thelerner

Which way to the Good Life?

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The good life.. how would you define it? 

What's needed to get it?  What actions... things.. practices?

or is it the wrong question?

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Yeah, sounds like a easy question that will get as many answers as there are people here. The good life for me would only be judged by my laying on my death bed and looking back. I don't really live in the moment. I am an INTJ and I am always planning for the future. If I were to really focus on the present the good life would be no bills, a circle of great friends and enough free time to play and seek Tao with passion(or dispassion?). I like the simple things.

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58 minutes ago, thelerner said:

The good life.. how would you define it? 

What's needed to get it?  What actions... things.. practices?

or is it the wrong question?

 

In my youth it was doing work I was passionate about, making a good living doing it, enjoying the benefits of that.

 

As I got caught up in the rat race, many bubbles were popped. I realized that "good" was certainly not what I expected it to be. The stress of life in general, people lying, stealing, mistreating each other and you. The greed, the awful life of the daily grind, the diseases and back stabbing...

 

I carved my own way, had a few of my own business ventures, some very successful....

 

I spent many years helping people and caring for the sick. I had a good position in a rehab clinic. That was a good life.

 

Then I almost died, and everyone around just let me fall, and fall hard. I lost everything. I fought my way back, limping away, but just barely got back to the daily grind struggling to survive. Then I got death sick, lost 40 lbs, prepared myself for death and dropped everything.

I slowly recovered somewhat, but never really did. Still no help, still everyone dropped me like I didn't exist. What I thought were friends drifted away. Financial places I had made rich for years dropped me like I was nobody. I realized that none of the help organizations I had donated to over the years really do anything to help most people, just a select few, and I wasn't one of them.

 

I realized that the good life is having people around you that will help you and care for you, as you would for them, no matter what. And not those people who say they will, but don't when the time comes.

You can buy some of those people with money. So having money can help. But when it runs dry... you will be screwed. So it has to be way more than you think you will ever need, and tied up so that it takes care of you like a trust fund.

 

The good life was certainly not in how much material things I had. They are a form of stress, you have to care for "things" and belongings, you have to insure things, you have to watch them because people will steal things. 

 

So there, the good life is not to have anything that anyone would want to steal. Having nothing that you can't replace.

 

The good life is certainly not that woman or man companion or mate that says they are loyal and true, and then they bring home Syphilis because they are a lying whore to your face. So there the good life would be people that you can trust and that are loyal and loving.

 

The good life would be children that love you and help you as much as you love and help them. Not the ones that never call if you can't buy them a new car this year. Not the ones that think they are entitled to things.

 

So, now the good life is a comfortable chair, a tasty meal, fresh air, children playing in the park that make me smile, a day without so much pain, a good book, a good movie, a great conversation, veggies growing in the garden, that new flower, reaching that level of meditation that resonates deep to inner peace, relaxation, a hug from a dear friend, the smell of fresh cut wood, the smell of pine trees, and so much more. 

 

You will know the good life, it makes you smile, it gives you no regrets, it is simple, stress-free, and certainly not part of this insanity the media and marketplace tries to pass off as normal or worthwhile. It is certainly not the sex they sell, or all the "goods" or fancy stuff, no BOGO deals in good life.

 

Whatever drains you is not the good life. Whatever takes from you without even tempering your spirit, is not the good life. Helping others is sometimes the good life, if you are cut out for that. It is different for everyone, and time will show you what is, and what isn't important for your own good life.

 

For Hitler, a good life would have been selling some of his art and becoming a famous artist. Instead, nobody bought his art. He ended up bitter and cruel, hating everything that wasn't part of his good life plan. 

 

I doubt that Gandhi and Nelson Mandela would call the life they had, good. Yet for most of us, they did a good life.

 

My humble opinions and life experience...

 

Stay fluid

 

 

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The good life includes being at peace with the world and content with what is.

Been there done that, only to be distracted / forgetful until I return to that sense of peaceful contentment.

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Yeah, "The good life" is a subjective concept, isn't it?

 

I stand with cold regarding his response above.  Peace and Contentment.  What more can I say?

 

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The good life is when during the most crucial moment or period of your life you receive guidance and instructions from your spirit guides or from the "immortals."  As a result, you can make life changing decisions that would create less impact or no impact on your karma....or just karma in general. 

 

The worst type of life is when you are spiraling down into an endless descent into the pits of karma...seeing nothing ending in sight....because you made the wrong decision and wrong choice early on.    

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1 hour ago, Apeiron&Peiron said:

I honestly don't know.

