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Great Spiritual, Physical & Mental Benefits From Semen Retention (Celibacy) And Mental Emptiness! - My Experience And Thoughts

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So let me see, you say abandon desire, yet you desire to be enlightened and kill all sexual urges?

I think the teaching with this was meant to be.. we cannot stop desiring in life. But we can desire in a way that leads to less pain and suffering. And to a moment where we simply are "enlightened" and fully forever in the moment with out any more desire to be had

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What is to be said about a fear of intimacy that might personally be driving my quest of brahmacharya.. In a way it's healthy because it is motivating me to look at ssex without lust.

 

But still being in a society where most people have sex like animals. I can't help be feel outcasted. And especially feel like I may not be the right chemistry or fit for one of these women who like to be .. taken in such an aggressive way. I could do sex that way but it feels wrong and draining. So is this suppression?

 

Or is it me waiting for the right signs of a women who is very soft and subtle ?

 

I just worry because I can't neglect the fact that I feel tremendous insecurity and fear of intamicy in my mind

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You only need to extinguish the root of desire, rather than going at them individually. 

 

Understanding what is desire and what is not is a good foundation from which to transform yourself. 

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You only need to extinguish the root of desire, rather than going at them individually.

 

Understanding what is desire and what is not is a good foundation from which to transform yourself.

 

I was doing this a month ago and was finally feeling a sense of relief.

 

But then I entertained the idea of being with someone again and I crashed. I have never come across someone who has respected me or whome I felt comfortable with or could trust as time went on. I was always cheated on..

 

So what might be the right next step? Extinguish all desire for being with someone completely ? And just live a life with out that all.?

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Hi CT :) How possible is this to achieve in one's lifetime?

Hi RV  :)

 

Its very possible, and from my pov, the perfect practice is through having a deep understanding of the Buddha's 

teachings on Upekkha, which, when translated from Pali means 'to see or act with great patience'. 

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I was doing this a month ago and was finally feeling a sense of relief.

 

But then I entertained the idea of being with someone again and I crashed. I have never come across someone who has respected me or whome I felt comfortable with or could trust as time went on. I was always cheated on..

 

So what might be the right next step? Extinguish all desire for being with someone completely ? And just live a life with out that all.?

If trust is complete, and coming from deep within you, external disturbances, especially the behaviours of others, will cease to bother you as much. But the key point is it has to be complete. If it even has subtle traces of ego, you will still experience repercussions. I wont call them good or bad, but simply acknowledge these as rippling effects from clinging to a self as real. 

 

Cutting the root, the ultimate meaning of it, is to see how we invented an 'I' and then dramatise this 'I' with lots of story lines. Once we can see through the falsity of this creation, what is left to be harmed or healed? Remember, we not only want to free ourselves from samsara - we want freedom from both samsara and nirvana!!  :D

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One more thing that might be of interest to note: Celibacy of mind, which is fundamentally empty, is primary. Those who practice mind celibacy cultivate and retain spiritual essence, which is limitless. Those who practice physical celibacy retains physical essence, which is limited, and often prone to frustrated results. 

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Last week I attended a weekend meditation workshop. Part of the workshop preparation was to do a cleansing diet (no spicy foods, no red meats, no alcohol, caffeine, processed sugars) and avoid sex/ejaculation. This was to be done 1 week before and 1 week after. I first attended this type of workshop January of last year, and after attending quite a few in the last 1.5 years, I have a good working relationship with the 'spiritual guide' that is associated with that meditation group. 

 

She came to me and gave me some solid advice (the spirit guide) about 2 weeks before the workshop, and part of the cleansing that I'd never heard (nor considered) before was the cleansing of the mind - not only was I to avoid ejaculation, I was to avoid THOUGHTS of an impure nature - essentially taking 'purification' to a level I hadn't considered before. Even just a basic "whoa, nice ass on THAT girl" was to be avoided. How did I fare? I think because of my relationship with some of the Hindu Deities, it found it was Lord Ganesh that began watching over me - every time a thought even began to form within my mind he (or perhaps a helper of his) was right there to hook it out of my thoughts and discard it before it could manifest and affect my vibration. The first week I looked pretty silly, physically feeling thoughts being pulled from me, causing a strange looking 'tug' on my face, almost like a fish hook pulling on the upper corner of my lip every time it happened. By the beginning of the 2nd week though, I think I had 'trained' myself not to initiate those types of thoughts in my head, plus with all due respect to the Hindu Deities helping me, I was probably re-tuned a bit energetically not to think that way.

 

Now that the workshop has been over for more than a week, it's okay for me to resume the normal spicy foods, red meats, intercourse, etc... but I have to admit, the 'way' I think things feels completely different (part of that may be from the meditation workshop as well). I don't feel so attached to those thoughts, although I've found "I'm permitted" to make those thought now - just doesn't have the energetic attachment to me the way it used to.

