Vajrasattva

Global Full Moon Shaktipat sept 3rd 11pm est

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Thank you very much Santi. It was once again a great experience. Also I've taken KAP 1 and 2 w/ Tao and was wondering how many weeks the PSD class is because it's not listed as having an end date on the schedule.

 

Its "roughly 6 weeks" the classes are 1 to 2 hours long depending on what we are covering.

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It was interesting up until the part where Susan started talking about Shiva/Shakti having sex. The moment she started describing all the sex stuff I plunged into a Hell Pit of Depression the likes of which I have seldom ever experienced.

 

I'm still reeling from the sledgehammer blows even today.

 

I don't understand why her mention of sex has filled me with this horrible, hellish depression I can not seem to shake. All my normal "dissolve the mind - it's only extraneous, unneccessary story" meditations, listening to music, painting, playing my guitar, going for a walk both last night and today, playing a video game (FF 10 again), trying to read a SF novel (Old Man's War)...nothing is working to lift me out of this Pit of Hell. I can not summon up even a sliver of willpower to do any KAP today.

Had I known shaktipat would do this I think I would've been far more hesitant to participate.

:(

 

Susan was talking about something that was actually there occuring in the 3rd eye , the natural forces actually where in a "Yab/Yum" . Shiva & Shakti are in constant Union otherwise you & I seize to exist....

 

Its Tantric way for Taoist way of saying Yin & Yang are in a constant dance into one force.

 

Why is it a "pit of Hell"? Its just something requires self understanding, Love, Healing and release.

 

Its a reality. Its not perverted it just is truth Shiva seeks Shakti and shakti seeks Shiva.

 

Your Kundalini Seeks Shiva in your Crown Chakra your Crown Chakra Seeks Shakti in your Base.

 

The same thing is occurring in the Earth and the Heavens & in all planes of reality.

 

 

Best wishes to you and hope you can see inside of yourself the truth of things.

 

Go back to the basics of KAP Secret Smile + each element ONE at a time till you get an understanding of each one. Before you go further. Otherwise when Kundalini opens and one is not firmly rooted, Surrendered to the Divine, nor aware of the "psychology & Polarity behind each element & center" one is just asking for disaster and a constant battle with ones own limitations and ego.

 

 

Love & God Bless

 

Santiago

 

 

I should have kept my mouth shut.

Apologies to Santi for bringing down his thread.

 

 

No its ok you learn by expressing your self. :) No shame in that.

 

Love

 

Santiago

Edited by Vajrasattva

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It was interesting because in Tao's weekly meditation he said he was only sending a little Shaktipat and the Shaktipat that night would be much more powerful. But I felt Tao's little bit more than anything during the night session. Maybe it was the real time interaction? Or because it was a smaller group? Or I was more open (I had just come back from qigong in a park)? Prince or Mal (or anyone else on the 5:00 call), how would you compare the two?

 

 

Tao's "little Shaktipat" that he gave us at 5, I think he said he was using the Fire mudra? I just feel juice--earth, water, fire, air-- I'm not sensitive enough to tell the difference. I just feel something and I get hot. Whatever Tao did, he opened up my feet. I had not really been feeling anything in my legs and feet before yesterday. Some of the stuff Tao asked us to do, I had trouble with--just cause I did not really understand it. If I focus on my crown too much I will end up with a headache, so the chakra above my crown thing, I tried my best.

 

With Santi, when he was actually talking during the review, I was good. When he cut the audio, I had trouble because I'm not used to practicing with my eyes open or trying to read at the same time. I felt a lot of warmth, like a lot. The stuff Susan showed us really relaxed me so much that I did not want to type anything--I just wanted to sit there. At some point, probably around midnight, I was being wrapped in a warm blanket and there was intense heat in the knee that I hurt most recently. I dozed off to a dreamless sleep around 12:30, so I missed the sex talk even though my skype was still up and running.

 

SereneBlue, I havent practiced my KAP today either, but I've been listening to Mercan Dede on and off all day and I practiced some Tai Chi early this morning. I walked behind the chapel here on campus to the garden behind the chapel and just sat on a park bench. I was so relaxed that I slipped into about a 12 minute meditation with just deep breathing. Maybe you should just detox or something and just sit and meditate...or you can try the shaking tree thing? Anyway, I'm sorry that you're in a funk right now :( I hope you feel better soon.

