Cat Pillar

Emotional Release

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I've been thinking a lot about what exactly it is I'm looking for from a "spiritual experience," why I want one so badly. It's not so much the experience itself, but what I imagine the result would be.

 

It boils down to emotional release. I'm seeking something that can relieve the burden of everything I'm carrying inside. There's a phantom sensation that I can call up in my mind, a memory or idea of what I'm looking for feels like. The sensation is like that of a sudden release of pressure, followed by a cool wave rushing from head to toe, enveloping the body in a sense of lightness and freedom. It comes with a peace and contentment that is unmatched, and it's full of gratitude and joy. In this state, everything is beautiful and precious, and there is no desire to do anything other than be.

 

It's like I've experienced it before, but can't quite recall when or how. Its shadow appears when I think about what contentment would feel like, or when I daydream about being someone and somewhere else. It is so far from what I currently experience and feel, that it's difficult to track or hold for more than a fraction of a second.

 

A similar phantom sensation is evoked when I think about what it would be like to accept an imminent death. To know death is coming, and to completely accept it...not dwelling upon life and what's left undone, but rather to shrug off the yoke of obligations and regret and look brightly forward to the approaching mystery. The sense of complete freedom...

 

I wonder what's really keeping me from it...what's really holding me back from that sensation. Do I need a metaphysical experience to induce it? Somehow I think it's so much closer than I imagine. Where is the key? And...maybe more importantly...where is the door?

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I've been thinking a lot about what exactly it is I'm looking for from a "spiritual experience," why I want one so badly. It's not so much the experience itself, but what I imagine the result would be.

 

It boils down to emotional release. I'm seeking something that can relieve the burden of everything I'm carrying inside. There's a phantom sensation that I can call up in my mind, a memory or idea of what I'm looking for feels like. The sensation is like that of a sudden release of pressure, followed by a cool wave rushing from head to toe, enveloping the body in a sense of lightness and freedom. It comes with a peace and contentment that is unmatched, and it's full of gratitude and joy. In this state, everything is beautiful and precious, and there is no desire to do anything other than be.

 

It's like I've experienced it before, but can't quite recall when or how. Its shadow appears when I think about what contentment would feel like, or when I daydream about being someone and somewhere else. It is so far from what I currently experience and feel, that it's difficult to track or hold for more than a fraction of a second.

 

A similar phantom sensation is evoked when I think about what it would be like to accept an imminent death. To know death is coming, and to completely accept it...not dwelling upon life and what's left undone, but rather to shrug off the yoke of obligations and regret and look brightly forward to the approaching mystery. The sense of complete freedom...

 

I wonder what's really keeping me from it...what's really holding me back from that sensation. Do I need a metaphysical experience to induce it? Somehow I think it's so much closer than I imagine. Where is the key? And...maybe more importantly...where is the door?

 

You are seeking for the sake of seeking. Believing that something right now is 'wrong' and that you have to find what's 'right'

 

Your idea about a spiritual experience going to fix all your shit, pay your bills, floss your teeth, is just that. An idea. There is no door to step through. There is no fucking key either. These are nothing but beliefs you apply to the future.

 

Stop bullshitting yourself. Find out what you really want. Sounds to me like you rather want to trip on shrooms or acid. And if that's the case, then go fucking do it.

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You are seeking for the sake of seeking. Believing that something right now is 'wrong' and that you have to find what's 'right'

 

Your idea about a spiritual experience going to fix all your shit, pay your bills, floss your teeth, is just that. An idea. There is no door to step through. There is no fucking key either. These are nothing but beliefs you apply to the future.

 

Stop bullshitting yourself. Find out what you really want. Sounds to me like you rather want to trip on shrooms or acid. And if that's the case, then go fucking do it.

 

Not much for abstract metaphor, are you?

 

I don't recall mentioning an expectation that a spiritual experience would pay my bills or floss my teeth. "Fix all my shit" is probably a valid criticism, but I'm not really expecting to "fix" anything except getting rid of all the shit I'm holding inside. Hence "emotional release."

