Unseen_Abilities

Hypothetically

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Hypothetically, let's say you're in a bit of a tough situation: Last November, you were having a discussion with your parents about their relationship shifting into a new phase, your Dad said a particular sentence and, what seemed like out of nowhere, you find yourself experiencing an onslaught of Subconscious stuff/"memories"/impressions about you yourself being Sexually/Psychologically abused as a young child. You suddenly find yourself in a state of primal rage, more powerful than any other kind of anger you've ever experienced and (keep in mind that this apparently just got triggered by something your Old Man said in the conversation) you find yourself screaming "YOU FUCKED ME, YOU FUCKED ME" over and over again. You became confused and tormented, and lost a lot of sleep for a while - Your Life was in complete disarray. You make posts on here, you go to see 2 completely separate therapists, who both tiptoed around actually going deeply into the issue, but still charged the full price...You ask a few Facebook "friends" who you think could be of assistance due to their Spiritual inclinations, but they too tiptoe around the question and abandon you.

 

You're on your own. You have recently begun working on your Art on a full-time basis, and even have a Facebook page with a few hundred "Likes" - You know deep down inside that Life will be worth living again one day so, despite the temptation, you feel Suicide is not a viable option.

 

So, you force yourself to keep going: You begin doing lots of energy work to heal, you take care of your sleeping issues and become well-rested. It gets to the beginning of March the next year and, despite being and feeling "X" amount of times better and healthier than you did a few months ago, you just can't shake the feeling that some (potentially very serious) shit went down in your Childhood.

 

Astrologically, there are most certainly things in your Chart that point to Childhood abuse being a possibility, there's been little clues here and there in the form of Synchronicities (not to mention the little clues in the Family - You happen to be very intuitive, and sensitive to Subtle Energies) indicating all of this as quite possible, though admittedly not concrete.

 

Also, Intuitive/Divinatory techniques that you frequently use (with regularly observable answers) keep saying this over and over again - Dude, you were abused. You are now 24 years old and you currently Live in their house, though you have largely disconnected from them.

 

Admittedly, you were somewhat financially spoiled in your adolescence, and you were nearly entirely focused on things other than Money. You just didn't care about it. You've become aware of this on a deeper level lately, and are just beginning to train yourself to care more about Money, though you feel this could take a little while yet to Manifest in your Life as enough Money to Live comfortably on your own, but, for obvious reasons, you just want to get the fuck out of your parents house and into your own as quickly as possible.

 

You have very few, if any, actual Friends in the Physical World at this time.

 

What do you do?

 

Unseen_Abilities

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Sounds like a repressed memory situation.

 

I would try to find a therapist doing psychoanalysis - for repressed memories, other stuff like CBT is less help - to fully dig up the memory, trusting them to guide me to bypass ego defences even if it seems they're just chatting. Also meditation. Then, once the memories are opened up, consider how best to deal with them.

 

Failing that due to money or circumstances, I would go into it in meditation and try self-hypnosis.

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I could fairly easily organise that kind of therapy, it's just a matter of finding a suitable therapist. For obvious reasons I'd like to know the actual reality of what I posted about - No one really wants to believe that kind of thing happened to them, including me (I do still have doubts about whether or not it happened in the physical world) but it's something I've got to do.

 

Thanks Seeker of Tao.

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not to make light of your stuff, but...decide what role the hair dryer really plays for ya?

 

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Don't 'repressed memories' often turn out to be false? I'm thinking in terms of the whole "satanic panic" in the 80's. Just something to keep in mind.

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You can't undo the past, if indeed anything happened in the past to be undone, but you can work toward the realization that your life begins afresh with every breath.

For therapy, I'd go to someone with a lot of experience and success in the 'family constellation' method. I think that's what it's called in English but I can look into more later.

 

here:

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bert_Hellinger

 

I've participated in many, many of these sessions, as 'actor' or 'placeholder' and as the one with the issues to be addressed. If you look at the page, don't be put off by the 'controversies', they aren't as controversial as the English-language wiki page makes them seem.