 

There was a time when I liked the Stoic idea of a "good flow of life" that Zeno described. Where there would be a smooth transition in all things because the passions were restrained and the mind was unfettered.

 

I still consider that to be a good thing. But I don't know if it is the same as "the good life"---it's just a good thing in life.

 

My natural disposition is to regard the good life as something that approaches optimization. Since Zeno's "good flow of life" was the optimization of something, it was a sort of stand-in concept for me. But, when I want to consider optimization, it is tough. There are many ways of approaching optimization. Lots of people like to discuss it in a piecemeal way---where different particular things are optimized but there is a general disorder and choppiness with how the different particular things are managed.

 

In any case, this could go in many directions. My own thoughts, though, were teleological and normative in nature. The stuff of "what is it that I should be doing?". 

 

This was never a focal point in my thoughts (since I have always been more practical and immediate with my concerns) but it has been looming in the background for a while. And, over the years, I'm finding that a blend of Thomas Aquinas' idea that God is the source and end goal of human life, and Taoist Alchemy is the anatomical description of the process by which humans can return to God----these things, to me, help to outline the purpose of human life. It is an optimization of everything on every level while always having a unique expression through the degrees of freedom that are present on each level. 

 

But, in short, the good life (to me) is one where a person refines themselves to a point where they can maintain their individuality and also be purified enough to merit the stuff of Heaven when they pass from this life.

 

---I am likely a minority in holding this belief, though.

 

The part bolded by me resonates deeply with me. Thanks!

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The two themes I'm hearing the most are circle of friends and 'being at peace with the world and content with what is' (from Cold).   Much truth in both.

 

Yet, so often looking from our ideas to how we spend out time there's a disconnect.  We know friends/family are important yet too often put our relationships on autopilot, and sadly stop making new ones.  Same with being content with what Is.  We say it, but we don't enjoy the common things in life, forget to notice them, forget to enjoy them.  Our thoughts dwell in the future or on the negative, or just bland nonawareness. 

 

Effort and awareness are needed to pull us out of these slumps that degrade our precious lives. 

 

 

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My grandfather had a few truths :

1. Don't trust anyone who doesn't trust you.

 

2. If ones lucky you will have one true friend, the others will fall off when the going gets tough.

 

(I am blessed with two people I cherish as friends and we talk as often as once a week to once every few months and it as if we were next door neighbors instead of living hundreds and thousands of miles apart.)

Even in my family (and we are close having a family business we are all or were a part of) I am often the odd man out I don't share the same values with too many people.

 

3. Stand for something ( live your values ) even if it is difficult.

 

4. Do what you say you will do.

 

5. Be nice, kindness costs next to nothing.

 

And I agree effort and awareness are required!

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16 hours ago, thelerner said:

The good life.. how would you define it? 

What's needed to get it?  What actions... things.. practices?

or is it the wrong question?

 

Well, that has to be my 'good life'  .   I define it by not being part of the slave system, having more time to appreciate living and joys of life, rather than working. Having access to the things I want to experience. being satisfied and comfortable, so I dont have to expend too much energy on staying alive, working, etc.  A nice clean environment, with a lot of diversity ...  comfort  yet stimulation without boredom .   And opportunities to explore and enact my Will and purpose in creative enterprises.  A good connection with nature.

 

Determination is needed to get it. It also depends on where you are and your situation.  A  very cold environment with little natural food about is going to make it hard ... but when you can sleep on the beach and there are mango trees   :)    - right place, right time, right people, right actions.  ... and you gotta be the right person, in yourself.

 

What are the actions ?  That's complex. The biggest peace fulfilment contentment satisfaction excitement comes from expressing your 'true will' - your essential spirit ( nature purpose, individual genius, reason for incarnation ) ;  there are ways to explore and find this if one does know, so I suppose those are the actions .  Also, you just gotta bite the bullet and do it at the right time.

 

Before I moved to my present location from the city, I had a   friend who agreed with me we would get out and live such a life, he was waiting to save just a bit more money. I got sick of that and just did it , regardless of circumstance .  Now, I got 'all this' .  he is still in the city, working his butt off, big mortgage, occasionally rings me up and tells me how mad and frustrating it is for him. Its too late for him now - he cant leave  !    He became a 'slow boiled frog' .

 

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1 hour ago, Nungali said:

 

Well, that has to be my 'good life'  .  

 

Although I`m nobody`s idea of a good life poster child, I occasionally engage in salubrious and uplifting pursuits.  The eve of New Years eve seems a fitting moment to list a few for contemplation, so here goes...

