Owledge

Turd eye opening

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I see so much bullshit.

I'm wondering whether you can have a healthy relationship with someone you know you cannot trust, or whether you would have to become a selfish manipulator who disrespects but exploits them, which very much seems bad. Just not interact with such people? Who has that luxury?! There can be enough around to end every little smile you might manage.

 

Related topic: Servitude to inner demons. You know many of the people you encounter would murder you in your sleep if not doing it would exceed their normal tolerance for inconvenience. How could you ever unsee that?

 

Awareness as literally a dis-ease.

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Personally, my perspective changed when it dawned on me that everyone I encounter is damaged, including me.

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4 minutes ago, Brian said:

Personally, my perspective changed when it dawned on me that everyone I encounter is damaged, including me.

 

yes Brian clearly you are damaged :)

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5 minutes ago, Apech said:

 

yes Brian clearly you are damaged :)

Especially me.

 

Thank for noticing!

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20 minutes ago, Brian said:

Personally, my perspective changed when it dawned on me that everyone I encounter is damaged, including me.

Eventually it dawned on me that I wasn't so much damaged as suffering under the resistance to all the damage around me and that damaged people had with partial success, due to emotional peer pressure and psycho games, convinced me that I am the one with the problem, the bad person. I used to be quite aware of that, but more recently had forgotten that I was. I realized I've always been a bright kid and that my misery had grown on the contempt I had for so many people around me based on the things I saw in them and an inability to integrate that stuff into my being. (It seeped in to some degree, but that was minor.)

People called me an egotist, when I was just observing and adapting. They had learned the bullshit game easily while I was practicing the egotism necessary in such an environment without a bullshit facade, and that made me appear not only as a competitor to them, but as an easily attackable competitor. Collectively shunned for refusing to become a phony and for seeing their game.

 

P.S.: Bloody hell! This forum has those stupid round avatars now, too?! (I could write an essay on all the dumb things web design is spawning.) The Dao Bums destroyed my howly octagon.

Give it some more years and forum posts will be wrapped in speech bubbles.

This is what uncreative people do when they're bored.

... This is actually a good side topic, another example, of how difficult it is to live when stuff gets more insane and messed up. It's just one small thing in a whole line. (Algorithmic auto-fill of black bars in videos is another insanity.)

Edited by Owledge
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Hey Owledge,

 

Where did all that doubt and negativity come from?

 

Is it possible to live without opinion?

 

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18 minutes ago, Owledge said:

Eventually it dawned on me that I wasn't so much damaged as suffering under the resistance to all the damage around me and that damaged people had with partial success, due to emotional peer pressure and psycho games, convinced me that I am the one with the problem, the bad person. I used to be quite aware of that, but more recently had forgotten that I was. I realized I've always been a bright kid and that my misery had grown on the contempt I had for so many people around me based on the things I saw in them and an inability to integrate that stuff into my being. (It seeped in to some degree, but that was minor.)

People called me an egotist, when I was just observing and adapting. They had learned the bullshit game easily while I was practicing the egotism necessary in such an environment without a bullshit facade, and that made me appear not only as a competitor to them, but as an easily attackable competitor. Collectively shunned for refusing to become a phony and for seeing their game.

 

P.S.: Bloody hell! This forum has those stupid round avatars now, too?! (I could write an essay on all the dumb things web design is spawning.) The Dao Bums destroyed my howly octagon.

Give it some more years and forum posts will be wrapped in speech bubbles.

This is what uncreative people do when they're bored.

... This is actually a good side topic, another example, of how difficult it is to live when stuff gets more insane and messed up. It's just one small thing in a whole line. (Algorithmic auto-fill of black bars in videos is another insanity.)

I find observation -- just people-watching -- to be an instructive and entertaining pastime but it is only instructive when I retain awareness of my own flaws.

 

You owlsome octagon is still there, merely circumscribed...

