BlueMonk91

What is wrong with me?

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Involvment in community projects and volounteering is the way to go in this kind of situation and feel abilty to give and recieve , contribute , support and feel suported . It gives natural opportunity to retune in desired frequency and rebuild our world into a better place .

A place that is more all inclusive and caring , make home better place to live .

Edited by suninmyeyes

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I think pythagoreanfulllotus
Is being unfairly misunderstood, and it even appears deliberately so.


When there is a problem, and someone wants to fix it, why am i called a nut case for standing up and pointing out the broken links in the chain; when i try to repair them, other people jump to their soapboxes or guns and attack me as if i were the problem, for pointing out a problem.



Drew has pointed out many connections between blue's situation (as well as my own) and 'his' "nut-job agenda", ultimately castrating any effort to produce a solution for either bluemonk or myself, LET ALONE THE MILLIONS OF PEOPLE AFFECTED LIKEWISE.



The civilized world has come to a point where further contribution to its "progress" will only damn the human species into bondage and slavery.

And what, im going through a chemical imbalance? FUCK YOU.

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Honestly, i am wanting to start a garden out back but so utterly stupid that i dont know what i *can* do.

I dont want to waste money preparing something i CANT do... it's frustrating.


But first things first is preparing the small plot of land and uprooting all those nasty bramble vines... then i think i should be setting up a compost nearby...


Not much room to work with but it should grow corn and potatoes :P

Only *real* problem is my lack of any applicable experience short of weeding and harvesting.

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Just start somewhere.

Get a ready made plant, like a herb or two.

Learn how to take care of them.

How to make them flurish.

Next year plant a few stuff of your own.

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Hi BlueMonk -

 

Develop this mantra inside your head: "I don't give a shit how you feel about me, I'm going to love you anyway." then follow through and do the most loving thing that is appropriate - let him have the parking space? Return a cold stare with a smile?

 

also, consider changing your CB handle. Every time you sign on as BlueMonk you are affirming your depression.

Edited by manitou
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Hey, as long as we are derailing this thread, let's at least make it about something pleasant, like ponies :lol:

 

I tell you what, that Pinkie Pie ends depression better then that humanure :rolleyes:

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If anyone on this forum has noticed someone in their life who seems a bit shy and hesitant socially make the effort to just show them your there, because the feeling of waking up every morning knowing that your completely invisible is heartbreaking.

 

When my friend's brother committed suicide, it hit me hard how little we really care. The signs of the torment were there, but how many would be willing to significantly sacrifice their comfort and fecilities - to go through the valley - in order to bring a fellow human out of despair? I felt deep shame.

 

 

Mandrake

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Hey, as long as we are derailing this thread, let's at least make it about something pleasant, like ponies :lol:

 

I tell you what, that Pinkie Pie ends depression better then that humanure :rolleyes:

 

 

I disagree.

 

Ponies are a distraction not a solution.

 

 

Depression doesnt need more distractions from its root causes, that will only make the depression worse in the long run.

 

 

Cultivating a garden and eating your own herbs and vegetables will cure depression, not just distract you from it.

 

 

Humanure is just a means of self sufficiency and will provide you with a sense of accomplishment and even pride.

 

 

 

 

So... at the end of the day, your distractions might be fun, but they are only more depressing for someone who lacks personal stability and security in their own life. Sure maybe not while they are enjoying a good episode, but every episode has the credits roll, every season comes to an end.. what happens when there are still depressed people but no new episodes? Pick a new distraction?

 

 

Fine. how long can we keep ourselves distracted from the causes of our depression before we just flat out give up?

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'kay... my budget is from Free to $0.00...

 

Dont have any seeds anywhere either.

Get on the gardening forums about free and exchanged seeds as well as check your local 'green' community for any excahange of the skills program where you may be able to learn about gardening or volounteer somwhere locally.

I have learned my gardening skills within a month of volounteering/living/sharing in a community in Europe . It is a real treasure.

See if you can swap skills locally with someone . Research in that direction -- there is so much stuff out there , I know as I lived it .

For example I am organising a sewing (making clothes ) workshop soon , think of something you could do and maybe swap it for another skill/seeds .

Maybe try and offer to work on someones farm for a day for loads of seeds . Most probably they have some spare somwhere .

Try these sites

http://www.freecycle.org/

and

http://www.justfortheloveofit.org/freeshare

When you get going let us know and it will be big influence in this community .

 

Get involved .

 

Occupy depression !

Edited by suninmyeyes
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Occupy depression! fuck yeah! i like that! HAW!


And that is considering i dont particularily appreciate the disorganized "occupy" movements that make the news... they need a form of leadership, just enough so to maintain a respectful and respectable presence and pose.

Im not saying they're wrong do do what they do, but they would garner more support if they werent pissing in yards and trashing up the areas they occupy.

Whatever happened to carbon footprints and "leave the site a spristine as it was before you arrived"?



I'm not really sure of myself walking around on other peoples properties, asking for seeds OR work... but it's a start.


I honestly am blind within my own life, and cannot see where to go. great advice, but i do not know HOW TO apply it.... seems crazy. well i KNOW im crazy, but i mean... shit... reading it and it sounds so simple, yet when i run it through my mind i realize.... i dont even know the first step. like at the synaptic level... i cannot even lift my foot, let alone take that first step...