 

Your response is probably colored by the recent activity in the entheogens thread. I'm not interested in "tripping" just to have a good time. That would be meaningless to me.

 

I do think something is wrong, though.

 

What I really want? Not a fucking clue. I want to enjoy life. I want to die. I want to be a musician. I want to be a martial artist. I want to be an artist that's really good at drawing things. I want to be a physicist. I want to be a meteorologist. I want to be a chef. I want to be a powerful sorcerer. I want to be a wise sage. I want money. No wait, I want power. No wait, I want wisdom. No wait, I want love. Want, want, want...constantly shifting, constantly changing. I can't point to a single thing and say "I want that," because tomorrow I'll want something else entirely.

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It sounded to me from your first post that you want relief from your suffering, that is what I want too all the powers and mind-blowing experiences come secondary to that

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Not much for abstract metaphor, are you?

 

I don't recall mentioning an expectation that a spiritual experience would pay my bills or floss my teeth. "Fix all my shit" is probably a valid criticism, but I'm not really expecting to "fix" anything except getting rid of all the shit I'm holding inside. Hence "emotional release."

 

Are you fucking serious, look how much you contradict yourself. There is no difference between expecting it to pay your bills or for it to dump your emotional garbage. You are expecting a FIX when there is in fact no fucking thing to fix. Have fun searching.

 

Also. If you think that I'm doing this to criticize you then you are very wrong. Stop applying filters and just taking in the parts that you enjoy. Valid criticism, non valid criticism.. what a joke. Don't take in ANYTHING. Question every word you read and see for yourself.

 

I do think something is wrong, though.

 

Don't be vague. Find out. Go all the way

There is not a single thing that's wrong with life, who is actually judging reality as wrong? You?

 

Are you saying that 'you' are somehow seperate from the universe and also above it, giving you the right to say it's WRONG and it should be like ___ (insert any future wishful scenario)

 

I could tell you that the very sense of seperation is what you experience as the thing thats wrong, but I know that you won't understand any of this unless you find out for yourself.

 

What I really want? Not a fucking clue. I want to enjoy life.

 

That's great. Everything else you wrote after that is just a bunch of ideas and roles you think will somehow make you feel whole. The even better thing is that YOU don't have to WANT for life to be enjoyed for it to happen. It happens automatically. I'm not saying life is constant bliss and joy. It's not. But everything happens, there is no need for YOU to control life.

 

If you want to enjoy life then could I recommend that you drop all of this endless spiritual search you are doing and actually go out and let life enjoy itself?

 

Do you want to enjoy life or do you want to sit and think about how to do it?

Edited by Bluefront

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The sensation is like that of a sudden release of pressure, followed by a cool wave rushing from head to toe, enveloping the body in a sense of lightness and freedom. It comes with a peace and contentment that is unmatched, and it's full of gratitude and joy. In this state, everything is beautiful and precious, and there is no desire to do anything other than be.

 

It's like I've experienced it before, but can't quite recall when or how. Its shadow appears when I think about what contentment would feel like, or when I daydream about being someone and somewhere else. It is so far from what I currently experience and feel, that it's difficult to track or hold for more than a fraction of a second.

 

This sounds like a recollection of the moment you were conceived, and consciousness arose, from the very subtle, to subtle, to where it is now.

 

If you read up on the Skandhas you might find a very practical understanding of how individuals, though all different, have some basic affinity with this uncreated sense of union of being and non-being, which is known as primordial purity, according to some buddhist texts. This union is your original state, which is basically a state of nondescript - beyond intellect, and is indescribable. Even words like contentment, peace and undiluted bliss only goes so far as pointers.

 

As consciousness moves from the subtlest levels to the grosser levels, discrimination (dualistic perceptions) follows, also arising in tandem with the mushrooming of consciousness.

