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2ndchance

Are Men Lonely As Women? Are Spiritual Men Lonely?

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Just came across this topic in some other forum.. 

 

"dated a number of pretty young women during my younger days. a few of my past girlfriends also thought of marrying me but I was not ready- both financially and emotionally - to settle down back then. 

now that I am 35 and seriously planning to marry, it seems like my best days are over. there are still women who are interested in me, but they are usually over 30s and not very attractive.

The scenario is always the same. the pretty young women are usually taken and planning for marriage with their boyfriends by their late 20s/early 30s.

Those who are open to a relationship with me are either very matured (over 30), not very attractive or divorced with kids etc"

 

I like to ask those of you on the path if any of you feel as lonely as the dude above.

 

A lot of women find it hard to understand and accept that men can be just as lonely as women, perhaps even more lonely than women.

 

As a spiritual seeker, are you lonely?

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Gosh, I feel sorry for the poster.  I choose not to buy into his story but yes, loneliness has been a great trial for me. 

 

(If any chicks between the ages of 20-32 want to marry me, send me a PM. :D*)

 

*I'm serious

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The sense of loneliness is a byproduct of conscious awareness.  Physical gender expression of an organism has no bearing upon this phenomenon whatsoever.  Curiously,  the closer to 'enlightenment' one becomes, one is more keenly aware of this emotional state, and the reason for it.  Understanding may not be the cure, per se, but it does render the condition irrelevant.

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The only thing worse that being lonely is the rationalization that human life and sexuality is meaningless.

 

Anyway .... what did Socrates say about difficult wives being good for making you wise ?   Or that crazy women are good for a horsemaster to hone his craft.

 

One thing I see is that older women often have kids and want you to be their dad.  Meanwhile the real dad turns up and creates havoc, and you are basically required to parent everyone in this picture.

 

Maybe just a lack of faith and straightness is the problem.   The p**** goes in the v******.   Why make it more complicated ?   What it's about is about sharing the masculine feminine energy, is there anything else ... pretty but stupid faces you get bored of quickly.

 

Really intelligent and good looking women ... aren't good in bed, in my experience, they are still trying to be perfect.   On the other hand most humans are completely insane, and there are about 50 personalities inside there, so what to say.

 

Man must become more man to attract more women, that' s another thing.   These days neither man nor women gets beyond about 8years old, after they discover Amazon and netflix.

 

Who knows anyway.  Maybe I have got problems.

Edited by rideforever
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30 minutes ago, rideforever said:

Who knows anyway.  Maybe I have got problems.

wow. you kids now days!  not picking on anyone in particular, but holy cow!

For one thing the original question about "spiritual people"  is a bit odd.  I don't know what a "spiritual person" is,  but I can tell young folks that it is not difficult to meet other people , and have relationships.

Just be yourself.  don't try to project an image of who you think you want to be. relax.  go to a gym work out, smile at folks say hello.

find a club or organization where you meet folks who have the same interest you do.  Don't take yourself to seriously, learn to laugh at yourself.  (I know I am)  :)  .  Oh, and don't blame "spirituality or your advance state of evolution"  for not being able to get laid........

and lastly, for god's sake, stop over thinking everything,  (gentle smack up side the head)  . good luck all

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Get outside, make connections, make friends. Doesn’t have to be sexual to be intimate. Share yourself with people, who cares if they return it. Learn to open up and the boundaries that make you feel lonely will fall away. 

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2 hours ago, 2ndchance said:

(...) 

As a spiritual seeker, are you lonely?

 

People crave love, pursue sex and rarely understand how to rely on the latter to get the former. 

 

A spiritual seeker feels lonely by definition. 

Edited by Cheshire Cat
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3 hours ago, 2ndchance said:

now that I am 35 and seriously planning to marry, it seems like my best days are over. there are still women who are interested in me, but they are usually over 30s and not very attractive.

 

Nothin ‘spiritual’ about this equation.

 

He’s judging women over 30 to be less good looking and unworthy. And they’re judging him to be less eligible for a lasting relationship (no surprise there). Both are shallow people stuck in shallow preferences. 

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Spiritual heterosexual men have it more easy than non-spiritual men. I believe if you are serious about spirituality you naturally attract mates.

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Happily married so, no.

wife stops staring at screen.

 

finally i can write the truth.. kidding.

 

With the OP letter I notice he's 35 and is complaining that woman interested in him "..are either very matured (over 30), not very attractive.."  So.. he's looking for a hot 20 something year old, who's not particularly mature.  

actually I see Freeform made this comment first. 

 

 Are men as lonely as woman? 

Interesting question.   Probably?   I don't know the dating scene of the last few decades, but it seems to me less interactive and more computer hook ups.  People work long hours.  There's a commercialism to spending time, ie 'Can one Do Betterism' that is very corrosive to modern dating and friendships. 

 

Are spiritual men lonelier?

hmm, they could be a relatively nerdy bunch.  Not the most outgoing, though its probably too stereotyping.  With myself as an example, I dated less, but found someone great, which makes the oft tedious dating process and periods of loneliness worth it.   

 

 

 

 

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I`ll join the chorus of voices (Freeform, Thelerner) who noticed that the lonely man quoted in the OP is a 35 year old man unwilling to consider woman close to his own age.  You gotta wonder about these "spiritual" men who insist on dating twentysomethings, even as they themselves hit the threshhold of middle age.  

 

Male or female, young or old, there are a lot of lonely people out there.  To me, true spirituality is about coming home to oneself.  It`s about finding a spacious acceptance of one`s human foibles and loving warmth -- on the inside.  Feeling complete within oneself, a person naturally  finds the prospect of an intimate relationship with someone else less harrowing.  There`s less desperation, less conflict...less lonliness.

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