 

Prince...

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I should have kept my mouth shut.

Apologies to Santi for bringing down his thread.

:(

 

No way SB Every feeling is of equal value. Always feel free to post. I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling down though. I get the feeling that sex is perhaps not the most hang up free area of your life (I don't mean to be offensive)

 

If it helps I started bawling my eyes out at that point as the love was just so incredibly beautifully and it was easy for me to feel so inadequate in comparison.

 

It was a pretty intense meditation but the experiences can become what we make them, everything is relative. (Kameel's Shakespeare quote is awesome) There can't really be anything wrong with just feeling what you feel. Don't reject it, just allow it to be without attachment.

 

Still Secret smile is great for changing moods ......although it's often my answer for everything these days :lol:

 

Not really into comparing stuff but I enjoyed Tao's little experiment as he rarly runs much energy in his classes I think Santi once said he is very ninja I agree :ph34r:

 

But I remembered the bit about trying to connect with the girls. So I connected to Fran a bit as I've gone KAP with her and she feels VERY strong but I also tried connecting to Susan and OMFG that was intense as in scary intense. Wow. I think that's why I had to back off and root in the middle.

 

Thinking of you all with :wub:

 

p.s The sleepy thing Yes I felt that too. Not that it matters but I think it was the pi breathing. I think there was one point were none of us could be bothered to type :)

 

regardless of the slight lag I would love to do one of these things on Ustream. But that probably does not lend itself to changing meditation leaders as easily.

 

Seriously have a look at 5:35 on this

MwMyiDbQrjY&e

I WANT that as a poster.

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It was interesting because in Tao's weekly meditation he said he was only sending a little Shaktipat and the Shaktipat that night would be much more powerful. But I felt Tao's little bit more than anything during the night session. Maybe it was the real time interaction? Or because it was a smaller group? Or I was more open (I had just come back from qigong in a park)? Prince or Mal (or anyone else on the 5:00 call), how would you compare the two?

 

I thought that I would just point out that if you remember, Tao asked those of us on the call that could open Kundalini to add some of our Shakti to the group energy, and at one point he also asked us not to send so much. So although Tao may have only opened Kundalini a little, perhaps it felt stronger to you because of the energy from the group as a whole. I seem to remember that there were about 20 people on the call.

 

Way :)

Edited by Way

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Shakti can amplify all our qualities including our fear & negatives. so the key is to run smooth and clear out channels before so when you do get a boost of shakti what comes out is "clear".

 

as Glenn used to say "if you where an ass before Kundalini you will be a bigger ASS after Kundalini".

 

a fear or a deep rooted issue can get amplified if one does not clear things out before hand or as one is going through the process.

 

This is why secret smile & working with the 5 elements is SO IMPORTANT.

 

Love

S

Edited by Vajrasattva

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a fear or a deep rooted issue can get amplified if one does not clear things out before hand or as one is going through the process.

I am unsure as to how one would ever know if a deep rooted issue is 'cleared out'?

 

Until the Shaktipat I never would've thought I'd have a reaction like that.

 

Secret Smile - hands down - is the one KAP exercise I don't do well at all - even after all these weeks. I am only aware of one emotion I can summon up clearly during the exercise without having to guess at what it is - happiness. The rest I am trying to amplify...well...something...I think they might be the other emotions needed for each phase but I can't tell for sure. Despite the difficulty I decided to be optimistic and believe I'm feeling each emotion and hope eventually whatever I'm trying to amplify will happen for real.

 

I've never had all the emotions layer together as Tao says they eventually do. I've never experienced the resultant bliss. But if anyone asked me if I had 'deep rooted issues' I wouldn't be able to think of anything.

 

*shrug*

 

I am beginning to wonder if KAP is best for people who don't have to guess at what they're feeling like I do. It sounds like my continuing with KAP would actually be dangerous? I am scared of having a Gopi Krishna style Kundalini Awakening. :unsure:

Edited by SereneBlue

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I am beginning to wonder if KAP is best for people who don't have to guess at what they're feeling like I do. It sounds like my continuing with KAP would actually be dangerous? [/b] :unsure:

 

Hey Serene,

 

Yeah I often have to guess at what I'm feeling. Sometimes there are layers of things. Getting better at it.

