ronko

Controlling sexual desire

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hi everyone ,

i am having trouble with the whole sexual aspect of studying ,

i was wondering if anyone can help ,

 

from what i understand , you retain from ejaculation to build up your sexual energy , if you have the desire to have an orgasm you have a inner one , but there are so many storys of people damaging there prostate through this plus the fact of actually learning the correct technique

 

, i am very puzzled as to what steps i should take ?

 

does most people on here have inner orgasms when they feel desire , i dont want to end up some miserable old celibate monk !

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hi everyone ,

i am having trouble with the whole sexual aspect of studying ,

i was wondering if anyone can help ,

 

from what i understand , you retain from ejaculation to build up your sexual energy , if you have the desire to have an orgasm you have a inner one , but there are so many storys of people damaging there prostate through this plus the fact of actually learning the correct technique

 

, i am very puzzled as to what steps i should take ?

 

does most people on here have inner orgasms when they feel desire , i dont want to end up some miserable old celibate monk !

 

Don't quote me on this, but I think the goal is to sublimate your sexual desire into something else, thereby relieving the tension your feeling.

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Too much stress, not enough sleep, junk food, and being exposed to sexual imagery and ideas all contribute to making it more of a challenge. In men, prostate imflammation also makes control more difficult and things like stress, caffeine, and alcohol cause this imflammation. Saw palmetto can help and you do not have to wait until you are old to take it. In can even help in your 20s and 30s.

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If we control the sexual urge, it may lead to madness. Moreover, it cannot be controlled. If we try, we may ejaculate while asleep. It results in anger as well. So it's better to indulge than control.

 

Whoever said sexual urge must be controlled (I mean priests and other 'religious' people) must've been a sadomasochist.

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is coffee really a problem? h ow much of a problem?

 

i'm going to try to stop ejaculating so much, limit myself to twice a month. but I really likes me the coffee, I only do it for energy when i'm sleepy. does not ejaculating give you more energy during the day?

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Not ejaculating give's you more energy through out the day.

Also when you ejaculate you deplete energy you have stored in the dan tian.

I have noticed that by not ejaculating and meditating on the dan tian that I am physically stronger , can lift more , I don't get as tired or as hungry and I found I was drinking less tea and coffee.

But I am shorter tempered.

 

 

 

 

sabretooth.

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From my point of view, and in my experience, don't fight it.

 

Fighting it, or trying to "control" the urge creates tension, either physically or mentally, and tension creates blockages.

 

Yes, doing exercise, eating right, being a busy person in general, can lesson your desire to masturbate or to have sex or whatever else may cause you to ejaculate.

 

But ideally you reach a state of "wu wei" with the issue (isn't that the goal for life in general too? Hmm... connection? :P) You don't ejaculate and it's not an issue. And there are plenty of times in which you just don't even feel the need to.

 

So, if you get the urge, do it. If you slightly get the urge, do it. Eventually you'll reach a point where you realize that all the stuff you've been shooting off isn't really helping you. You won't have to FORCE yourself to FIGHT the urge. You won't even have the urge to begin with.

 

That's just my experience.

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is coffee really a problem? h ow much of a problem?

 

i'm going to try to stop ejaculating so much, limit myself to twice a month. but I really likes me the coffee, I only do it for energy when i'm sleepy. does not ejaculating give you more energy during the day?

 

It is sad to think the process of Jing to qi is so simple as not ejaculating.

 

There are specific reason why Internal Alchemy (inner alchemy) represents intricate metaphors of feelings along with changes within the body.

 

Its one thing to attempt to produce this by yourself. Unfortunately it doesn't compare to actually train in such things with a teacher and do the practices diligently and often.

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Just wondering if a blockage in the sacral chakra would casue one to be unduely focused on sex AND have a difficult time getting into full lotus as the sacral chakra is related to the hips?

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Good emotional health is vital. This is of course connected to physical health, but if sexuality IN ANY WAY is a problem then you probably have emotional blockages. I guess I would suggest the Small Universe meditation, lotus sitting and loys of walking, along with any organ-healing techniques like the six healing sounds.

 

And be prepared to spend some time with it. It may take a few years to cool down excess desire.

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Good emotional health is vital. This is of course connected to physical health, but if sexuality IN ANY WAY is a problem then you probably have emotional blockages. I guess I would suggest the Small Universe meditation, lotus sitting and loys of walking, along with any organ-healing techniques like the six healing sounds.

 

And be prepared to spend some time with it. It may take a few years to cool down excess desire.

 

Oh I have emotional blockages fo sho lol, which was the primary reason I got into qigong in the first place ... emotions / sexuality. So yea I agree with your assesment. Just seems like I am making progress, but it sure seems slow *sigh. Something you said made me ponder something. So lets say I have emotional blockage x,y, and z. If my chi level is relatively low then those blockages do not offer a whole lot of resitance and remain mild nucances. But when I retain for a week or two then blockage x,y, and z suddenly become X,Y,Z!!! Perhaps the increased energy from retaining for a while makes the blockages which already exist much more obvious and uncomfortable.