 

Anyway, its no use for me to go into too much explanation here as there will be some who would see this from differing perspectives, which only goes to show the validity of the Skandhas.

 

Wiki offers quite a detailed explanation on the Skandhas - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skandha

 

Hope you find the way.

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It boils down to emotional release. I'm seeking something that can relieve the burden of everything I'm carrying inside.

I think you're asking excellent questions, Cat Pillar. You are paying attention to what ails you, and that is, IME, a path of liberation.

 

The "phantom sensations" as you call it, sound very useful for listening to the state of quiet, that is under the state of agitation.

 

For me, there are two important forms of meditation: yin and yang. In one, I pay attention to the clarity and ease that beckons me towards it. In the other, I listen to the anxiety and pain that bind me. I see no reason to ignore either. One leads me forward, the other clears the path.

 

Best of luck.

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There are a few folks here on TTBs that I've mentioned what my husband Joe has been going through with chocolate. He's been getting up in the middle of the night...getting dressed....going to the store and coming back with a pound or so of Hershey's Kisses. He eats them all, makes a total mess of his room, and he wakes up hating himself every single morning. In essence, this was the 'dry drunk' of the alcoholic who's not drinking.

 

He has finally gotten through this, I'm so happy to report. The way he did it was because I had him look for a memory of when he was 8 years old. The reason I chose 8, was because every time he would get angry the last few weeks (during this episode) he would act out an 8 year old! He would throw things around....he would go into childish snits....the number 8 just kept coming to me.

 

He got down to it. Once he allowed himself to get through the anger he spent a full day in his room, and he started crying. And crying. and crying. He realized the anger stemmed from a molestation that happened to him when he was 8 - it was his step-father's drunken brother. Joe has always had this memory, he's told me about it before. But he always talked about it with no emotion at all, almost as though "wasn't everyone brought up that way?" Something inside him separated when that was happening to him, and the Other that showed up had a terribly hard shell that protected him from this memory. It wasn't until the recent breakage of the shell that the two are now merged into the One, in that particular area.

 

He had never grieved this occurrence when he should have, when he was 8. But he felt a tremendous amount of self-pity in his tears the other day for that young child inside.

 

And oh yeah. He no longer goes out at night for chocolate.

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I've been thinking a lot about what exactly it is I'm looking for from a "spiritual experience," why I want one so badly. It's not so much the experience itself, but what I imagine the result would be.

 

It boils down to emotional release. I'm seeking something that can relieve the burden of everything I'm carrying inside. There's a phantom sensation that I can call up in my mind, a memory or idea of what I'm looking for feels like. The sensation is like that of a sudden release of pressure, followed by a cool wave rushing from head to toe, enveloping the body in a sense of lightness and freedom. It comes with a peace and contentment that is unmatched, and it's full of gratitude and joy. In this state, everything is beautiful and precious, and there is no desire to do anything other than be.

 

It's like I've experienced it before, but can't quite recall when or how. Its shadow appears when I think about what contentment would feel like, or when I daydream about being someone and somewhere else. It is so far from what I currently experience and feel, that it's difficult to track or hold for more than a fraction of a second.

 

A similar phantom sensation is evoked when I think about what it would be like to accept an imminent death. To know death is coming, and to completely accept it...not dwelling upon life and what's left undone, but rather to shrug off the yoke of obligations and regret and look brightly forward to the approaching mystery. The sense of complete freedom...

 

I wonder what's really keeping me from it...what's really holding me back from that sensation. Do I need a metaphysical experience to induce it? Somehow I think it's so much closer than I imagine. Where is the key? And...maybe more importantly...where is the door?

I don't know if searching for a metaphysical experience is the best way to approach this problem.

One might occur but rarely when sought...

 

You carry a "burden inside" as do we all. Does that burden really create a situation in which there is no possibility of happiness?

If you think so, where do you think that idea came from?

Can you look at the burdens closely and deeply and see why they create that illusion?