 

Some more info in English:

 

http://www.goodtherapy.org/family_constellations.html

Edited by soaring crane
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Hypothetically, let's say you're in a bit of a tough situation: Last November, you were having a discussion with your parents about their relationship shifting into a new phase, your Dad said a particular sentence and, what seemed like out of nowhere, you find yourself experiencing an onslaught of Subconscious stuff/"memories"/impressions about you yourself being Sexually/Psychologically abused as a young child. You suddenly find yourself in a state of primal rage, more powerful than any other kind of anger you've ever experienced and (keep in mind that this apparently just got triggered by something your Old Man said in the conversation) you find yourself screaming "YOU FUCKED ME, YOU FUCKED ME" over and over again. You became confused and tormented, and lost a lot of sleep for a while - Your Life was in complete disarray. You make posts on here, you go to see 2 completely separate therapists, who both tiptoed around actually going deeply into the issue, but still charged the full price...You ask a few Facebook "friends" who you think could be of assistance due to their Spiritual inclinations, but they too tiptoe around the question and abandon you.

 

You're on your own. You have recently begun working on your Art on a full-time basis, and even have a Facebook page with a few hundred "Likes" - You know deep down inside that Life will be worth living again one day so, despite the temptation, you feel Suicide is not a viable option.

 

So, you force yourself to keep going: You begin doing lots of energy work to heal, you take care of your sleeping issues and become well-rested. It gets to the beginning of March the next year and, despite being and feeling "X" amount of times better and healthier than you did a few months ago, you just can't shake the feeling that some (potentially very serious) shit went down in your Childhood.

 

Astrologically, there are most certainly things in your Chart that point to Childhood abuse being a possibility, there's been little clues here and there in the form of Synchronicities (not to mention the little clues in the Family - You happen to be very intuitive, and sensitive to Subtle Energies) indicating all of this as quite possible, though admittedly not concrete.

 

Also, Intuitive/Divinatory techniques that you frequently use (with regularly observable answers) keep saying this over and over again - Dude, you were abused. You are now 24 years old and you currently Live in their house, though you have largely disconnected from them.

 

Admittedly, you were somewhat financially spoiled in your adolescence, and you were nearly entirely focused on things other than Money. You just didn't care about it. You've become aware of this on a deeper level lately, and are just beginning to train yourself to care more about Money, though you feel this could take a little while yet to Manifest in your Life as enough Money to Live comfortably on your own, but, for obvious reasons, you just want to get the fuck out of your parents house and into your own as quickly as possible.

 

You have very few, if any, actual Friends in the Physical World at this time.

 

What do you do?

 

Unseen_Abilities

 

Same reply as before.

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Don't 'repressed memories' often turn out to be false? I'm thinking in terms of the whole "satanic panic" in the 80's. Just something to keep in mind.

 

I'm open to that possibility.

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Thanks, idiot.

 

Anything is possible here. Like I said, I don't want to believe stuff like this happened to me (it is quite far fetched) but lots of little things point to it at least being a possibility. It's at the point now where I'm healthy, so exploring a number of avenues to find out if it did or didn't is probably a good idea.

Edited by Unseen_Abilities
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Firstly, if it did happen, your first post here seems like a good attitude ... the beginning of working through it has that as a first stage ... if so, well done.

 

Secondly I noticed something like that in your art (although at the time I felt not to comment), so, whether it did happen or not, it is in your psyche.

 

Third,; yes , repressed memory councilling can be dodgey ... I'd suggest treating what IS lodged in you, regardless of whether it happened or not.

 

If you do find a good therapist (which is a large part of many problems ... being able to find the right one) - re post # 9 seems good advice.

 

Good luck with it. Its a very difficult situation and I hope you can work through it.

Edited by Nungali
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idiot_stimpy: Not entirely sure I agree with that.

