Cosmiken

F*cking Lost

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Before I begin, I would like to state; bitching over the internet is my last resort.

 

I've been trying to go with the flow. I've been trying not to go with the flow. I've been trying to find peace. But I'm coming up with nothing.

 

I have a copy of Tao Te Ching, and I've been reading it. I do believe that there is a force that carries life, and I know there are people who know how to be happy and successful in it.

 

I may not deserve to utilize it, because I'm thinking only of myself.

 

I am a very sad person right now.

 

I just need help. Anyone who has anything to say is welcome to at this time. Thank you.

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You can always change your life, if you're not happy where you are find a new beginning, in this day and age we have that privilege . Unless you're in huge debt or a wanted criminal just move to another place and try a new life.

I'm not sure if when you said "last" you were implying that you may take your own life, but changing it(life) is better than ending it, you've already experienced misery, end it now and you pass up the chance for experiencing the good stuff.

Live through it and make the changes YOU want so that life can get better. If you don't know what you want find something you don't mind doing and go one from there.

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Do you mind elaborating on the situation a little bit? Can you give any specifics as to your situation?

 

The main problem a lot of people face is a lack of specificity. They know that something is wrong, but they don't know what SPECIFICALLY is wrong. They know they want to change, but they don't know SPECIFICALLY how they want to change their lives.

 

Take some time and think about your life. Get a pen/pencil and paper, or work on the computer, listen to music, do whatever it takes for you to get into a the right mood, and start sorting out where you are in life, where you though you would be 5 years ago, where you want to be in 5 years, what you have been doing wrong, and what you have been doing right. What things in your life need to stay, what things need to go, what things do you need to be doing better?

 

Once you find out what's wrong and what you want to change, well then you get to the easy part (well it's not easy, let's just say, you reach the "less hard" part), and those are taking the steps necessary to make the change you want.

 

I think that "going with the flow" is something a lot of people get hung up on, and that's really hard because, well, what is the flow? How do you know when you are going with it or against it? There are a lot of different opinions on that.

 

In those instances, the best thing to do is just do what you can and do what feels comfortable for you to do. What is going to fix the problem?

Edited by Sloppy Zhang

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Besides what these awesome people will tell you, which you should listen to, I'd advise that you do one simple thing that will make you feel so much better: simply take the corners of your mouth and lift them up a little, into the smallest, most relaxed smile you can manage.

:)

 

Just keep that little smile, and everything will seem easier.

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I was getting pretty depressed after my father and grandmother died within a few weeks of each other in February/March, and I then had to deal with a lot administrative stuff that I knew nothing about. Also started becoming an insomniac, waking up at 3:00 or 4:00 AM, and not always falling back asleep.

 

What I've found to be helpful (for me) is to go for a walk outdoors every morning, and sometimes in the evening. I don't try to go especially fast or anything. After a few weeks of this, my mood has improved considerably...you may find it to be worth a try. Also continued my qigong practice, although my seated meditation practice has ceased, temporarily.

 

Other people speak highly of cleaning up their home and throwing out unnecessary stuff as a good natural anti-depressant.

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Thanks to everyone.

 

No, not thinking of suicide.

 

That smile thing might work.

 

Not to into the Zappas.

 

Cosmiken is short for Cosmic Kenji (see avatar)

 

Exercise and cleaning? CHYEA RIGHT!

 

On a serious note, I'm feeling better now. Thanks again.

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Hey Cosmiken,

 

I've been trying to go with the flow. I've been trying not to go with the flow. I've been trying to find peace. But I'm coming up with nothing.

 

What I'm about to say won't help you directly, but... the problem is that you're trying so hard. You've already got "it", but expecting something other than this is causing the pain.

 

So really there's nothing you can do, because there's nothing to do.

 

But it can also help to do Taoist practices.

 

Anyway, peace and best of luck to you! I think you will be fine!

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Sometimes when I get lost I say "F*ck it" and that tends to help.