Can you find a place to make room for these burdens and just be with them?

Is it possible for happiness to exist alongside?

Can you say to them with sincerity - my happiness is not dependent on relieving myself of these burdens?

This is one approach that could shed some light on the relationship you've established with these burdens.

Good luck.

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There are a few folks here on TTBs that I've mentioned what my husband Joe has been going through with chocolate. He's been getting up in the middle of the night...getting dressed....going to the store and coming back with a pound or so of Hershey's Kisses. He eats them all, makes a total mess of his room, and he wakes up hating himself every single morning. In essence, this was the 'dry drunk' of the alcoholic who's not drinking.

 

He has finally gotten through this, I'm so happy to report. The way he did it was because I had him look for a memory of when he was 8 years old. The reason I chose 8, was because every time he would get angry the last few weeks (during this episode) he would act out an 8 year old! He would throw things around....he would go into childish snits....the number 8 just kept coming to me.

 

He got down to it. Once he allowed himself to get through the anger he spent a full day in his room, and he started crying. And crying. and crying. He realized the anger stemmed from a molestation that happened to him when he was 8 - it was his step-father's drunken brother. Joe has always had this memory, he's told me about it before. But he always talked about it with no emotion at all, almost as though "wasn't everyone brought up that way?" Something inside him separated when that was happening to him, and the Other that showed up had a terribly hard shell that protected him from this memory. It wasn't until the recent breakage of the shell that the two are now merged into the One, in that particular area.

 

He had never grieved this occurrence when he should have, when he was 8. But he felt a tremendous amount of self-pity in his tears the other day for that young child inside.

 

And oh yeah. He no longer goes out at night for chocolate.

_/\_

:wub:

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Hey you might want to look into some of Osho's meditations. A lot of them are about catharsis to release emotions.

 

There's a book called The Orange Book / Meditation Techniques of Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh that I would really really recommend.

 

If you're interested here is an amazon link...

http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/0880506970/ref=sr_1_2_up_1_main_olp?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1307743612&sr=1-2&condition=used

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Jetsun,

 

It sounded to me from your first post that you want relief from your suffering, that is what I want too all the powers and mind-blowing experiences come secondary to that

 

Agreed.

 

---------------------------------------------------

 

Bluefront,

 

Are you fucking serious, look how much you contradict yourself. There is no difference between expecting it to pay your bills or for it to dump your emotional garbage. You are expecting a FIX when there is in fact no fucking thing to fix. Have fun searching.

 

I've always considered my psychological state as something "wrong" that requires fixing.

 

Also. If you think that I'm doing this to criticize you then you are very wrong. Stop applying filters and just taking in the parts that you enjoy. Valid criticism, non valid criticism.. what a joke. Don't take in ANYTHING. Question every word you read and see for yourself.

 

I stand corrected.

 

Don't be vague. Find out. Go all the way

There is not a single thing that's wrong with life, who is actually judging reality as wrong? You?

 

Are you saying that 'you' are somehow seperate from the universe and also above it, giving you the right to say it's WRONG and it should be like ___ (insert any future wishful scenario)

 

I never said the universe was wrong - I think there's something wrong with "me". I don't believe that by finding something wrong with myself this means that I find something wrong with the universe. Nor do I think that I have to consider myself above the universe to see something wrong with myself.

 

I don't blame the world or reality for my problems, I blame myself. That's why I'm trying to "fix" myself.

 

I could tell you that the very sense of seperation is what you experience as the thing thats wrong, but I know that you won't understand any of this unless you find out for yourself.

 

And I find out for myself by not looking for it? Didn't you tell me to stop seeking? Wouldn't the realization of Oneness be considered a spiritual experience, which you tell me I shouldn't look for?

 

That's great. Everything else you wrote after that is just a bunch of ideas and roles you think will somehow make you feel whole. The even better thing is that YOU don't have to WANT for life to be enjoyed for it to happen. It happens automatically. I'm not saying life is constant bliss and joy. It's not. But everything happens, there is no need for YOU to control life.

