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DreamBliss

Valentine's Day Sucks!!!

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  • I know that Valentine's Day is a holiday likely created by the greeting card companies.
  • I know that the only power this holiday has over me and value it has to me is the power and value I give it.
  • I know that when I am attached to or identified with certain outcomes involving this holiday, it will cause suffering.

 

But still, the last time I got a legitimate Valentine's Day card was in grade school, and that was over 30 years ago! I wish I would have received even one card from someone even mildly interested in me. It would be nice to feel, just once, just for a moment, that I am desirable and that someone is interested in me.

 

But no, I get to continue life as half a person, incomplete, not whole. And I get to have spiritual teachers continually tell me that all I need to be happy is found inside. Can you hold hands with what's inside you? Can you have make love to or have sex with it? Is there any physical or tangible contact at all? No. So I call bullspit on that, at least as far as it pertains to human relationships.

 

Valentine's Day sucks! And I am still rooting for David Boreanaz's character in the movie Valentine...

Edited by DreamBliss

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If you imagine the most preferrable relationship you can imagine in this moment, How does that vision make you feel?

You are right now in that relationship, how does it make you feel? Can you describe it emotionally?

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5 minutes ago, Apech said:

How old are you?

Irrelevant.

 

3 minutes ago, Cheshire Cat said:

What's more important : to love or to be loved? 

Both at the same time.

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Old enough to know better, young enough not to care ;)

 

Apparently, we are all physical manifestations of Source Energy, and Source Energy, AKA God/Buddha/Allah et all is love. So ultimately we are all individual physical manifestations of love.

 

That said, when you squeeze a lemon, most of the time you will get lemon juice. The question is: when you "squeeze" a person, what exactly comes out? Ideally it would be love, but if that person has no love inside, meaning no love for themselves and as a result no love for others, no love will come out.

 

So you have to love yourself somehow, then you will have love to give others. Which logically would mean that to love is the most important thing. Whereas to be loved is, ultimately, irrelevant, as we could be the best version of ourselves possible and people could still hate us, or worse, not care we exist. We can't control the feelings and responses of others, and how someone feels about us is not our concern.

 

If we wait for others to love us, then we are going to be criticizing and judging them, and these things are not indicative of love. We have to somehow love ourselves first, entirely, without any holding back or reservations. Then we somehow have to learn to love others the same way. What they feel about is is irrelevant to our practice of being love to them. We love them independent of their feelings for us.

 

But I think I am speaking of ideals here. The goal to work towards, not the actual state most of us live in, including myself. And I am certainly not feeling very loving toward myself. I think what is coming out of me as I am being squeezed is closer to lemon juice - the sour juices of loneliness, pain, resentment and self-hatred.

Edited by DreamBliss
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38 minutes ago, DreamBliss said:

Old enough to know better, young enough not to care ;)

 

Apparently, we are all physical manifestations of Source Energy, and Source Energy, AKA God/Buddha/Allah et all is love. So ultimately we are all individual physical manifestations of love.

 

That said, when you squeeze a lemon, most of the time you will get lemon juice. The question is: when you "squeeze" a person, what exactly comes out? Ideally it would be love, but if that person has no love inside, meaning no love for themselves and as a result no love for others, no love will come out.

 

So you have to love yourself somehow, then you will have love to give others. Which logically would mean that to love is the most important thing. Whereas to be loved is, ultimately, irrelevant, as we could be the best version of ourselves possible and people could still hate us, or worse, not care we exist. We can't control the feelings and responses of others, and how someone feels about us is not our concern.

 

If we wait for others to love us, then we are going to be criticizing and judging them, and these things are not indicative of love. We have to somehow love ourselves first, entirely, without any holding back or reservations. Then we somehow have to learn to love others the same way. What they feel about is is irrelevant to our practice of being love to them. We love them independent of their feelings for us.

 

But I think I am speaking of ideals here. The goal to work towards, not the actual state most of us live in, including myself. And I am certainly not feeling very loving toward myself. I think what is coming out of me as I am being squeezed is closer to lemon juice - the sour juices of loneliness, pain, resentment and self-hatred.

Yeah but that is still irrelevant. 

You are too physically oriented, so you get stuck in your own web of thought, that doesn't necessarily have anything to do with your purpose in life here.

 

That's why I ask, how does the idea of being loved make you feel? Because that is the true indication and guidance you are receiving, directly from your Source. And that feeling, if you follow it in every single moment, whatever it might be, with dedicated focus, with absolutely zero expectation on the outcome but rather allow the universe show you what your highest joy can truely be even as you are imagining it for the purpose of feeling it more fully and moving towards it more fully, whatsoever. meaning, you submit fully to your highest truth and being, under any and all conditions, under every single condition every here and now moment of your life, at your highest most FULLEST capability! in this life, then you will attract all the experience, knowledge and wisdom you NEED to fulfill you evermore in your endeavours of living your highest joy and purpose in life.