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Oh I have emotional blockages fo sho lol, which was the primary reason I got into qigong in the first place ... emotions / sexuality. So yea I agree with your assesment. Just seems like I am making progress, but it sure seems slow *sigh. Something you said made me ponder something. So lets say I have emotional blockage x,y, and z. If my chi level is relatively low then those blockages do not offer a whole lot of resitance and remain mild nucances. But when I retain for a week or two then blockage x,y, and z suddenly become X,Y,Z!!! Perhaps the increased energy from retaining for a while makes the blockages which already exist much more obvious and uncomfortable.

 

 

You're on the right track.. For me it took a divorce drama to get things really flowing. But fear not, trust in the Tao!

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You're on the right track.. For me it took a divorce drama to get things really flowing. But fear not, trust in the Tao!

 

I'm not sure if you want to go into your personal life, but if you wouldn't mind, I'd be interested to hear how a divorce got things moving in that area of your life?

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I'm not sure if you want to go into your personal life, but if you wouldn't mind, I'd be interested to hear how a divorce got things moving in that area of your life?

 

There's a thread buried somewhere called "jealousy". There you can read in detail what I was going through, or what I thought I was going through :)

 

In short, I had to connect to my liver to find all the anger energy stacked there. Once it started releasing, well, for me that was the most powerful experience. But that was only a part of it. A lot of it I still can't describe.. I simply feel so much better now, and so does the wife.. yeah we're still together but the vibes are not the same stagnant frustration anymore.

 

Before I used to feel really unhappy and, worst of all, sorry for myself if she didnt want sex for a week or two (she's an asperger person and not very active that way). Nowadays I happily cultivate my Jing and don't bother her when she doesn't need my services. When she does, I can perform way better now that my lower back and other related channels are more open. I used to be a really bad lover.

 

BTW I do SFQ and feel it's helped me a lot.

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Its interesting that I have gotten back several references to the Liver in regards to these problems. One thing I have noticed is that the last several times I have done my inner smile/healing sounds I have spent most of my time on the Liver cause I found so much junk in there. Two days ago I spent a significant amount of time on my Liver, and yesterday I was so exhausted and felt so crappy that I didn't really do anything at all. Just spent quite a bit of time again working on my liver. Hope I don't get exhausted again lol.

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I had some recent thoughts and observations about the issue of desire. I'm not quite sure how desire manifests itself in other people, be it physically, mentally, ect. But personally what I've noticed lately is that from time to time I have what I'll call "desire flare ups". Now I suppose there is nothing really noteworthy of this in and of itself as that is pretty much part of life and the reason we are in Samsara in the first place. The dilemma for this with a cultivator as has already been discussed extensively in TTBs is holding onto and transforming one of the most potent "fuels" for spiritual cultivation which is sexual energy. The energy can either go up to further spiritual progress or go down for the purpose of pleasure. Either way there is no judgment or right or wrong in this, just a matter of goals.

 

In my case the goal is using this energy for fuel for spiritual progress, yet which from time to time creates the dilemma of desire flare ups. Now what I've noticed lately is where and how desire is felt when it flares up. When I was a teenager and shortly thereafter usually desire would manifest in the sex organ itself, and most commonly in the form of an erection or at the very least swelling and an increase of sensitivity and the craving for physical stimulation.

 

What I have noticed now, and this applies for the past several years is that desire flare ups now usually don't affect the sexual organ, but I tend to feel it strongest in the chest. While sitting in meditation lately, specifically when doing mindfulness of the body and breath I've noticed I tend to feel desire manifest as pressure and constriction in my chest primarily, which then sort of radiates down and up a level to create this same sensation in my throat and solar plexus. There is a lot of constriction, tension, and I can feel my heart rate and blood pressure increase.

 

Lately I've noticed by internal observation during mindfulness of the body and breath that not only physically do I feel my chest constrict and tense, but I feel my lungs constrict and breathing becomes more labored and my heart rate and pressure increases. Along with those physical symptoms I've noticed as this is occurring an acute experiencing of the emotions of these two organs, that being the grief/sorrow/nostalgia of the Lungs, and the over excitement/passion/impatience of the heart.

 

Generally after about and hour and a half to two hours of sitting in meditation the intensity of these symptoms tends to subside and at last I am usually able to reach some level of emptiness. It is at this point that I feel the constriction and tension relax, the heart rate slows again, the mind quiets down, and those emotions that I previously listed calm down.

 

I guess what surprises me about this is that in the past I had usually assumed that sexual desire was just always felt in the sexual organ primarily and what ever other sensations occurred in the body were just a result of the excitement of the sex organ being the stimulus for it. The notion of having no arousal of the sex organ at all but feeling extreme sensation in the chest area has been novel.

 

My question is fist of all to those who are really in the know about this, as I really don't want a bunch of guesses or people who don't know what their talking about speaking a bunch of rubish. But if someone else has been through this or something similar, and/or has some real knowledge or insight as to this type of experience I'd love to further my understanding of this somewhat confusing and at times stressful event.

