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Yinja

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Hello,

 

In this post I’d like to share with you some background and some of the symptoms im dealing with currently, hoping you might be able to shed light on the situation and perhaps advice me, if you’re kind enough. Im trying my best to make it arranged and clear as possible, but still used some terms I cant claim to “know” meant only to describe better what im feeling along with some fancy words in English I hope I used right, so goes for punctuation. Thank you for understanding.

 

A year or so ago I had an incident with some “bad water” (acid/lsd).  I had what later turned out to be panic attacks and anxiety. I became very sensitive to the environment all of that because apparently I got somewhere I wasn’t ready for.

 

Half a year after while the sensitivity gradually went off with time, I became the opposite . I couldn’t sense the area between my LDT to my MDT I became numb and reality and every experience penetrated to me a lot less. Spontaneity and creativity faded and i had a hard time making decisions and engaging with life. (Perhaps a defence mechanism of the body?)  

 

Today im being treated with acupuncture and been given herbs extract. The treatment is doing wonders on me, and I get energy, sensitivity back and my aliveness in general  but it seems that its taking me to where I was before. when I get a bit too lively with a high level of qi I get the feeling of anxiety before a coming panic attack but in a manageable dose that allows me to stay calm so im not worried, also I have a lot of almost constant pressure in my neck and head which bothers me quite a bit since it seems to prevent my healing.

 

While im meditating the tension often builds up in the neck head and 3rd eye area and it rarely lessens and sometimes it even ends my session. One way I’ve found to relief the pressure is to push it out the 3rd eye area, my only concern is that it dosnt feel right to force anything, but its almost tempting me and after I do there is a noticeable relief and some bliss enters. Im not doing any kind of Qigong Yoga etc.

 

I will organise a few questions but feel free to make any comment about anything related to this post.

 

My questions:

 

* I’d like to hear an ideas on how to relief the pressure from my neck/head and as well if you think tunnelling energy through the 3rd eye area as mentioned is legitimate?

*How can I connect back with my LDT and MTD and what might be the cause of this numbness?

*What can cause the anxiety I feel when I meet high levels of energy and what can be done?                                                  

*Is over sensitivity is a place to aim for? Or is it an unbalanced polar? (im not talking about being flooded with emotions)

 

Here is a fuller list of symptoms im having if it helps in any way:

 

*Frequent changes in sight (can be extremely vivid and depth seems to have a new quality to it for a few days and sort of distorted and not as clear a few days after and sometimes somewhere in between.                                                                                                                

 

*Horrible stink from my arm pits (especially the right one :3) not necessarily with actual sweat.                                             

*Building pressure and dizziness while looking at screens after a short while                                                                                           

*Building pressure if not maintaining a correct body posture (when I bend my head to read and such)                                                                                                                                               *Not able to think clear enough or to be focused and having bad memory                                                                                                                              

*Not having a lot of thoughts while meditating (I thought it was a good thing when the voices in my head faded gradually but I cant be sure)                                                                                                                                     

*Constant but very faded pain in the lower belly                                                                                                                                            

*I was able to feel a lot in other people mostly that are close to me, such as lovers and familey but it also diminished.                                                                                                                                                                                      

*Can get a bit sick after sex                                                                                                                                                                        

I think that’s enough for now. I can also name the herbs in the extract given to me let me know if it can be in any help.

 

Thank you for bearing with me.

 

 

Yinja.                                                   

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Hi Yinja,

 

The only thing I will speak to is the energy related anxiety.

 

I would recommend finding a hobby that requires a significant amount of energy as well as being significantly complex so that you have to concentrate totally on what you are doing.  This will keep the body and mind busy so that you aren't concentrating on other things and possibly increasing your awareness of other discomforts.

 

Regarding your treatment:  if it is helping then stay with it but make sure there are no negative side effects.  (That might be difficult to do but at least try.)

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Thank you Marblehead for your comment

 

I hope i didnt presented things too dramatic, im doing fine overall. :) 

 

I do a lot of activities such as surfing snowboarding  and they do make me feel better, although when im numb it dosnt seem to be enough to reach to me and it can be boring belive it or not. 

