Vanir Thunder Dojo Tan

Felt as one today.

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And as so significantly to share it.... Surprisingly so, that I felt so many minds touch as one, thoughts shared universally... fear love and all feeling and idea as one, I am still reeling and I still, I find myself asking why? In addition to these overwhelming feelings, I began to realize all know all know; as one thought amongst all, that all out deeds and dones, our thoughts and lusts, speech and phrases, malintent; the whole range of interaction, shared knowledge... I felt so overwhelmed... all knowing me, knowing all, our misdeeds, and faults.... I keep weeping and saving this, sorry, it's hard, even saying so... but I am feeling as though both consistently, at all times, alive, and dead at the same time... stuck in a toroidal loop around... time, space...? I cant... <> It's like a neverending movie, and this is the apocalypse scene where the experience and experiencer realize one another; as in all individuals, and self. And throughout all this, my damned enter key wont let me move down a paragraph in windows 8. Happy apocalypse everyone!

Edited by Hot Nirvana Judo Trend
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I've since gone to sleep and I guess.... slept the feeling off... but it was intense... hard to truly describe, but so.... overwhelming... Until I realized it was just me, I actually felt like the whole world was experiencing this heh...

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I've since gone to sleep and I guess.... slept the feeling off... but it was intense... hard to truly describe, but so.... overwhelming... Until I realized it was just me, I actually felt like the whole world was experiencing this heh...

 

In your universe, the whole world was feeling it. We don't always experience the exact same universe, even though we might be standing side by side. I know the feeling, though ... hard to describe sometimes, or the description doesn't do justice

 

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i think the only description I can muster that can even emulate "justice" is "All Encompassing Infinitesimal Omniversal Unity" That even thought we all share experience, we are all also uniquely in our own uni/omniverse, we are all one, yet segregated from ourselves by means of entire realities.... infinity is terrifying and yet comforting at the same time...... edit add: And I just read my original post and laughed my ass off lol.... the way I mention the enter key (windows 8, may or may not even be the problem, could just be THIS computer.... but I odnt have that problem on my dad's other comp in the house), it cracked me up... I think it was also a nice touch for something as serious as this to be wrapped up with a literal truth and joke at the same time heh...

Edited by Hot Nirvana Judo Trend

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i think the only description I can muster that can even emulate "justice" is "All Encompassing Infinitesimal Omniversal Unity"

I know its a dirty word to some, but a more succinct group of symbols that could be used are G, O, and D.

 

I had a similar experience several years ago. I simply 'woke up' while riding in a car, looking at the sun setting over a field and I understood I was the eyes and ears of the world. An aperture through which the universe becomes self aware. It was devastating and liberating at the same time. I knew in that moment that everything is OK and that I was never born and can never die. I understood "I am that" as Nisargadatta puts it. I laughed for days - my family thought I was going crazy so I had to hide it.

 

I tried to describe it to my Shifu and just couldn't find the words. He looked at me with a serious expression and asked "Are you trying to tell me that you realized that you are God?" I was shocked to hear him use that wording because he's a Daoist from Taiwan but that really struck a cord with me and I said "Yes, that's it, that's exactly what it felt like!" He leaned back in his chair, smiled and said "Keep practicing" referring to the Daoist meditation I study with him.

 

My feeling about this experience is that it is a precious gift. It is a glimpse of truth. Christians would call it Grace. Some people try and try and never have this experience.

I think such a gift should be treated with reverence.

It is a priceless opportunity and can change your life forever if approached in that way.

In particular, this is a way toward the meaning of love and the practice of true compassion, as Nisargadatta says in my sig below.

At the same time, it is just an experience and it's important not to get too attached or to seek to replicate it.

I think it can become an addiction for some.

 

Namaste

_/\_

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I know its a dirty word to some, but a more succinct group of symbols that could be used are G, O, and D.

 

haha , yes!

 

Nice to read your post Steve.

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I think, therefore, I am. If we are children of God, what are we when we grow up?

 

A Godling with a crappy intenet connection?

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but I am feeling as though both consistently, at all times, alive, and dead at the same time... stuck in a toroidal loop around... time, space...? I cant... <> It's like a neverending movie, and this is the apocalypse scene where the experience and experiencer realize one another; as in all individuals, and self.

I experienced something somewhat similar to that during one of my ayahuasca trips - it was the most profound one.

It was horrible in a way. It felt like I was losing my mind, and unfortunately there was no message or anything giving me confidence and trust to allow it to happen. It felt like I would have to die completely, to stop existing, in order to give in to it.

