) trigger again, be between the two of you or/and with other people. Humans are beings which look for partners not through the lens of society, but through the lens of a mix of Oxytocin, Serotonin and other neurotransmiters. You'll just feel love, sexual attraction and others, as long as someone triggers those on your brain.

 

As much as you know yourself, is as much as you'll be able to spiritually guide the processes inside your body and decide to either go with them or avoid them. It's like fasting, or abstaining of alchohol or other drugs. Indeed, those neurotransmiters are the ones responsible for making people enjoy drugs in the first place.

 

If your partner knows herself and is capable of spiritually overcome the bodily impulses she will feel, then monogamy and even celibacy will be possible. If not, then brace yourself for how the human body works: Horniness reign supreme, even above hunger or the need to poop.

 

 

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1 hour ago, Desmonddf said:

Horniness reign supreme, even above hunger or the need to poop.

 

:lol: 

 

I call "bullshit".

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8 minutes ago, ilumairen said:

 

 

:lol: 

 

I call "bullshit".

 

Perhaps Desmonddf has more personal experience with horniness than constipation?

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5 hours ago, liminal_luke said:

 

Perhaps Desmonddf has more personal experience with horniness than constipation?

 

Meh. It's what my personal experience tells me. Unless you're very skinny (hunger) or has a case of diarrhea (poop), you will get erect instead of go for food or the bathroom :P

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I think people vary.  And the same person can vary over time depending on mood, hormones, environment -- so many things.  Sex can be a powerful motivator for sure but right now I could really go for a slice of chocolate cake.

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So you stab yourself in your own heart and then you say "Ow... That hurts... But... I might wanna do it again... I don't know... I'm not sure..."

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8 hours ago, Everything said:

So you stab yourself in your own heart and then you say "Ow... That hurts... But... I might wanna do it again... I don't know... I'm not sure..."

yup, but life can be lonely without a partner and mate.  There's comfort and security when you find the right one.  There's still a knife, but its duller and our skin is thicker. 

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8 minutes ago, thelerner said:

yup, but life can be lonely without a partner and mate.  There's comfort and security when you find the right one.  There's still a knife, but its duller and our skin is thicker. 

 

 

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