 

Nungali: I've been using EFT today to help me find out whether or not I'm holding actual repressed memories or I've just fabricated this at a Subconscious level for some reason or another, and to accept whatever comes up from doing that from a higher perspective (ie. not freak out with whatever comes). After doing a session I felt tense in my Body and kind of weary so I went to lie down, at which point some memories came up of things I definitely know happened during my (late) teens (not physical abuse, just memories of weird things going on in the House) - I also had images of my Dad staring Hypnotically into my Eyes when I was 4 years old or so. I remember having a conversation with an Uncle of mine as a Child where he was explaining Hypnosis to me. I'm detaching emotionally from this - It will take more work to get down into the nitty-gritty/the details (including what I could be fabricating) but I'm going to a Music Festival today, so later it will be. It's interesting that all that would pop into mind after doing the EFT though.

 

You're probably referring to a poem I posted up here a while ago (?) If so, I would have written that one just after the first experience.

Edited by Unseen_Abilities

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From this week, I'll be training Martial Arts in a club setting again as well (I left the Dojo I was at before and haven't trained in a class for a couple weeks)...that always helps.

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So I looked up "How do repressed memories surface" and discovered that what I experienced is actually typical of the way repressed memories come up for many people - The painful/traumatic memory gets pushed into the unconscious part of the individual after the event, and then (often years) later something can trigger the memories in an instant, leading the person to experience them again without knowing why, leading to trauma. Then, apparently many go into denial before it can all come up again...This is basically exactly what I described in the O.P.

 

Crazy stuff.

Edited by Unseen_Abilities

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...

I believe your experience may be somewhat relevant to oh a great many things on edit.

 

I give you my strongest blessings my friend.

...

Edited by Captain Mar-Vell
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I'm leery of repressed memories. The phenomena does exist but so does 'created' memories that feel real but are made up. Many (not all by any means) cases of child rape and satanic behavior are found to be false 'created/planted'. If your parents have been generally good and supportive of you over the years, I'd go towards giving them the benefit of a doubt. Maybe being a little more cautious w/ them around young kids, but in general letting it go.

 

Man tends to be more rationalizing then rational at times. In any case, good luck.

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I'm also sceptical about these memories, though many things do point to the possibility (not necessarily the likelihood) that something could have happened. Does anyone know if false memories can get triggered in the same sudden kind of way as genuine repressed memories can? Or do false memories get created in a more "gentle" way - Just the mind piecing things together incorrectly over time?

 

Thanks for the lucky wishes, lerner.

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Is it possible for Black Magic or (very) negative experiences with the Occult a few years ago to create the circumstances within an individual that would make them experience these "repressed memories" in the way that I've described? It's like that in the past I did have demonic entities/thoughtforms attached to me because of mistakes I made that I remember, however at the time of the experience that got triggered I had more or less completely gotten through the consequences of those mistakes and, though feeling sleep deprived, I was going quite well for the most part.

 

Can anyone recommend a Psychology forum they feel could be helpful here?

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I have no idea if this will help, but I had a fairly strong group of issues with my dad and many things that happened in my life (none as agregious as you have mentioned) and they were a big part of my "story". I saw these things as Me and them or he or something unfair - very dualistic - and I was proud to wear my anger and ownership of the past.

 

Some years ago this began to fall away in large chunks. My story left me. These events are now somewhat like looking at a past life 500 years ago where someone stole my pigs and had their way with my wife. I don't hold allot of anger - actually I don't hold any anger now.

 

I look at my father's behavior or lack of it, or business tsunami's and they all appear to be a part of me with no energy on them.

 

I have begun to see them as me.

 

I am now more occupied with residual proclivities and habits that I am working on discarding - not such an easy endeavor.

 

Given your close proximity with your parents and everything else considered, it is very good you have a practice.

If you graduated from college - consider joining the Peace Corps - big adventure with lots of employment ops when you return!

(I just put that in because its true and if possible its a hell of a way to exit for awhile).

 

If it is possible in the middle of all of this to find neutrality - you will experience a quantum leap in growth. It is a very difficult time for work such as this but the benifits would be spactacular because you would be transmuting at a very valuable time.

 

You may find it helpful to imagine your crown chakra vibrating at gold when in doubt - and breathing can be very helpful.

(you may also wish to check and see if you have a local practitioner / class on Holotropic Breathing)

 

We wish you all the best!

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Spotless, thanks again - I've got a plan that I've begun executing which includes money, a new home and Martial Arts training 6 days a week. It's good you were able to get through your issues like you have.

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