 

I'm being serious, there is a point at which whatever got you to the point you're at has fulfilled it's purpose. I.e. it got you to that point that you're at.

 

So if you'd rather not be at that point, it means that whatever got you there is no longer "working". I.e it won't get you to where you want to be, because if it did, you'd be dandy with where you're at.

 

There are a few options at this point:

 

- Give up/let go and "go with the flow" (equivalent of "f*ck it") because it's going somewhere anyway, but you have to have a lot of faith that it's going somewhere you want. IME it just goes wherever it goes and it's actually less painful to deal with overall. This is my version of Wu-wei.

 

- Establish where it is you want to go and determine whether this would require upstream or downstream action to get you there (or mountain-climbing, but I'm not so good with that one as an analogy for other reasons) This may require Kung Fu or just very good swimming skills.

 

If you are depressed (and - big generality alert - men tend to have different experiences when it comes to depression than women do) it would be a good idea to address that issue. The others may spontaneously resolve following that. It may require Kung Fu;-) And it may also only require hitting up the TTB's for a laugh on an occasional basis.

 

Diet and exercise are the number one recommendations I've seen on here that actually do work.

 

Smiling. It's stupid, simple and it works :)

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Thanks to everyone.

 

No, not thinking of suicide.

 

That smile thing might work.

 

Not to into the Zappas.

 

Cosmiken is short for Cosmic Kenji (see avatar)

 

Exercise and cleaning? CHYEA RIGHT!

 

On a serious note, I'm feeling better now. Thanks again.

 

Glad to hear you're feeling better.

 

Just so you know that lung damage causes sadness -- so if you smoke that's the reason you're sad. I've encountered smokers who are depressed numerous times -- and then I have to clear out their sadness. I had a coworker quit smoking when I told him that and his sadness vanished.

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My advice,

 

Go outside where the trees and flowers grow freely and stand there watching them with eyes closed and feeling them as well as any other noises you may hear. Just stand there quietly adopting this posture and focus in your breathing coming in through your nostrils and all the way down to your belly, then exhale slowly and focus on that outside movement as well.

 

Do this exercise every day if you can. Go slowly and without seeking or expecting anything. At the end of your session say thank you to the spirits that inhabit that place for letting you share the energy of the trees, plants and flowers and finally pray to the Divine and ask for forgiveness, purification and guidance in this life. Your answers will be heard if your heart is pure and free of evil.

 

All the best.

 

:)

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Changes take action, moving in a different direction w/ optimism.

 

Changing the state of mind with The Secret Smile is a uniquely positive charging practice that has helped many people, if they do it regularly. I recommend doing it or a shortened version each time you use the wash room.

 

Changing the state of the body w/ regular exercise, or tai chi, chi gung, long walks etc.

 

 

Here is a link: http://www.thetaobums.com/index.php?/topic/9719-dr-morriss-secret-smile-breathing-basic-kap-1-giri-for-the-tao-bumbs/page__p__116420__hl__secret%20smile__fromsearch__1entry116420

 

Another Post on Getting Rid of Negative Energy:

http://www.thetaobums.com/index.php?/topic/13624-easy-ways-to-get-rid-of-negative-energy-and-build-positive-energy/page__p__176084__fromsearch__1entry176084

 

Michael

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My advice,

 

Go outside where the trees and flowers grow freely and stand there watching them with eyes closed and feeling them as well as any other noises you may hear. Just stand there quietly adopting this posture and focus in your breathing coming in through your nostrils and all the way down to your belly, then exhale slowly and focus on that outside movement as well.

 

Do this exercise every day if you can. Go slowly and without seeking or expecting anything. At the end of your session say thank you to the spirits that inhabit that place for letting you share the energy of the trees, plants and flowers and finally pray to the Divine and ask for forgiveness, purification and guidance in this life. Your answers will be heard if your heart is pure and free of evil.

 

All the best.

 

:)

 

My friend, we may not agree on everything, but you excel yourself on occasions with excellent advice.

:)

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