TheSongsofDistantEarth Posted September 25, 2009 New, at the Apple App Store, a brand new 5 star rated app for you iPhone to increase functionality... The TaoBums iPhone App 1.0 Features: -patented 'on the fly' canned posts with expressions such as "dude!", "You're wrong!""suck my yellow robes, Buddhist!","eat rancid bean curd, Taoist!" and many, many more!! -new, 'smilies' with all new expressions, and features...in addition to the standard caucasian, there are Asian smilies, African smilies, American Indian smilies, and the blended oh so current 'Tiger Woods' smilies! -exclusive!--Hand Mudra feature to communicate your thoughts through hand and finger mudras!! includes the popular 'Jade Stalk Finger Salute'!! -Kunlun "mega-zapper"! -Matrix-like flying martial arts battles programmable betwen yourself and any other member, set in 'Ancient Temple', 'Silky Palace Bedroom', 'Snowy Graveyard at Night', 'Sooty Hong Kong Rooftop', 'Alley Behind Chinese Restaurant'! -'Steaming Cup of Jasmine Green Tea' feature to create special ambiance while composing serene responses to posts -Tinkly Chinese Taoist 3D Music function to project holographically into any room! -'Kundalini Rising' feature to spectacularly raise kundalini instantly and effortlessly while you listen to favorite iTunes! (special ear-bud electrodes with perineal extensors may be ordered separately from the Apple Store) -Special 'Dunking Booth' where you can use your on screen cursor to throw a ball and get a chance to dunk: -Marblehead -findley -goldisheavy -Mal -michaelz -Scotty -Vajrasattva -Stigweard and the entire new moderating team -Choose between the dreamy SereneBlue wallpaper and the Sean (photoshopped) shaking hands with the Dalai Lama wallpaper! -Patented new and powerful Vajrahridaya Button with 'Augmenter' and Suppressor' functions!! -Dr. Glenn J. Morris Ghost-Generator function with full fortune telling abilities enabled!! -Auto-Meditator with Microcosmic Orbit Enhancement function! -New 'iZhan-Zhuang' function will allow your iPhone to 'Stand Like a tree' for you for up to 3 hours while you nap, answer emails, go to Starbucks, brew some chai, run errands, etc.,!! -Supreme Inner-Smile Generator with full vibrate mode enables the male or female user (with supplemental attachments) to slip the iPhone in your front pocket and generate that 'best orgasmic experience' at will!!!! Many more to follow in version 2.0!!!!! Submit your suggestions NOW to our team of software app developers and win a TaoBums iPhone!!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tao99 Posted September 25, 2009 Now that's funny, and some mighty fine writing I find all of it interesting. My only suggestions for this app would be: 1. Hopefully this site will be "the most open site on the web" where: "any practice/any point can be supported or critiqued as strongly as you like. " 2. And the modding will be ritualistically fair between the oldies and the suddenly new 'outsiders' who occasionally roar through here. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pax Posted September 26, 2009 BAAAHAAAAA!!!! That was excellent!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JustARandomPanda Posted September 27, 2009 ROFLMAO!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Adam West Posted September 27, 2009 Hahaha... I think all us blokes just want to see the dreamy SereneBlue wallpaper! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NeiChuan Posted September 27, 2009 Lmao.. I really want it now.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mal Posted September 27, 2009 *going to shop to buy iPhone* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vajrahridaya Posted September 27, 2009 Coming on version 2.0 our comic relief addition to test if we are taking ourselves too seriously from the one and only... "The Songs of Distant Earth." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Marblehead Posted September 27, 2009 That was cute Songs. Nice new hobby you found there. Happy Trails! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stigweard Posted September 27, 2009 What?!! Are you guys telling me you don't have this app already?? Check out my iPhone wallpaper... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Marblehead Posted September 27, 2009 I tried the slide to unlock her but it wouldn't budge. Oh well. Happy Trails! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vajrahridaya Posted September 27, 2009 cyber chastity garter. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Marblehead Posted September 27, 2009 cyber chastity garter. Most likely. Happy Trails! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stigweard Posted September 27, 2009 ROFLMAO!!!! Sorry SereneBlue All in good fun. (I should do a poll on how many guys actually try and slide the bar ) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Marblehead Posted September 27, 2009 ROFLMAO!!!! Sorry SereneBlue All in good fun. (I should do a poll on how many guys actually try and slide the bar ) Dear Serene, I do apologize but I just couldn't resist the temptation. I hope you get a laugh out of it all. Happy Trails! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andrei Posted September 28, 2009 -Supreme Inner-Smile Generator with full vibrate mode enables the male or female user (with supplemental attachments) to slip the iPhone in your front pocket and generate that 'best orgasmic experience' at will!!!! Many more to follow in version 2.0!!!!! should include an accesory kit for aneros users and orgasmic ladies which can share a shaktipat session syncronized through a videoconference Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Adam West Posted September 28, 2009 Nice one! Hey is it just me, or is SereneBlue a dreamy Elf or perhaps a mesmerizing Vulcan with pointy ears??? Ether way, I feel a little light headed And yes, I too found myself sliding the bar, to no good effect... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted September 28, 2009 (edited) I'm surprised that a discount for one of those prostate massage devices wasn't thrown in. Edited September 28, 2009 by lino Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted September 28, 2009 should include an accesory kit for aneros users and orgasmic ladies which can share a shaktipat session syncronized through a videoconference DANG!! You beat me to it Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
markern Posted September 28, 2009 ROFLMAO!!!! Sorry SereneBlue All in good fun. (I should do a poll on how many guys actually try and slide the bar ) I did Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