 

As for danger, I'd keep your own counsel on what you consider dangerous or not, as well as asking the person who is teaching you.

Ultimately, you know yourself, well, that's my take;-)

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Do be too hard on yourself either SB this stuff takes practice and doesn't happen overnight, it's not a pill or magic bullet.

 

I retook the KAP 1 class before I felt I had a slight idea as to what was going on and it's been ~10 months of daily practice (I think) on top of all the other stuff I have learnt over ~15 years. Everyday things can change. Even with basic / fundamental practices there is a LOT going on (perhaps even more so they are fundamental)

 

Tao is awesome and is sure to be able to help you. But discussion boards would be really boring if we all just practiced and didn't post questions :D So....

 

Have a read of your kap notes for the secret smile on Relaxed Calm (seeing Happy is the easy one) Just breathe for a while. Remember to physically smile, perhaps pay attention to any differences you can feel in you body or face between than and not smiling. Try squeezing your toes and pay attention to how you feel when you relax them. Do that 3 times then continue on up. No rush, no goals. Just experience.

 

Eventually the teacher will post audio of Dr Morris doing the secret smile. He has a REALLY good voice. Great fun to listen and practice it with him.

 

Despite the difficulty I decided to be optimistic and believe I'm feeling each emotion and hope eventually whatever I'm trying to amplify will happen for real.

I am a big fan of fake it till you make it :D So that seems like a good approach to me.

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SereneBlue - keep going - you have some sexual hang ups - no worries - keep going - go beyond your feelings - Your ego will want u to back off due to fear of dissolving into emptiness - keep going - u r on the right path...What you are feeling is only dangerous to your ego - but, ego is still important - so no worries if you need to stay with it... Let your body spontaneously go with the flow when you meditate - let the life force "meditate you" - You r developing some energy, but it scares u - keep going, my friend :) U r doing really well...:)

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Yeah I often have to guess at what I'm feeling. Sometimes there are layers of things. Getting better at it.

I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one with this problem. :D You are the first person to mention a similar one to mine.

I retook the KAP 1 class before I felt I had a slight idea as to what was going on and it's been ~10 months of daily practice (I think) on top of all the other stuff I have learnt over ~15 years. Everyday things can change. Even with basic / fundamental practices there is a LOT going on (perhaps even more so they are fundamental)

 

I was under the impression your classes with KAP 1 had awakened your Kundalini? Is KAP 2 to be taken only after Kundalini occurred? I would like to take KAP 2 but it seems like it wouldn't be much use for me since it's (I think) mostly about partner-sex cultivation? My BF lives several states away and I just found out recently he won't be able to see me again for at least 1 year and possibly longer.

 

Eventually the teacher will post audio of Dr Morris doing the secret smile. He has a REALLY good voice. Great fun to listen and practice it with him.

 

Yes. Tao posted it. I like his voice. :) However, I eventually quit doing SS with the audio because I'd get frustrated that I can't amplify emotions the way Dr. Morris says to (he speaks with such enthusiasm!). Hard to amplify when you can't tell what it is you're amplifying.

 

To be honest my SS doesn't feel like I'm amplifying emotions. Instead it feels mostly like a trickle of energy. That's what I get when I try to 'amplify' though by doing SS I can feel it better now. :) So most of the SS exercise ends up feeling identical to my Macrocosmic Orbit. Well...except for the Happiness part..although I do succeed at times with the relaxation part too.

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I was under the impression your classes with KAP 1 had awakened your Kundalini?

Me Hahahahahahha. No no kundalini here.

 

There is heaps in KAP 2 Kap 2 topics I just tend to focus on the sex stuff because I like it B) You can do it without a partner, or eventually over distance, but there is plenty more in there e.g. Healing is much more fun that I had anticipated, very useful.

 

To be honest my SS doesn't feel like I'm amplifying emotions. Instead it feels mostly like a trickle of energy. That's what I get when I try to 'amplify' though by doing SS I can feel it better now. :) So most of the SS exercise ends up feeling identical to my Macrocosmic Orbit. Well...except for the Happiness part..although I do succeed at times with the relaxation part too.

 

Sounds good to me :) My "Practice" is basically running SS while doing the walking chi gungs that incorporates orbits and all sorts of good stuff.