 

Being active definitely helps with anxiety. 

 

Would you say i should aim to use my energy in order to balance it? or maybe learn to adjust to the new levels of energy? 

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I still got lots to learn but to me it sounds like you are unhealthy. And that the lsd messed you up somewhere...also sick after sex? You mentioned the LDT and MDT like you have them build in which case your health should be much better so Im concluding you havent them build and are just refering to the area where they will built. 

 

My opinion, stay celibate as much as possible, do some earthing (touching the earth) when you can, on a daily basis would be good, do some healing breaths where you breath in good wahtever you want, you charge the air and exhale unwanted stuff, qualities or physical conditions. Focus on it and after 5 breaths of this anyone feels something. Do as many as you feel it helps on a daily basis. And work out, exercise is the mother of health, maybe stick to calistenichs? You can also go in an empty field or when you're not surrounded by people and try to gather some chi with reiki in areas you may feel you lack.......lastly work on your astral body. Do this exercise, that this bearheart guy calls "the merger". Basically expand your astral body to engulf the universe, then take some energy from the prime creator and use that to open portals and travel to your planetary selves on the middle channell, there make a protection sign in the 4 directions to protect your bodies. Takes 5 min and I always feel a flow of pure power by the time Im on my lunar/yesod/4th, dont even need to finish. Its powerful, do it once-twice daily. Then spend 5 min to build an astral armor, thats something you 'just' do, let it be dont force it, its appearance or colour but the light should always be veeery strong ;)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdqCtpjY1fc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwZzjodYez8

Good luck, Im sure you can heal yourself !

Edited by Arramu

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Thank you for your thoughts Arramu 

 

Breathing in general and healing breaths as you call it are not bad for sure 

and i do them as you advised.

 

I will look into that astral body stuff :D 

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Would you say i should aim to use my energy in order to balance it? or maybe learn to adjust to the new levels of energy? 

Hard question for me to respond to.  What are your interests?  Maybe a new hobby that requires both body and mind.  I agree that surfing and snowboarding are good for the body but not so much the mind.  I say "hobby" because it would be something you really wanted to do so you would be able to devote quality mind and body time to it.

 

But basically, something that feels natural to you.  This would allow the flow of your excess energy to be natural.

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You should bring this post in to your Chinese Medicine practitioner. Perhaps there are things being said here which weren't said to them.

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** usual disclaimer, no expert, often wrong but well meaning.

 

Others might be circling this conclusion, but let me say it straight out-  You may want to consider staying away from meditation and especially from energy type practices for a while, like a year.  Forget about the concept of energy and dan tiens and concentrate on a healthy life for a while. 

 

Cause it sounds to me like you're very energy sensitive.   For now, I'd say your job is to 'normalize' get your body and nerves back to there default state.  Sometimes, doing nothing is the fastest way to get there.  At some point you can find a good teacher, get proper feedback and move forward, but for now, focus on healthy things in your life.  Esoteric cultivation will always be here. 

 

There's no rush.  Pushing it, when you're off balance will just move you backwards.

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Thanks for coming to my help. 

 

Atherous- Sounds like a good idea though i thought we have a few among us and expected thier perspective.

 

thelerner- If only you told me that a year ago but no worries its been done

as i quickly discovered meditation were not an option at the time and i after a while a took off to the alps to snowboard for the winter and it worked. Now it seems im on the other extreme of the polarity(numb) and recovering towards a more balanced state.

 

My guess is that all that overwhelming anxiety did its damage on the body and i wonder whats the best course of actions. 

How about qigong? to encourage the healing. I will not meditate for now. It dosnt feel right.  

 

Thanks again.

Edited by Yinja

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Hallo yinya! I would say do things that are grounding. (Barefoot walks in nature, long cold showers,look into diet for detoxing (read about raw food and fasting maybe paleo diet if it is more yozr thing.Meditation and qigong wise i would say baduanjin and maybe zhang zhuang.Best wishes (i have a similar way behind me so i know it can be hard but it is possible!)

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