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Ignorance is not bliss

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Things are always great at the beginning. When I first started my journey into spirituality it was with some wayne dyer books and cd's about a year ago. That led to Taoism and when I was there, everything was great. It was all so simple, I loved it. Than slowly I started to let go of Taosim as Buddhism started to intrigue me. Thing's were still simple yet it got a little complicated. I became more strict with myself to the point where I just let loose(not blaming buddhism in anyway, I myself was weak). Now it's been over a month that I have left my practices, broke many promises I had made to myself, and ignoring the truth. Fear has come back which I thought was a thing of the past. Ever since I was a kid I was afraid, afraid of what I never knew. It wasn't until I got into this spiritual journey and introduced love into my life that fear was completely gone. I was a new man, no longer afraid. But as I slowly turn away from spirituality that fear is starting to come back which I know is no good. I don't know why I'm writing this but I just felt like it. I will be starting my practice again because I can't live like this, being afraid. Ignorance may be bliss, but that bliss definitely does not last. Sh*t starts to get real XD

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Perhaps you were using your spiritual practice as a way of avoiding your fears, which is something I am guilty of myself. If so your spiritual practice may be a tool of repression rather than liberation.

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Often a month or two into serious sitting/emptiness practice a strange thing happens. You feel a little crazy. I think its because the mind is quieter and as the 1,000 random whispers the mind makes begin to subside, the whispers you do hear are louder and clearer.

 

Like so many things, the answer is more time and practice and you get to another level.. where something else can drive you a little nuts. :)

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The path has dips and mountains. Ommmmmm.

You've returned to your old ways because you missed them but now you see you cannot life by them anymore.

This might happen again. I do not know if you will eventually welcome your old ways and abandon spirituality.

I doubt it though. Either way this path is yours. Blessings of god-cat.

Ommmmmmmmmmmmm.

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