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Catchy title there.  Awareness and awakening are not all a bed of roses.  The benefits come with an equal level of burden,  I think it's safe to say that all benefits come with burdens.   The burden in the case you speak of is having to deal with people who are so broken emotionally, that's the task.  When you become super psychic or super empathic the same thing happens in a different way.

 

These days the government is doing a fantastic job of messing people up so it is way worse now than normal.  As an example, my teacher did a certain practice which made him super psychic, and he told me that it was like being tuned into a news radio station 24 hours a day, and that 99% of the news was bad.  He didn't like it and tried to turn it off but couldn't.

 

The burden of awareness of all the turdliness is what can lead to growth.

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6 minutes ago, Brian said:

 

You owlsome octagon is still there, merely circumscribed...

And not as dramatic as circumcision.

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6 minutes ago, Starjumper said:

I think it's safe to say that all benefits come with burdens.   

 

Yep.  Cost/benefit analysis.  I didn't do too well with that during my younger years.

 

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38 minutes ago, Marblehead said:

Hey Owledge,

 

Where did all that doubt and negativity come from?

 

Is it possible to live without opinion?

 

Negativity: Weak upside to strengthen against the downers, thus left with trying to curb the negative influences on me, since I see how they're growing. The negativity is all there. If I had a stronger upside I'd probably just pay less attention to them, like so many others in blissful ignorance. That selfishness kinda pains me, too, because it creates suffering. I respond well to positive influences, but even there I've often ran into ugliness. If the pleasant stuff is all just makebelief, then people are cowering in a corner, praying for the demons to go away, which instead invites them in.

Doubt: I have strong confidence in my abilities. I don't have confidence in the world; based on experiences. I tried to see things differently, but that only provided more confirmation, painfully. I find myself unable to walk a path that in the past has already caused misery to me. I could explain it with being tuned to a certain high frequency on which I can accomplish great things, but below that not much is happening. Or a race car engine: Needs high octane fuel to run without damaging itself, but then able to win races.

What's especially disheartening me is seeing just how many people buy into a competitive slave machinery instead of living cooperation. Game theory is not a new thing, but few seem willing to practice it. It's so much easier to be afraid and to use that as motivation/justification to feed on others.

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3 minutes ago, Owledge said:

Negativity: 

 

Doubt: 

Well defined response.

 

Could it be you are taking life too seriously?

 

The lion does not lay down with the lamb.  The lion eats the lamb.  Tzujan - natural processes.

 

Cooperation is a "give and take" thing.  Cost/benefit.  What's in it for me?

 

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1 hour ago, Marblehead said:

Well defined response.

 

Could it be you are taking life too seriously?

 

The lion does not lay down with the lamb.  The lion eats the lamb.  Tzujan - natural processes.

 

Cooperation is a "give and take" thing.  Cost/benefit.  What's in it for me?

 

People are too stupid to see how their selfishness harms others and themselves while cooperation would benefit others and themselves. It is because they conveniently give into fear and fear makes stupid. (And intelligence without social intelligence is crippled.)

People tend to take life seriously if they experience/witness misery. Must be that stupid self-preservation thing. What you call lions may be hyenas. Actually treat them like lions and see them seek refuge among lambs.

 

I am subject to harmful influences by people who refuse to wisen up, and those influences impair my ability to function and to have any hope of removing myself from them. I realize that in order to handle that, one would have to harden and then would start hurting others.

Such influences can be like a suppression field. Removed temporarily, the difference is gigantic, but without cumulative impact lost when the influence returns.

Edited by Owledge

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Sometimes we have to forget about the way things are for a bit, and just focus on what we enjoy in life. The feelings we cultivate in each moment have their consequences later on - it is not a positive path of cultivation to focus on how horrible other people are, even if we've become acutely aware of how true it is.

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Is it sad that you have become disillusioned with your fellow man? It simply means that you are now rid of illusion and are possibly closer to seeing things as they really are.

This can appear pretty damn awful but it is only an intermediate stage. Beyond this comes the point where you are no longer affected by others for you have become imperturbable. To be able to suffer the company of ones fellow man is the true mark of the master.