 

If you want to enjoy life then could I recommend that you drop all of this endless spiritual search you are doing and actually go out and let life enjoy itself?

 

Do you want to enjoy life or do you want to sit and think about how to do it?

 

If it happens automatically, shouldn't I be enjoying life right now? What does it actually mean to "go out and let life enjoy itself?" I don't understand the method by which one would apply that suggestion.

 

By the way, I appreciate your blunt and challenging responses. I hope you keep 'em coming.

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This sounds like a recollection of the moment you were conceived, and consciousness arose, from the very subtle, to subtle, to where it is now.

 

If you read up on the Skandhas you might find a very practical understanding of how individuals, though all different, have some basic affinity with this uncreated sense of union of being and non-being, which is known as primordial purity, according to some buddhist texts. This union is your original state, which is basically a state of nondescript - beyond intellect, and is indescribable. Even words like contentment, peace and undiluted bliss only goes so far as pointers.

 

As consciousness moves from the subtlest levels to the grosser levels, discrimination (dualistic perceptions) follows, also arising in tandem with the mushrooming of consciousness.

 

Anyway, its no use for me to go into too much explanation here as there will be some who would see this from differing perspectives, which only goes to show the validity of the Skandhas.

 

Wiki offers quite a detailed explanation on the Skandhas - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skandha

 

Hope you find the way.

 

An interesting take on the phantom sensation, thank you for the input. I started reading the Skandha article, but will have to come back to it as it's pretty long.

 

--------------------------------------------

 

Trunk,

 

Thanks for the suggestion! I'll have to check out those youtube videos in the thread when I'm on a computer with speakers, or at least some headphones. Sounds very interesting.

 

--------------------------------------------

 

Otis,

 

I think you're asking excellent questions, Cat Pillar. You are paying attention to what ails you, and that is, IME, a path of liberation.

 

The "phantom sensations" as you call it, sound very useful for listening to the state of quiet, that is under the state of agitation.

 

For me, there are two important forms of meditation: yin and yang. In one, I pay attention to the clarity and ease that beckons me towards it. In the other, I listen to the anxiety and pain that bind me. I see no reason to ignore either. One leads me forward, the other clears the path.

 

Best of luck.

 

Thanks!

 

Do you do both types in a single session or alternate?

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Good perception about the contradiction. But that's not my point. I'm saying it in the sense of realizing that there is nothing external to find out, no hidden piece of knowledge in some scripture, no special meditation technique. LOOK within. There is everything you will ever need.

The seeking is what is causing the seperation. Obviously the only way to stop it is to drop the seeking. But this isn't something that can be 'done' in the way one normally does things.

 

You have to actually see the futility of the search for yourself. For example.

Let's say you have some anxiety at this very moment.

Now think, "how would I really want to feel at this moment?"

This very desire for something other than what is, is what is causing the seperation and it manifests as anxiety, depression whatever. Can you see now that anxiety is pretty much self-sustaining and can go on forever unless it's seen through?

 

I've always considered my psychological state as something "wrong" that requires fixing.

 

You don't even know what you are trying to fix. Your psychological state? Wtf is that. A bunch of thoughts? Feelings? Dissect this "psychological state" into it's smaller components. Be very clear with yourself. No room for vague ideas and concepts.

 

WIKI:

Dissection is usually the process of disassembling and observing something to determine its internal structure and as an aid to discerning the functions and relationships of its components.

 

When doing this ask yourself:

Who is observing whatever it is you are dissecting?

You claimed it is "your state". That your psychological state is YOU. How can that be, if you are now looking at it as an object? Who is looking? Who did the dissecting in the first place? Was there someone behind it, or did it just happen?

 

I never said the universe was wrong - I think there's something wrong with "me". I don't believe that by finding something wrong with myself this means that I find something wrong with the universe. Nor do I think that I have to consider myself above the universe to see something wrong with myself.