 

As for retention during sex - it was a challenge to master the technique, and when I first learned it about 25 years ago I actually did more harm than good (I didn't have all the details). But even now, while practising retention, there is still a chance for energy lost during intercourse as you connect with your partner and use that energy to elevate theirs (or enhance their experience). Especially doesn't help if your partner is not a practising meditation/energy person. I have found that if the partner is an energy practitioner also, then the loss is mitigated but I've yet to experience it where I find myself either 'the same' or 'elevated' the next day - doesn't mean "she" is not out there for me - I just mean I haven't found her yet.

 

My old kungfu instructor back in the 90s used to discuss these concepts with me, and said that 'back in the old days' in China there were 2 types of guy practising 'hard qi gong' (essentially, energetic toughening exercises for hitting power). There were those that practised hard qi gong (called Ying Qi Gong - not yin/yang, but ying as in 'hard') and practised retention during sex, and those that practised hard qi gong and abstained from sex. He said that the guys that completely abstained were always so much stronger. Back then I assumed the other group were simply hiding the fact that they 'had little accidents' and lost some of their essence during sex.... now through my own practise I realize he meant they were still losing energy despite not ejaculating - which makes sense when you consider the energetic relationship between 2 people being like 2 water balloons with a hose connected between them... the balloon with more water pressure will send water through the hose to the other balloon until they balance out 'energetically'.

 

As for some of the guys on the board opening up about feeling wiped out afterwards - man, you aren't kidding. When I first started doing meditation and things like taiji (apart from my kungfu) in my early 20s, I quickly learned it was like 'flushing a toilet' and suddenly all your stored up energy was gone. Instead of having all these terrific energetic experiences during meditation or training, it would take a week before I'd begin to sense any of these again - the rule of thumb is 1 day for every 6 years old you are. So an 18 year old would take 3 days to replenish, a 30 year old 5 days, and me (at 46) would be a week. But this doesn't put you back at 'where you were' - it puts you back to 'full, but not pressurized'. You still need a few weeks on top of that to bring it back close to where you were - don't kid yourself that developing 'energetic wealth' for 3 months will be replenished in a week.

 

You'll find though, that the NUMBER and intensity of the ejaculation will make a difference also. Let's say you've been 'master of your domain' (Seinfeld reference) for 100 days and are feeling super strong, no ejaculations. You go on a date, score with her, and as 'luck' would have it, you lose a bit of control and end up 'giving a donation' to your partner (I prefer the euphemisms, bear with me). Let's say it's a small amount - you might actually be okay after about a week or so, and back to where you left off. But what if you go home and think "ah screw it - I lost some anyways, might as well make it worth my while" (we've all done that...) and decide to surf some porn, and really bat 1 or 2 out of the park before going to sleep.... you might as well set the calendar back to day 1.  So be mindful of how this works.

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Fasting from sexual thoughts is a powerful practice and one i haven't done in awhile. Thanks for bring it up meeks. Very useful for where i'm at right now. Cheers. 

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Thanks but I am practicing something: mental emptiness

 

I remember when I read the yoga sutras by patanjali there was a line in the begining where he said that the goal of yoga is the cessation of thoughts. That line stuck in my mind.

 

 

Thanks a lot for this information, Digitalyogi. I read about "nadas" before but I don't remember reading about one sounding like a clock. Also, I searched the term and couldn't find much relevant information on it. Did you experience this sound as well? Or did you read about it? If you did can you please share the source? In your other post you said that you experienced the same things. Did you experience anything else which I didn't mention? I would be nice if there was someone more advanced than me in this practice.

Brahmacharya sounds like something I've been looking for for a while. Is there any texts that will aid my understanding of it or sourrounding areas other than 'yoga sutras'? Ive been dabbling with retention and like the effects and the clarity (and the energy) so I think I'll give it a shot. Not sure if my gf wil be happy, but who knows it could create a more wholesome relationship in the end.

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Hello guys,


To my surprise I've read all the posts in this thread, something I don't think I have done again, not in any forum, at least not with such great interest. There is great information and productive conflict in here, such as great opinions and information. I'm a newbie when it comes to QiGong, which is why I don't encourage myself to post things just yet and why I have registered here in the first place, to be honest. However, I do think I can point out a thing or two in this particular subject since its nature is more spiritual(?) than chi-technical.

 

But first let me lay down some quotes:

 

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.

Aleister Crowley, The Book of the  Law

 

Love is the law, love under will.

                                                      ― Aleister Crowley, The Book of the Law
 

Free from desire you see the mystery. Full of desire you see the manifestations.

Lessen selfishness and restrain desires.

Without desire there is stillness, and the world settles by itself.