 

But you have to be willing to give it your all, and show the universe atleast you are willing to do it! Then the universe will help you to do it! Sometimes, you have resistance, towards doing it, so show the universe, through your actions, ATLEAST IN SOME WAY that you are willing to follow your highest excitement, and focus on your true desire in every single waking moment of your life, and follow through with the actions that represent your highest excitement in the best possible way you can. For even if you fail to accomplish the ultimate goal, atleast do anything YOU CAN DO. Because that is and will forever be the only thing you ever need to do! Nothing more and nothing less!

 

But if you have not even come to the point of even clarifying your desires... Well, again, imagine what you do want. A connection with God? Then go live it as best you can. Imagine it, how does it feel, what do you see as you are connected to god. Go with it. Go fully for it. And if you are dissapointed by the live you see here, refocus! Reset your mind, allow the conditions of your life to help you know what it is you do want. Isn't that tremendously valuable? And simple and easy to do?

 

You go into a mall, you see many things you don't like, for example. You feel despair, at the meaninglessness of it all. So you think, where can I find true value then? And you imagine a beautiful open wide open space of heavenly nature and happy people. Then show the universe you deserve it, you are willing to believe, and take the first step! So you go outside in this scenario, and you find the heaven above you, beautiful clear open sky. And you allow that to be enough, because then you can find even more clear open beautiful space. And in no time, you're there, in the clear open beautiful sky. Where God is with everyone and everyone is happy. And you have the most amazing experience ever. Infact, you even connect with the people there on the most deep level possible. And all the life forms aswell. As all is this source of all creation. And so it all blesses you as your allowing yourself to be who you truely are blesses all of them aswell. So your excitement keeps getting more and more specific and poinyant.

 

Then you come to the place where it is so clear, that your desire is right in front of you, and now you feel fear. So ignore it, and do ANYTHING that you CAN do and that you ARE willing to do. Make an attempt to show your willingness at the very least to be willing to be who you truely are, even tho you doubt you deserve to be. Why? Because then the universe can show you why you DO deserve it!

 

Remember, if you make one step towards God, God always makes 10 or hundred more steps towards you. And know that your physical mind isn't designed to see the complete picture, or even to create the entire reality. Your imagination and thought mind only exist for the purpose of focusing between this or that amongst the contrasting variety. So as to come closer to your specific desire. In all of the freedom that you are evermore. You imagine for the purpose of feeling it, and thus then becoming a more specific antenna for receiving the reality you are summoning towards you by your willing to ACT on your highest joy and excitement and passion, that you have been capable of allowing yourself to feel through your imagination. And thus then you can continue to feel it ever so more fully, if you do the things and move towards that vision as best as you can in any way you CAN do it. Again, even the tiniest step, is the entire step. The first step, represents all the steps of the entire journey. It is literally that easy.

 

Only when you make it more difficult for yourself, by insisting it has to be, well, then, you just insist you don't deserve it, and the universe will just accept your choice and love you unconditionally and support you in all of your choices unconditionally evermore. You are so loved, you're allowed to believe that you're not loved. That doesn't mean you're not actually loved. But you have to be willing to take the first step in showing the universe you are now willing to allow yourself to be loved. By moving towards your preference. By feeling it more fully and thus then clarifying your identifying of it by moving ever so much more closer to it as best as you CAN do. So you might want to negotiate here and there with whatever resistance your fear mind has, to make compromises and continue further. But ideally, this will just again be another permission slip for you, as are all tools and techniques. And will just seperate you more fully from who it is you truely are. And evermore deserve to be the evermore becoming of. So you simply don't need it. Unless you insist.

 

In that case, I would say, make up your permission slips as you go. Invent your own on the go in every moment. Because your imagination is the most capable of inventing the most custom tailored permission slips that work the most best way specifically for you. So even then, you don't need anyone else to tell you how to be who it is you truely are ment to be evermore. And live the life that is the absolute most fulfilling life for YOU. And no one else.

Edited by Everything

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4 hours ago, DreamBliss said:

ut I think I am speaking of ideals here. The goal to work towards, not the actual state most of us live in, including myself

 

Shoot down his invitation please.

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7 hours ago, DreamBliss said:
  • I know that Valentine's Day is a holiday likely created by the greeting card companies.
  • I know that the only power this holiday has over me and value it has to me is the power and value I give it.
  • I know that when I am attached to or identified with certain outcomes involving this holiday, it will cause suffering.

 

But still, the last time I got a legitimate Valentine's Day card was in grade school, and that was over 30 years ago! I wish I would have received even one card from someone even mildly interested in me. It would be nice to feel, just once, just for a moment, that I am desirable and that someone is interested in me.