 

THERE IS NO SEPERATION BETWEEN YOU AND REALITY.

 

"There is the universe, here am I." <-- CAUSE OF SUFFERING

 

The universe includes everything. Everything is interconnected in a beatiful play we call life.

Don't mentally masturbate over this please. Look for yourself. You have to see it or all is pointless.

 

Look at experience in THIS MOMENT. You can call it the universe, the now, reality, life.

Really focus and look. Is there a "you" experiencing all of this, or is there actually no experiencer, just this experience?

 

This imagined "you" is what is causing seperation and also judging everything as good and bad, taking everything personally etc..

 

If it happens automatically, shouldn't I be enjoying life right now? What does it actually mean to "go out and let life enjoy itself?" I don't understand the method by which one would apply that suggestion.

 

Who said life is a dance on clouds? There is no reason life should be enjoyed now. There is also no reason it shouldn't. You have to burn your beliefs about how things should and shouldn't be. Look at what is.

 

Ofcource you don't understand this "METHOD". The gears in your brain get jammed when you just try to think about letting life happen without someone controlling it.

 

This isn't something YOU can do, because the very belief of there being a YOU that's able to do these controlling things is the root problem.

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Good perception about the contradiction. But that's not my point. I'm saying it in the sense of realizing that there is nothing external to find out, no hidden piece of knowledge in some scripture, no special meditation technique. LOOK within. There is everything you will ever need.

The seeking is what is causing the seperation. Obviously the only way to stop it is to drop the seeking. But this isn't something that can be 'done' in the way one normally does things.

 

You have to actually see the futility of the search for yourself. For example.

Let's say you have some anxiety at this very moment.

Now think, "how would I really want to feel at this moment?"

This very desire for something other than what is, is what is causing the seperation and it manifests as anxiety, depression whatever. Can you see now that anxiety is pretty much self-sustaining and can go on forever unless it's seen through?

 

 

 

You don't even know what you are trying to fix. Your psychological state? Wtf is that. A bunch of thoughts? Feelings? Dissect this "psychological state" into it's smaller components. Be very clear with yourself. No room for vague ideas and concepts.

 

WIKI:

Dissection is usually the process of disassembling and observing something to determine its internal structure and as an aid to discerning the functions and relationships of its components.

 

When doing this ask yourself:

Who is observing whatever it is you are dissecting?

You claimed it is "your state". That your psychological state is YOU. How can that be, if you are now looking at it as an object? Who is looking? Who did the dissecting in the first place? Was there someone behind it, or did it just happen?

 

 

 

THERE IS NO SEPERATION BETWEEN YOU AND REALITY.

 

"There is the universe, here am I." <-- CAUSE OF SUFFERING

 

The universe includes everything. Everything is interconnected in a beatiful play we call life.

Don't mentally masturbate over this please. Look for yourself. You have to see it or all is pointless.

 

Look at experience in THIS MOMENT. You can call it the universe, the now, reality, life.

Really focus and look. Is there a "you" experiencing all of this, or is there actually no experiencer, just this experience?

 

This imagined "you" is what is causing seperation and also judging everything as good and bad, taking everything personally etc..

 

 

 

Who said life is a dance on clouds? There is no reason life should be enjoyed now. There is also no reason it shouldn't. You have to burn your beliefs about how things should and shouldn't be. Look at what is.

 

Ofcource you don't understand this "METHOD". The gears in your brain get jammed when you just try to think about letting life happen without someone controlling it.

 

This isn't something YOU can do, because the very belief of there being a YOU that's able to do these controlling things is the root problem.

Well put! _/\_

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Otis,

 

Do you do both types in a single session or alternate?

I don't choose; just get moving and see where my system calls me.

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I never said the universe was wrong - I think there's something wrong with "me". I don't believe that by finding something wrong with myself this means that I find something wrong with the universe. Nor do I think that I have to consider myself above the universe to see something wrong with myself.