There is no greater crime than desire.

I have no desire to desire, and people become like the uncarved wood by themselves.

 

The sage desires no desire, does not value rare treasures, learns without learning, recovers what people have left behind.

 

 
Where attention goes, energy flows.

 

 

Now, having the above quotes in mind, allow me to elaborate on the subject of celibacy.
Celibacy, in my humble opinion, has to do, first and foremost, with sexual desire.

 

Desire, desire, desire. Why is this word so important? Why we keep stumbling upon it whenever we attempt to enlighten and evolve ourselves? Why is there so much confusion around this word?

 

Well, words tend to confuse most of us. "Desire" for you might have a stronger meaning than for me. So please let me attempt to clarify what kind of desire we're talking about here, just so I can see we're on the same page, and to save ourselves from further confusion.

I believe, when it comes to spirituality, desire has the connotations of need, neediness, helplessness, loss of control -- or rather, since I don't really like the last word, loss of focus. It also implies, I believe, a sort of attachment for the mind, which stems from indulgence. Ah, indulgence!

Whenever someone is lost in indulgence has succumbed to his desire, hasn't he? And since, as human beings, we're still struggling with the physical plane of our existence, which is evident just by looking at all the controversial statements regarding QiGong, which is energy, if I'm not wrong, succumbing to desire means succumbing to physical pleasure, and one of the greatest pleasures in our current plane is, arguably, sexual intercourse.

At this point I'd also like to point out that although sexual intercourse is just a pair of words, it doesn't fully reflect the act itself. It's just a description. The map is never the territory. Fucking, making love, getting laid, having sex, breeding, screwing, etc, are all talking about the same thing.

Or are they?

Which of the above has to do with desire and which one has to do with one of the quotes above? Desire has to do with taking, grabbing, demanding, forcing something into your way, and that's why, I believe, it goes against the Tao, because when someone has to demand, grab, take, force something into his way, it is because he himself is not complete. And, if I'm not mistaken, the Tao says we are all complete. We just don't know it.

But, when we finally realize this, we are at rest, at peace. There is no desire, for there is nothing to need. We don't want to take, nor demand, nor grab, nor force anything into our way, for we are at peace. Our whole being turns into a serene sea, giving rather than taking. And because of that we receive. We give love and we receive love, from those who can give us love. If we don't receive love, it's cool too. We're already brimming with that one anyway!

I believe our mindset, regarding not just sex but anything, should be: Hmm, that would be nice.
Instead of I want this. Or worse, I need this. Or even worse, I fucking want this. Or even worse. . .

I also believe celibacy is a very honorable and admirable thing, if done correctly. Actually, I'm on my first week of celibacy right now, hence the reason I looked for a relevant post in the forum, but the main reason for me doing it is preserving energy and, if I've understood correctly what I've read so far, keeping my jing intact so I can, hopefully soon, begin the process of turning it into chi.

But let me be clear. I don't have a girlfriend right now and I'm not in the mood to pursue sexual encounters, so celibacy comes easier for me, at least from a physical point of view. Had I had a girlfriend whom I loved and knew she loved me back, I wouldn't go into celibacy, no way. Thank Tao, there are a lot of methods out there which can help us reach spiritual enlightenment without the need to abstain from sex. And the Internet is here to help us find them, thank Science.

Lastly, I would like to say that spiritual enlightenment is just another pair of words. It's not a competition. It's a kind of understanding, first and foremost of yourself (know thyself!) and then, understanding society, nature, mankind, the universe, and a lot of other things that surround us. And by understanding I mean feeling, too.

 

Understanding for the mind and comprehending for the heart, and each step leads to another step, and so we keep on climbing; to where, no one knows. And we can't actually find out just by conversing, no matter how well or how civilly we manage to do it. The truth is out there, and here are the things which will hopefully help us find it--or at least point us to the right direction. We should abstain from losing ourselves and our time on definitions and concepts, because definitions and concepts are only that: definitions and concepts. They speak to the mind, not to the heart.

We are all as intelligent as we can be, already. There is no point proving it to anyone, not to ourselves, not to others, and especially not to society. Yes, we are all intelligent and we are proud of that.

 

Or are we?

How can, as a species, we consider ourselves intelligent when we know we have two minds--if I understand QiGong correctly--and we only use one? I believe we're here, as a generation, and, specifically in this forum, to discuss experiences and trade methods, not discuss and then argue about concepts. Celibacy is just another method. The experience is the one that counts. We should all encourage anyone who's determined to pursue an experience that has to do with cultivating the spirit, no matter how dull, dumb, or pointless we consider it to be.

And isn't "consider" our left-brain talking? What the hell does it know about experiences, anyway?


 

 

Love is the law, love under will.