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the 5 element flow of wholeness might be:

Jing, Chi, Shen, Emptiness, Tao...


And i am making sense of this nonsense, so there must be SOME sense...


Tao is as though Earth. Housing the elements and their interactions to create Jing, which is as though Earth, body, and manipulates metals.
Transforming Jing into Chi is like building a dam... Chi into shen is like watering your garden with your dammed up reservoirs.

Shen into emptyness is like burning fields.

Emptiness into Tao is like the fires in the core of our Earth, shaping our bodies... Our Jing...


Or maybe i am just creating my own patterns :D:lol: n_~

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I had some recent thoughts and observations about the issue of desire. I'm not quite sure how desire manifests itself in other people, be it physically, mentally, ect. But personally what I've noticed lately is that from time to time I have what I'll call "desire flare ups". Now I suppose there is nothing really noteworthy of this in and of itself as that is pretty much part of life and the reason we are in Samsara in the first place. The dilemma for this with a cultivator as has already been discussed extensively in TTBs is holding onto and transforming one of the most potent "fuels" for spiritual cultivation which is sexual energy. The energy can either go up to further spiritual progress or go down for the purpose of pleasure. Either way there is no judgment or right or wrong in this, just a matter of goals.

 

In my case the goal is using this energy for fuel for spiritual progress, yet which from time to time creates the dilemma of desire flare ups. Now what I've noticed lately is where and how desire is felt when it flares up. When I was a teenager and shortly thereafter usually desire would manifest in the sex organ itself, and most commonly in the form of an erection or at the very least swelling and an increase of sensitivity and the craving for physical stimulation.

 

What I have noticed now, and this applies for the past several years is that desire flare ups now usually don't affect the sexual organ, but I tend to feel it strongest in the chest. While sitting in meditation lately, specifically when doing mindfulness of the body and breath I've noticed I tend to feel desire manifest as pressure and constriction in my chest primarily, which then sort of radiates down and up a level to create this same sensation in my throat and solar plexus. There is a lot of constriction, tension, and I can feel my heart rate and blood pressure increase.

 

Lately I've noticed by internal observation during mindfulness of the body and breath that not only physically do I feel my chest constrict and tense, but I feel my lungs constrict and breathing becomes more labored and my heart rate and pressure increases. Along with those physical symptoms I've noticed as this is occurring an acute experiencing of the emotions of these two organs, that being the grief/sorrow/nostalgia of the Lungs, and the over excitement/passion/impatience of the heart.

 

Generally after about and hour and a half to two hours of sitting in meditation the intensity of these symptoms tends to subside and at last I am usually able to reach some level of emptiness. It is at this point that I feel the constriction and tension relax, the heart rate slows again, the mind quiets down, and those emotions that I previously listed calm down.

 

I guess what surprises me about this is that in the past I had usually assumed that sexual desire was just always felt in the sexual organ primarily and what ever other sensations occurred in the body were just a result of the excitement of the sex organ being the stimulus for it. The notion of having no arousal of the sex organ at all but feeling extreme sensation in the chest area has been novel.

 

My question is fist of all to those who are really in the know about this, as I really don't want a bunch of guesses or people who don't know what their talking about speaking a bunch of rubish. But if someone else has been through this or something similar, and/or has some real knowledge or insight as to this type of experience I'd love to further my understanding of this somewhat confusing and at times stressful event.

 

 

Yeah I have posted the quote from physiologist Dr. Robert Sapolsky - for males the desire goes from the parasympathetic relaxation to increasingly the sympathetic stress which causes the loss of energy. So for meditation it reverses this to change the sympathetic back into the parasympathetic relaxation.

 

So that is why it goes away - this is the "purification" or ionization to create the yin chi energy from the jing energy becoming more yang jing.

 

So what happens is that if you have stored up chi energy then the mundane world attempts to deconvert or feed off the chi energy by lowering the frequency of the energy - this moves it from the heart to the liver (righteous anger at being deconverted) and then to the kidneys (bliss heat) and finally to the full sympathetic stress reaction.

 

So if you are catching that deconversion process early then you are sensing the heart switching to a sympathetic response -- that is very impressive.

 

This is why the 100 days training requires mind celibacy also and why most people never even achieve this goal - but for females it is easier if they commit to practice since they can stay more easily in the parasympathetic relaxation energy - they connect to the heart energy more easily.

 

But once you get into the pre-natal energy - the spirit energy -- that requires going beyond all the emotions - and as the energy builds up it makes the emotional reaction even more strong if the person is not careful.

 

So this is why then storing the energy in the lower tan tien is key because it keeps it from the heart and from the reproductive area.

 

Anyway also dreams have to be controlled.

 

Yes -- it is delicate as diet changes things - this is why Ramana Maharshi required a vegetarian diet - but the Brahmin rules are strict on gender separation also for mind yoga.

 

So the factors -- the energy is always transforming - it is a personal situation.

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