 

My biggest issue is trusting myself. Is this "real" vs am I just imagining it. These days I usually just go with how I feel and try not to 2nd guess myself.

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With Santi, when he was actually talking during the review, I was good. When he cut the audio, I had trouble because I'm not used to practicing with my eyes open or trying to read at the same time.

 

WAIT! How'd I miss this? I never got any audio. It was only Skype text for me. There was an audio part? I wonder if this is why I didn't feel anything going on - because I only participated via reading what Susan and Santi typed in the text chat box? (I was fine with just reading - until I hit the section where Susan typed in the sex stuff with Shiva and Shakti).

 

 

 

 

p.s. Thank you djs.

Edited by SereneBlue

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:blink::blink:

 

WTH?!!!!

 

Uh...Santi, did you give me a Shaktipat just now or am I getting a (very) delayed response from the group meeting?!!

 

I don't know what the hell just happened but it was power unlike anything I've ever felt before! Heavy fire starting in my feet, Spiraling wind, fire and energy racing up my legs. When it hit the 2nd chakra I felt awful pain but it just kept going. And I certainly felt energy power at my brow and crown once it reached there.

 

If it wasn't Santi...I am flabbergasted as I don't know how to account for what I just experienced.

 

Wow.

 

Just....Wow.

 

:blink::blink::blink:

Edited by SereneBlue

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WAIT! How'd I miss this? I never got any audio. It was only Skype text for me.

 

The audio was for the earlier kap review classes that day. It kept dropping out so went with just text (I think that was the kap1 review

 

or am I getting a (very) delayed response from the group meeting?!!

 

Remember Santi saying :-

its a lot of JUICE

watch your self over next 7 days

visions, meditations dreams etc

 

Shakti knows what you need :D Just breathe :)

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I am unsure as to how one would ever know if a deep rooted issue is 'cleared out'?

 

Until the Shaktipat I never would've thought I'd have a reaction like that.

 

Secret Smile - hands down - is the one KAP exercise I don't do well at all - even after all these weeks. I am only aware of one emotion I can summon up clearly during the exercise without having to guess at what it is - happiness. The rest I am trying to amplify...well...something...I think they might be the other emotions needed for each phase but I can't tell for sure. Despite the difficulty I decided to be optimistic and believe I'm feeling each emotion and hope eventually whatever I'm trying to amplify will happen for real.

 

I've never had all the emotions layer together as Tao says they eventually do. I've never experienced the resultant bliss. But if anyone asked me if I had 'deep rooted issues' I wouldn't be able to think of anything.

 

*shrug*

 

I am beginning to wonder if KAP is best for people who don't have to guess at what they're feeling like I do. It sounds like my continuing with KAP would actually be dangerous? I am scared of having a Gopi Krishna style Kundalini Awakening. :unsure:

 

Its ok takes time just keep practicing.

 

: )

 

Love your self more and work on confidence.

 

You have the ability.

 

Love

 

Santi

 

 

Do be too hard on yourself either SB this stuff takes practice and doesn't happen overnight, it's not a pill or magic bullet.

 

I retook the KAP 1 class before I felt I had a slight idea as to what was going on and it's been ~10 months of daily practice (I think) on top of all the other stuff I have learnt over ~15 years. Everyday things can change. Even with basic / fundamental practices there is a LOT going on (perhaps even more so they are fundamental)

 

Tao is awesome and is sure to be able to help you. But discussion boards would be really boring if we all just practiced and didn't post questions :D So....

 

Have a read of your kap notes for the secret smile on Relaxed Calm (seeing Happy is the easy one) Just breathe for a while. Remember to physically smile, perhaps pay attention to any differences you can feel in you body or face between than and not smiling. Try squeezing your toes and pay attention to how you feel when you relax them. Do that 3 times then continue on up. No rush, no goals. Just experience.

 

Eventually the teacher will post audio of Dr Morris doing the secret smile. He has a REALLY good voice. Great fun to listen and practice it with him.

I am a big fan of fake it till you make it :D So that seems like a good approach to me.

 

If you can not do something Imagine what it would be like if you could. Then Imagine how you could do the same thing from a different angle or perspective.

 

 

The Mind knows HOW already

 

:blink::blink:

 

WTH?!!!!

 

Uh...Santi, did you give me a Shaktipat just now or am I getting a (very) delayed response from the group meeting?!!