Weird was that I wasn't scared shitless, but in utter despair. That was because I experienced it as invitable true reality. There was no way in hell I could have escaped that truth, so I couldn't run away, thus no fear.

But whenever I get a mild flashback into those realms, it DOES scare me a lot. Feels like reality theatening to collapse and take me with it down the drain. It's like I am wishing to practice slowly, to keep approaching it, you know, getting used to it, getting better at dealing with it, and then some time later it hits me unprepared, very mildly, and I'm like FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! :lol:

 

I'm still wondering what lies beyond, whether I was supposed to do something differently, what's the point? Very confusing, and hearing other people taking ayahuasca and getting insights that help them with their daily problems in life, man, that makes me jealous. Are they more humble? Or are they more spiritually advanced than me without knowing?

I envy people who can make profound steps like this without totally freaking out. It sucks to have so much fear blocking the process.

That one guy, who practiced shaolin, he said at one point during the trip he felt like he was dying, and thought: "Alright, if it has to be, then I will die." How does one do that?!

 

Back to the unity thing: Yes, one can try to describe it, but eventually the mind has to capitulate. To me it was like even infinity, while not imaginable for the mind, is still a time-based concept. The stuff that's really freaking the mind out is not necessarily the idea of something without beginning and end, but the idea of there being no time, thus no beginning, no end and no progress, no dimension. Everything that could possible exist is the ever-existing ocean of consciousness and whatever we perceive is just a narrowed focus and bringing things into shape. The more you search, the less you find, because all of reality is just imagination, a dream, and the dream does not exist, because the dreamer is awake at the same time. There's only being awake, and we are not so much asleep, but awakened all the time beneath the surface. We have that thin protective layer that keeps us from realizing that "we" are all "I" and "I" am god and all that exists.

How does one make pracical use of an experience like that?! There might be subtle changes in personality, but basically, nothing changed. I mean, I am no longer aiming for immortality in the sense I used to think, because there is no death, there is nothing that can die. It also made me consider that yearning for nivana is totally absurd, since we are all connected to nirvana all the time, and since there is a reason for us being 'here', a reason that we came up with in the god-state, and since when you 'go back' to nirvana, you will simply continue to reincarnate, since there's no alternative for a singular entity anyway, the only purpose left is to accept the experience here on the physical plane. We want this, but we intentionally forgot.

But I cannot accept that. It's not useful for the experience from my limited standpoint. Keen on improving my life, getting an experience like that, cryptical and out-there stuff and so much added confusion, it kinda sucks. And even if I have some success, it's temporary. It will eventually be a dead end. But giving up (in the sense that I can comprehend) doesn't get things done either.

Edited by Owledge
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I know. When someone falls unconscious, not only the observer 'shuts down', but also the sensory system. But the observer can move and shut down without the sensory system doing the same. During a mindlapse when consuming too much alcohol, not only certain conscious-mind parts fall away, but also the observer. That the observer is there and we lose memory afterwards is only a theory.

I'm quite sure that one's awareness can be somewhere else and the body+mind unit will continue to function like nothing happened. Take sleepwalking for example. During sleep, the observer is not there (except when dreaming), but the body-mind walks around and interacts with the world.

There seems to be some kind of connection between conscious mind and observer though, because we act oddly when the observer is not there.

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the "I" that 'we' usually claim "I" and/or "we" 'are' is/are (an) observer, without intent or desire. Not the I we think we are, but the "I" that we really truly are, without façade or veil.

 

I ponder the potential singular observer, that we are all inevitably, over time/karma/exposure/etc., exposed to one another's lives as though first person/movie theatre.

 

 

edit: add in, sorry everyone :D

 

 

double edit in: I read my op again and had a hard time getting through it lmao... wow...

 

Edited by Northern Avid Judo Ant

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I ponder the potential singular observer, that we are all inevitably, over time/karma/exposure/etc., exposed to one another's lives as though first person/movie theatre.

 

 

edit: add in, sorry everyone :D

 

 

double edit in: I read my op again and had a hard time getting through it lmao... wow...

 

Experiencing it is probably the most useful, because when your mind is confronted with something it cannot possibly comprehend, it leaves no doubt and you stop wanting to understand that stuff. It's an end-of-the-world like scenario - the mind encounters its own limits by getting a glimpse from the beyond. Beyond the attainment of knowledge about truth lies the creation of truth, and that concept can put the mind into an existential crisis.

This is healthy, because an overreaching and overcontrolling mind is a common problem, and realizing that can help toning it down.

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