 

I don't blame the world or reality for my problems, I blame myself. That's why I'm trying to "fix" myself.

Whether I think the universe is wrong or I think I'm wrong, I'm still saying "this is not how it's supposed to be". But that's just comparing what is to a mental model, and actually making the model, more important than what's real.

 

"I'm what's wrong" is just a judgment, that has within it, no path out of wrongness.

 

"I have not yet learned how to successfully navigate this terrain" is an honest assessment that actually suggests a solution: practice in the terrain.

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I will eventually reply in full to this thread, but bluefront has actually given me a lot to chew on and I'm trying to give an honest go at his suggestions before making a full reply.

 

That and I'm stupid busy.

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I find that a very helpful question is "Why am I manifesting this?" It is from this question that triangulation of vision can occur.

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I will eventually reply in full to this thread, but bluefront has actually given me a lot to chew on and I'm trying to give an honest go at his suggestions before making a full reply.

 

That and I'm stupid busy.

 

Do this for yourself, you have no obligations to post here or keep us updated. There are priorities.

Don't turn this into a new belief system. This is not about adopting something. Not about reaching some imagined future point.

 

This is very simple. You simply look. Is there a you experiencing reality at this moment, or is it only assumed, at best only a fleeting thought? You don't look so hard you strain yourself. If you think there is a blue turtle under your chair, you simply look and see it's not there. It's the same kind of looking.

 

And remember, like yoda said, There is no try!

 

You can only do or not do. That's it!

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Do this for yourself, you have no obligations to post here or keep us updated. There are priorities.

Don't turn this into a new belief system. This is not about adopting something. Not about reaching some imagined future point.

 

This is very simple. You simply look. Is there a you experiencing reality at this moment, or is it only assumed, at best only a fleeting thought? You don't look so hard you strain yourself. If you think there is a blue turtle under your chair, you simply look and see it's not there. It's the same kind of looking.

 

And remember, like yoda said, There is no try!

 

You can only do or not do. That's it!

 

Funny...I was about to mentally masturbate all over this. I just now paused and thought for a second, and took a look at experience.

 

All I can say is that there's an experience of reality. I can't say anything about what/who is experiencing without introducing assumptions.

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I also came across another insight while surfing the interwebs. I came across this site:

 

http://users.aristotle.net/~diogenes/meaning1.htm

 

In the section about being unhappy, they essentially say it comes down to deciding whether or not you'll be happy.

 

My immediate knee-jerk reaction to that is "you can't just DECIDE something like that!" The true reason for resistance to that concept is that in order to be able to simply decide to be happy, I would first have to drop all preconceptions of what it means to be happy.

 

These preconditions for happiness I have in my head are like sacred cows...for some reason their importance is paramount. I think it's likely that much of my sense of self is based around these preconditions...a threat to the conditioning is a threat to my sense of "self" and therefore receives an immediate survival response of rejection.

 

So, an experiment to try would be to consciously challenge the preconditions and literally just decide to experience happiness.

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I also came across another insight while surfing the interwebs. I came across this site:

 

http://users.aristotle.net/~diogenes/meaning1.htm

 

In the section about being unhappy, they essentially say it comes down to deciding whether or not you'll be happy.

 

My immediate knee-jerk reaction to that is "you can't just DECIDE something like that!" The true reason for resistance to that concept is that in order to be able to simply decide to be happy, I would first have to drop all preconceptions of what it means to be happy.

 

These preconditions for happiness I have in my head are like sacred cows...for some reason their importance is paramount. I think it's likely that much of my sense of self is based around these preconditions...a threat to the conditioning is a threat to my sense of "self" and therefore receives an immediate survival response of rejection.

 

So, an experiment to try would be to consciously challenge the preconditions and literally just decide to experience happiness.

 

That's a nice reflective thought, Cat. Challenging the preconditions. I would think that would kick off a nice inner journey. It's a crack you can get into and have some fun with...

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