 

I don't know what the hell just happened but it was power unlike anything I've ever felt before! Heavy fire starting in my feet, Spiraling wind, fire and energy racing up my legs. When it hit the 2nd chakra I felt awful pain but it just kept going. And I certainly felt energy power at my brow and crown once it reached there.

 

If it wasn't Santi...I am flabbergasted as I don't know how to account for what I just experienced.

 

Wow.

 

Just....Wow.

 

:blink::blink::blink:

 

Both Susan & I gave you Sahaktipat. And I give Shaktipat To all My Kap students daily.

 

Susan is aware of this thread on Tbumbs. She is just on the sidelines : )

 

You 1) had a delayed reaction. which is normal

2) Are more open from last session so you can feel the "DAILY" Juice sent.

 

 

It takes time just enjoy the Climb.

Best wishes

 

Love

 

Santi

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You guys are talking about some really nice concepts here. Too bad I have nothing to add to the discussion. (I am reading though.)

 

Happy Trails!

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o.k. current version of skype will not do public chats. you can google "download old version of skype" I went here

http://filehippo.com/download_skype/4911/

looks like it will work.

 

But Tao in his KAP one review taught us how to connect for shaktipat so don't need the chat, just meditate at the right time. If your teacher knows you will be there they can think of you i.e plug you in. It's a public meditation so you can also just plug yourself into it.

 

I'm allowed to post my notes BUT I'm not a teacher, all stuffups are mine and hopefully Santi will read this and correct me :)

 

Connect by Resonance for Shaktipat.

Run your secret smile.

 

MOST important ask your higher self if this is ok to do. Sometimes it's not a good time for Shaktipat so listen to your higher self it knows best. Higher self is above your crown. Should feel good if it's ok to proceed, might hear a little voice saying "yes" or "ok" etc.

 

Think of your teacher, say their name a few times, think of their voice, look at a photo, basically connect to them. Santiago Dobles and Tao Semko will be there. Tao said it is often good for men to connect with Susan Carlson as she has VERY strong Yin energy and that can feel different. If you have friends on the chat you may want to connect with them. It's usually a really nice group circle feeling.

 

Superimpose your body image over their body.

 

Ask higher self to bring energy down from above, could do that with the moon energy. Apparently shaktipat is an earth energy so you might like to bring that up from below your feet.

 

Important points.

 

Take once give back twice. Give your energy also, share with others in the meditation (share don't force it on them) Give to 4 Noble Guests, Hungry ghosts, hungry people, i.e. those in need.

 

Intend to receive energy from higher self i.e. the universe not physically from your teacher. You don't want to "suck" peoples physical energy. Also many people have safeguards in place to prevent this so you don't want to do that. Always be respectful. Receive from the universe. Give back with love and gratitude.

Thanks, but crap, I kept thinking Sep 3 was sometime this weekend. So missed this one, doh! :(

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I was under the impression your classes with KAP 1 had awakened your Kundalini?

 

I'm confused by what an awakened K is? I recall the thread where some people on TB were calling out the KAP crowd. I know I can meditate much longer now than before KAP. I sat behind the chapel here on campus on Friday afternoon in the Memorial Garden and if the trees hadn't shifted so I got a blast of sunlight in my face, I think I might still be sitting in that same spot. I got really still really quick using the zero point breathing Susan taught us.

 

*tee hee* Susan didn't like when I asked if that was a quick way to go into samadhi... Tao taught me that word *runs*

 

Anyway, I know there are a lot of things going on with me that I didn't have prior to KAP. This buzzing down in my junk and sometimes in my tummy wasn't there before...I could always feel heat in my hands doing Tai Chi, but I can see veins pulsing in my palms sometimes now. I breathe a lot slower than most of the folks around me. So I dunno what an awakened K means... SB, did you mean fully awakened? hahaha...I'm far from there, but I just graduated KAP 1 the week of the 27th and I can already notice some differences.

 

I wish I could do that thing with the pet from Damo's cave...whatever the PSD folks were doing. I have the most awesomest pet ever...everyone is gonna know what my favorite cartoon was when I was little.

 

Oh yeah, I'm glad you felt some juice the other day! Are you still feeling down in the dumps? I've been very tired since the shaktipat. I've only wanted to walk alot and I have been craving fruit and ice tea.

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