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25 minutes ago, Aetherous said:

Sometimes we have to forget about the way things are for a bit, and just focus on what we enjoy in life. The feelings we cultivate in each moment have their consequences later on - it is not a positive path of cultivation to focus on how horrible other people are, even if we've become acutely aware of how true it is.

"Sometimes" "for a bit". When that works, when cultivating positive feelings, the 'reward' usually comes swiftly: Heart opens, gets stabbed by miserable people ordered by their inner demons to fight such an expression of happiness whose contrast causes them discomfort. The presence of weak character is not some theoretical imaginary or purely perceptional stuff. It comes with solid actions. Be surrounded by such company and you might die by a thousand (or sometimes much less) cuts.

 

Why do you think depression is an epidemic? ... Because depression is the last remaining option when neither fight nor flight are available. And that situation is the growing problem. People go into hibernation mode on emergency battery power and when that depletes, they die. In that state often only active skillful external influences can turn things around. If those are absent, one can only hope for some spontaneous spiritual breakthrough, but that's not common. And when such a person dies, everybody who participates in creating those conditions is a little bit of a murderer.

Edited by Owledge
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You can always move away from the crowds like practitioners who go live on the mountain to get away from it and practice in peace, this is common.  In my practice I got to a point where I got a really strong desire to live in nature far away from people.  Later that feeling subsided a but I ended up running for the hills anyway, more as a survival tactic.

 

The ideal way it works is you escape society to practice and then later you can return to society to see how well your practice worked.  I think that's called 'returning to the market' or 'the sage returns to the market' (to raise hell?)  Or something like that.

 

 

 

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Speaking of my experiences I had times where my awareness got to the point where especially the most aggressive, intolerant humans appeared the most vulnerable, as they try with every strength to deny their true self which is (and this sounds a bit corny) - love. We are all playing our roles but sooner or later, may it be in this lifetime or another, we will come to the conclusion that everything is totally fine how it is and how it was. Life is experience, life is learning. And for experiencing and learning we life in a world full of duality, the question is which side of this duality do you want to pay attention to?

There are as many realities as there are people and in my opinion the sign of true awareness is to see beyond your personal reality, because personal reality is the only reality you are ever able to receive. But ones you look beyond it life is just a pool of endless possibilities which gives you the freedom to choose the one you prefer, every single moment.

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20 minutes ago, Starjumper said:

You can always move away from the crowds like practitioners who go live on the mountain to get away from it and practice in peace, this is common.  In my practice I got to a point where I got a really strong desire to live in nature far away from people.  Later that feeling subsided a but I ended up running for the hills anyway, more as a survival tactic.

 

The ideal way it works is you escape society to practice and then later you can return to society to see how well your practice worked.  I think that's called 'returning to the market' or 'the sage returns to the market' (to raise hell?)  Or something like that.

Thing is, I don't feel drawn towards secluded nature (which might be relatively affordable but come with downsides), but just to have a realm where I can run things my way and recharge my batteries and be uninhibited, so that I can interact with society from that place of having my basic spiritual needs met. But that can be totally out of reach. And any compromise of those needs quickly leads to a situation where I would merely exchange problems and end up investing considerable resources to be, in total, no better off. I did that in the past, and with each attempt all my resources got drained further. The new things I learn on such paths usually make things even harder. (Maybe not even really new things; more like more painful reminders.)

 

Oh an ayahuasca told me I shouldn't take it anymore because that was part of believing something is wrong with me and keeping that self-defeating reality alive. I dunno, maybe this is the ultimate advice the brew can give anyone eventually. Kinda seemed like that. But hey, you can only trust that stuff as far as you can trust yourself, right? Hah.

Edited by Owledge
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So far you have shown that you are tuned into the frequency of used cigarette butts - a very small and fetid frequency. It makes you bigger and everything else smaller. You are stuck on what you have explained here as your biggest gripes. You are in resistance to the cigarette butt part of life - a very small frequency - though one that is in vogue everywhere it seems just now.