 

Edited by Lao Sun Tao
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Shoooot if yall havin' such great benefits I may as well try this jont myself....

 

I'm only 19 so I'm in the student stage of my life anyway and that's when the Hindus believe Bramacharya to be most beneficial? If I'm not mistaken. I'm all for experimentation so I figured why not. On the other hand, I know that retention leads me to dreaming and waking up ready to procreate so I'm not sure how this will go for me such early in my life and being sourrounded by young and beautiful women in college. If nothing else it will be some time for me to reflect on my life and make necessary changes with less distractions.

 

Thanks for the post safi ;)

Edited by Chi Boy
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Hi CT :) How possible is this to achieve in one's lifetime?

 

Mentally you can't no matter how hard you try. There are monks and nuns that disrobe because of lust. This is a fact. Imagine how hard is if you live as a lay practitioner. Tremendously difficult!

 

How to then?

 

By manipulating the physical body and cleansing the heart which is the final stage but before that you need to purify the small army working for the master, which is the main offender anyway. :D

 

Baguazhang is a great tool to remove lust including foundation work; healing starts at the Jing level, your connection to this planet, to the Yin itself which is one of the main reasons you are reborn in physical form. Hard work is required though.

 

I have posted in the past many links to Foundation exercises put together by He Jinghan in his YT channel and blog, have you checked them out? This exercise is a real gem:

 

Asian Squat

 

Start by holding onto a tree if you can't go into that position right away.

 

Siting in chairs, driving in cars, sitting in that position while watching a movie, work, study, dinner, etc. blocks the Dai Mai meridian, which plays a crucial role in health and natural flow of the Wood, Earth and Water networks.

 

Do not eat past 3pm and eat MINDFULLY. Never rush it. Quietly and enjoying what you eat and make sure you say grace before your meal. Kind of a warm-up thing which is very helpful.

 

Best :)

Edited by Gerard

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Do not eat past 3pm and eat MINDFULLY. Never rush it. Quietly and enjoying what you eat and make sure you say grace before your meal. Kind of a warm-up thing which is very helpful.

 

Best :)

Wow 3pm thats kind of early. Unless you imply going to bed by 7pm and getting up at 2-3am?!

 

 

And also: If I were to eat slowly and mindfully, I'd be spending an hour for each meal, with the portions I need... Kind of impractical

Edited by Papayapple

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 Thought I'd share my thoughts and perspective on this topic. I think this topic gets a lot of attention for various reasons. For some the primary motivation might be gaining of special powers by such a practice. For others there might be an underlying sense of guilt around the subject of sexuality and thus finding a way to avoid the subject is seen as beneficial. Others may be aware of simply how strong and deep this particular attachment is and weather the reason for attention is an understanding of what the Buddha said about attachment leading to suffering, or simply an intuitive realization of being controlled by something so powerful, there are people out there (as this forum shows) that want to step back from the more typical reactions to sexuality and take a look at it. 

  In the past I began such explorations into this topic first with Chia's teachings on semen retention and non-ejaculation. While this did indeed prevent me from expelling semen, from my own personal experience that seems to be all it did. It also seemed to make me obsessed with the subject of sex as well. Looking back having a mental state that was still very much indulging in sensual pleasure but at the same time not releasing all the excess testosterone (or yang qi) I became rather sex obsessed. 

  Realizing that this state of affairs was not making me any happier, I began to take a greater interest in what the Buddha said about such things, due to the fact that I was become very personally aware that the second noble truth was a very accurate description of what I was experiencing indeed (the cause of suffering is desire).  

  At this point I dropped the practice of retention and took up the practice of mindfulness instead. If and when I had a sexual experience I would just go ahead on do it the old fashioned way. This did bring me a degree of relief as I wasn't a super testosterone, yang excessive walking nuclear reactor anymore. Though obviously this only did so much as the source of origination for desire was in the mind. So I began to practice mindfulness of noting as taught by Yuttadhammo Bhikkhu. When lust (or any other mental state for that matter) would arise I would simply note it as such. On the inhale I would say in my mind "lust" and on the exhale "lust". While noting lust I would pay attention to how it actually felt to feel lust in my body and mind as I was currently feeling it. This had the effect of letting my mind understand that lust was indeed suffering rather than the happiness I thought it was through delusion. While the results were gradual and subtle I did notice over time that lust come less frequently and also with less intenseness. 

  Do I still experience lust? Of course, as I have not yet reached the state of enlightenment, but I can say that it has reduced to the point that it has been a long time since I have indulged in that type of sensual pleasure. I think the important thing to remember that there is nothing really magic or special about lust or sex. It is just an attachment in the mind rooted in delusion just like any other state of attachment or aversion in the mind. The key is therefore to simply be mindful, to observe with out judgment and gradually, slowly the mind will let go all on its own. 

 

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