Celebrating life and living in the now with nothing to achieve or do, versus releasing traumas

[skydog]

Ive been doing a lot of Emotional Freedom Techniques like 4 hours a day for a few days in a row, taking a break for a few days, again for about 2 months. I've noticed dramatic changes in my self esteem, honesty, self expression, sense of power, joy etc.

 

However I feel like Im always trying to reach a goal, Im always trying to heal a memory, Im never good enough until Im fully healed, I need to have a perfect past etc..

 

Ive heard a lot of people say you should release shame before doing meditation or you will be inhibited by energy blocks, but I also think that it sort of adds to ego and keeps you in a cycle of always trying to heal something etc..

 

Paradoxical like most of life? Thoughts?

[steve]

Ive been doing a lot of Emotional Freedom Techniques like 4 hours a day for a few days in a row, taking a break for a few days, again for about 2 months. I've noticed dramatic changes in my self esteem, honesty, self expression, sense of power, joy etc.

 

However I feel like Im always trying to reach a goal, Im always trying to heal a memory, Im never good enough until Im fully healed, I need to have a perfect past etc..

 

Ive heard a lot of people say you should release shame before doing meditation or you will be inhibited by energy blocks, but I also think that it sort of adds to ego and keeps you in a cycle of always trying to heal something etc..

 

Paradoxical like most of life? Thoughts?

Paradoxical, for sure.

Also, cyclical.

 

There are times when we are attached to and connected to our suffering and those are good times to immerse ourselves in it.

Feel it fully so that it can wash over and through us.

I think during those times it can be valuable to see that process through.

Fighting it or hiding it just gives it strength.

 

And once we have seen it through far enough, the light begins to dawn.

And when we have adequately burned away the pain, I think we can let the ash fall away.

Then we can stand fresh and new in celebration in the light.

 

I think that the goal can be to do yourself justice.

To be as authentic and sincere and gentle with yourself as you can be.

Everything else will take care of itself.

[Jetsun]

Ive been doing a lot of Emotional Freedom Techniques like 4 hours a day for a few days in a row, taking a break for a few days, again for about 2 months. I've noticed dramatic changes in my self esteem, honesty, self expression, sense of power, joy etc.

 

However I feel like Im always trying to reach a goal, Im always trying to heal a memory, Im never good enough until Im fully healed, I need to have a perfect past etc..

 

Ive heard a lot of people say you should release shame before doing meditation or you will be inhibited by energy blocks, but I also think that it sort of adds to ego and keeps you in a cycle of always trying to heal something etc..

 

Paradoxical like most of life? Thoughts?

 

I have gone through long periods of doing things like EFT and other things where you work on yourself, for one six month period I was doing hours of Shamanic recapitulation every day which is somewhat similar to EFT as well as other practices to try to "erase my personal history", unblock my limitations and heal my traumas, and even though I felt I was making progress with my practice the way I was interacting with other people was getting worse and I was overall becoming more miserable and unhappy.

 

So there is a lesson in this I think, so much focus on your self is not healthy. Practises like EFT where you are deciding what you work on can easily be hijacked by the immature part of your ego which wants to get rid of what you don't like in yourself rather than make friends with it, which only causes more problems long term. The ego will never be happy because it works on comparisons and you will always find something or someone to compare against which will lead you to feeling you are not good enough.

 

Tibetan Buddhists say the only happiness you will find is in cherishing and working for others happiness rather than your own, so they would probably say that so much focus on trying to fix a self which doesn't even exist as a permanent entity is a waste of time if happiness is what you are after, which is something I am starting to see the truth in.

 

But then again I do think it is good to heal the ego, heal our traumas and do spiritual practice from a place of maturity, but how to do this without becoming fixated on yourself is the tricky part, so I guess I have no real answers.

[skydog]

Thanks for the replies...I guess we are unconcsiously motivated by our feelings and thoughts so being present is not the complete picture anyways...

 

Heres what Ive been doing- http://www.thetaobums.com/index.php?/topic/22443-eft-matrix-re-imprinting-with-nlp-the-work-positive-affirmations-and-bon

 

On there I've figured I need to be more present- so the way to do that is to breathe, pay attention to that, and other pointers to the now eg "allow what is to be, surrender to the isness of the moment, the now is all there is, time is a concept" as well as other portals feeling the feelings, watching the thoughts and feelings, looking or hearing without judging, and being aware of the tendency to escape the now..

 

So I guess its OK/good to do these things in cycles but when Im not doing them..try and live in the present moment.