 

But no, I get to continue life as half a person, incomplete, not whole. And I get to have spiritual teachers continually tell me that all I need to be happy is found inside. Can you hold hands with what's inside you? Can you have make love to or have sex with it? Is there any physical or tangible contact at all? No. So I call bullspit on that, at least as far as it pertains to human relationships.

 

Valentine's Day sucks! And I am still rooting for David Boreanaz's character in the movie Valentine...

 

You also have spiritually teachers continually telling you that the Universe can provide you with all that your heart desires. And I don't mean that in any depreciative manner, in fact, I believe in this truth myself.

 

Did you ask yourself why that principle apparently is not working for you in this case?

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5 hours ago, Cheshire Cat said:

What's more important : to love or to be loved? 

 

Pizza.

Because eating a slice of good hot cheesy pizza, the question doesn't matter. 

 

 

I like Valentines day.  A chance to buy pizza and share it with the one you love.  In a world of commercial silly holidays, I give it a pass. 

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 6But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.7For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; 8And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. 9What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

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1 hour ago, rideforever said:

 6But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.7For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; 8And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. 9What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Interesting. So the father actually never had a say in it. Hmmm. 

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Culturally speaking, holidays have their own passion or pageantry... what's the longest holiday day off in the US... vs say, China ?   1 day vs weeks :rolleyes:   So, how can we really enjoy a holiday :P    

 

Anyways, I don't follow any cultural attachments to any holiday or celebrated time...  Never really have... So to keep to topic... I celebrated V-Day on Feb. 12 instead :huh:

 

That's the first day I meet my current wife and it is still more important than even our wedding day... which was a sleight of hand date change for another story.   If you marry in china... you don't really marry on the day you think you marry...  so how can you take it so seriously in the end anyways B)

 

So, as we already celebrated V-Day, I was invited on the 14th by a past, female co-worker who was visiting an area Conference if we were free to meet... my wife was suppose to work and so said I would just go... but my wife then decided she didn't want to work that day... but still told me to just go and spend time with my past co-worker on V-Day :unsure::wacko::blink::blush:

 

There is lots more to the story and background that would help explain all of this... but we now have a story that we will laugh about for many years.   Upon my return from my dinner... the first question she asked with a smile was, "How was your V-Day dinner ?"  :ph34r:  And she told me the past, co-worker called and they called for quite a while as I drove home.  They get along very well...  :wub:

 

I'd say, holidays/celebrations are holidays/celebrations as we are taught when young... and then we realize,  holidays/celebrations are not holidays/celebrations [when we detach from them]... and then later we find Holidays/Celebrations are Holidays/Celebrations.  :)   

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5 hours ago, rideforever said:

 6But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.7For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; 8And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. 9What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

 

Ah yes! The patriarchal system established by religion... My response to this? Give me FREE LOVE BABY!!!

Edited by DreamBliss

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5 hours ago, Fa Xin said:

It’s a little late, but...

 

DreamBliss will you be my Valentine?

 

Yes Fa Xin, I will be your Valentine!

 

... and if you are a dude, well, I will just consider that yet another life lesson.

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35 minutes ago, dawei said:

I'd say, holidays/celebrations are holidays/celebrations as we are taught when young... and then we realize,  holidays/celebrations are not holidays/celebrations [when we detach from them]... and then later we find Holidays/Celebrations are Holidays/Celebrations.  :)   

 

I have no idea why I am so attached to Valentine's Day. Maybe it hearkens back to when I was in grade school, and getting Valentine's Day cards from the girls (I had 3 girlfriends back then between the 2nd and 3rd grades.) So maybe I just miss the card?

 

Or maybe the card is a symbol that someone actually cares about me, a legitimate, tangible, piece of evidence that I actually do matter?

 

Or maybe I am a hopeless romantic with no romance in his life and that's the whole problem?

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29 minutes ago, DreamBliss said:

 

I have no idea why I am so attached to Valentine's Day. Maybe it hearkens back to when I was in grade school, and getting Valentine's Day cards from the girls (I had 3 girlfriends back then between the 2nd and 3rd grades.) So maybe I just miss the card?

 

Or maybe the card is a symbol that someone actually cares about me, a legitimate, tangible, piece of evidence that I actually do matter?

 

Or maybe I am a hopeless romantic with no romance in his life and that's the whole problem?

 

Does sounds like a DreamBliss :)

 

I heard a shock jock on the radio today talking about his most memorable V-Day card... he said in 5th (?) grade the girl of his dreams sent him one and since then, he has never received another... and is still single to this day...   Hopeful romantic seems ok, but hopeless romantic is another story. 

 

I see lots of terms and words used...  What is Feb. 15th to you ?   Not as romantic ... for what reason ?   Maybe accept that Feb. 14 is a day that many are sharing as romantically important... and then remember my story... we can cause any day we want V-Day, to our choosing...

 

Ok, seems shallow... I don't want you to give up the traditional V-Day as you think of it... just know others think differently.

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