So confused... when it really shouldnt confuse me at all!

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Occupy depression! fuck yeah! i like that! HAW!

 

 

 

And that is considering i dont particularily appreciate the disorganized "occupy" movements that make the news... they need a form of leadership, just enough so to maintain a respectful and respectable presence and pose.

 

Im not saying they're wrong do do what they do, but they would garner more support if they werent pissing in yards and trashing up the areas they occupy.

 

Whatever happened to carbon footprints and "leave the site a spristine as it was before you arrived"?

 

 

 

I'm not really sure of myself walking around on other peoples properties, asking for seeds OR work... but it's a start.

 

 

I honestly am blind within my own life, and cannot see where to go. great advice, but i do not know HOW TO apply it.... seems crazy. well i KNOW im crazy, but i mean... shit... reading it and it sounds so simple, yet when i run it through my mind i realize.... i dont even know the first step. like at the synaptic level... i cannot even lift my foot, let alone take that first step...

 

 

So confused... when it really shouldnt confuse me at all!

You do not need to walk on other peoples properties -- google fu . Put an ad in one of the sites I mentioned above .

'I am so broke and in dire need of plant food seeds that will grow into food and feed me.

Any help much appriciated .'

 

I understand what you are saying actually becouse there are ceratin fields in my life where I feel so confused and mentaly dislexic and to everyone else it is the most common knowledge .

 

OK to give you exapmle of how I learned gardening skills .

 

I decided I d like to have 6 weeks off in the summer somwhere in amazing nature as well as trying out how does it feel to live in wilderness but in a small comunity setting . I did not have any money except around100 Euros for a ticket money to wherever.

So I googled volounteering in certain places and tried volounteering in spiritual communities . They can be dodgy places , but thats the flavour I like if it is the good place .

 

This amazing place came up , I wrote to the and offered my skills and they welcomed me . I worked 5 days a week as it was my own place ,with whatever needs doing and was part of life there .

Met some really lovley people , learned gardening and enjoyed loads of time in nature alone , meditating in the pine forest till dark , walking and swimming in the river .

 

Just be creative and daring .

 

As to your spoiler and occupy movement , no I dont appriciate mad attidudes eithers at all . However nothing is perfect , but some things are in general better than others.

 

edit ,there you go my lovley :

http://garden.lovetoknow.com/wiki/Free_Vegetable_Seeds

Edited by suninmyeyes
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whew... still all quite very overwhelming... but its definitely a much more optimistic start than what i've had so far!



I'll let y'all know when i can come up with a good list of veggies, but my goal is to plan this out real well while i prep the land and compost:


To learn enough about permaculture and what combinations and patterns of plants will act as natural herbicides and pesticides, then grab those seeds first.


After which, the garden should ideally contain corn, green beans, potatoes, tomatoes, jalapenos, cucumbers, and carrots.

Im not sure what herbs are native to the Pacific Northwest, so im not sure what herbs i want to grow.


Well, other than cannabis, but i doubt i could grow that and be left alone... lol

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huh... give a man a pony and he won't be depressed for a day

TURN A MAN INTO A PONY AND... scratch that, let's do something else :closedeyes:

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Bluemonk,

 

Plant new mind-seeds. Its the only way to cut the ties with the old. If you dont plant new seeds now, this moment, when will you start? One new positive seed a day is not too much to do. Perhaps this clip would be a good incentive to bring about a renewed sense of meaning and uncover some of the hidden brilliance which is our true nature.

 

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Bluemonk,

 

Plant new mind-seeds. Its the only way to cut the ties with the old. If you dont plant new seeds now, this moment, when will you start? One new positive seed a day is not too much to do. Perhaps this clip would be a good incentive to bring about a renewed sense of meaning and uncover some of the hidden brilliance which is our true nature.

 

what would be an example of a positive seed?

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When my friend's brother committed suicide, it hit me hard how little we really care. The signs of the torment were there, but how many would be willing to significantly sacrifice their comfort and fecilities - to go through the valley - in order to bring a fellow human out of despair? I felt deep shame.

 

 

Mandrake

I feel ashamed too my parents can't even look me in they eyes

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What is wrong with me?

 

Everything is wrong with "me"....Me is always false...Me is a delusion. Me = Falsity.

 

"we need to draw our attention to what is false in us, for unless we learn to recognize the false as the false, there can be no lasting transformation, and you will always be drawn back into illusion, for that is how the false perpetuates itself" Eckhart Tolle

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I feel ashamed too my parents can't even look me in they eyes

 

Can I suggest something?

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Learn martial arts. It will boost your confidence and might even make you friends.

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One doesnt always need a new seed to find new potential

for instance potatoes can be grown from an 'eye' off of

a potato you were about to cook.

Tomatoes and peppers will grow readily from the seeds in a slice - as long

as you accept that the results may not be exactly like the

source plant. etc etc

You have been consuming your source material all along.

BUT

Seeds are a dime a dozen. Sacrifice five bucks and order some,

the thing isnt to 'happen by' the perfect answer , there arent any !

you have to nurture the things - pay attention to them and do what

it takes regardless ! of whether you plant a seed, or grow from prepared starts.

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