 

Turd Awareness - Cigarette Butt Awareness - you are dwelling in petty stuff and feeling pretty proud about it (though you are playing the sufferer of fools - you are the sufferer of fools in the illusions you have from the resistance you so love and cherish.

 

Pretty harsh but not.

You are IN your resistance - it is not born of Awareness - it is born of ignorance, willfulness, mangled sight - set in past and wild futures, peaks and troughs but no firmness in being.

 

Judge away - sit in a few stewed frequencies and belch bong water - have at it.

 

When you are ready get down on your knees and puke this crap out and wash your eyes - such a tiny view - such narrow frequency range - such extreme otherness is in need of puking up. Take a walk in the trees - breath. 

 

Ask the trees why why you are not mad at them, pissing on them, in resistance to them for "feeding" on "your" world. They have ticks hiding in them, worms in their bark - they take your sun away, make ripples in the earth, obstruct your walk, put green garbage all over the beautiful grass, break and feed fires - birds sit in them and shit on you. 

 

In fact ask why you are not mad at the earth for supporting the feet of those that walk on it - the "assholes" you are afixed upon - the slim that courses upon its surface. 

 

Puke up this tiny fixed set of frequencies you have mounted to your back and screwed into your eyes - this is not third eye - it is indeed turd eye - you see its smell in everything - like someone wearing gloves and a mask for fear of the germs they see in everything. Are they insightful? Are they breaking through the illusion?

 

Take a cold shower - a dreep breath - find some space from the "heroic sufferer of fools" that is becoming your story. Investing yourself in being a Judgement Jockey can make for a colorful personality - and you can become like a brick in it - super solid and hard edged - oh so "manly". Of course believing in that shit has the smell and sight of turd.

Edited by Spotless
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@Spotless

Seeing that you allow yourself such detailed judgments without having seen more than in this thread, you should consider there might be projection from you. It's a lot of preachy clichée talk, but what you don't know is that I drove myself into despair and exhaustion over wanting to purge all that crap until ayahuasca asked me how long I want to continue creating stuff to purge by believing there is more.

Life has given me consistent lessons about false modesty and how it was induced. (Does that make you uncomfortable? Caring for such was slapped out of me. Everybody has a different path to balance.) My moving into higher frequencies backfired. The whole reason I am where I am is because of what came before, what happened. Bad things happen to good people. Your view is quite convenient by being blame/judgment-based, too.

Comparing influences from trees to influences from people is kinda disregarding the differences, those very differences that create problems.

Being caught between a rock and a hard place is a thing.

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For the sake of analysis, I like to divide bullshit into two piles: my own and other people`s.  Other people`s I can`t do much about.  Oh, I`ve made my complaints: I`ve stomped my feet and raised my voice; I`ve felt disgusted and contemptuous and superior and I`ve let people know just how much.  And did said bullshitters clean up their act?  No, they did not. (Well, sometimes a little but never in a timely manner nor to my satisfaction.)  Errrr!

 

My own bullshit, on the other hand, is my castle.  I`m king of my bullshit and what I say goes.  If I want to get rid of it, it`s entirely within my power -- though not easy -- to do so.

 

   

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No matter the cards we have been dealt with currently.. It's all part of a story that is subject to change, including point of view of that scenery.. See it all as it is now, then trust it will move along as well too..

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When we spend too much time worrying or focusing on what others are doing, we tend to lose sight of ourselves and our own actions.

 

Stop being a duck, stop giving a quack about what others are doing and maintain more focus on yourself and your impact on those and the environment around you.

 

Become an example...

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beautiful conversation, thank you

it's like me and me talking to me, but via you guys:) 

 

-bullshit, this world is f*cked up, let's get on a different bus!

-of course you would...but this is not why we are here for. Train your mind so it does not effect you. 

 

(observes mind in RL ( i.e. outside meditation) and is surprised at how much stuff is there. Humans are the most fascinating subject from energy perspective. Hopes that radio has also positive music on. There is no balance right now in the world, too much dark crap ( see nice post above about depression rates)

 

meow

 

giphy.gif

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