 

emails to my mom every morning

 

cajoling my reclusive partner out into the sunshine every afternoon

 

looking up words I don`t know the meaning of in the dictionary

 

eating oysters on the street

 

appreciating the cumulative effect of small positive changes

 

thinking about the good qualities of other people in my life (including other Bums) and occasionally offering compliments

 

going for long walks, both urban and rural, with my pedometer in my pocket

 

collecting words I like (higgledy-piggledy, razzle-dazzle, frittata)

 

reading about the paleo diet at a cafe while scarfing down a hamburger and fries

 

realizing the truth of my pal Gary`s favorite line: we live in contradiction

 

imagining the vengence I`ll take on my enemies

 

being aware of what makes other people in my life happy and encouraging them to do more of those things

 

lattes

 

going to workshops, seminars and retreats -- chi nei tsang, kunlun, healing tao, sundo, vipassana

 

believing, at least some of the time, that I`m good enough just as I am

 

 

 

 

   

Edited by liminal_luke
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Liminal reminds me that so much of the good life is knowing what makes you smile and doing it.  A simple truth we forget. 

 

A second thing is, that many of the best things in life start off hard, take initial effort.  Aren't fun at first, requiring time and effort.  But once over that hump are the good things, be it playing an instrument, learning a new skill or sport, or trying to make a new friend. 

 

So the good life also requires pursuing the hard.. at times.

 

I like contrasts, hitting highs and lows.  When I travel I like cheap places but also to visit (maybe not stay in) the best and most expensive place town.  To hit the dive bars and honky tonks but also terraced roof bars; gawking at $100 cocktail drinks and ordering a beer or coffee. 

 

I like finding a great TV series (GoT, Stranger Things..) and watching it twice, preferably with a friend. 

Edited by thelerner
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First of all, a good life is connected with good health.
 "Good live" it is to be interact with the outside world harmoniously, and have ability to discover something new every day.  

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I might not discover something new everyday, but sure as honey is sweet, i will try to be more appreciative of the old. 

 

To live a good life, take nothing for granted... conditions of balance are always more fragile than we care to remember. Existence can tip over into nonexistence, on all levels, in the blink of an eye. 

A normal day has little insurance, even less so for the take-for-granters. 

Death creeps unbeknownst - Stealth shall be its name - the mysterious shadow that stalks the living. 

 

So, wait not... Live.

Indulge the intimacy of each breath.

To be alive...

...is a good life. 

 

Edited by C T
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24 minutes ago, silent thunder said:

which way?

the

wei wu wei

You say wu wei

  I say no way

 

I'm hoping for some action in 2018. 

2019 will be my wu wei year. 

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I believe happiness on Earth is much like Heaven: it is more of a mental state than a physical one. Aren't most of us happiest when we search for Truth, find it, and then follow it? Aren't we least happy when we abandon the good resolve to follow good and virtuous ways of being as part of that Truth? 

 

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On 12/29/2017 at 6:52 PM, thelerner said:

The good life.. how would you define it? 

What's needed to get it?  What actions... things.. practices?

or is it the wrong question?

 

The good life... how would you define it?

I think anything good or beautiful to such a level of awe can't be defined because by the very definition of labeling muddies the experience.

As a generalization of the good life, perhaps the realization of self.

 

 

What's needed to get it?

I think among many states of minds, one that would lead to a good life is a sense of being fearless.


Fearless in not giving a hoot to what people think of you or how society judges

Fearless in embracing every challenge as an opportunity to grow

Fearless to be yourself and go with your "gut" or "inner charm, voice"

Fearless in trying new things whether its travel, hobbies, work, relationships

Fearless in surrendering the ego, the thought and life forms you built for yourself

Fearless in letting go of your comfort zones and restrictions towards realization

Fearless in your path towards awakening

 

 

 

 

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9 hours ago, falcon said:

Fearless in surrendering the ego, the thought and life forms you built for yourself

As I have mentioned before, this one is still a work in progress for me but all the others seem to be valid.

 

I do speak of fear occasionally.  We should try to eliminate fear from our constitution but we shouldn't try to over-ride our instincts of fight or flight.  Even today these instincts serve a useful purpose.  

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As "existence" is doing everything, learning how to listen to its messages and learn its lessons and participate and co-operate and flow with the growing light of the existence .... this leads to a good and worthy life.
Otherwise you are living separately trying to feather your nest, but it has only limited value, in the end.
Most humans are safeguarding themselves, but it ends up being chaining yourself to the deck of the Titanic.
Some days we become, some days we surrender.   
Together this forms a channel.

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